• Published 10th Jun 2017
  • 3,806 Views, 18 Comments

Going Off Script - Your Antagonist



When it comes to making super slaves of superheroes, nopony gets results like the Cake Twins, but breaking Powerfilly, Equestria's fourth strongest heroine, may prove to be a challenge for even them.

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Comments ( 18 )

wow he's back

Allow my shitty round avatar to welcome you back.

Also hi? Nice to hear from you after all these years? Me and Chuckles sometimes reminisce of the good old times when you actually existed!

Loved this chapter! Hope to see more! As for the Livestream names:

redneck_reptile: Killer Croc
arcticbirdfan5: The Penguin
mr_sleeze: Mr. Freeze
badkitty13: Cat Woman
apokolips#1_gmilf: Granny Goodness
0r4cl3: Barbara Gordon/Batgirl
laughter_is_the_best_euthanisia: Joker
racial_ghoul: Ra's al Ghul
swallowmensundies1842: Solomon Grundy

While there's a rule against linking, there's no rule against telling us which site to find it on...

Proof that Power Girls outfit can make anyone look sexy

Damn. That was pretty intense. Hit all the right points for me. The only thing that could've made it better would have been a happier ending with Babs saving Twist and making sweet love to her.

Care to give us a hint as to where to find the uncensored pic? I've checked Derpibooru, e621, and Paheal with no luck.

At least the smut was good

“Yeah, I’m not buying it, kid. Gonna need to see some proof before I let a couple of kids run around my park at three in the morning doing Celestia knows what.”

“Sis, this is such a waste of time,” It was the pegasus who spoke, “Just let me take care of this rent-a-cop trash so we can be on our way.”

I so wanted the guard to turn out to be some universe level hero/villain, just so he could obliterate pound, the arrogant twat that he is.

Ahh, you're back.

That was horrifying, confusing, and ridiculous. Then again, it was made for a confusd horrorshow of a person. And it was the kind of world that they would love. You did a great job at a terrible thing. Be proud of yourself.

8240782
I wasn't going to reply to this, but where do you get off throwing ad hominems at my dude Sirius? That's absolutely classless of you and completely uncalled for. Your business is with me and this castastrophuck of a story, not its indirect inspiration. That said, I'll take your backhanded, passive-aggressive compliments in stride, but don't talk about my aquaintences you snide prude.
-Antagonist

8240782
Hey.
You can talk shit about me to me on my own page and on my own stories, but do not bother other people just because something they do had some minor ties to me. You don't like the content of the story, then hit the back button and read something else. Don't waste the author's time with your nonsense. Do not reply to this either, I won't respond.

Proper comment to the story - holy fuck yes.

Part of me wishes this had been broken into chapters, but that does mess with the flow a little. That being said, the pacing of this story is quite good. Quite good indeed. It's almost rather textbook in its execution. We get introduced to the two main characters, get shown enough information about them to get a good understanding of what kind of characters they are, all while developing a story about the bad guys, who are almost always more interesting than the heroes. Powerfilly is a good secondary character, she's developed well enough that her actions and mannerisms are believable, even with the events that happen to her.

All this while avoiding the trap I tend to fall into all the time whenever I write anything - this story does not take itself too seriously. There's comedic elements in the dynamic between Pound and Cake, there's the ever eyeroll-inducing live chat, and none of it feels shoehorned in. At the risk of sounding like I have a dick in my mouth, this is what has always been great about reading stories written by you - they are pretty much always high quality writing. That might even forgive the fact that this took a small eternity to write.

I want to say thank you for writing this, but I know you wrote it for yourself more than me, and that's honestly how it should be. You're a fantastic writer and this is just further proof because I can tell you had fun writing this. That's always the goal of any writer - writing for their pleasure rather than for the reader bitching about when you're going to write something new for them.

Good job on this. I'm honestly inspired to jump into this universe and write something proper myself now.

8224992 Maybe you could find it if you typed in 1468864 in Derpibooru url

8365759

media.giphy.com/media/Ectj0tp3RO1fW/giphy.gif

Not the same image as the coverart, but DAAAAAAAAAAAAAAYUM.

Thank you!

8366375

Huh. I thought that black bar was like a censored dildo or something. Guess it's just part of the design.

Many thanks though, friend!

That was far more entertaining than I thought it would be. I kinda wish we had spent less time messing around with the guard at the beginning but once things got going the flow was pretty damn good. The characters and world were pretty interesting to the point where I wasn't really all that interested in the porn. I don't really like incest and cross dressing but you sold me on Pumpkin and Pound's dynamic. Babs was okay as well, even if she didn't get much characterization beyond "hawt amazonian super lesbian". I'm honestly pretty unhappy with how it ended. Way too comic book like I want some closure and more joker pinkie. Joker pinkie is pretty damn good. The whole DC pones is pretty neato in general.

But yeah, fun story if a bit lighter on the clop than I was expecting. Was an enjoyable little read

Surprisingly good. Too bad its a one-shot and you never wrote again.

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