Prologue: Fatal Mistake?

At what could only be described as an unreachable location, he opened his eyes, each orb of sight glowing white with light. Though he didn't turn his head or move his body, he knew something was different. All around him, he was surrounded by ever shifting magma. Going through the more recent years of his memory, he found what he was looking for, a particular date he had in mind. The event he had sought was one that was almost three years prior, but the event itself was not important, what was priority was the time.

Speaking of which, he called out, to nopony in particular, "It is time".

Suddenly, though to anypony else it would have been nigh indiscernible, the lava began to move faster. At that moment it, the lava, almost seemed to be excited at what was to come. It was this thought that struck the Gatekeeper to get back to his present duty. He reached out with his mind's eye, looking, seeking, searching for the pony to wield the power. He knew that, once again, it would be difficult, as many would be able to either control or contain it but few would be able to do both, and would falter with it.

Traveling across landscapes he stopped quickly at better contenders. He saw a mare, she had a deep blue coat and a white mane. She wore a purple hat and cape, somepony was speaking to her, they spoke her name, it was Trixie. She had good magic, and could contain the power, but her magic was not refined enough, nor her will. The Gatekeeper saw that she would falter, corruption would take hold and she would be lost. He continued his searching.

He stopped upon hearing music, at least he assumed it was music. He looked for the source and saw another mare. This one had a white coat and two shades of an electric blue mane. She was using her magic on two vinyl records atop a table. The crowd she was playing for was cheering what he guessed was her name, it was Vinyl. He could see that she had very refined magic, no doubt from fine tuning her skills, he also saw that she would not be able to contain the power that he would grant. If she was to be chosen, she would be usurped by the power and most likely destroyed. He moved on, though thinking back he may give both of those previous ponies a chance.

His vision was taking to the outside of a tree this time, he could tell that although it was large in size, it was also hollow. He phased through the wall. There, sitting at a desk, another mare. This one had a rich lavender coat along with a violet mane with a single neon pink streak in it. Noticing she was still at her desk, he realized that she was writing something. Wanting to get a closer look and knowing that she wouldn't be able to sense him he fazed to her immediate left, though she would never know he was there, being both an invisible and intangible form of his conscious mind. He looked at the paper to see who she might be addressing, most likely a teacher, he thought, seeing as with all the books she was a scholar and this was the town's resident library. Coming back from his thoughts he began to read, and saw, in neat, skillful, and damn near perfect letters.

Dear Princess Celestia,

Mild recognition sparked in his mind. Celestia was the current ruler, this was good. Since this pony was the student of the ruler, she would have both the skill and the capacity to use his granted power, and so far cleared the things he required. Another thing though, and he didn't like doing it. He began reading her memories and sifting through the more important events. He saw that her name was Twilight Sparkle, she could be loud, but was mostly quiet, relaxed, but almost always serious, she was also the Element of Magic. Unexpected repercussions would occur in her title if he granted her this power. Just one last thing to check and he would be done, her bravery. Bravery in Twilight would be the most important, since she was the Element of Magic, and normally the one he chose would not be the Element, so she had to be brave enough to survive with her new title, that of Conduit, if she survived. Looking through the final memories, he saw that she wasn't brave or courageous enough to complete his task. She would give up before then.

"Damnit," he began to himself, "I had hoped you would have been the one to be chosen". She couldn't hear him though, but he continued talking as she went to answer the library's door. "I wonder though." He remembered that she could be brave for her friends, and an idea began to form, "I have done much worse." He kept speaking as Twilight and a cyan pegasus passed through him, both talking to each other about what he thought was most likely some study or research.

Checking again, he saw that this new pegasus did not look like she had been a student, rather, she looked far more athletic than Twilight, as if she was born for speed. Another memory stirred, the last Harbinger (Title for Conduit that is not the Element of Magic) died because he wasn't able to fend off the ponies of Alingrad himself and he did not have a guardian. He looked back at the pegasus and a new idea came into being. He sifted through her recent memories. She was athletic, a bit of a braggart, after some major incident though that was being modest, but, best of it all, he found that she was the Element of Loyalty. She, now known to him as Rainbow Dash, could be Twilight Sparkle's guardian, though again, as the Element of Loyalty, her title would become a more powerful one. She would become the Protector of Loyalty.

He laughed lightly, in sadness and frustration to himself, as what he was planning for these two was as wrong as it was perfect, but there was no other way, not anymore. He had to do it anyways, if he didn't, they would fail, and, if he remembered correctly, which he did, than the text he read when he was 'younger' stated.

The two must bond, become one, or the one shall die. A Conduit, above its element, needs not just a guardian, but a Protector, above its own element. These two must bond in unison, an exchange, life will be lost, pain will be dealt, but if the bond is completed, then these will enhance the other, build up the other to more than what either previously were. But, if the bond is not complete, they will both crumble to nothing, just as a keep with no mortar, or mortar with no keep.

"Just as I remembered it would be." He knew that he would have to do this after all. He made his choice. If Twilight and Rainbow were to succeed, they would need to rely on each other, bond with each other, give themselves to the other in whatever way that Rainbow Dash's bravery and Twilight Sparkle's knowledge would exchange and enhance the other. Hopefully though what they would gain would be more than what they were going to be forced to lose.

As Rainbow and Twilight finished their business, the Gatekeeper noticed that Twilight was floating a book that read, 'Daring Do and the Griffin's Goblet' into Dash's saddlebag. She fare welled the pegasus as the latter left the library. When she closed the door he had an idea on how to do what he had in mind, well. He would go about it carefully but in constant watch of what was to happen, The Gatekeeper's eyes ever so slowly began to close as he moved to his current objective.

Reaching the basement of the library, he looked for a suitable spot to begin, his eyes were a quarter closed. Floating throughout the bottom floor, he saw a good spot for his plan to start, his eyes were now half lidded. The spot he was at was visible from a particular part of the stairwell down to the basement, though it wasn't visible from the stairs themselves, this was perfect. He took a quarter of his power, his vision beginning to darken quickly now, and placed the book of his power to rest on the dusty chest he had seen, again, near the back of the basement. The book itself was covered in golden glowing runes, its cover was crimson red, but other than a few protection spells, some basic, others complicated, its title and runes were unreasonably complex, for good reason, as Twilight would become curious.

Almost done.

He took most of his remaining power -almost a quarter but not quite- and created a second book, its title read 'Daring Do: The Keeper and the King' and placed this one in sight of the stairs themselves. If he read her memory correctly, which he did, then upon each books finding, -the Daring Do was visible from the stairs and the book of his power was visible from the Daring Do- Twilight would inform Rainbow Dash of finding the Daring Do novel, who would then come, most likely immediately, and fly here to the library to read it. On the other side, Twilight would most likely worry about his book, but her curiously massive hunger for new knowledge would overcome her worry. Once Twilight opened his book however, it would be up to her on what would occur next.

At this point he could barely see. One final thing. He reached out, into Twilight Sparkle's mind, and with one last burst of power, created a thought.

Clean the basement.

His eyes closed and he faded from the basement. Appearing back at his home he whispered one last thing to nopony, "Good luck."

Twilight was just getting into bed when a thought registered in her mind. How long has it been since I've cleaned out the basement, Celestia knows how much junk is down there. She snorted and said to herself "Ugh, I am thinking too much right now, I need to get some sleep." With that she tucked herself in, turned off the light with her horn, and went to sleep.

Author's Note:

Hey everypony sorry about the wait. I had some personal issues to contend with, luckily though I hope to get out a new chapter every other week. So yeah, hope you enjoyed the read!

Shadow Blitzkrieg

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Comments ( 11 )

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heynow

heynow #1 · Jan 16th, 2013 · · ·

Oh My God, an update

Lostzilla

Lostzilla #2 · Jan 16th, 2013 · · ·

Ohhh fuc* god, you're back!

edit. And is a fuc* god prologue tooo, oh man you got me hyped

Comment posted by Lostzilla deleted Jan 16th, 2013

ezy goin

ezy goin #4 · Jan 16th, 2013 · · ·

Mild recognition sparked in his mind. Celestia was the current ruler, this was good. Since this pony was the student of the ruler, she would both the skill and the capacity to use his granted power, and so far cleared the things he required.

I think you're forgetting a word here:

Mild recognition sparked in his mind. Celestia was the current ruler, this was good. Since this pony was the student of the ruler, she would have both the skill and the capacity to use his granted power, and so far cleared the things he required.

I'm already liking this more than before.

Dragonstorm

Dragonstorm #5 · Jan 16th, 2013 · · ·

One of the better prologues i have read, looking forward to see how the rest turns out.

Timaeus

Timaeus #6 · Jan 17th, 2013 · · ·

Well...colour me intrigued. I'll be tracking this for sure.

Firedon

Firedon #7 · Feb 16th, 2013 · · ·

In the description:

Fire, it was stolen from the gods.

The comma would look better as a colon or semicolon.

When you do something your not supposed to

-> you're

be thrown into a situation were anything the may or may not do

-> where
-> they

They must also face the lords of the old world, who are legends in their own rights, and must acquire unbelievable power to combat such a threat. The lords are not the threat though, it's the gods, they want the magic back.

You might want to say that the lords are not the biggest threat or something like that, since the statement that they need power to combat them wouldn't make sense if you say that they are not a/the threat.
Also, you could use a conjunction for the last part to make it look better. An example could be: "it's the gods, for they want the(maybe instead of "the", you could say "their" if the magic originally belonged to them.) magic back"

but what happens when that fuel, is you?

-> I'm not sure if that is the right place for a comma, although I might be wrong on that.

In the chapter:

orb of sight

Is that "of sight" necessary? It kinda seems odd to me.

His vision was taking to the outside of a tree this time, he could tell that although it was large in size

-> either "His vision was taking him" or "His vision took him". I'm not sure which is the right one. Tenses were never my forte.
And again, a better transition would make the sentence look nicer. Something to go between "this time" and the "he could tell" so that it doesn't sound like a break in the sentence.

He phased through the wall.|sense him he fazed to her immediate left

I assume that you meant the same both times, and while phase and faze sound familiar, they are far from being the same. In this case, phased was the correct choice.

Another thing though, and he didn't like doing it.

This sentence feels odd too. Try reading it aloud to yourself. Maybe you could give an indication that he had to do another thing, which he didn't like to do? It's kinda hard to explain and I'm not sure about this one, so it may be just a personal preference of mine.

after some major incident though that was being modest

If you are referring to the whole Mare-Do-Well-thing, then maybe you meant something along the lines of "though she was being more modest after some major incident"?
Otherwise it seems like the "that" is referring to the incident and not to her.
And if you ARE referring to the incident, then I'd like to know if it was one from the show and if so, which one. Because I don't really remember any incidents where it would be modest to describe them as major. In that case, maybe you meant minor?

He had to do it anyways, if he didn't, they would fail, and, if he remembered correctly, which he did, than the text he read when he was 'younger' stated.

I think there is a grammatic rule against commas in front of an "if". However, you could add something to make it flow better, for example a "for" or "because"(,for if he...|,because if he...).
After the "and": The comma there is wrong.
It should be then and not than.
I'm not that sure on this one, but I think a colon would be correct instead of that period at the end.

These two must bond in unison, an exchange, life will be lost,

Did you mean "in exchange"? Or "and in an exchange"?

But, if the

The comma is unnecessary.

She fare welled the pegasus

I didn't know that "farewellled" is a word, but apparently it is, although it is written as one word.

what he had in mind, well.

I don't really understand the purpose of that "well". Is is meant like "Well, let's get this party started!"?

from the stairs themselves, this was perfect.

Wouldn't "which" work much better in this case?

to rest on the dusty chest he had seen, again, near the back of the basement.

The "again" kinda breaks the flow of the sentence. Without it, the sentence would sound much better.

but other than a few protection spells, some basic, others complicated, its title and runes were unreasonably complex

The "but other than" implies that something else should be mentioned. Otherwise the sentence seems to be incomplete.

He took most of his remaining power -almost a quarter but not quite-

I thought he just used a quarter of his power on the book for Twi. Where else did he spend so much power that another quarter is most of his remaining power?

upon each books finding

"Upon each book's finding"

who would then come, most likely immediately, and fly here to the library to read it.

So RD would come AND fly to the library? How about something like "who would likely come|fly to the library to read it immediately."?

it would be up to her on what would occur next.

That "on" doesn't seem to be correct. Maybe add something like "it would be up to her to decide what would occur next" or a similar reconstruction?

How long has it been since I've cleaned out the basement, Celestia knows how much junk is down there.

The comma could do much better as a question mark.
Just one last remark: Use this with caution. English is not my original language and my grammatical knowledge is far from perfect, so I can't guarantee the correctness of these notes.

So, now that that is out of the way, I like where you are going with this, much more than the previous version with the two keepers(or what they were called). Also, is he still the same kind of being that he was before? ~~You know, human?~~
I hope you'll give us a new chapter soon.
(After all, it has been more than two weeks.)