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My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
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(look at cover art) Which element is the yellow one? I don't remember it from the Pokémon card game.
awesome!!
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i think thunder?
wait no it's light
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Well that good I found some one trying to do that on another site but took out a lot of what made it awesome so they just killed the excitement of it and I look forward to reading this
I'm a little confused about the MC's attitude towards the ponies and saying they are guilty of sins against him. I mean Don't Get Cocky's MC was a major misanthrope (to the point of being rediculous) but that made sense give his backstory. I don't really understand where this attitude is coming from.
So Shining armor is an asshole in this story too... Joy.
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1. He had a live full of loss and encountered several bad people in his live
2. With his Demon Senses he can literally feel the rottenness from this world and especially Canterlot
3.With his knowledge, he knows that sins make demons stronger and his inner Demon who may or may not will play its part one day
4.If Someone found out that he was a Nephalem then he couldn't just say "I was born part Demon and part Angle"
5.He choose a back story that was simular with his and other universes. He's now a Nephalem and has dead parents and a dead brother, so he took the original Nephalem story and the demon hunters past. He has spent many years alone with work and just collected money, so he changed to like in a few fictional universes that he can't control his power and he put a bit of dehaka in it. Lastly, he found a girlfriend who showed him the beauty of live, so he changed it to the omnic monk zenyatta and then went through a portal to a new world AKA the merchant.
6.Sorry if you like shinning armor, but I can't have a perfect world in this story or it would be boring and there are just too few male characters that play a more important part in the canon story from Mlp. But at least I won't make just all males jerks, because the will be a few bad females too like we already have seen
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It's not that I like Shining Armor I just greatly dislike when a character gets twisted to "Out of character" levels for no reason other than to create conflict. I mean if you need a villain just make an OC.
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Well I did write this in the short description. 'This is a rewrite/what if someone landen in a simular world as in the Don´t Get Cocky Faniction but with few different twists than the Original'
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oi you copied a few lines when darkness was meeting twilight sparkle
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I did take a few lines when they where meeting from the canon my little pony and yes I did take that part for her description, but there was no better way of describing her, but I don't think that Don't Get Cocky was the first fan fiction to describe like that. You have a good eye for details tho, not bad my fellow reader, not bad.
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and there's also some same copied lines that were copied 2 times when darkness meet twilight sparkle
that were copied twice in chapter 7
Wonderful
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And that's why I now have a editor... When he's back from his vacation.
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good
Would be a nice twist if Pinkie Pie was an amazing mathematician.
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That was the most random thing I ever heard, because you used two things that never have been associated together in any comment ever, are you sure that you are not secretly Pinky pie ?
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Nah, its just. On art she wears a shirt with pi symbol. And that pushed me to this conclusion.
Why the constant change between firs and third person? It's so confusing...
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Well, this is embarrassing
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Actually, the third person is the Narrator talking
More Plz
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soon. The next Chapter is almost finished and is already at 11.2k words.
not bad, going to keep up the narrator and protaganist interactions?
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You can bet on it
That was a epic read it held me from start to end.Ihope he makes a herd,I can't get enough of this story.
First you had Friend like me in this story. I love it. Then you had a asshole Shining Armor.. I love it. I will keep reading this story to see more.
Yes ma'am
Narrator"Your dungeon is full of yogurt."
Found the first one
Found one
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Thanks, it's really weird that some english words mean something completely different in german.
English German
spirit out of a bottle = Genie = a really smart person
Found one
Hope shining not a dick the whole time or just dies. Was hoping for the in don’t underestimate me lol
Esto se pone interesante
OK look.
The quality of writing has improved. Yay. Good job.
The content of writing has... Well OK. Our protagonist is OP. Cool. One Punch Man's entire shtick is a stupidly OP hero. The thing is it feels like I'm reading something meant to act as wish fulfillment for the author. What with every female wanting him, every male hating / envying him, etc. etc. Really it most comes out though in that every time he does something (very nearly every SINGLE time) it all comes out as 'look how great
I amMathael is!" Especially how he has to make every scene about himself.You are not this person. You will never be this person. No one is ever going to think of you as this person. With that out of the way, approach him as a character in his own right rather than saying to yourself "It would be awesome if I could do ...."
That out of the way, this is better than the earlier chapters, and your next story (or later parts of this one perhaps) will probablybe much much better.
I feel that the author wanted It to be a comedy genre as well but was stopped
Wouldnt it make sense for Cely to control the stars? Sense you know... since star ARE suns?
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As far as I know, most ponies can only do anything extraordinary within their cutie mark. For Luna/Nightmare Moon, its the Night, the stars, the Moon, and the dream realm. Celestia, on the other hand, can only move THE Sun that decides the time of day while moving the moon must've been a more tedious task as it was not her 'Realm.' Of course, we don't know if in the MLP universe, if the sun is small and just close or if the stars in the sky are just tiny and nearby orbs of light.