• Member Since 20th Feb, 2012
  • offline last seen May 14th, 2015

Swift As Lightning


In the end we are like the paint brush, spread across the canvas of life until we can no longer paint.

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Luna invites Twilight for a night of organizing the old Canterlot library, but when Luna finds a journal from the past will Twilight get more than she bargained for?

Chapters (6)
Comments ( 17 )

There were quite a few missing commas and scattered mistakes (notably when Twilight asks how she can be wrong and "write"), but a mildly intriguing concept.

1228234 I'm not all that great with punctuation... :facehoof:

You'd think Luna would, ya know, warn a pony before sending them several thousand years back in-time/into a journal/into a hyper-realistic dream state. By the by, who is supposed to be speaking in the first paragraph? Luna? The Narrator? Luna the Narrator? I can't decide if it should be in quotes, italics or otherwise, I feel like you can do something stylistically to signify the time jump.

Good concept, though, carry on! :moustache:

1239452 It's supposed to be the narrator and your right it should be in italics I'll fix that now

I'm not really sure about this chapter it seems a bit sketchy in my eyes but that might just be me *shurg*

1774304 Thank you so much for the awesome critique :twilightsmile:

1808259 Right that... the whole meat thing. It has something to do with crops not growing in extreme cold and hopefully chapter 4 will explain it all

1959347 dass why I said chapter 4 will explain stuff that was chapter 3 since I don't count the prolugue as an actual chapter :twilightblush:

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