Darkdemonlucifer
Joined 7th Nov, 2017 ·
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soo is twilight dead or naw???
9208291
Find out in the next chapter! :D
The great clop scene is preceded by a somewhat off-putting intro, particularly regarding the guards being useless. Yeah, they are useless, but harping on it so hard makes the setting feel fake.
9208494
I decided to show, not tell. But they were sweating and pale because they were under the hypnotic influence of Luna and had been fed on by her.
They clearly wouldn't have expected this from their princess, so.
9208589
I meant the preceding parts where the narrative repeatedly says they are useless.
Stuff like
9208601
Well. When have all those drills ever helped them repel an attack in the whole of the show? Only in the canon universe.
9208611
My point isn't that it's incorrect, it's that explicitly pointing it out and lingering on it emphasizes the nonserious nature of the setting and makes it difficult to immerse in.
9208717
That's just how I write, lighten the mood, then slam them with the dark stuff.
Do we get told how Luna becomes a vampire?
9211118
Moon vampires, obviously. Smh
9211951
Well obviously, where else would they be hiding?
I might be doing a small follow up story. I know what happened with Luna was BS, but combat is my fetish so lay off.
There is a out of place 4 on this line
9236519
Thank you! I have been looking for that 4 for ages, it got out of its cage and I knew it was hiding somewhere.
9236534
your'e welcome. The 4 was not that hard to spot, I may be getting good at finding runaway numbers or that 4 needs to work on hiding better.
9236584
I am now appointing you my official number finding person then!