The Book Of Friendship

by XombieSlayr

Letters Between Sisters I

My Dearest Sister,

You know I love you. But....I have to be honest for a moment.

Just what in the name of the greater gods, convinced you that blowing up an entire section of the Black Skull Islands, to....what was it again? "Build myself a Summer Castle?" And enraging not one, but ALL seven of The Dragon Overlords, by going to their lair and telling them to "Get off Ma Land" before stringing together an entire alphabet of obscenities about their mothers, was in ANY way a rational, let alone sane idea??

What were you thinking!? You know we have tried multiple times to make peace with the dragons! We may be an Empire, but we DO NOT go around declaring entire other nations ours, at the expense of those already settled there. This is our home, dear sister. But we must share it with those others who already made this planet their home.

The Alicorn Empire was built on what I have always believed in, and what nopony else from our homeworld, will ever understand: Friendship.

We must learn to be friends with these creatures. It will be so much better for everypony if we do.

Please, Don't do anything like that again. I have spoken to The Dragon Overlords and they have agreed to let it go, if you apologize for blowing up half their islands and to Lord Cinder about what you said about his mother and the zoo animals (Really, dear sister? Did you have to go that far?)

Please apologize as soon as you can, so we can put all this behind us. Okay?

Love,

- Omni

My Dearest Sister,

I will try to refrain from using profanity in this letter, for your sake, as I explain what happened.

Ahem...

So, first off that F@#%ing stupid little C@#t, Cinder was being a total f@#%ing prick. He was all like "Oh, miss Eclipsa! Please forgive my rudeness, but we simply cannot allow you to build this castle of yours on Black Skull Island. It's the sacred birthplace of our ancestors!"or some sh@t like that. So I responded by telling him that his mother...actually, I'd rather not say. I wouldn't want to offend your virgin ears.

But he was asking for it, trust me.

Okay, Okay (I can already feel your pretty purple eyes, judging a hole through me.) I will....ugh, "apologize" for blowing up the islands. But not for Cinder's mother and her perverted antics at the zoo. That's her fault.

And that Cinder motherf@#%er. (Didn't want to build my castle there anyways.)

Love,

- Eclipsa

P.S: I know how much this "Friendship" thing means to you, and that you want to share it with everypony. And I respect that. But in my defense, I would like to say this. Dragons are stupid and Cinder is an assh@#e.

P.S.S: You have NO idea how hard it was to hold back on the swearing in this letter. But I did it for you. Your'e welcome.

Comments

[superfun]

If that was her holding back, I'm curious as to what it would have been like if she truly let loose.