- Member Since 7th Jul, 2016
- offline last seen 2 hours ago
ShadowMarauder
Hey my name is ShadowMarauder and I like HiE stories and some romance/comedy stories I hope you like the stories I write. Also pardon my English :D
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Well you've got my attention for now. Things are moving a bit quick for the moment but based on the chapter title it works. It's a good ground work for a story. Don't have enough to really have an opinion on it but I'll be keeping an eye on it.
How about a keyblade?
The lore(as far as I know):
Weapons fashioned in ancient times in the image of the χ-blade in order to fight back the darkness and maintain order in the World. Keyblades can only be wielded by chosen individuals who are strong of heart.
Shaped like keys, they operate any lock in existence and are imbued with magic and other unique capabilities. Keyblade wielders may "bequeath" their powers to the next generation upon meeting worthy individuals
Alright, so far so good. I have noticed a few spelling errors:
our
Also, be careful when introducing such powerful characters. You might make the conflict too stale on accident so add perhaps some problems similar to what One Punch Man has. That may include loneliness or depression from being too powerful.
I support this so far. Keep it up!
If I had this power I would main the Doom Slayer. Why? Because fuck anything that stands in my way, Rip n' Tear style.
9995547
Oops let me correct that, thanks!
On that note, realize that bringing an overpowered character will be a lot more difficult to write a story about. I'll try my best to make some conflict. If there is one problem with Jumper 0007 it would be his mentality. To him what he views ponies as are disposable assets while he views he humans invading Equestria to be liabilities that are easily dealt with. I suppose that's one thing that's wrong with him that could create some form of conflict.
9995604
I mean, if you know the Lore behind Doomguy/Doom Slayer's powers then feel free to tell me. It's just added arsenal for Jumper 0007.
9995442
Nice, this can be used for Jumper 0007's countless arsenal. If you're curious as to how powerful he is let me tell you this, most of the weapons he knows is based off of my knowledge in anime, games, movies and comics. So by adding something from a game I haven't played yet (I assume that's Kingdom Hearts) then that's splendid!
On a side note, aside from the Lore could you please tell me the capabilities of the Keyblade? Also, if you could refine that Lore a little bit more. I'm assuming that such a powerful weapon wouldn't have this less detailed of a Lore since you know... it's really powerful.
9995055
Thank you for taking your time and reading this work. This story was inspired by a writer in Fanfiction.net by the name of Imaginationsburstingout. I will agree that the pacing of the story right now is a little quick even from my standards but that's mainly because it's just starting. Once the rebellion begins then the pacing should slow down. I hope that you can stay and continue reading my story. What I'm looking for at the moment is an opinion since this is currently my first time writing a story.
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The capabilities of keyblade is as such:
Power:As the name implies, in combat, Keyblades are used in a manner similar to swords. Despite the fact that most possess no actual cutting edge, Keyblades still make efficient combat weapons, and are shown to be particularly effective weapons against Heartless, Nobodies, Unversed, and Dream Eaters. However, as a downside to this, the Heartless use the Keyblade as a homing beacon, and thus Keyblade wielders are at constant risk of Heartless attacks at any time.
Most Keyblade wielders are also able to extend their Keyblade's length with Light or Darkness for their ultimate attacks. This has been seen for Sora's Ars Arcanum; Roxas, Xion, and Riku's Limit Break in Kingdom Hearts 358/2 Days; Sora and Riku's Limit, Eternal Session; and Terra and Aqua's Command Style, Blade Charge.
The main power of the Keyblade, however, is the ability to seal or open the barriers between worlds, as well as to "lock" a world's Keyhole, preventing the Heartless from attacking that world's heart. As an offset of this ability, the Keyblade can also be used to lock or unlock any lock, allowing the user to access any sealed interior, whether it be a locked room, gate, or treasure chest. The Keyblade opens and shuts locks by emitting a bright, thin beam of light; this can also be used as an attack against certain enemies, although it is not featured in general game-play. Keyblade wielders can usually just simply tap the surface of a treasure chest and that will be enough to open it.
In addition to its base powers, it is possible to modify a Keyblade's appearance and powers by attaching various Keychains or Gears in the wielder's inventory. However, there are many Keyblades that do not possess a keychain for reasons unknown. There are other instances of the Keyblade changing form, such as when Riku's Soul Eater becomes the Way to the Dawn and when Roxas's two Kingdom Keys transmute into the Oathkeeper and Oblivion, but the mechanism behind these transformations is uncertain. In addition, Keyblade wielders can also transform their keyblades into other objects, vehicles, and weapons though it is hinted that Keyblade wielders can only do this after a certain amount of training. Terra, Aqua, and Ventus seemingly have this ability as they transformed their keyblades into vehicles they use to travel to other worlds. Sora also acquires this ability after his Mark of Mastery exam as he was shown to transform his Keyblade depending on the type of Keyblade he is using. Sora was shown to be able to transform his Keyblade into dual guns that fire magic bullets, a huge bazooka like weapon, and a chariot with a flying Pegasus.
Magic:Keyblades are natural conduits for casting magic, as seen when Sora uses his Keyblade to command his magical attacks. This is not to say, however, that magic cannot be performed by a Keyblade Wielder when they are unable to summon their weapon, as seen when Sora is able to use magic despite having his Keyblade stolen by Riku or when Xion is able to use an array of spells before obtaining her Keyblade. However, in Kingdom Hearts Re:coded, Data-Sora is prevented from using magic when his Keyblade is destroyed by Maleficent. Some Keyblades have the innate ability to enhance specific kinds of magic, and many also augment the user's magical abilities on a more general level. Keyblades can also augment the holder with other powers and abilities that they would not normally be able to use.
Sorry if it's a bit too long.
9995941
Nah, this helps out a ton. It lets me understand just how powerful a Keyblade is. I'll be sure to use this in future chapters. You might not see it now since creating this would attract attention to 0007. I later episodes it will appear.
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Glad to help. Keep up the good work!
9995627
Alright, I perfectly understand the difficulty of this fic and wish you the best of luck.
When it comes to Doom Slayer lore he was the leader of the Night Sentinels, a group of advanced warriors guarding celestial (no pun intended) beings known as the wraiths. The wraiths gave them inhuman powers in exchange for protection. The Hell dimension wanted this power. The Doom Slayer, the leader of the Night Sentinels, recently lost his son. It's not said how he died but the Doom Slayer was stricken with grief. The demons used their manipulation to strike a deal with him. If he were to lead them to the Wraiths then they would resurrect his son. As the Wraiths fell the demons of hell absorbed Argent D'Nur (The Night Sentinels' dimension) into the hell dimension along with its power. Using their new power they raised the Doom Slayer's son from the dead but in the form of sin itself. Enraged, The Doom Slayer went on a rampage and slaughtered anything that was demonic. His killing spree became too much for the demons. Even the mightiest demon, the Titan, as tall as a skyscraper and powerful enough to level mountain ranges, fell before him. This was before he even had his armor and guns. He soon came across a demon only known as The Wretch or The Betrayer. The Betrayer made him an armor that could absorb hell energy so it could heal wounds and give unparalleled power and speed. In a desperate attempt to stop him, the blood priests of hell laid a trap and collapsed a temple on him, trapping him. The demons placed the Doom Slayer in a cursed sarcophagus so he would sleep eternally in pain and torture. That last for 2,000 years before Doctor Samuel Hayden, the head of United Aerospace Corporation found him and brought him to mars. The research of demonic energy made huge profits for the corporation and solved an energy crisis. However, the demons tempted a weak-minded employee of the UAC Doctor Olivia Pierce into working for them. Because of her, a hell wave was unleashed and so were the demons. Samuel Hayden's only option was to open the sarcophagus and release the Doom Slayer. The Doom Slayer gathered some big-ass guns and raised hell on hell. Olivia Pierce punched a hole through time and space and into the Hell dimension. Eventually, The Doom Slayer claimed the crucible and used it to obtain all of the wraith's power and shut down the power source known as The Well. The Well crumbled without the power of The Wairths and the portal closed. When the Slayer got back Samuel Hayden stole the crucible (and made a huge reveal that it can be a sword somehow) and sent him back to hell. That is the lore so far until Doom: Eternal comes out.
In other words; This man is the embodiment of LITERALLY TOO ANGRY TO DIE
9996304
I've read up a little about DOOM and it's lore. Wasn't there an archangel somewhere in the middle? After learning that Doom Slayer got tricked he got angry. He went on a rampage, killing everything in Argent D'Nur then moved all the way into the depths of Hell. As he lead a one man army the demons became desperate and called to the Titan. Once he'd defeated the greatest of the demons didn't Heaven grant him more powers? Unending, unyielding and unbreaking rage.
Following the events of meeting with The Betrayer he used the power he acquired from the Wraiths, the Archangel and the armour that was suited for him. He razed Hell and pushed the demons all the way to the last levels of Hell, (because Hell is made up of 12 levels with each one increasing in ferocity) it was then here that the demons made a last ditch effort and destroy a temple over him thus putting him in this eternal coma. A sarcophagus is created for him and a mark (The Doom Slayer mark) is engraved on this sarcophagus as a reminder for all demons as to how he had nearly brought the demon race into extinction.
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I think so. I know that when he got his armor that was when it really pushed the demon off the edge. I forgot about the archangel part.
By the way, did you know that it is confirmed that heaven will not be an ally for the Doom Slayer in Doom: Eternal? They might even end up being an enemy.
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Come Heaven or Hell, Doom Slayer will kill them all if they get in his way.
Yeah there is something wrong. You keep changing abilities for what?! To never use them first spider man and he does even bother to use them much, and the other abilities and each time never are used.
Your just switching from one power to another, for apparent reason because you just do.
We get it HE IS ALL POWERFUL HE CAN GAIN ALL TYPE OF ABILITIES FOR THE SIMPLE FACT HE CAN AND WILL NEVER USE THEM!
10000631
0007 changes abilities just because he can. Along with the fact that there are some abilities that cater to specific situations. I've used the powers he had conjured up fairly. I used Spider-Man's spider senses so the he's always prepared because he's in a world that doesn't abide to the rules of canonical events, the super durability, strength and agility are just added bonuses. Also, the reason why he cannot use these powers at their full potential is because of the fact that it will attract attention to both himself and the rebellion. With how weak the rebellion is currently, he cannot just whip out power after power just because he can, plus if he truly shows his true powers, that would just make the ponies more dependent on him which kinda defeats the purpose of creating a rebellion. Why create a rebellion when you've got this super OP person that can handle every situation?
On the contrary, 0007 did make use of Spider-Man's abilities. Take a look at the chapter: 'Problems with Brutal Solutions'. During the fight with the manticore, 0007 used Spider-Man's super strength to battle the manticore when its jaws were locked on his Hylian Shield. Why didn't he use his spider senses? He has direct vision of the manticore and it's not like it's his first time fighting a monster, and it's not like the manticore is intelligent enough to know how to feint an attack. After the fight, he didn't really need to use Spider-Man's powers since no trouble was around.
I understand your frustrations; why isn't 0007 just letting loose? Well, in the next chapter, he will, after all he just transformed into a Yautja/Predator. That battalion of humans aren't going anywhere. Add on the fact that he had also taught the ponies how to set up Vietnam War booby traps.
Shit
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Is it the “This is brutal” shit or is it the “This story is bad” shit?
Either way, I appreciate your review!
Shit as in run faster bitch
This was far better then the other chapters. He actually uses all abilities and not just one ro two.
The reason I was so mad on the last few chapters, was it felt like a waste.
He can access any character's powers, cool but it's over kill as he doesn't even bother to use any except for one at a time and the changes again.
Like buying atool box with several dozen tools but you only use one tool and then lock up the box and forget about it.
Go out and buy another set only to use one other tool and lock it up and set aside and then do it all over again.
Anyways actually look forward to the next chapter, hope he captures one to interrogate, love to see him call them out on being hypocrites, hearing them saying they trying to save the ponies from their leaders.
Wow...just wow, I mean yeah sure sure never mind they were doing great for so many centuries, never mind the fact some of them the human invaders so called saviors got Pony Jerky, or the fact they are elsaving ponies as tools, or play things.
Or the fact Equestria has so many RICH resources, I mean you can dig in a back yard and pull out a couple gems worth thousands in their world.
LIARS!
that not important no no they not doing for that but to save them all!
I hope there are some humans who realize what they are doing is wrong and can help them.
Now that what I'm talking about! Being smart and using such a ability in such a way makes so much sense!
Well what the fuck this is like being hunted by a smart pinkie
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Like I said, the reason why he didn't use his powers before the he fought the hunter battalion is because he never found any reason to use it other than for convenience. Glad to know you're also enjoying the story as much as I enjoyed writing them!
10004916
Indeed, it makes much more sense for 0007 to use the shadow clone jutsu to tackle this situation. Don't get me wrong, I appreciate an overpowered character, what I don't appreciate is for that overpowered character asking for help (Even though what counts as help is just him X2).
10005104
. Unlike Pinkie Pie though, 0007 knows what he's pulling out of his proverbial poofy mane.
I guess that's one way to put it
So far so good
. I had a feeling you would have added all the cool spots of the movie as well. I was hopping you would have added the (I guess I would call it the challenge) stance clip from the movie 
. I keep imagining all the battle cry’s in my head 
. And as before, so far so good. I’m loving this read 
. Keep up the good work and hope to see the next one soon 
.
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Adding the line "Ugly Mother*fcker" sounds like its a cliche that, I believe, should be in every predator movie. I am glad that this story has attracted your attention.
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.
Thanks for the clip
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).
Yeah you right it’s cliche but I like this one better since you used it as a battle cry (for the human
I have a feeling what you next chapter is going to be
but it’s all going great so far. Thanks again and hope to see your next chapter soon 
.
10010861
Np
I don’t know if it’s making a note for this chapter (Nowhere to Run: Part 4), but I was really surprised. Not the fact that he still killed the hunters (no, that I was expecting). But the fact that he didn’t humiliate the Captain by telling him that the fight was “Not worthy” and forcing him to watch his men getting butchered (before pulling out his spine
) with the famous Predator laughter in the background (https://youtu.be/FTlgotBnW_A).
This was still a pretty good fight scene you made so it’s still a good story so far
. Thanks and keep up the good work.
So, this is an interesting concept. I think the Jumpers is a pretty cool. Giving the mercenaries the abilities of other characters and/or equipment from other worlds.