Now Hiring

Trans-Dimensional Pizza Delivery

Ch 1: Now Hiring

The pegasi at the Weather Station were pointedly avoiding going anywhere near the Head Office, they were also very pointedly ignoring the large amount of yelling coming from the office. Indeed, most tried to pretend that nothing was out of the ordinary, but a few of the pegasi felt a small twinge of sympathy for the poor mare who was facing the boss right now, although to be honest, it was entirely her fault.

“OF ALL THE THICK-HEADED THINGS YOU’VE DONE THIS ONE EASILY TOPS THE LIST!! YOU’VE BEEN WARNED BEFORE, AND YOU JUST KEEP ON DOING IT! IT’S INSANE!”

Storm Front, current head of the Ponyville wether team, took a deep breath, before continuing in a calmer tone.

“For Celestia’s sake, Dash. This is getting out of hoof. This had been the fifth time this month! You can’t just nap around when you’re supposed to be working.”

Storm Front raised a hoof, preemptively cutting off Rainbow Dash’s retort.

“I know, I know. You can clear the sky in ‘ten seconds flat’, but that doesn’t mean you can just laze around when you’re on the job. Especially when you are given a warning that an unscheduled storm may be coming in from the Everfree.”

Storm Front Gave her a stern look.

“Now Dash, I know that this isn’t where you want to be, I understand that, I really do, but this is where you are now. You are just lucky, incredibly so, that Cloud Kicker was able to round up some of the weather team and redirect the storm before anypony got hurt.”

Rainbow Dash looked down, ashamed. It wasn’t the first time she had taken a nap on duty, but it was the first time that somepony had almost gotten injured, or worse.

“Now Dash, I want you to understand that I didn’t come to this decision lightly, and that it really hurts me to do this, but if you aren’t going to do your job properly, then you aren’t going to do it at all.”

Rainbow Dash sat sullenly, barely even hearing Storm Front as he explained that her pay for the past month would be delivered as per usual, and that she would have until the end of the year to find new living arrangements, as her house was officially property of the Weather Station.

After she was released, Dash wandered down to the locker room, to grab the rest of her things. On the way she encountered her two least favorite pegassi.

“Hey, Rainbow Crash.” Hoops said, “How was your conversation with the big guy?”

“Hope he didn’t ring you out, too badly.” Dumbbell added.

“Shut up, and get outta my way.” Dash snarled.

“Oooh, looks like Crashie’s angry.” Dumbbell sang.

“Whatcha gonna do, Crashie? If you touch us, you’d get kicked out.” Hoops said with a smirk.

Dash gave a smirk of her own, before slamming her hoof into Hoop’s and then Dumbbell’s face, sending them reeling away.

“That little detail has already been taken care of, now get out of my way.”

“Whatever, Rainbow Crash.” Dumbbell and Hoops called, as they scrambled away.

Dash sighed, and continued trudging to the lockers. Once she got there she began clearing out her locker. There wasn’t much, so it didn’t take long. A Wonderbolts poster signed by Spitfire, a small vial of Rainbow Extract she had won in a bet, her goggles, and small bag holding a few spare bits. She packed everything up in a box, and scrawled her address on it, before dropping it off at the Weather Station’s mail center. Dash didn’t want to head home at the moment, but neither did she want to be seen around town carrying her stuff.

After flying down to ground level, Dash began to slowly trudge her way to the Sugar Cube Corner. She didn’t feel like flying, but Dash knew that she would have to get a job quickly, and since Pinkie Pie knew everypony in Ponyville, she would be Dash’s best bet in finding a new one.
As Dash approached the gingerbread house-esque bakery, she heard a familiar voice from over head.
“Heya, Rainbow Dash! How’s it going?”
Dash looked up and saw her long-time, if not particularly close, friend, Ditzy Doo.
‘No, Hooves!’ Dash thought, ‘She’s Ditzy Hooves now, not Doo.’
Rainbow Dash thought back to her friend’s wedding, and to the groom. The self proclaimed, ‘Doctor’ Hooves. Dash wasn’t sure exactly what kind of doctor he was, but she was pretty sure it wasn’t medicine. Based on his continual ramblings about time, his vast knowledge of history, and his collection of strange objects, Dash’s best guess that Doctor Hooves was probably an archeologist. Not as cool of an archeologist as Daring Do, but still.
Dash looked towards Ditzy as she landed, and replied.
“Not too good. I just... I just... I just lost my job.”
There, she had said it.
“OH, NO! That’s terrible!” Ditzy reacted in such an over-exaggerated way, that Dash had to give a small chuckle. “Here, have a muffin.” Ditzy reached into her mailbag and grabbed a muffin, before handing it to Rainbow Dash.
Dash gave a small smile, before devouring the treat.
“Thanks, Ditzy.” A sudden thought came to Dash, “So, I’m looking for some work right now. I don’t suppose that you...”
Dash trailed off, as Ditzy raised her hoof into the air and announced,
“I’ve got it!”
Ditzy started to dig around in her mailbag, occasionally pulling out a package that was far largeer than the bag, and handing it to Dash with a, “Hold this.”
After a few minutes of searching, and enough packages to build a small house out of, Ditzy finally pulled her hoof out, along with a slightly crumpled red flyer.
“Here you go!” Ditzy held out the paper to Dash, before noticing the other pegasus was struggling under the weight of all the parcles. “Oops! Thanks for that.”
Ditzy swept the boxes into her mailbag, and passed the sheet to a very confused Rainbow Dash.
“This seems like a good job for you. Well, I’ve gotta go. Good luck!” With that Ditzy took to the sky, narrowly missing some of the nearby houses during her ascent.
Dash shook her head and looked at the scrap of paper. It looked like it could be an interesting job...

DO YOU WANT TO WORK WITH THE BEST?

ARE YOU LOOKING FOR AN EXCITING JOB?
ONE THAT”S FILLED WITH SPEEDY CHASES, AMAZING ACTION, AND INCREDIBLE ADVENTURES?

WELL THEN, LOOK NO FURTHER!

If you’re fast, strong, and brave then this is the job for you.

– Walk in applicants accepted
–No experience necessary, training provided
–Flexible hours, and ample opportunity

As Dash turned the page over she felt a surge of hope. Maybe this job would be worthy of her amazing skills. Her hopes quickly fell as she read the back.

Join the Pete’s Za Pizza Delivery Crew Today!
Help deliver the greatest pizza in the multiverse!

Pete’s Za: We deliver to anyone, anywhere, and anywhen. All under 30 minutes, or it’s free!

Contact is simple, just call our number:
1 2 – 1 2 – Pete’s Za – 4 – You

‘Well,’ Dash thought, ‘I might as well give it a shot.’
Rainbow took a deep breath, closed her eyes, and called out,
“1 2 – 1 2 ...”

A/N

Hey everybody, now I know that a lot of you are going to be thinking,
‘Hey, Eath! What gives? You have a bunch of other stories to finish, why start another?’
Well my answer is this:
This story isn’t going to be something that I will work on normally, it’s just something to help my get the creative juices flowing if I ever get writer’s block. (Like now)

Anyways, let me know your opinions on the story, and let me know if you spot any errors.

Also if there is another story like this, I had no idea, and I’m sorry if it looks like I’m stealing someone else’s work.

~Eathlome

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