- Member Since 4th Mar, 2016
- offline last seen 6 hours ago
Aura Chime
I am a unicorn mare who was born without the ability to speak. My specialty came about when trying to find my voice. I can create an aura of magic which vibrates with energy allowing me to speak.
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Look, I'm not trying to be an ass, but how is this any different from the legion of clones on this site?
8783506
Are you asking how is this any different from a specific story already published?
Or are you asking how is this different from all of the other HIE stories?
Also, I didn't want to set up this publication as of yet, but from what I read and understood of the 'Looking for editors' group they want a story on FiM linked when you ask for their help.
**** NO
Why did you kill off Skit?
I was looking forward to seeing Skit and Jason together.
The Queen made me do it.
Interesting. Although the other machines might get the data on simon now.
Alert! Alert! Nuclear launch protocols initiated!
Is she a changeling cuz he was trying to rape the guy in his sleep oh I can't wait for the next chapter I'm putting this on my favorite.
8806287
Glad you are enjoying the story so far.
I have been taking a break for the last few hours, and I will be working on more chapters here shortly.
Is Skit biped or quadruped?
8820565
She is a quadruped.
Ill read on, but quite frankly, you built up way too much time on Skitter just to kill her off. That's just...beyond sad. Not in a 'oh boo hoo, why did she die,' way, but in a 'why bother building a character like that just to kill them off for seemingly no reason,' sad.
So far, i dont see any need for it, and while dreading what will happen next, i will finish this story.
Okay, so Im definitely interested again after this chapter. I think I see why you did what you did, but its still kinda bugging me. (see what i did there?)
Edit: I was wrong. I really misread what you intended.
Okay, yeah. While im still sad about what happened to Skitter, im definitely interested in seeing what happens next. One question though. Why are there various words that dont really fit crossed out?
Oh i swear, if this one gets killed off too...
Okay, so Silk really isnt what she seems then. In what way though, i wonder...
Well thats...just a bit creepy and only mildly disturbing.
Uh...I don't really know what to say. It almost feels like everything leading up to this point meant nothing. The big bad? Never mentioned again beyond informing the royals of who was the problem. Skitter? Gone, and never avenged. No other romantic option explored. No real closure of any kind, or on any part. Celestia literally lets slavers sell sapient creatures at auction? Oh well, i guess all is forgiven cause i was a little rude to her. Magic? Nah, we just end before he can learn anything else, after getting bitched out for defending himself from being literally sold into slavery. Quite frankly, this doesn't even remotely feel close to an actual ending. It feels like a cliffhanger meant to segue into the next chapter, the only real exception being his vision of Skitter reassuring him.
Besides the random crossed out words, some spelling errors and improper word usage, this wasnt written badly. You have talent as an author, you just need to learn to pace your stories a bit better and expand on concepts that you have introduced. Perfect example being what happened to Skitter. It was never resolved or even touched on. That might actually be my biggest gripe about this story, to be honest. While spelling and grammar are important, a good story can still be portrayed well without that particular aspect being perfect. However, when you spend 25k+ words building a genuinely beautiful relationship between characters and then kill one off for no reason, thats not an ideal outcome, not even close. I highly enjoyed that part of the story, even if forces seemed to be conspiring againt Jason. At first, i assumed that Skitter's death was meant to push the character and the story along, using her death as a plot point to push him towards vengeance, or at the very least, pursuing the villain. Especially with how graphic and brutal her death was. However, that never happened. Its unresolved in more ways than one. Not only is this horribly evil creature still running around, probably killing and eating everything she can get her hooves on, but Jason doesn't make any attempt to stop her after Skit's death, despite him all but vowing to kill her. If setting this story to 'completed' was a mistake, or simply because you dont want to continue the story, then that's fine, but if this was always the intended end, then it just doesn't end well, both from a story perspective as well as a reader's point of view.
I'm still going to leave a thumbs up, if for no other reason than because I really enjoyed the first eight chapters or so, and while i really dont like how it ended, it still wasn't bad.
8935211
Self editing.
Didn't have anyone to help me edit and watch for stuff as I worked to write, and re-write.
When I can get things going again, I will see if it is possible to get someone to help me edit this story, clean it up, etc.
Thank you for enjoying the story.
Yeah, I get a lot of WTF's when it comes to Skitter.
I can't say what will happen until I can get it written out and posted, but it will take a while.
8935380
Thank you for taking the time to read this and offer your thoughts. It is appreciated.
I know it won't look good if I admit, no this was not the intended ending. There was meant to be more, but I couldn't bring myself to write more to inflate the story.
I didn't like the original ending I wrote, it was... Sh**.
I re-wrote it, and was afraid I was going to far off, so I had to curb my writing and intentions to try and take a breath and look to write things proper for the future where answers are meant to be explored.
Sorry I can't write more I am limited on my time for the time being.
Still, again, thank you.
8948465
Fair enough, i can definitely understand that. I dont mind taking the time to help where i can with authors. After all, how can we improve if we dont receive constructive criticism?
For real though, you're really good at writing romance. It felt completely genuine, and was really heartwarming. The interactions between Jason and Skitter were easily my favorite parts of the story, and im not the biggest romance person either, so that says a lot.
8949822
I must admit, that kind of comes as a bit of a surprise. I have not tried writing romance until I got on here on FiM.
Thank you.
There are moments when I write where characters tend to pop up out of nowhere. I tried explaining this to others who looked the story over and assumed I had only killed of Skitter cause I didn't know what to do with her. No. When I write a story, it is already done in my head, but sometimes there are twists and I don't mind it if it feels like it brings out more from the story. I actually LOVED Skit when I realized there was so much potential with her. I sat for several minutes fighting to keep from crying when I first realized what was going to happen, but when I looked ahead I realized there was still so much that could be done.
And now, I am giving up too much. :P
Sorry. Again, thank you.
Because everything tastes like chicken except the chicken... which tastes like fish.
I hate this chapter
Update?
I did not realize how long I had been away.
I owe you all an apology, and I don't blame you if you are upset.
But at any rate I just felt maybe if people had an active interest in this story then perhaps I could due with a dust off and another attempt at writing.
i hope he goes op and kills her
Chapter 6, I did not feel right about this chapter as I was trying to recycle some old writing for it. But after publishing it it just bothered me so I am going to take some extra time to look it over and see about what and where I can rework it and hopefully make it a better more imrpoved chapter and go from there.
Whoo, Chapter 8. Man, this was a long time coming. I wasn't sure for a little bit there how I was going to do this, but on my night off I found myself bored and decided to try to write a little bit. I had this chapter rolling around in my head for about a week, which is why I think I ended up with this chapter being a bit more solid and ... well, I shouldn't spoil things. Heh.
Enjoy,
Aura Chime
What are the chances that I put tags in, search by updated, and pick at random only to find out two chapters in that it's another one of yours? I'm enjoying what I read so far and am excited to get caught up.
11590974
Thank you, yeah I started to feel a little bit of something coming back and I was feeling restless if I didnt try to get something out. Glad you are enjoying my stories.
Aura Chime
11590976
I just noticed something else. It's may 22 2023 yet it says that the most recent chapter came out may 23 2023. Are you a time traveler?! Haha just kidding. I know that sites like these are far from perfect. That or your halfway across the world from where I am and it is the 23rd there.
8783645
Do you hate how he never replied to you?
11590980
Nawp, my time is 5/22/2023, Lol. Must be the site. If I were a time traveler I think I would have much more fun writing stories about things in history.
Aura Chime
11590983
Who never replied?
Whaaaa- alright read through your work before you post it, there's allot of tiny mistakes in this chapter.