~Come on, you so want to hit that!~
Can we not have this conversation while I'm trying to learn how to walk!
>I agree, now isn't the time to discuss just how wrong you are.<
And here we go.
~Wrong!? Look at her full, wide hips; her soft fur; her mesmerizing eyes; her delicate, soft lips; and don't forget her amazing scent!~
>I'd expect that from a common barn animal!<
~What did you say? It might not be the pony way of doing things, but I will kick your flank into next week!~
>Flank! Even your insults are stupid! You're supposed to say "I'm going to kick your ass"!<
~Hey! Watch your language you no good--~
It was at this point I fell while trying to walk. After picking myself back up I turned my attention to my two annoying companions.
"If you two don't knock it off I swear I'll--"
"Who are you talking to? There is no one here but me and you."
Crap, I said that outloud.
>Smooth move you jackass, now you look crazy.<
~Understandable given he's a pony with a human whining in his head.~
Can you two shut it for a few seconds!
"Just talking to myself! You know, frustration at falling again!"
"Well nothing to feel bad about, you must master walking before you can continue on your route."
"Yeah, I know. Then I just need to figure out what to do with these wings!"
"Hmm... I believe I have a friend who can help you there. And hopefully her odd appearance you can bear."
What's with this place? There are like, no guys here.
>Yeah, I'd noticed there were mainly females and few males. I wonder how that affects their society?<
~It means you're now an insanely eligible bachelor who has a massive chance to get laid.~
Gross dude, cool yourself. Now's not the time for this discussion.
>There never should be a time for that discussion. No one wants to hear about how much you want to bang ponies you sick freak.<
~Um... I'm a pony so it's not weird. Ergo It's not weird for Jack to want that sweet pony--~
No! No no no! Enough of that! Don't even finish that thought!
~I was going to say plot! Get your mind out of the gutter!~
>Says the one obsessed with sex.<
~It's instinctive!~
"Jack? Are you coming? If you do not hurry you'll need to start running."
"Sorry! Got a bit distracted!"
I hurried along until I was walking beside Zecora. As I looked at the large trees all around us, I said,
"So, what's so weird about your friend that you warned me, a human who is also a pony, about it?"
"Ponies typically do not care for her kind, but please, her circumstance bear in mind. Although changelings have frightening looks, the only thing frightening, is her love of books."
"Changelings? What are those?"
"I'm one of those."
The speakers had a quiet, bored sounding voice. As this was said, a strange pony stepped forward. Except, she wasn't exactly a pony, I think. She had a black, iridescent body. Her hooves had holes going clear through, she had solid blue eyes, fangs, and insectile wings on her back. Overall she was--
>Kinda cute!<
~Terrifying! Run away screaming!~
Why would I do that? Human me is obviously right.
>Boom!<
~Fine! But don't blame me when she eats you.~
"Magala my friend! I was not expecting you at this bend!"
"Thought I'd drop by for a visit. Who's the Nocturne?"
"This is Jack, although I'm torn as to why you appeared in your true form?"
Magala (I think) shrugged and said,
"I could sense transfiguration magic on him, thought he might be a changeling too."
I chose then to but in.
"Hi, it's nice to meet you."
Magala shifted her attention to me and started slowly walking over. She stopped just a few inches away and leaned towards me. She sniffed me before rubbing her head against my chest like a cat. (She was a bit shorter than the average pony.)
>Daw, she likes you!<
~Danger! Danger! Run away!~
"Uh... what?"
"Do not fear, she is seeing if you have love. But be assured she is as harmless as a dove."
Have love? What the heck does that mean?
The changeling pulled away, a slight gleam in her eyes.
"Well I wouldn't say 'harmless', but I'm not going to hurt you... intentionally."
Before I could ask what she meant by that, Zecora spoke up.
"Jack here has changed his form. I ask that his wings you get warm."
Get my wings warm? What does that mean?
>Probably help you get used to your new appendages.<
I still remember that weird feeling of having wings for the first time.
~Yeah, but now you can fly! Score one for the ponies!~
>Why would you want to fly when you can have fingers.<
"What's his deal?"
"Jack zones out alot. I believe he is just deep in thought."
I snapped back to attention.
"Sorry. Had alot on my mind."
Magala hummed before turning and walking towards a clearing. Zecora gestured after her before trotting back down the path. Apparently I was staying with Magala for a while.
As I reached the clearing, Magala turned and walked back up to me.
"So... what's with your emotions? They're all scrambled up."
"Well I did just become a pony, there's a lot to take in."
"Like your newfound attraction to Zecora?"
I froze. What? How?
"Oh don't bother freaking out. I feed off of love, of course I can sense it. There's a little spark of attraction but a whole lot of confusion with it. You probably don't know if it's right to be attracted to her."
>Of course it's not right! You're a human! Just because you look different doesn't change that!<
~It's normal! You're a pony now! Start acting like one!~
The changeling (who ate love? How do you eat an emotion!) sauntered over to me.
"Aw... you're so confused. Here, let me help."
Before I could do anything, she pushed me over. I fell into a patch of soft moss lying on my back. (What, I as still trying to learn this whole walking thing!) She stood over me before settling onto my stomach and pressing her nose against mine.
"What are you--"
She put her hoof over my mouth and made a quiet "shh" noise. Oh heck, I really don't want to lose my v card right now! (Are you really surprised? The amount of paperwork necessary for a relationship was huge! And took forever! And really wasn't worth it.) I flinched a bit as she pressed further up against me. She laughed a bit before pressing her lips against mine. Huh, my first kiss and it's as a pony... with a bug pony thing that's kinda cute bit a little bit scary.
~See! Pony is better! Second day as pony and your life is already drastically improving!~
>Until she rapes him. Or do you ponies call it a "struggle snuggle."<
Dang human me, you're a total savage!
>Thanks. I am curious though, ponies tend to use their own words for stuff.<
~No! We don't call rape a struggle snuggle! That would be weird!~
My three way discussion was stopped as Magala shifted a bit in my embrace. Wait... when did I start-- oh... the pony effect. After a while she pulled away slightly and licked her lips.
"Not bad. Maybe I should keep you."
"I'm confused, what the heck was that? And what did you mean by 'feeding off lov--"
She shut me up by planting another kiss on me. I always wondered what kissing felt like, and I have to say, it's not half bad.
"You seem to be enjoying this."
I really need to stop letting my subconscious take over because now I was in full on makeout mode.
"Subconscious what the heck!"
"Hm? Just instinct then? Oh well. But feel free to look me up anytime you want. I'm always hungry."
~Creepy!~
>Agreed. For such a cute thing she is sorta creepy.<
I second that motion!
"Well, how about we teach you how to fly now. If we finish early I'll give you another kiss."
Sheesh lady, you're almost as bad as pony me is about Zecora!
~I resent that!~
>Yet he isn't wrong.<
She got off me and helped me to my feet. I mean hooves. Hooves.
"Now the trick to flying is having good wing motion. We'll start with some basic exercises and then we'll move on. Hope you're ready to sweat, because I love to watch a stallion work."
>Okay, keep an eye on her or else I feel like she'll try to do more than just kiss you.<
~Maybe that's not a bad thing. I mean, now that we've gotten to know eachother she isn't that bad.~
>I thought you were scared of her?<
~She's too sexy to be scary.~
>Is that all you think about?<
~No, it's just what pertains to the moment.~
Shut up and let me focus!
Apparently Magala would be a horrible regular teacher because her way of getting your attention was to kiss you full on the mouth. She would never escape lawsuits by angry parents.
"Focus Jack. I don't want to spend all day on this."
"Yeah yeah I hear you."
I really was dreading learning to fly more than I thought I would.
8160856 It appears my plan is working. Also I have never read conversion bureau, it's never seemed like something I would be interested in. If there's one you think I should read feel free to tell me.
eeehhh... I don't think this level of insanity happens after only after 1 day of being transformed into a pony...
being stuck for days on house arrest don't count.
I have this felling jack is gona become a human again right in town square.
8160924 It's more trying to figure out exactly what you are. Also magic, a body unaccustomed to magic that then uses magic to transform will have some nasty side effects.
8160929 Maybe...
Maybe a little less of the voices getting in Jack's way. I believe it's distracting from the main story.
ooh, can i has kiss from love-bug?
i've always had a thing for changelings and Thestrals (batponies)... my two favorite pony-types. now you can keep Jack, seeing as he isn't a true Thestral, just let me have the love-bug.
8161026 I'm planning on having them take less as less active roles. I figured having them start out more vocal and then just start occasionally commenting would be a good plan.
This chapter was a bit confusing to me, even though I knew which Jack was talking.
8161121 Ok, if she goes with you.
8161207 That was sort of the point and is all part of my master plan.
Shall it ever be known if Magala is actually that horny? Or if she's just baiting him for amusement/ love? Oh the drama! Oh the agony! Tune in next time to find out! Same bat pone time, same bat pone channel!
8161307 That made me snicker.
8160151 I look forward to that part...
I'm gonna guess out a math: The Stallion Population out of all ponies is 8%
Why are there almost NO STALLIONS in Equestria? Heck, there isn't even a KING
KITTIES! YAAAAY!!
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You know, when I read the first part about him being a pony, I literally observed: He is going to have a mental breakdown, he will still have his memories, but those memories will be mixed up with the new instinctive pony memories, giving him a hard time... War is gonna go down in his head... *NEXT CHAPTER* THIS IS WAR!! I LOVE IT!! XD
8161649 Will that ever be answered?! Where are all the bros!
8161700 Yay!
your writing seems to be getting better and with the addition to the voice in his head thing seem to be getting more interesting. I think you rush things too much, but that is just me. Keep it up
8162324 It is, just figured having a brand new brain with new instincts would cause that. Glad you're looking forward to the next chapter although unfortunately it will be delayed.
8162551 It's hard finding balance between too fast it's bad or too slow it's boring.
Struggle snuggle is adorable. I don't know, I just can't stop smiling at this. I must think about something more disgusting like turd flinging or something
I haven't finished this chapter bur I need to sleep, however I wanted to mention that I don't like that "being in heat stuff or what his pony half is doing here, since I see them more or less like humans.
I could talk again about the mind changing stuff, but maybe this is only his head trying to figure out what he wants, acting like two extremes if you now what I mean.
I think like the human part, just because he transformed doesn’T has to mean his wants and preferences change that fast too.
8220935
Exactly. Just because he looks like a pony doesn't mean he is one.
I have to give you so much praise for the 'relationship paperwork' line. At first I thought it was a typical joke, but then I remembered his extremely controlling fascist empire that probably does have a stack of paperwork for people that want to get into relationships and I nearly peed myself laughing.
8775841
I feel like not many people got that. Also, I will be revising it in the final story for some jokes.
It's 'I have', had is past tense and he still has them on his mind.
9060789
This one was on purpose. I’m writing in dialect unlike my own. It can come across as robotic if a fictitious character has perfect grammar in their speech. In the case of narration, definitely go for perfection. I just find that sometimes some bad grammar can help establish a character.