This was a strange sky. An unfamiliar horizon with no landmarks to guide the way. No sun or moon to be seen, nor stars to follow. There was only the unknown, and that was terrifying. His daredevil nature abandoned him here, as there were no smokestacks to slalom, no urban canyons to blast through at breakneck speeds. This place brought out his cautious, careful nature, and it was forced to rapidly mature, to make up for lost time and stunted growth.
It was so late now that Owlister slept the nourishing sleep of innocents and babes everywhere. She slept with her feathered head against Geiger Tiger’s side, occasionally hooting whilst she dreamt. Turmeric had cranked back the steel cover over the skylight, and now the night imparted its majesty upon them all as they wrestled with their difficult decision—though it could be said that some wrestled more than others.
Rustic was of a mind that the world was a place where business was conducted, and business, in all of it’s myriad of forms, was the very thing that caused civilisation to flourish. He might very well be right; Sundance didn’t know enough about the subject to refute it, but there could be no arguing that Rustic was successful in his ventures. Over time, his argument became simpler and simpler; too many creatures did business the wrong way, and it was time to show the world that good things could be done with better business practices.
“You know,” Paradox began, “there’s somepony that we could be talking to about this… though perhaps not tonight. But I mean after we’ve committed ourselves to this. There’s a brave pony that’s already forged ahead, in a sense. I mean, there’s a different scale involved, and different ends, different goals, but that doesn’t stop us from learning whatever we might learn.”
“I’m listening,” Sundance said in response.
“Applejack,” Paradox said matter-of-factly. “My parents did some work for her to help them get started in Ponyville. I spent a lot of time in that orchard. Got bonked on the head by an apple once and it gave me weird ideas about gravity. Applejack told me that the same thing happened to her when I told her about it.
“So, anyhow… Applejack runs Sweet Apple Acres, which is a corporate charity. In a sense. She’s Twilight Sparkle’s primary financier, for when Twilight wants to do one of her many pet projects, but doesn’t want the Treasury Department to send an elite team of assassins after her—”
“Assassins?” aked Turmeric.
“It’s a joke after what happened in Las Pegasus,” Paradox replied. “Applejack, as a corporate entity, functions as a charity. Sort of like the companies that make the princess and prince pops and the toymakers. Sundance” —she turned to him suddenly— “you could go and talk to her. I’m sure that she’d have some advice on what to do, how to do it, and from there, we can find our own way, because let’s face it; nopony is doing what we’re doing. We’re on our own here.”
“Assassins?” Turmeric sat there, somewhat startled and uncertain.
“The worst sin a public official can commit is to spend money,” Paradox said, her words weary and somewhat slurred from fatigue. “The Treasury Department would very much like their funds to build up and become impressive imaginary numbers. Twilight Sparkle likes to spend government funds with abandon. Ponies say the era of financial conservation and fiscal responsibility are over, and that Twilight is the harbinger of the end. Even if you don’t like her spending practices, it cannot be denied that she is getting some results. Sorta. Sometimes. They’re not the sort of results that happen overnight, so they’re the sort of results that ponies like to claim don’t matter.”
“How do you know all this stuff?” asked Rustic.
“I paid attention when Princess Celestia taught civics class and social studies,” Paradox replied.
“Oh.” Rustic nodded. “That makes sense. Princess Celestia reassuring the new generation that everything’s just fine and that the old generation—”
“Needs to sit down and shut up,” Paradox said to Rustic.
“She said that?”
“Yup.”
“She, uh, has a lot of faith in her little ponies, doesn’t she?” asked Turmeric. Before anypony could respond, he answered his own question by pointing at Sundance and saying, “I mean, just look at what she did with him. As I go over things in my mind, I’m starting to see the wisdom of it, I think. Not that I’ll ever be as wise or as smart as Princess Celestia. But Sundance here, he’s not a political critter. He doesn’t have good political hygiene, or practices, and such. He doesn’t believe that money shouldn’t be spent. Sundance wasn’t raised to be a career politician and his head wasn’t gunked up with the old ways of doing things.”
These words made Sundance feel immeasurably better.
“It goes back to what I said about tradition and custom. Repeating the mistakes that we’re familiar with. Sundance is going to make a whole bunch of new mistakes, and we’re going to make those mistakes with him. Everypony is going to tell us that we’re wrong. Which is going to make learning from these new mistakes difficult.” While she spoke, Paradox began to pace, and trotted along the length of the room. “A more traditionally-minded pony would never do this in the first place. They’d hold on to the old ways that are time-tested and proven—which can offer results, I won’t deny that. But we have a chance to do something better… bigger.”
“A lot of lives hang in the balance,” Corduroy remarked. “Mistakes are bad enough when you face the consequences yourself, but to drag others in…”
“Changing your position, Corduroy?” asked Rustic.
“No.” The diamond dog nurse offered up a dismissive wave of her paw. “I’m more committed to this course of action than ever. Just reminding myself that others are going to pay for any mistakes I make. Seems like the right thing to do, you know? Mister Teapot told me that when I’m in doubt and don’t know what to do, think of others. Even if I can’t help myself, I can always help others, and that might help me in unexpected ways.”
Sundance too, found himself pacing. He could not recall when he’d stood up, nor could he remember when he started, but he found himself moving opposite of Paradox. When she went right, he went left, and they passed one another in the middle of the room, where a pile of papers awaited signatures. Paradox was not the skittish, anxiety-riddled young mare that he knew—at least not at this moment. She was thoughtful, purposeful, with fierce intelligence in her eyes. Paradox and Corduroy were his smarts, no doubting that. Going forward, he would depend upon them more and more, and he found himself in unfamiliar territory.
“What I am about to say is to be kept secret,” Sundance said to his friends. “You’re my advisors, so I suppose it must be alright for me to discuss this with you. This is just something to consider as we go forward with this thing we’re doing. It is going to call a lot of attention to us, I think… and that… well…” At a loss for words, he gave up and started over, because he’d flubbed his sentence in some awful way.
“Princess Celestia asked me to help the changelings. I know very little about the details, but these changelings can breed. The last elements of Queen Chrysalis’ cruel slavery has been dealt with. But they’ll be staying here… I told Princess Celestia that I’d be happy to give them their own plot of land so that they can start a new hive, or colony, or whatever it is that changelings do. I’m not sure how this influences our decisions going forward, but whatever it is that we do, we’ll be calling attention to this fact. If we draw attention to ourselves, we’ll draw attention to them.”
“I think you mean that they’ll draw attention to us,” Paradox said whilst she passed. “Protecting them will be paramount. Extinction is an ugly word.”
“It’s strange,” Sundance said as he began to think aloud, “but failure feels a lot scarier now. I’ve invested myself into this place. There’s all this new construction. New houses. This gatehouse. We have an infirmary now, and laundry, and… stuff.” He said this last word with strange emphasis, because so many things had to be covered by just one word, too many things to list.
“Feels riskier, you know? I started off with very little… and now, there’s stuff. So much stuff. And taking risks with nothing is easy to do. But risking your stuff...”
“You want assurance against risk?” Turmeric shook his head. “Can’t be done. Risk is the nature of things. That’s why life is risky.”
“No”—Sundance shook his head as well—“I’m not asking for that, just acknowledging that it’s there, I suppose. Or maybe I do seek assurance. Anyhow, I’m having an idea, and I think I might be willing to agree to all of this, but I have a condition.”
To which Rustic said, “Well, spit it out, Flyboy.”
“Nuance needs to have a share in this.” Sundance pointed to the papers on the floor. “I want Nuance to have a share in what we’re doing.”
“He’s a colt, Sundance,” was Rustic’s reply.
“He’s also the reason I have all that I have right now. He found his mark here, or maybe his mark found him here… he found himself. Came into his own. He’s tied to this place, just as I am. Plus… plus”—Sundance had to think of what to say and how to say it—“it will be good for us. Princess Celestia won’t tolerate even a whiff of scandal when it comes to her son. If he’s involved, we’ll be all the more motivated to keep things on the level.”
Paradox nodded. “This is a good idea. Princess Celestia might subtly give us clues about big mistakes before we make them. But I don’t know if I like the idea of using Nuance as a hostage—”
“I never said hostage!” Sundance blurted out.
“Well, what else is he in this situation?” asked Paradox.
“Not a hostage!” Sundance replied as he came to a full halt. “An associate. A partner. We’re not including him to exploit him… I was just saying that we might have a bit more motivation to do things right!”
“This is actually a great idea.” Rustic had a shrewd look in his eyes that Sundance wasn’t sure that he liked. “If we do well, Nuance prospers. If we do poorly…” He allowed the imagined consequences to haunt them, like insubstantial phantoms that lurked in the shadows. “Sundance is right though. Nuance will be like a sort of moral canary in the coal mine. We’ll all do our very best to protect him. Perhaps more than we might do to protect ourselves. We’ll weigh our risks with a bit more caution.”
“Hostage is an ugly word too…” Corduroy held her paws together, and tented her paw-fingers. “Involuntary asset holding sounds nicer—”
“Corduroy!” Turmeric’s mouth hung open, aghast.
“Sanitised language,” she said whilst she offered up a half-shrug. “Just thinking like a business-doggy.”
“Turmeric, I do believe that was a joke. You know, something to lighten the mood.”
“It’s a bad joke, Rustic. Now my heart is in my throat.”
Turning about, Sundance studied his nurse and tried to read her canine face. She was tired, her face was far more droopier than usual, and her eyes were lined with crimson. No sign of a smirk, but there was something about her ears, perhaps… yes, her ears. She was somehow smirking with her ears, he decided, and he felt proud that he’d made the distinction. In the future, he’d spend more time checking out Corduroy’s ears, because just like pony ears, they could speak whole volumes.
“It’s almost midnight.” Paradox covered her mouth with her hoof, yawned, and then said, “Excuse me. It has been a long, long day. We’re all exhausted. Have we reached any sort of consensus? Near as I can tell, Sundance is the holdout.” She brought her gaze to bear upon him, and then stood there, waiting for him to respond.
“If we do this, what happens tomorrow?” asked Corduroy.
After covering up his own yawn, Rustic replied, “We all fly back to Canterlot… each and every one of us… you too, Corduroy. We maybe try to perfume ourselves, make ourselves presentable, and we go and meet with the anonymous investors representatives. Which, from what I understand, are a bunch of accountants and lawyers. Nice ponies, warmer than you might expect, and chatty. We sign some papers, accept the investment, agree to terms, and then Sunfire Barony becomes Sunfire Incorporated. Or whatever it is Sundance decides to call it. Which means we all need to sort out our positions in this venture.”
“I only ever wanted to become a wizard,” Paradox said as she sat down on the floor beside Geiger Tiger and Owlister. “Never planned to become a corporate-whatever. Chief Magical Officer? Is that even a thing?”
“It is now,” Rustic replied. “You’re best suited to handle our magical affairs… whatever those might be. Corduroy… unless I am mistaken, I do believe that you are Sundance’s seneschal. Not sure how that translates into a corporate position.”
“My what? Help?”
“Major-domo,” Rustic said. “The Lord’s most trusted steward and advisor.”
“Oh.” Sundance made himself relax a bit.
“Chief Officer of Arcane Affairs sounds better—”
“Oh, it does, Turmeric!” Paradox’s voice was shrill with excitement. “But it also sounds wrong in some way. Like the words are out of order, or something.”
Unable to respond beyond a shrug, Turmeric yawned instead.
“No more debt,” Sundance said. “A clean slate.” He turned to look at Rustic. “You risked everything to give me a chance… you didn’t even give me a chance to tell you no… you just ran in and saved me.”
“We’re not out of this yet, friend.” Mustache sagging, Rustic cleared his throat and shook his head. “I put it all on the line because I needed to believe that sincerity still existed in the world. Everything got kind of numb. When everything has gone dead, you jump at the chance to feel again.”
His friend’s words left an impossibly large lump in his throat, and Sundance’s eyes stung something awful. It was time… to commit. “Sunfire Incorporated. A business founded on the principles of friendship. I hope I’m worthy.”
“I hope we’re worthy,” said Turmeric. “None of this is for our own gain. We’re doing this for the betterment of this place, and all who live here.”
“Princess Celestia said she started a nation here… it was from here that she rebuilt Equestria after all she had known fell into ruin.” Sundance took a long moment to consider his words before he continued: “Where she once founded a nation, we’re founding a business. A corporation. We’re trying a new way to do things. We’re retreading her steps, but in a new, novel way.
“I fully commit myself to this.” He smiled and bowed his head.
“Good,” Rustic replied. “Sleep now. Come morning, papers.”
“Everything changes tomorrow…” Sundance’s words trailed off into a low sigh.
Though still uncertain, Sundance trusted in his friends to see him through…
You really have a rare skill to guide someone to loving a story and becoming invested in the words that create these characters and their lives.
house of the rising sunflower
Wait, Sundance has a magic stare? When did you put that in? Was it even in this storyline?
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His mother does...
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Damn, I don't remember that at all.
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Officer Mom stops all crime.
i am so happy that Sundance is doing.
i can't wait to see the new story arc this is going to be so good.
Well, summer's a great time for some sun. Looking forward to where we skip to next!
Here we are in the future~ 🎶
Looking forward to the next arc, and beyond!
So, I think now is a good time for me to set this down for a while, seeing as this is apparently the end of a part and there's a time skip. (Though, to be honest, I would have liked to see a bit more of that current situation fleshed out before then)
As I've said, this is a very interesting story with an interesting premise that has a lot to be worked with, and is decently written. I'm enjoying the vaguely video game like nature of problems coming on and he has to solve them in these clever ways, a bit like Mass Effect where you get the crew and the missions and the ship, or a dark room where new villagers keep showing up and The Stranger keeps saying she can build you new things, or Sim City... maybe it's like Sim Barony? Heh. In any case, it pulls that off a lot better than most stories that feel like video game plots: I'm always intrigued to see new problems arising, and excited to see what sort of interesting solution they will find for it.
That said, I do feel like some of these plot elements come out of nowhere and don't necessarily fit in the narrative. It's very packed with a lot of things, and sometimes, when a new problem arises, I start to get a little overwhelmed: I feel like the story might be loaded down with a little too many problems, especially when it feels like Celestia is setting him up to be overwhelmed and fail. Then there are elements that just don't seem to even be relevant, like the crystal tree: I'm still not sure that serves any purpose in the narrative that couldn't be done better without it, and it feels like just more baggage. Other than that though, It's not an issue of any particular thing being poorly written, just that the story has gotten so dense with things that are happening, and it feels like it's not taking enough time on any one thing for it to ever be resolved.
I will say, there was a massive missed opportunity in terms of the debt thing. I mean, I was very interested in seeing how they were going to negotiate that, seeing how Celestia might pressure the banks, seeing this sort of arguments they might get into over the reasonability of a bank lending such a huge amount of money to someone who will never pay it back. It made me wonder if there was a plan or an angle, or simply fraud or mismanagement. Alas, that was settled off screen while a million other things were going on: as writers, we often have to choose what is or isn't a main part of the narrative, and sometimes those things don't particularly interest us, but when that happens, it can leave a hole in the story. I'm thinking if you were going to resolve the debt situation like this, with a couple deals being made off screen, perhaps you should have toned down them talking about it.
Anyway, I don't want to ramble on too long. I find the story interesting and the premise to have a lot that can be done with it. I see that it hasn't been updated in a little over 2 years, so I will probably set it down for a while just to hold off that point where I hit the bleeding edge.
I hope that you, as the author, pick this back up at some point, at least try to give it some sort of resolution. It's always a shame when a big epic like this goes incomplete.
(...speaking of, I really need to get back to my own one...)