An alcoholic gives up on his 25th birthday and turns into a pony. Now she's just trying to get home.
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My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
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Gosh that chapter was intense!
Rhythm and tension were spectacular from start to finish, just as relentless as the monsters (magical or otherwise) hunting Berry and her daughter, making what could've been a 'simple' chase scene into a truly visceral experience!
I wish I could come close to crafting a scene of this caliber, and I can't wait to see what will come next!
I only come to this website to read this story honestly, it's really something else
Oh no...
oh no no no no.
Never trust a crazy ol' cat lady!
Was a little worried at the start with Pinchy firing so directly at what could've just been normal officers, but bringing dogs and releasing them on the pones is a no no.
But then! Discord! caught working with the kidnappers in the first place! Berry finally standing up for something and fighting back. First rule of injury, when impaled, don't take it out! They'll bleed to death faster. The sugar in the pudding would be primitive for infection reduction, but the wine likely would also help disinfect. Discord, always being so thoughtful. Then Pinchy... ;-; Pinchy nooo! Our precious little unicorn tearing her horn apart to save her mother. Just... PINCHY!!!! ;-; Gah, talk about a rollercoaster of a chapter.
10659199
Oh wow. Really? Do I know you from somewhere else?
I hope "something else" is still positive!
Either way, that's still an honor. Thank you!
Excellent job - I felt the hopelessness of Berry's and Ruby's flight. Great tension. I got the feeling Discord was going to pop in there when the forest was silent and felt off.
Well worth the wait.
Update -
You did somethung wonderful to me. There have been few stories that have stuck witb me, wuth me thinking about them a week after reading them.
I love the growth Berry is going through. I love that you didn't shy away from the fight for survival she had to go through - the gresomness was not gratuitous, but an organic part of the story.
I love the resolution of the encounter, and hope Ruby's horn can heal, at least so she can at least do some magic.
Looking forward to more.
Oh, and I've been reading the original - got to the part where Berry and Ruby shiw up. Well, actually well past that. Anyway, keep up the good work.
I really enjoy how you wrote Discord in this chapter. You perfectly captured the evil, malicious, and of course, chaotic elements of his personality that made him such a terrifying and wonderful villain in the Season 2 premiere. You also included his cruel and ironic sense of humor with his inside jokes to himself. It’s a very subtle balance, but I think that you really hit the nail on the head! Subtle details like having the rain be wine are just an added bonus to this whole portrayal. Then you add onto that an element of actually making the reader genuinely feel somewhat sorry for Discord, although it’s hard to say whether or not Barry’s comments actually had an affect on him. Still, it was enough to give him some pause, so that’s very intriguing.
Also! Poor Ruby! Just as she is starting to really get a feel for her magic, it seems like it might be cruelly taken away from her! I wonder if she is even fully aware of what she has done? It possibly hints to elements of her ‘childhood’ now being stolen away from her for a third time, so it will be interesting to see how that develops. Overall, another wonderful chapter!
... geez! Talk about a katabasis! First the kidnappers, and then all of this? Berry and Ruby deserve a big break after this!
... HOOO!!! STRONG Everything Everywhere All At Once vibes from Discord! Making Jobu proud!