• Member Since 21st Feb, 2012
  • offline last seen 8 hours ago

Eathlome


Tai 'dovienya ain al'alantin a Moridin

T

Hi my name's Callidus Aurora. Now since whoever is reading this is probably one of the Big Folk, I should probably tell you right now. I'm a Faerie, one of the Fay. More specifically I'm a Pixie. I'm not like other Faeries, I'm an outcast.
This is the story of how I fled, fled from the disdain the I was forced to endure every day of the nine-thousand-fourteen years of my life. This is the story of where I ended up, and what I found. This is my story of a Faerie in Equestira.

Chapters (5)
Comments ( 21 )

Interesting, I shall have to read this.



~Edit~
Have now read this, I enjoyed it and shall be waiting for more.

Hmm, you have some spelling errors I saw in there, but nothing too bad. Overall, I like this... I don't think I've ever read a Fae (that's how I spell it =P) story before...

However, I feel like her past wasn't really explored much. You didn't speak much about her at all. All I got from it was that she's a fae who no one likes, and she's at odds with her parents, which essentially forces her to banish herself. And she's thousands of years old? I feel like you could have explored that a little bit. Maybe this was intentional, and you are going to go ahead and give more info later, in which case alrighty then.

In any case, I am curious as to where you will take this. The pranks are certainly bound to be humorous at least.

Too early to say anything... waiting for the eventual contact with Pinkie Pie. Then it gets real.

That thousands of voices? That was bronies, my good fey. Bronies. Fluttershy fans. ....And if you touch her? They most certainly shall end you. Horribly. :pinkiecrazy:

571583 Thee are a lot of defferent ways of spelling Fay, Fey, Fai, Fae, etc. I chose Fay, because it was the closest to the original Latin word Faie .
And yes she is several thousand years old, but remember that the Fay are essentially Immortal, and can only die through murder or disease.
Yes, I will visit Callidus' (Cal's), history later in the story, I didn't really have enough room at the beginning because for a story to pass moderation you are supposed to be in Equestria/met some ponies by the end of the first chapter.

Can you let me know of the spelling mistakes?

Thanks for your feedback

-Eathlome

P.S. I hadn't decided on a gender for Cal yet, but I guess now she's female.

572155

Actually, ways they can die vary depending on your source. The Sidhe, whish are Fey of a sort, are very weak against cold iron. But old age is something that they are immune to.

572317 Thats the mythos Im using. Im going to mention the aversion to iron after an unfortunate encounter later in the story.

572155
Right, here's what I noticed...

Ch. 1:

-I then thrust the dagger into a near by wall,

nearby. There doesn't need to be a space there.

-"Hello, and goodby, strangers.

Goodbye, you mean? Unless that is a part of your dialect, in which case I can't fault you for it.

Ch. 2

-For the sake of you knowlage seekers

knowledge*

-There were allot of animals in the cottage

a lot* or alot*
allot means to assign something. "I will allot 10 minutes for writing." For example.

-exploring the near by town.

Same thing, nearby.

-I not evil, I just enjoy a good prank.

I'm* or I am*

- I figure that this tree is a good a place as any to make a house, so I started on carving myself out a few rooms in the upper level of the trunk, where nothing had been carved yet.

Use "figured". You switch tenses here otherwise. It's starts as present, and then changes into past. (Yes, this isn't a spelling mistake, but whatever. It's incorrect!)

- Enough for a a bedroom

Two "a"s here.

Also, you keep using "The Fay". Correct me if I'm wrong, but I don't think "the" needs to be capatilized.



Okay, now that the corrections are over with, time to address the other points. Yes, Fae can be spelled many different ways. I am completely alright with that. I personally spell it Fae simply because it is Faerie. Fae. It fits.

I am aware that Fae are essentially immortal, I simply thought that you could have explored her past a little. However, given what you explained there, I can understand starting it out this way.

And I assumed she was female because, well, in Ch. 1 when the Queen speaks she says "she". I assumed she was talking to Cal there... Also because whenever I think of Faeries all I can think of are cute, slightly devious little pixies, which of course aren't the only Fae, but it's what pops into my head first.

575185 Thanks, I'll have the errors fixed soon.

//Edit.

Fixed.

You pretty much nailed Twilight and Dash's reactions right on the head; heck, with a little tweaking this whole story could be adapted into a MLP:FIM special.

Two blueberries!? Oh I'm judging you so hard.

TWO BLUEBERRIES! Damn girl, you're gonna get fat there.

Some things I noticed:

-I let lose my ferocious spell,

loose*

-and was shaking her back and fourth.

forth*

-It was just in time to, a few minuted later

It was just in time too*, a few minutes* later

-I soon found her admits a floating collection of books about ancient and rare magics.

amidst* not admits

-Obsquere Magyx

Umm... Obsquere? Did you mean Obscure? And Magyx... well I can't say I've ever seen it spelled that way. Was that spelling intentional, or did you mean Magics/Magicks?

-I hit with a sleep spell as well,

I hit him with a sleep spell as well



Anyways, I think you did Twi's and Rainbow's reactions just fine. I like Cal's sense of humor... haha. I'm now dreading what she may do to Fluttershy or Pinkie. Fluttershy for obvious reasons, and Pinkie because... well Pinkie's my waifu. Even though she'll probably think it's hilarious.

What the hell are you even going to do to Pinkie anyway? How do you prank a pony that laughs at everything and would think your prank was hilarious? And probably congratulate you on it too... That would surprise Cal, I'll bet.

This is all assuming you even plan on going through with pranking all of them... lol.

579785 Alright, fixed it all up. I purposely misspelled obscure and magics just to give it a bit of an old English has funny spelling sort of feel.

And as for what will happen with Pinkie? I'll tell you that I'm glad that I'm not writing this as a self-insert. It's going to be ... interesting to say the least.

I am all for more mischievous little bas- I mean delightful folks of small stature.

Faerie in Equestira huh? Haven't really seen that before. I'll read this later, it looks interesting.

You asked for it...

-"It was I sign, on it read:"

I sign?

-"shouldn't have taken my that long to"

taken me* that

-"A white unicorn with a purple main was working"

purple mane*

-"had passed until she put everything and looked"

put everything where?

-"'everypony in ponyville?'"

Proper nouns. :twilightangry2:

-"'you think, your Twilight Sparkle,'"

you're*

-"'Actually it's you job to sign out books at the library, so I guess thinking is more o a hobby than a job.'"

your* of*
If it's supposed to be "more o a hobby" then you need an apostrophe, "more o' a hobby."

-"...If your laughing right now"

you're*

-"I had managed to loose them"

lose*

-"I decided to take a brake."

break*

-"I could feel it's light filling my with strength"

its* light filling me* with

-"Than faster than the eye could see, Luna lunged foreward and grabbed"

Then* forward*

-"heard from out sister that"

our*

OKAY! Now that my inner grammar nazi is satisfied, I can move on to praise!

Anyways, I do like this story quite a bit. Extra faeries would seem odd unless they were actual inhabitants of Equestria. If they were from Cal's world, well, I don't truly understand how they could get there. Of course, you could probably find some way to explain it. If you could, I would say go for it.

So, are Cal and Luna pals now? ehehe... Pinkie and Cal certainly will be... and maybe Dash for good measure.

575185
OK, I'll be sure to fix this up soon.

As for how more faeries can get to Equestria, just read the last line of the first chapter, that should explain it.

~Eathlome

//Edit

Fixed now.

Hey, how about later you have Cal meet the Equestrian equivelent to fairies, the Flutter Ponies (or Breezies as they're sometimes called)?

Mmmm, I don't see even as a child of king and queen fairy, that Cal could just pull power away from Luna. To me it seems that he shouldn't be that powerful, but it's your story.

1049137 She isn't pulling power from Luna. She's pulling power from the moon. The moon is controlled by Luna, but she isn't able to use its full strength. Cal is basically stealing the power that Luna isn't using.
I hope that this explains.

~Eathlome

More.

MUCH more.

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