• Published 11th Jan 2018
  • 6,251 Views, 4,649 Comments

House of the Rising Sunflower - kudzuhaiku



Hard work is its own reward, and competence can be one's ultimate undoing.

  • ...
28
 4,649
 6,251

PreviousChapters Next
When you find what what should be forgotten

A large section of the outer ring of the beaver fortress was destroyed, but the inner sections survived. Circling, almost gliding, Sundance had his eyes on the ground—and not so much on the sky. With much of the outermost ring in shambles, more water flowed down into the fertile lands, and a lot less water flowed into the yawning chasm, where it just disappeared, never to be seen again. He wanted a good look inside of that cave, which was more than large enough to fly into, though not with a sky truck and passengers.

The Crags were a mess, with everything covered in black dirt and glistening black mud. Some of the Crags were flooded, and Sundance wondered just how much new black dirt would end up down in the orchard ravine because of this. When farmed, fields had to lie fallow so that the earth could recover, unless of course regular flooding deposited fresh new topsoil. While he barely understood these concepts of farming, he was able to grasp their importance.

For all he knew, these flowing waters might've been the barony's secret to success.

"Paradox… Let's try to take out the western side this time, so more water flows away from the gulp hole—"

"The gulp hole, Sundance?"

"Well, what else shall we call it?"

"Gulp Hole it is!" Hennessy shouted.

"Both of you are horrible ponies!" Paradox told her companions.

"We'll remove what's left of the outer barriers and open up the next section," Sundance said. "Though I must say, I'm tempted to just have it all torn down today."

"A controlled reintroduction might be better, but I really don't know," Paradox said in response.

"There are gaps in the pine… over to our direct east. This is all dense forest. These gaps don't seem right. Something seems off somehow. After we've blown up the dam, we should head over that way to have a better look. It's probably nothing, but my gut tells me we should have a better look."

"We'll do, Hennessy," replied Sundance. "Paradox, I'm going to come around and align myself for the dam-buster run. Be ready."

"I'm ready already!"


For the second time, things did not go as planned, and a far-larger section of beaver dam collapsed than intended. Once the water began to flow, more and more bits and pieces broke away, which only released even more water, and this continued as a sort of vicious cycle. As Sundance circled overhead, a tremendous section of the outer dam along the western edge of the land shelf was washed away into the Crags, and this in turn caused larger pieces of the inner barrier to get torn away.

It was spectacular to watch as this calamitous failure happened. The flow of the water changed significantly and a raging muddy-brown torrent washed down into the Crags. On the other side of the shelf, hardly any water flowed down into the Gulp Hole, and Sundance saw this as a good sign. He had no idea where all that water went down there—probably into an underground river or a cistern—but he needed it up here.

Watching as the flood took on a life of its own made him think about how his barony seemed to be doing the same thing. Little events led to larger events. The barriers were coming down, which in turn, caused other obstructions to crumble. Life was returning. Now, more than ever, he had to be careful. His choices had consequences, both good and ill. His actions would have far-reaching effects, and he was more aware of that now than ever.


Certain things seemed out of place in nature, such as perfectly straight lines. Down below them, running from west to east, was a perfectly straight line, a narrow gap that barely existed between the pines. It was hard to see at first, almost impossible to spot from above, until one flew directly over it and was able to look down. Some sort of paved road could be seen, or at least the evidence of what might have once been a road. If the ruins scattered over the Crags had once been some structure, then this road ran due east of it. What could possibly exist in these overgrown woods? There was no sign of ruins, no sign of a settlement.

The line between the pines was straight, remarkably level, and the more Sundance saw of it, the more certain he became that it was made, not natural. It had to be paved, or cobblestoned, or something, because only small plants grew along its lengths—and not trees. Following the mysterious line filled Sundance with an exciting sense of discovery, and he could not help but wonder what purpose this road once served.

So intent was he on sorting out this mystery that he hardly thought of his grandmother.

If he stayed directly above the gap in the trees and looked straight down, he could see that the road stretched for several miles ahead. If one flew overhead from say, north to south, one might miss it completely. Even if one flew from west to east as he did right now, one might still miss it, unless one flew in perfect parallel view from directly above. The pines had crowded in and their needly boughs formed a protective barrier that kept the ancient road hidden.

Surely it had to be an ancient road—Sundance was convinced of that now.

"Over there," Hennesy said. "Sundance, to your left. There's an off-path."

"There is?" asked Sundance. "I don't see it."

"Trust me, there is. And I think I see something else, but I'm not sure what. Go left, Sundance."

"Sure thing, Hennessy, but we're right up against the base of the mountain. If there's a path, it'll be a steep slope soon enough. That's almost a sheer cliff over there."

Following Hennesy's instructions, Sundance veered left and then began to scan the sea of green pines below him. There was precious little room between the overgrown old road and the side of the mountain, though there was probably more than he realised due to looking down upon it from high above. At first, he saw nothing out of place, but then he noticed the break in the endless green. After a bit of banking and correction, he had himself aligned just so and sure enough, there was a narrow path below, all overgrown and swallowed up by the forest.

Then, he saw it. Nestled amongst the sentinel pines, there was a structure that jutted out from the steep sides of the mountain's foundations. White stone could be seen between boughs of evergreen. The glorious scent of hot pine only made this discovery even more exhilarating, and Sundance was almost overcome by the sheer thrill of this magical moment. But as he tried to get a better look at whatever it was that he'd found, he became dismayed by the fact that it was too obscured.

He would have to land.

The ancient road would be his runway.


Paradox Sunflower spat out a mouthful of pine needles, and then spat out a few more. Then, after she stuck her tongue out, she spat out even more pine needles, all while giving Sundance the darkest of looks. As for Sundance himself, he had pine needles in his wings, his mane, and stuck to his tail. He was rather sticky and didn't want to think about how many feathers he might lose when he tried to scrub off the sap stuck to his wings.

"Crashing was not on the agenda for today," Paradox said, and then punctuated her terse outburst with more spitting.

"That was no crash, we walked away from it," Sundance said. "If you hadn't screamed, you might not have a mouthful of pine needles right now."

Whipping her head about, Paradox focused her incendiary glower upon Sundance—but her moment of fury was made less-so when she used her tongue to lick away a pine needle stuck to her lip, which she promptly spat out. Sundance reconsidered; she'd called it a crash, he called it a landing. It was really just semantics. The ancient cobblestone roadway was covered with old pine needles and debris, which made it quite slippery. It was rather like landing on sheet ice, which really wasn't a problem. Anypony could land on sheet ice—but stopping was the real trick.

Thankfully, some kind and friendly trees helped to arrest his forward momentum.

With an air of solemn dignity, Hennessy silently brushed himself off, failed miserably to remove the pine needles from his pelt, and then he let go a sigh of resignation. Sundance admired Hennessy's stoicism, but he couldn't help but wonder if the quiet earth pony might just be a little bit annoyed with him. They were friends, surely there would be forgiveness—though Sundance was prepared to ask for it if it became necessary to do so.

"I have come to the conclusion that I don't like nature," Paradox announced. "Nature is sticky, it tastes bad, and it—oh it's in my tail!"

"No one is hurt," Hennessy deadpanned.

"I got stabbed in my tongue!" shouted Paradox.

"Correction: nopony is seriously hurt." Turning his head about, Hennessy had a good look at his own tail, and seemed dismayed by what he saw. "Well, now I have two phrases that will forever chill my blood. When Piper announces that she has a cunning plan, and when Sundance says he's going to attempt a landing. At least Flicker is mostly silent when he tries to get us all killed."

Thoroughly miffed, Sundance made his feelings known: "I thought my landing was pretty good. I had a narrow approach… so narrow, in fact, that I couldn't keep my wings fully spread—"

"To me, that seems like a good indicator that it is time to abort!"

Paradox had a point, though Sundance was loathe to admit it.

"Well, since we're here, let's take that path north and see what we can find," Hennessy suggested to his companions. "Sundance, you might have landed under adverse conditions, but that doesn't change the fact that you're a bonehead for attempting it. I saw my life flash before my eyes, and I've done a lot less dancing than I'd like."

Ears drooping, Sundance cast a glance at the sky truck, and then began to trudge north.


What were once massive wooden doors were now little more than a heap of fungus-ridden debris. The white stone arch was intact, but covered in moss and lichen. A curiously cool breeze wafted out of the darkness beyond the arch and Sundance squinted to see anything beyond where the light was swallowed up in shadow. Hennessy appeared to be studying the fallen doors, while Paradox stared up at the keystone at the top of the arch.

"Look," she said, "it's hard to see, and half covered in green fuzz, but you can see Princess Celestia's sun-mark."

Though he had to wait for his eyes to adjust and focus, Sundance saw it too.

Hennessy stepped around the rotten wood, mindful of his every movement, and then stood within the arched doorway itself. "I should probably put my mask on to see, but I want to see things as they are."

To banish the darkness, Paradox ignited her horn and then joined Hennessy in the doorway. Sundance moved to follow and then stepped past his friends so that he might take the lead. After the exciting landing, getting gobbled first was the least he could do. A long wide hallway stretched before them, a place where light had not shone for who knows how long. The floor sloped down at a gentle angle, suggesting that whatever was ahead rested in the bowels of the mountain, which filled Sundance with dreadful hesitation.

"Look at that," Hennessy whispered.

Sundance turned as Paradox shone her light upon the wall. There was a tile mosaic of Princess Celestia, faded and timeworn. Slime and lichen filled the cracks between the bits of tile, but the white alicorn was quite recognisable—though she was incredibly fat. No, not fat, Sundance realised, but pregnant. The jagged puzzle Celestia was pregnant and she held out one hoof, which pointed down the hallway. An exceptionally large sun could be seen on her oversized posteriour—no, not a sun. A half-sun, half-moon. There was a lot of mildew and goo obstructing the mark.

"That is not a flattering representation," Paradox said to the others.

"Grandmother has been dieting—"

"Sundance, don't say that, you dope!" The light from Paradox's horn flickered as she whirled to face him. "This is some sort of temple, I'm sure of it. Be respectful!" Her voice echoed down the hallway, a nagging repeated reminder to be respectful.

When Hennessy dared to chortle, Paradox turned her glower power upon him.

"She's inviting us in," Sundance said as he pointed in the same direction that Celestia did. "Let's have a look around. But be careful. Watch where you step."


It was blessedly cool down in the depths. Critters scurried away from Paradox's light and the sounds of claws on stone sent shivers down Sundance's spine. At the end of the entrance hall was a round chamber, and in the middle of the chamber was a statue of Princess Celestia—also incredibly rotund. Sundance studied her pear-shaped body with much fascination. Beneath the statue was a basin, which was filled with litter and dust.

"She has teats," Sundance announced.

"Of course Princess Celestia has teats," Paradox muttered. "This is a blessing pool. Water once flowed from"—she paused and her voice lowered—"water once flowed from her teats and filled the pool. It was for anointing."

"Paradox, how exactly would you know that?" asked Sundance.

"I read about it in a book," she replied as she turned her face away from him.

"So ponies once came to bathe in Princess Celestia's teat-water—"

"Hennessy, would you please be respectful of the female form?"

"I'm sorry." The earth pony bowed his head. "I suppose this is a sacred place."

"It was, once." Paradox began to look around, and then craned her head to look at another mosaic on the wall.

This one also depicted a gravid Princess Celestia, and she was surrounded by a multitude of little ponies—all of whom seemed to be engaged in some manner of orchestrated orgy. As the light revealed every sordid detail, a faint wheeze could be heard from Paradox, and Sundance's cheeks grew warm. Princess Celestia's eyes were open, blazing with fire, and her wings were tremendously oversized. Right near her hooves, a pile of little ponies were in the act of plural coitus.

Then, the image went dark as Paradox backed away.

"There is strange magic here," Paradox said. "I can sense it on the edges of my perception. It is powerful. Strange. Different. Perhaps an artifact was left behind. We must find it. Dangerous things sometimes are left in old ruins, things that should not be forgotten."

Something about Paradox seemed off, and Sundance knew that she wasn't well. But who was he to judge? At the moment, she seemed content to pretend that nothing was wrong, and so was he. If he didn't have to think about his dead grandmother, then Paradox didn't have to confront that she was terrified of sex and stuck in a fertility temple. Her bravery turned him solemn, and he no longer felt the need to crack wise.

"Follow me," she said as she flashed her light down another hallway.


Tiny bones littered the hallway and crunched underhoof. Wads of hair collected in corners and the sheer number of owl pellets present stupefied Sundance, who could not make sense of everything. There was light ahead, which seemed dangerous and a little scary, because they were underground. Not just underground, but under a mountain. Just thinking about it left him feeling a bit sweaty and out of sorts.

The hallway, which sloped downward and curved slightly, opened up into another chamber, this one round just like the last. Sunlight speared down from an opening in the ceiling. Green things grew from the cracks in the floor and there was a puddle of sludge in the sundered stones. The stench of old mildew mixed with green rot and warm vegetation. There were stone benches here, and owls, who seemed annoyed about the intrusion.

That explained the owl pellets.

"We're close," Paradox whispered. "Do you feel it?"

"I feel something," replied Hennessy, "though I know not what."

Annoyed, the owls hooted their displeasure.

As if guided by some unseen force, Paradox led the way, much to Sundance's concern. She made her way through the circular chamber, avoided the pool of sludge in the middle, and then stopped when she reached an arched door on the other side. Beyond the door was another room, and light. How the sunlight snuck past the pines was a mystery, but Sundance was grateful for the light.

When Paradox went through the door, he followed.


The second room was shaped a bit like a kidney bean and like the first, had a shaft for sunlight. This room was also a mess and occupied by owls. There were raised stone platforms arranged in neat, orderly rows, and on the far side of the room there was an ornate stone basin. From within the basin, the trickle of water could be heard. The air wasn't stinky, putrid, or foul, but rather, perfumed and sweet. Sundance found that he wanted to be here, it was inviting.

Hennessy paused to examine a raised stone platform, which was about the same size as a bed. Meanwhile, Sundance pushed past so that he could have a better look at the basin. His hooves clip-clopped against the stone stairs, and upon reaching the landing, he looked down into the pool of water, only to find that it was remarkably clean. No filth existed in the pool, no scum, no slime, no bones, it was just clean, pure water.

Inviting, clean, sparkling water that he very much wanted a drink of. His mouth had gone dry and the insides of his cheeks stuck to his molars in the most annoying way. The fragrant air left him lightheaded and just a little bit woozy. Sundance saw his reflection in the water and what a handsome stallion he was. He turned this way, and that way, angled his head just so, and even extended his wings just a little bit. Yes, he was handsome. Irresistible even. And the sight of himself made him thirsty—so thirsty.

"Get away from that pool, Sundance!"

Paradox's voice was quite alluring. Attractive even. Inviting. Almost as much as the water where his reflection beckoned. When he did not move away from the basin, he was seized by a powerful intangible force and dragged away. He flapped his wings, dug in his hooves, and tried to catch a final glimpse of himself in the water, but he was unceremoniously dragged down the stairs.

He really wanted a drink.

Then, quite suddenly, his head cleared and his thoughts returned to him. He was still thirsty, but he became vaguely aware that something about himself was off. Paradox had cast a spell on him—he was sure of that—and befuddled as he was, he had no idea what was going on. The pool beckoned, his reflection was still up there waiting, but the overwhelming urge had lessened. He blinked, rubbed his head with his wing, and then gave himself a hearty shake.

"It's a lust pool," Paradox said. "You drink that and you'll become a sex-crazed maniac."

Upon hearing this, Sundance warily eyeballed the basin full of water.

"Lust pools cause magical fertility," Paradox continued in a studious but terrified tone. "Princess Celestia must have used it… for what it does. Any pony that drinks from that… any creature… well, this explains the downright unusual number of hybrid crossbreeds around here."

"These are beds," Hennessy said as he backed away from the stone platform he stood next to.

"We've found Princess Celestia's sex dungeon," Sundance remarked.

"We have," Paradox agreed.

"So the owls that live down here have been, uh, getting busy with any animals that just happen to come wandering in and have a drink." At the moment, Sundance couldn't tell if he were scared and stupid, or just plain stupid. He spent a moment trying to collect his thoughts, but everything became all the more jumbled. "We should get out of Princess Celestia's sex dungeon."

Paradox nodded. "We should. It would be wise."

"How does an owl and a bear—"

"Hennessy"—Paradox's voice was strained—"it is best if we do not dwell on such things. At least not here, in this place. Come… we should go."

"Do you think Discord is responsible for pools like these?" asked Hennessy.

"Now is not the time." There was real panic in Paradox's voice. "Please, can we go? I do not want to be in this room with two stallions right now. Need I explain why?"

"Come on, Hennessy. Let's get Paradox outside. I think we could all use some fresh air."

"Right, Sundance. Outside. We should be going." Head low, ears back, Hennessy headed for the door.

Sundance cast one final glance at the stone basin, and then he too, followed his friends out.

Author's Note:

Yes, before you ask, Sundance will go spelunking into the Gulp Hole. It is central to the end of this story.

PreviousChapters Next