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Dunder Shux Studios Inc.27 stories ·22 members

Tales of War

Luna invites Twilight for a night of organizing the old Canterlot library, but when Luna finds a journal from the past will Twilight get more than she bargained for?

Chapters (6)

Prologue · 6th Sep 2012 · 1,129 words
1,129
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Falling for mares · 8th Sep 2012 · 1,075 words
1,075
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Tasty Turkey and Smelly Pubs · 24th Sep 2012 · 1,205 words
1,205
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Forget to remember · 14th Jan 2013 · 1,044 words
1,044
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Terrors of the East · 8th Feb 2013 · 1,305 words
1,305
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Forsaken · 28th Mar 2013 · 1,130 words
1,130
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Comments ( 17 )

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bahatumay

bahatumay #1 · Sep 6th, 2012 · · · Prologue ·

There were quite a few missing commas and scattered mistakes (notably when Twilight asks how she can be wrong and "write"), but a mildly intriguing concept.

Swift As Lightning

Swift As Lightning #2 · Sep 6th, 2012 · · · Prologue ·

1228234 I'm not all that great with punctuation...

Pilate

Pilate #3 · Sep 8th, 2012 · · · Falling for mares ·

You'd think Luna would, ya know, warn a pony before sending them several thousand years back in-time/into a journal/into a hyper-realistic dream state. By the by, who is supposed to be speaking in the first paragraph? Luna? The Narrator? Luna the Narrator? I can't decide if it should be in quotes, italics or otherwise, I feel like you can do something stylistically to signify the time jump.

Good concept, though, carry on!