What did I do wrong?

by Darkjolly

Will I ever move on?

Please listen to this music while you read this story.

The birds chirped and the wind blew a soothing melody as the clouds drifted ever so slowly over the Canterlot Garden. The sun burned a bright crimson, filling the utopia that is Equestria with light and colors and while the garden was a place for relaxation and peace one could not put their guards down. The guards we’re all on their routinely patrols, mostly keeping their eyes on the statues of the imprisoned, incase one of the seals faltered. In the middle of the garden, stood a tall statue of the infamous Discord.

Just by looking at it one could sense the feeling of disharmony and at the same time sadness. Though frozen in place, the Draconequus was still conscious and was observing the world in front of him, since he couldn’t really turn. All this peace or this normality was revolting. Life needed some spice to it to be enjoyable yet these ponies never understood, they all just want to live boring, plain lives.

He was doing them a favor! To break them from their normal stale routines of waking up, go to work then go to sleep. But how do they repay him, they turn him two stone TWICE! He didn’t know his former subjects were taking his pranks so harshly, in fact he thought they were enjoying it. Then it all happened so fast, when Luna and Celestia betrayed him, they were his best friends, yet that didn’t stop them from using the Elements of Harmony on him, they didn’t even say goodbye..they just called him a monster, for reasons he did not know.

The Draconequus sniffed in, trying to withhold a tear of despair, when one has to spent generations in a cell, he or she do tend to get emotional and talk to themselves to have the feeling of company, Discord was no different.

“I thought I was being a good king.” His dam broke and tears began to flow down his cheeks with no mercy. “I don’t want to be here anymore, I want to live.” He yelled out in desperation, though nopony would hear him, only his mind would go through the torment of his ear piercing cries of agony. “What did I do....what did I do wrong!?”

*_*_*

Queen Crysalis watched over her impoverished Kingdom from her throne room, though her expression was neutral, her inside were burning up. Her subjects, her loyal changeling were dying. The cause of this was starvation, with the fail of the invasion on Canterlot they couldn’t harvest enough love to survive the upcoming seasons, and with most of the soldiers gravely injured, there was no way they could mount another assault.

Queen Crysalis was against the idea of attacking ponies, even though she disliked them greatly for putting her changelings in the position they’re in now. She only wanted to feed her subjects, so they could at least live decently. Why do ponies dislike them so much? Just because they’re were different? Because they’re we’re born to feed off love? Ponies had all the love in the world, they live merrily each day, they live prosperous, they had no conflicts, why couldn’t they share some of that feeling with them, why were they so greedy? Their princesses protect them from all the evils that the outside species have to endure through, they don’t understand the feeling of suffering and pain, they are racist equines, only caring about themselves.

“What did we do to deserve this?” Crysalis mumbled, as she turned her gaze up to the cloudy sky. A hefty storm was picking up all of a sudden, what was the cause of this? “Why do we go through bad to worse situations..” She shook her head and proceeded to leave the throne room “What did I do wrong?”

*_*_*

Deep in the Everfree forest, there was a lake. It wasn't an ordinary lake, no, for it was the famous lake of sorrows. It was a lagoon that only appeared in the eyes of those who truly felt grief and disconsolate. It gleamed a bright blue as night began to kick in but even under the grey/black menacing clouds that covered the whole country of Equestria, the lake holds its beauty, it was like looking into the very soul of blissfulness. The trees were swaying violently as the gusts of wind rocked them back and fro, tearing off their leaves and sending them up to the heavens in a mesmerizing dance.

Somepony was gazing at this said lake, from atop a balcony in a decaying castle. Just like the castle, this pony was forgotten from the world, this pony was tossed aside discriminately, why? Because she wanted to be heard, because she wanted to feel the fluffy feeling of being cherished and loved, this pony was Nightmare Moon, but getting rejected by that feeling for more than three thousand years tends to darken the heart.

“What have I become?” She cried softly, as a shadowbolt quickly came to her side with a handkerchief in its mouth. The former night princess gave the shadow pegasus a caring smile before asking it to give her some time alone, it nodded and and scampered out of her room.

The mare of the night gazed up to the cloudy skies, only managing to see some stars through patches. The night, she made, was truly magnificent, if only she had somepony or friends to share it with...if only they could understand her true feelings of weakness. Long ago she lost somepony very special to her, and it was for that reason she turned against the ponies, her bottled up emotions of sadness converted her soul into a vile monster. She didn’t want to, for she loved her subjects with great care, but...it was just too much pain to contain.

“Would things be different, If I truly just admitted my feelings?” She returned her gaze back to the Lake of Sorrows “Would things be different if I just said I wanted a friend to cry on?” She closed her eyes as a chilly breeze lifted her hair almost angel like. “What did I do wrong?”

*_*_*

Unbeknownst to the others across the country who were also feeling the same way, the three agonized souls glanced at the moon they all shared, wet tracks dampening their cheeks.

“If only somepony would hear me out.” They all said in unison. “If only I knew what I did wrong.”

Comments

[read all the stories]

Deep and right in the feels. Amazing job at making them feel like they all weren't really evil.

[Honey Mead]

I have mixed feeling about this.

The Discord section was good. I could sympathize with him and his actions.

Chrysalis could have been better. The problem here is that she is expecting sympathy after attacking Canterlot. She never gave them the option to accept the changelings into pony society. What might have worked better would be having her lament about her own failings as the queen of her people. Allowing her hubris to get in the way of victory. Or that there was a better way to go about it other than an all out invasion. Focus on the personal remorse.

Nightmare Moon. Honestly, this part was confusing to me. Nightmare Moon is Luna. Luna is Nightmare Moon. This is where you lost my vote, it really just didn't belong here at all. Now you could have done Trixie or Gilda. Those would have worked, but Luna is 'reformed' so there is nothing to lament.

[D4ddy D15Cord]

1108931
Well....In many Fics, NightMare Moon Is represented As A Spirit Within Luna And taht Take Over Control Of Luna, just Like An Alter-Ego Personality.
In Some Fics, Nightmare Moon Is represented As A Demon In Luna's Body...There's Also A Lot Of Different Stories, So Different Point of View About Who's Nightmare Moon.. Now, if you're Saying Taht You're Right And The Others aren't, It's True, but not For Everyone....

dl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/discord.png <(Glad i Have Somepony Who's Friendly)

[Pokey the Unicorn]

This is pretty good, but it began to feel rather gimmicky as I read through. The discord section was amazing, but I would have preferred if you wrote more about that. Chrysalis's section was good too, but Nightmare Moon's section felt needlessly tacked on. Seeing the same catchphrase repeated in bold was again, gimmicky, and it made no sense to me. I can accept that you have an alternate interpretation of what Nightmare Moon is, but the Shadowbolts? They're fictional beings created to tempt Rainbow Dash. NMM WAS the shadowbolts.

[Honey Mead]

1109092
In that case, my issue then becomes thus...

A remorseful daemon/spirit/thing that took control of another being in order to bring eternal night? Sorry, but that still doesn't sit well with me.
It's not about having a different point of view on NNM, but it is about consistency with the source material and with character actions.

[EDIT] If the only part that had been posted was the Discord section I would have given it a thumbs up. But that is not the case, so mostly I want to give a good author my reasons for not voting up is story{/EDIT]

[Jade Jaspers]

NNNNOOOOOO MAH FEELS GATE!!!! dont cry dont cry dont c asdfa tears!!!

[sleepingwithwolves]

This is an interesting one.
The Discord section was done well, and that's the one I enjoyed most. The Chrysalis section was... Okay, but I think it could have been better. I like the idea that you used (The ponies getting rid of them because they were different), but I think it could have gone into Chrysalis' failure as a queen though. The Nightmare Moon section was the worst. It was okay, and I like the idea of having the Shadowbolts as her servants, but it's true that Nightmare Moon is Luna. I liked it, though, and overall it's okay

[???]

tears relly? none were shed this day...

[Darkjolly]

1110029>>1108931

Thank you for the feedback.

[tajjetone]

Right in the feels. 10/10.

[Little_Draco]

Short but amazing! Though I didn't listen to the song for various reasons I could still feel the emotions radiating from each villians out look.

[bendelsohn]

Look man, even though I don't ever get emotional about sad fanfiction, I can usually appreciate it. This was just silly. Discord's part was OK, but how exactly can he cry? He's a statue.
Chrysalis seems to be confused as to why the ponies don't like her. Maybe it has something to do with the fact that you NEARLY DESTROYED THEIR CAPITAL CITY. Good lord, if you need food, just freaking ask for it.
And Luna, come on. You know exactly what the fuck you did wrong. Don't act like it's not obvious.
Sorry if this sounds harsh, but even with the music this really just didn't do it for me.

[Darkjolly]

1111523

Discord: Inside the staute, he was crying inside the statue. Christ, I thought the picture would even help

Chrysalis: Desperate times calls for desperate measures.

and as said above, I am one of those people who sees Nightmare moon as a individual entity and not Luna, like a soul of a deceased pony or something like that.

[shamrox17]

This is awesome. I love how you made the story all about the villian's side of what happened. They're just desperate creatures looking for friends, and food. Great job, please bring more!

[airbournesquid]

short but sweet, great choice of music, by the way.

[kanothepegasus44]

Right in da feels man

[Worgen1607]

All the feels

[Putainnn]

Pardon me for asking, but whose art is that?