"Soooooooo boooooooored!"
I slumped over as I put my crayon down. It had only been ten days and I was already going coocoo from the boredom. I had even written in my journal in advance for when I do go crazy. I needed to break out of here though. As cute as these ponies are I really didn't feel like rotting in here for the rest of my life. I looked out my window at the town below. Ponies were walking around, talking, being happy and stuff. My gaze drifted to beyond the town. Beyond that relatively short wall was the forest. That's were I was heading. There was my ticket to freedom. I needed to plan, and I knew exactly where to plot my escape.
I rocked back and forth as the water splashed against the tub. Sad music was pouring out of my music player as I stared at the falling water droplets. I let the crippling depression sink in for a few more minutes before shaking myself out of my thoughts.
"Alrighty then, time to get to work!"
I could almost hear the dramatic music playing as I packed up my backpack. (What, I don't have any epic music. It's all sad or too upbeat.) I strapped my knife on, gathered up the food I'd stored (they gave me a lot of food okay) and soon had my backpack strapped on. Now, we wait. Once night falls, I'm busting out of this joint. I'll reach the forest, survive, and them I'll... I'll think of something after I make a shelter. Speaking of, first order of business, learn how to make a shelter. I looked at the bed and smiled. Looks like Celestia just keeps giving me stuff to escape with. I sat down and waited, watching the sun descend towards the horizon. Soon, soon I was going to break out of here. I had supplies, a plan (well, about a fourth of a plan) and a way to escape.
I was going to use my bobby pin and long metal skewer to pick the lock. I read a story about that growing up and then read a book about lock picking. You just use the skewer to press down the bottom locking mechanism, then you rake the pin across the tumblers. You find the tumblers and press them into the unlock position. Simple, easy as pie, easy peasy lemon squeezy.
-----------------------
Turns out I was wrong, and it was difficult difficult lemon difficult instead. I grit my teeth as I continued poking around inside the lock. The sun had just set and I was getting frustrated. Finally, after what seemed like forever, I heard a click and the lock released. I swung the window open revealing the outside world. I was about hella far away from the ground, but fortunately, there was a very sturdy looking water spout running along the outside of the tower. I started breathing deeply, trying to calm my nerves as I wrapped my belt around my hand and threaded it through the gap between the wall and the stone schute. It was oddly designed in that it was very thick and freestanding. There was only about a half inch of clearance between the schute and the tower wall, whether intentional or accidental, this was my ticket down.
"Alright, I can do this. This is going to be a piece of cake."
I grabbed the other end of my belt and started shimmying down the spout. I wish I could say I was gritting my teeth and growling as I struggled down the tower. When in reality, I was whimpering and wishing I was hugging bat pone instead. The descent seemed to last for hours, my arms and legs burning as I struggled down the stone wall.
"Don't look down, just... think about rainbows and ponies and rainbow ponies. No heights, just hugs and lollipops and--"
My foot hit the ground, and I looked down. Somehow I had already reached the bottom. I breathed a sigh of relief. I quickly put my belt back on and tightened it. After readjusting my bag I stealthily crept towards the gardens I had seen. They seemed to only have a hedge wall surrounding them, and plenty of trees to climb over it. I stuck to the shadows, staying alert for signs of the ponies. As I neared the garden, a light started approaching from around a corner. I pressed myself against the wall and used a nearby barrel to hide. Soon two guards came trotting past, chatting as they completed their rounds.
"Can you believe the Princesses still have that thing locked up? If I was in charge I would have just gotten rid if it and saved myself the hassle."
"Yeah, those freaks wage war on us and we still gotta be nice to them? Nu-uh, I don't like it. As soon as possible we should arrange a little 'accident.' It's not like he has useful information anymore."
They then were too far away to hear anymore, and I really didn't need to. I guess I chose a good time to escape. I slowly crept on, remaining vigilant in order to prevent capture. Honestly, it was more a short skirmish rather than a war, but these ponies didn't seem to be very experienced with the whole "war" thing. I soon was making my way through the gardens, surprised at just how easy this had been. I mean, I knew security was lax around here, but this was just ridiculous!
I spotted a good sized tree and started to climb. Its branches were low and thick so it was perfect for my escape. As I climbed, I froze when I heard talking below me.
"You sure you heard something?"
"Yeah, and it didn't sound like a squirrel either."
I held my breath as two guards approached the tree. They started roaming around, searching for clues. It was starting to get difficult to hold my breath when on said,
"Whatever it was, I don't see it. Maybe it was one of those big parrots Princess Celestia has?"
The other guard nodded and they trotted away. My breath released with an explosive gasp. I started sucking in air as fast as I could. Their conversation covered my breathing so I was safe for the moment, but note to self, ponies have really good hearing.
I climbed as high as the branches would allow before facing the hedge wall. I gripped the branch beside me and started preparing myself.
"Alright, on three. One. Two. Three!"
I lept as far as I could, clearing the wall completely... and almost falling off the cliff behind it. With a yelp I scrambled to stop myself. My foot slipped and I fell, grabbing onto the ledge as I went. I heaved and carefully pulled myself up. Well crap, now where am I supposed to go. I saw that the forest was now below me, and looked for a way down. A few feet away was a small path, and when I mean small, I mean small for a pony. Needless to say it was plenty wide for a human, just a little... windy. I realized this was beneficial because I could literally hop down the mountain rather than walk down it. I'm going to look like a jackass, but it'll be faster.
About twenty minutes later, I was standing at the bottom mof the cliff with very sore calves. I caught my breath and started wearily jogging towards the forest, ready to create shelter so I could sleep. I started walking, I needed to find a good place to... build a treehouse? A tent? A cabin? Something. Minutes later I found a hollow tree that looked perfect for curling up and sleeping like a homeless man. I put my backpack on the ground and pulled one of my blankets out... and my favorite wax shark. (What!? I wasn't going to leave them all there! I only left a few, and I hid them around my room. They'll have to work in order to find my wax figurines.)
I drew the blanket around me, excited yet tired. Tomorrow I was starting my new life of survivalism. I was going to head deeper into the woods and build a place to live. My eyes closed and I adjusted my backpack, getting more comfortable before falling asleep.
or something. Just... you know... do something.
But seriously, great chapter. A bit short, but pretty good.
if they somehow translate the journal, it'll be funny.
I'll just leave his comment here for anyone who wants it.
8149730 I usually keep my chapters short so it's no problem to upload every other day. Glad you like the chapter though!
8149744 Interesting....
8149749 Ok, I'll just accept it as a comment. Anyone else wants it, they can have it.
...
Alright, I can work with that...
I love this guy. And his little sharks too.
8149836 Ha! Pranked! I just love screwing with you guys! But I'm glad you're enjoying the story. It's always nice to know my story is being enjoyed.
8150269 Hope I don't disappoint!
Bat pone is gona hug him tho death when they find him.
Hmm... I just finished getting caught up. Nice job so far.
8148257
He couldnt spell bar
he's free!... and all i can think of is how pissed off Luna and Celestia are going to be until they see the writing on the wall
the walls... ceiling... floor... windows... it's all over every square inch of the room.
Who am I who am I who am I who am I who am I who am I who am I who am I who am I who am I who am I who am I who am I who am I who am I who am I who am I who am I who am I who am I who am I who am I who am I who am I who am I who am I who am I who am I...
if one needs proof that humans are a social creature, here it is
8150520 Yeah, but what a way to go.
8150538 Thanks!
8150893 Exactly. I researched what happened to people in solitary confinement for extended periods of time and basically this happens.
yeah, believe me when i tell you i know what it's like...
been there, done that, got the shirt... and promptly strangle the monster who lived in my closet.
god age 12 was a bad year for me
8150912 its the best way to Go.
8150934 You have my condolences. Basically my entire life from 12 to now have been kinda crappy.
8150963 I agree wholeheartedly.
This is good and i need more
8152131 New chapter either today or to tomorrow. I try for every other day.
Well, I wonder how this going to turn out. I can't wait to see him defend himself for sneaking out when he gets caught, which I'm sure is totally going to happen. Probably next chapter.
8152417 Not yet, but soon. Now we focus on the escape.
8152286 ok
I wonder if poison joke turns him into a pony? I know that is Cliche'd but it may or may not work to his advantage. Who knows?
out of all the books, the didn't give you, they didn't give you: "How To Build A Shelter For Dummies"?
Nice Escape Timing, otherwise.... u ded bruh
I Like Tanks
When those two Bastards of a guards try to assault him, they'll find out that he is missing, and alert everyone... Then Princess Celestia gonna ask them: "Wait, you two were supposed to be patrolling the Gardens, and how did you find out about him missing anyways?"
Then The Guards Will Say At The Same Time: "Shit"
Hey, I'm late this time
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we sell products and get in fights
8152967 We'll just have to wait and see.
8152993 Nope, not even the pocket guide.
8152998 Deus ex machina!
8153005 I am glad!
8153016 Oooooh, can I use that?
8153095 SAXTON HALE!
8153412 here, hold these engine parts for me BRAVE JUMP!
8152967 It would probably be a blessing for this guy, if disorienting.
I'm silly, since I only now realized that this means he didn't actually draw creepy symbols on the walls, and that means that Celestia won't walk in there and go, "Woah, WHAT THE FCK!?!"
This makes me sad.
8153410 Yeah XD
8154621 Who said he didn't? I thought I made it clear he just did it all in advance.
8154846
It would have been funny if he had named the wax figurine Maudlin. Then Jack could have waxed maudlin!
This isn't a good story. I'm two chapters in and I have no idea what is even happening. Protagonist spends the first two chapters whining and then escapes from... somewhere? Where was he even imprisoned? I sure have no idea, it's not like the story bothers telling us. I won't be continuing this.
8418784
Uh... you realize this a sequel to an earlier story... right? Granted neither are that good to begin with but it'll make more sense if you read the first ome beforehand. Which is listed in the description.
I would've taken all of them D:
9060761
Same.
Simple, easy as pie, easy peasy lemon squeezy.
Turns out I was wrong, and it was ...
stressed, depressed, lemon zest???