It started when the phone rang.
Chrysalis sat up and raised her eyebrow. The phone she had stolen shouldn't have been able to recieve calls. It was just to hack into any phone lines to possibly spy on Equestria.
It rang again.
She shifted on the couch upon which she had been lounging and took the headset off.
"Hello?"
"Yes, hello, my name is Legit Collector from the Equestrian Revenue Service. I am calling to inform you that you are currently under investigation for tax evasion."
Chrysalis lightly laughed and shook her head. "Oh? Is that all?"
"Our records indicate that you owe six thousand nine hundred and ninety-nine bits and two cents. Should you fail to pay you will be sentenced to no less than nine years in an Equestrian penitentiary."
"Oh, well then, I suppose I had better pay." Chrysalis's smile turned predatory. "However, you must give me something in return for my payment."
"Um... what?"
"Your teeth."
"Oh, um, ah... goodbye!"
*Slam!*
I wonder how long this IRS Scammer will keep up until the Ponies visit it in person and start bruising.
Now I kinda want to see just who this scammer is. I bet it is Discord doing it and he is only doing it to people who wouldn't fall for it.
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Forget bruising. Someone get the sledgehammer.
This guy doesn’t give up, does he?
You know, seeing as Chrysalis is neither a citizen of Equestria, nor a pony, she is under no obligation to give her name...
Well that was kinda lame.... no, I am NOT complaining, but she didn't even put much of a fight. That's what makes it so funny I guess. It's these short ones that are the funniest ones in this story! How do you manage that!?!?!
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Brevity is the soul of wit?
Chrysalis wants... his teeth?
That's different.
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I just figured out a major plot twist.... The scammer who's name I am too lazy to look up.... is actually Discord. At some point, he is going to scam Discord! Discord will pick up, amused, and when the guy attempts to scam Discord, says, "You can't scam me, I created you! That would be a whole different ball game and frankly would up this joke to M rated. Go out and do your job and not be funny"
I remember a phone ringing on national radio earlier in 2018 during a program. It was a scammer. The phone was the aincient nuclear line that was supposedly disconnected.
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That's what they always say, right?
Really though, one of very my favorite comedy fics is Cheerilee Edits Somepony's Terrible Fanfiction by Crowne Prince. Very short, very funny.
A wandering "b" perhaps?
I need to see a discord chapter. I think it would be hilarious.
“Hello, I am legit caller from the E..”
“How did you get my number! I live in a separate pocket dimension from you!”
I wonder why Chrysalis hasn't bred a new army yet.
This is great Rainbow Dash's was best, I thought, but I've enjoyed them all so far. Thanks for writing this!
Silly Chryssie. You do agree to pay. You say you will require a receipt in case this happens again, so let's arrange a convenient meeting place to make the payment. Then you pod the asshole, nobody misses him, and you dangle a wad of cash in front of his pod and feed on his love for money.
"Okay, now type 'double loo double loo double loo...'"
...
Yeah, that's about the level of cleverness and wit I've come to expect from Chrysalis.
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Hasn't found someone that meets her impossibly high standards to mate with. That, or she's still hung up on Shining Armor, which is...basically the same thing.
Hm. I feel like there was wasted potential on this one. I could think of a few ways it could've gone instead, one of the ways being the scammer is actually one of Chrysalis's changelings and recognizing who she is as soon as she talks. Though I guess that would have to be a story told on the changeling's side, or maybe both.
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That would be quite the plot twist.
I was expecting something a bit different, in all honesty, but ahh well, still good.
Could have been better.
List of people to never scam:
Twilight Sparkle, Celestia, Luna, that creepy one who wanted to take my teeth out.
this is amazing. i love that Chryssie's reaction is to say the absolute wildest shit.
...On brief reflection, I think Chrysalis was being sincere. It's probably worth giving him the money for exposing a serious flaw in her setup. (Presuming an analog phone system, receiving that call means one of her drones made a major goof tapping in - the kind which is traceable.) Especially with what she can trade a complete set of teeth for.