• Member Since 12th Jul, 2011
  • offline last seen Last Friday

Shiron


E

This is just a short story I had written some months ago.
It isn't pre-read and I haven't work on it since I had sent it to equestriadaily.

I hope you like this story nevertheless;-)

Chapters (1)
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Comments ( 16 )

huh, cool story bro? :trixieshiftright:

lol bingo. :pinkiecrazy: yeah, this could use some editing, but hey, i was forewarned so i'll ignore that. haha:moustache:

I haven't read it yet, but I love the reference to the "Pinkie and the Brain" T.V. show.

#4 · Dec 6th, 2011 · · ·

Other than why would twilight try to take over Equestria its great

As previously stated, this could use some editing and more work on grammar. Some more descriptive scenes would up the quality. It needs some work, but it reads OK for a quick short story (and it is more legible than some of the other stories I've read today, LOL!)

"After some more minutes Twilight finished her newest invention she had build with all her knowledge and just as usual Pinkie was her test subject. that should be built not build."
"Twilight put a futurist hat with many...." and that should be futuristic lol

hehehehe that was a good story lol

52962
thx

52968
that’s very nice^^ thank you:twilightsmile:

53019
I hope you’ll like it.:pinkiesmile:

53205
thanks^^
Usually Twilight wouldn’t do something like this but after I saw a ponyfied Pinkie and the Brain clip I just had to make this story:scootangel:

53216
thanks^^
This story was for a contest on EqD and I think the contest had a word limit. Well, either this or I hadn’t enough time until the deadline of the contest.
If I would re-write it, it would be much bigger and without any mistakes but sadly I don’t have enough time for this.

58105
58106
thank you^^ I fixed both problems. If you find more errors I can fix them:twilightsmile:

74845

I'm trying to get my own story featured on EqD, however I can never seem to get enough feedback (if any, LOL) to get an idea what is and isn't working right on my stories.

I have always enjoyed Pinky and the Brian. Good work. :pinkiegasp::facehoof:

Thank's for letting me know it was on fimfiction not just deviantart. I also look forward to when you start that story of your's with Twilight trying to take over equestria.

I've done a dramatic read on your fan fic

5893121
Thank you very much :twilightblush:
and sorry for the late reply, I just got home from vacation yesterday night :scootangel:

5904761 no problem i just hope you enjoyed it

5906286
yes, it's good:twilightsmile:
and sorry for the late reply (again). I had to learn for some exams (and I should do it right now too:rainbowlaugh: another exam tomorrow:pinkiecrazy:)

Look at word count :pinkiegasp::pinkiecrazy:

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