I'm the Angel of Death and i'm here to lead you to the afterlife. (Avatar not made by me I suck at drawing. If life was a video game My art skill is -100
While Jake was playing a game. He got sent an email with pictures of runes. When he finished reading the runes he blacked out.
Luna was out on a walk after a long night in the throne room when suddenly she spots something falling towards her.
Page generated in 0.214 seconds
Total duration
1,020 users online
2,348,781 hits today, 2,591,549 yesterday
My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
Designed and coded by knighty & Xaquseg - © 2011-2024
Support us
SubStar
Chat!
Discord
Follow us
Twitter
MLP: Friendship is Magic® - © 2024 Hasbro Inc.®
Fimfiction is in no way affiliated with or endorsed by Hasbro Inc.®
It's pretty good for your first fic, besides it being a bit awkward. I'd recommend reading some other writers fanfics to get an Idea of how you want to write it. I'd check over your writing, because I'm seeing a lot of combined sentences that don't have a comma, question marks, and other things.
9304671
Psst! Don't encourage the Edgelord!
Ok Stonehearth. and i welcome critiscism. just as long as advice comes with it
I just wanted to inform you that the proper term for one who welds a keyblade is noramaly called key barrier.
9667701
Okay. Thanks for letting me know. But i'm gonna stick with my wording for now.
Why isn't there a dark tag?
9791985
because it wasn't really planned to get dark and i'm adding it here soon.
I like it so far but u would recommend getting someone to proof read your story before you post it and the way some of it was written feels rushed
9833798
Ok thanks for the advice. And honestly I wouldn't mind a proofreader but i'm socially awkward even through the internet. And my family doesn't even know about this so yeah. And I'll fix the chapter when I have more experience.
The whole 2 chapters I read are SUPER rushed no pacing minimal interactions between beings and all we have is the big picture minimal story in those 2 chapters.
When I read crossed with KH, you mean kindom hearts? I don’t usually read those kinds of fics because I never played any of the ssga and I wouldn’t understand the context
11837684
that's right. KH is usually for kingdom hearts. and it's ok if you don't care for kingdom hearts or not for my fic since I kinda stray from the KH lore. Especially since I myself doesn't have a huge grasp of the lore besides in the main games of "HEY the BBEG is in this world. go through the army from point a to point b then try to kill them." though i have a little grasp of the actual lore via videos on yt.
I was going to respond to the comment of the author, but honestly it gives me more grace and a little pity to have seen a few days ago the yellow label of incomplete and now see the red label of canceled
I cancelled it because i don't like the way the story started. while talking with a sister of mine that likes to write agreed that it would be best to restart from the beginning. but i'm going to make a new fanfic that isn't about KH. i'm currently going to do a Rain World crossover fic.