Talk over tea
“Mama, it smells—”
“Shut it, Amber.” Hollyhock shot her daughter a dark look to silence her.
“But Mama, it smells bad—”
“Yes, I know. This is our life now. Deal with it!” Realising she had lost her patience, the mare’s ears drooped and a guilty expression crept over her face while her daughter shied away.
Cucumber, saying nothing at all, refilled Hollyhock’s teacup. Sundance, in a thoughtful mood, thought about everything that Hollyhock had just said, the story that she had shared. A more detailed version of what she had told to him upon their first meeting. Some interesting details had been revealed, including the fact that Hollyhock’s cutie mark played some small role in everything that had happened. A most curious cutie mark indeed; two hearts, one smaller, one larger, and it had appeared on the day when a young, idealistic Hollyhock decided that what she wanted to do more than anything else in life was to be a mother.
Now, she was a mother with no means to care for herself.
“So let me get this straight… for my own sake.” Hollyhock’s eyes lept from pony to pony as she studied their faces. “There’s no money here. No rent. No paying for food. Everything is just sort of… there?”
“Currency is wholly evil, so it is. It corrupts the common pony, turns them bad. Brings out the worst in them. I saw that with the Separatists. The common pony has no business dealing with coin.” Cucumber set down the teapot, his gaze grew distant, and his expression became one of pain. “I’ve seen many laid low by lust for coin. In my life, and what a long life it’s been, I’ve watched good ponies turn bad ‘cause of greed and I’ve seen bad ponies turn worse, so I have.”
“Like the previous Milord, Cucumber?” Sundance asked, already knowing the answer.
The old retainer scowled. “The Milord has to be a special sort. He… he’s got to have moral fibre to face this evil, so the rest of us don’t have to. Us common ponies… this is not an evil we can face. It’s bad for us. A good Milord shields us… protects us from the corrupting influence of coin, while somehow resisting it himself. Not every Milord does so. But somepony has to take care of the barony’s finances.”
Snorting, Earwig shook her head, made a dismissive wave with her hoof while turning towards Hollyhock, and then, after drawing in a deep breath, she said, “Life is simple. We work, we laugh, we eat, we sleep. That’s all there is too it. We do what must be done and we look after each other. We have a good Milord now, a decent fellow, so we really don’t have anything to fret over.”
“Why thank you, Earwig.”
“Milord, you’ve got my loyalty.” The big mare shifted a bit and rested her bulk against the table, which caused the wood to groan.
“I take it the previous lord was a bad one?” Hollyhock asked while looking more than a little alarmed.
“Aye.” Earwig nodded while making a disgusted face. “You’d be beneath him right about now, and he’d be huffin’ and puffin’ in yer ear—”
“Earwig, that’s enough. Don’t scare the poor maid.” The old retainer focused his grim expression on Sundance for a moment, and then, the tendons in his neck creaking, he turned to look at Hollyhock. “Not every Milord is a good one, young miss. Our Milord brought you back whole of body. Safe and sound. You’d do well to remember that.”
“He brought me home with three legs,” Earwax said while elbowing her sister in the ribs with her only front leg. “Count yerself lucky you came home with all four!”
When both mares began to snigger, Sundance allowed himself a faint smile.
“It’s a wonder that Earwax came home at all.” Cucumber’s wrinkly face sagged even more than usual and the old unicorn let slip a weary sigh. Bowing his head, he stared down into his earthenware teacup, sighed again, and his withers bowed as if a great weight settled upon them. “I wish I was still young enough to enjoy such a change in our fortunes. To be ruled over by a fair Milord is honestly the best we can hope for, so it is.”
With Cucumber slumped over, Sundance sat up a little straighter. “Earwax, if you wouldn’t mind, could you show Miss Hollyhock and her foals the cottage where she’ll be staying?”
“Sure thing, Milord.”
“And Earwig, if you could stay with me a little longer…”
“Right, Milord.”
“Finish your tea, of course. No hurries here.” Sundance tapped on the edge of the table with his front hooves and wondered what his mother and grandmother would think about what he was doing. The eyes of two foals were staring at him in some curious sort of way that felt a bit judgmental. He needed to do something nice for them, something to make them feel welcome, but he had no clue what action to take.
Sundance regretted what was coming, but knew what had to be done. It was time to be the Milord—time to do what was both necessary and right. Hopefully, he had the ponies loyal to him to do it. He was going to have to play this cool, but that was difficult because this was his first real attempt at widespread social manipulation.
With Hollyhock and her foals gone with Earwax, it was now time to put his plan into action. But slowly. With caution. First, he would ease into it and make certain that he had Earwig on his side, and that she was okay with all of this. Here he was again, about to impose his will upon another, and he had to remind himself that he wasn’t doing this for his own benefit. Still, doing what he was doing filled him with unease.
“Earwig, are you sure that you’re okay with these living arrangements?”
The burly mare seemed surprised and she sat blinking for a few seconds before responding, “What?”
“I just came home and said that a stranger would be living with you. In your home. You can refuse me, you know.”
“But… but… but this is a big deal. The chance to have little ones underhoof once more.” A glimmer of cunning could be seen in Earwig’s eyes and her ears angled out forward over her face as her head tilted off to one side. “I know what yer up to, Milord, and I know why.”
“And what am I up to, Earwig?”
“You… ya just saved me sister, so ya know I’m loyal. You want that mare guarded ‘cause ya have yer eye on her, but ya want this conquest to be all sweet and romantic—”
“No, Earwig.” Sundance felt bad for interrupting, but he was also impressed at just how canny this mare was. “It is true that I am exploiting your loyalty, but I want nothing to do with Miss Hollyhock. What I do want is for her to be off-limits. She needs to focus on sorting herself out and raising the barony’s future. I don’t want anypony taking an interest in her, no matter how pleasant their intentions.”
Upon hearing all of this, the big mare seemed disappointed and she made her displeasure known. “You have that right, ya know. It doesn’t mean ya have to be rotten about it. You could be nice in that way that you’ve been so far. But if you did show a little interest in the young mares ya bring home, it’d be great for the barony. I get that yer the nice type, but that mare would lift her tail fer ya with just a few compliments.”
“And that right there is why I want her guarded. Off-limits.” Sundance grimaced, pushed his empty teacup away with the edge of his hoof, and reminded himself that he had to hold himself to a standard that his mother would find acceptable—or else.
“It’s been… a very long time since I’ve known an honourable pony,” Cucumber muttered to himself.
“I don’t get it.”
“Earwig, you don’t need to get it.”
“I got that, I just need to do what the Milord says. But I still don’t get it.”
Sundance took a deep breath and thought about how twistable his ears were. “Just keep the others away. Watch out for the little ones. Don’t let the little ones wander off to dangerous places. And keep the others away from our young mom. What I want is very simple.”
“Right, Milord. I’ll have a quiet word with my sister.”
“You do that, Earwig.” Sundance gave the mare a solemn nod.
“Milord seems to have acquired a noble bearing.” Cucumber began to gather the teacups and set them upon a rather crude, rough-hewn wooden tray. “Rare things, noble bearings. Many Milords find a crown to rest upon their brow, and they strut around, thinking that it suits them… but in my long life… not many find a noble bearing to their liking.”
“Thank you, Cucumber.” Sundance tapped on the table and thought about tea. “I fear that my peasants might turn to hooliganism, Cucumber. Our numbers are growing and we have young ones.”
“Milord?” The old retainer’s bushy eyebrow lifted, but then it got tired and sagged.
“A proper pony drinks tea, Cucumber.” Sundance gestured at the tea service that his retainer was gathering. “Tea keeps a pony civil. Keeps away hooliganism. I drank my tea daily and look how I turned out.”
“Milord has some strange ideas, so he does.” Cucumber’s eyebrow made another attempt to crawl upwards. “Will ye pass a law, Sire? Yer word is the law of the land.”
“Yes, actually.” The words lept from Sundance’s tongue and he felt good about them. “Every peasant is entitled to a proper tea break. At least one per day. Yes, we’ll institute teatime as the law of the land. I’ll do whatever is necessary to make this possible.”
Cucumber nodded his agreement. “It might be nice, a mandatory cup of decency.”
“All my other plans might take some time to happen, but I think I can make this happen sooner rather than later. I’ll just have to talk to the right ponies, I think.” The more Sundance thought about it, the more it made sense. Everything he had planned would take a while, but doing this, he could bring it to fruition right away. A sure sign of actual progress. “It’s a small measure, but it goes a long way towards restoring a bit of pleasantness to this place. A bit of civility in a cup.”
Pausing, the thoughtful, pondering pegasus listened to the sounds of the light rain pattering on the roof. He had brought the rain home with him, as well as some much needed new blood for his barony. Overall, he’d done quite well, so he thought, and though he believed in himself, he did wonder what his family might think. His father, his mother, and his grandmother.
Ultimately though, he knew that he had to rely upon his own judgments. Princess Celestia had placed him in charge; not his mother, his father, nor his grandmother. Him. Alone. The thought was quite sobering, or perhaps it was the gentle pitter-patter of the rain. The idea of being alone stuck with him; he couldn’t just fall in love or have a relationship with just anypony. He had to find somepony that would do right by the barony.
Scowling, he wasn’t ready for such complications, at least not now. He didn’t want to think about them, mostly because he had never sorted himself out. It might be too late to get sorted out. He might just have to settle and do what was right for the barony while ignoring his own needs, whatever those might be. He honestly didn’t know. Here he was, confused about his own sexuality, and making judgments that affected another’s sexuality. Something about this didn’t sit right with him, but what could he do?
“Milord, are you troubled?” Cucumber’s concern was sincere. “Is the weight of rule bearing down upon you? Do you need yer owl, Sire? It’s a bit less weighty than a crown, so I reckon.”
“I would very much like my owl. I assume he’s in my cottage?”
“He is, Milord. I got him a branch to perch on and secured that to the wall.”
“When I was a girl, my mother told me stories about how the land used to be.” Earwig rose into a standing position, shuffled beside the table, and her eyes turned unfocused. “She told me that once, there were sunflowers that went from one horizon to another. Down in the lowlands. Out beyond our box canyon. And owls were everywhere. That was our greatness. Our glory days.”
Cucumber’s ears sagged. “I can remember those days, so I can. But only just barely. Before the war. Before the battle that brought us to ruin. I don’t know if those were our glory days. Stuff was run down even then. The shadow of war fell over the nation and… and… even before the war, that worry of war hit us hard. It’s hard to remember, so it is.”
“But you can remember the sunflowers? What my mother said was true?”
“Aye, I can remember the sunflowers.” Cucumber closed his rheumy eyes and his head swayed from side to side while his ears trembled. “Far as the eye can see. It was called the Sunflower Sea and you could walk for a day and never see the end of it. Those cursed rebels… they burned it. All of it. All those rocks out there on the slope… that all was a city. A town. All of Equestria depended upon our sunflower oil. Separatists left it all in ruins, so they did. We made our last stand in this box canyon… and it seems somehow fitting that our barony too, makes its final stand here. It’s all we have left, this foul-smelling cleft.”
“We can rebuild.” Sundance was startled by the authority he heard in his own voice. “We can and will rebuild. We’re down, but we’re not out. I can’t do this alone. Cucumber, I know I have your support… as for you, Earwig, I hope I have yours. I need ponies I can trust.”
“Like yer trusting me with watching over Hollyhock, Milord?”
“Yes, Earwig.”
“Milord, there’s nothing saying that you can’t have more retainers.” Cucumber’s eyes fluttered open and it took him a moment to focus his vision. “And us retainers, we don’t even have to be unicorns. Though that has been the tradition. There is nothing stopping you from proclaiming that Earwig and Earwax are also your retainers. Might upset the traditionalists, but what can you do, Sire?”
Sundance’s expression became one of ardent shrewdness and all of his focus now rested upon Earwig, who seemed to be studying him with as much intensity as he did her. She was scared—he saw it plain as day—and that was a good thing. A little fear would give her caution, Sundance reckoned.
“Milord, I would never tell you what to do, but if I may suggest… having Earwax and Earwig in charge would be a good thing, Milord. They know the land, they are loyal to you, so they are, and are still young enough that they are not addle-brained, like a certain unicorn I know. It would be wise, Sire, so it would.”
“I need to think on this,” Sundance replied.
“Discuss it with yer owl, Milord. The owls are wise. Always asking who.” Knees popping, the old unicorn rose to his hooves, wobbled a bit, steadied himself, and began to clean the table.
“Earwig, I want you to think about this as well. Discuss it with your sister when you have a chance.”
“Aye, Milord. It scares me something awful, but I’ll do it if I’m asked. I’m no shirker. Not when it comes to the important stuff.”
Feeling as though he had accomplished something, Sundance nodded, but had nothing to say.
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Earwax seems much more intelligent, now that she's not scared senseless. I could see her and Earwig as retainers.
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She's tough to write. She's cunning, which is different from raw intelligence. She's not at all educated, but she's canny and capable.
It's difficult to convey this.
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I'd say you're doing well.
I wonder how Sundance will react when one of his little ponies speaks up about preferring coffee over tea.
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That's actually a really fascinating thing to discuss.
None of his current peasants know what coffee is, save for Hollyhock.
So one of them preferring coffee would mean they are new blood. Outsiders. And this would be a good thing.
small details of past history ,mandatory tea and owl thinking caps, tis nice
9232870
She is life smart.
Re Authors note
That bunch is followed by the ones who get all bent out of shape and forget that the beings we write about are not human.
or the ones that will go to the wall insisting that horses don't eat meat. Now where did my Mickey D go ? Horse in corner of paddock with mustard on lips " Oh thank Epona he got pickles with this". Perhaps the myth of the mares of Diomedes should looked at again?
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Horses *love* meat.
Especially tender human flesh.
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"Put your fingers through my fence; I don't bite I promise"
A mandatory cup of decency. I say, jolly good, toodle pip
9233054
I don't know about horses and long pig, but I know some that might mistake a finger for a hot dog and try to nip it off.
(They're about as good for horses as they are for people, hot dogs- but it doesn't stop either one if they like the taste.)
More and more things are coming together in this story, which I like. Hopefully we'll see the other Peasants more! It's nice to see plans coming together, but with many plans still yet left to be accomplished. We're just starting to see the border pieces of this puzzle fit into place, with quite a wide expanse in the middle.
Though since I remember you said you wanted Griffon names, I am MOST curious as to how you will institute them. Perhaps they will be flyers for the cart for trade goods.
Poor peasants, they want the young Lord to have a baby mamma so bad, but what they fail to realize is his type is a burly lady who could break him in half. Like Bulk Biceps, but female.
Also I love how the Owl Hat is now going to be a thing, that it wasn't a mere one-off and seems to be an important part of the Future for this story <3
Yes, please. Everyone just sit down and enjoy a cup of tea or coffee or something.
No kidding.
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If character opinions reflected the author, Kudzu would be an entire political spectrum by now.
>Kudzu takes a test to determine where they are on the political axis
>Doesn’t even show them a location on the axis, just a simple “yes”
Didn't help the british
What a wonder two years has done to my ability to grasp nuance with these stories. Rereading this ‘verse has been a treat.
I still, however, look forward to the Yes Manifesto.