Nuit Blanche

by nightwalker

In the Light of Day

There was light and there was noise, something akin to running water. Those were Octavia’s first impressions of the morning. The water stopped quickly enough that it might very well have been an illusion, but the light didn’t go away.

A groan escaped the lips of the grey earth pony as she dared open her eyes. Quickly regretting that mistake, she hid her face behind her forelegs.

Still, she couldn’t hide from the day forever. Slowly peeking out from behind her legs, she squinted and sought the clock in the room, groaning and hiding again when she saw the time.

Yes, it was well after eleven, but to be fair, she had been up on stage DJ-ing—such as it were—until three in the morning, and didn’t actually get to sleep until just after four. It had been a long night out, but she couldn’t argue with Jazzie; the results were certainly worth it. Still though, she really… really should get up and practice.

A yawn stretched her muzzle and then worked its way down to the rest of her body, causing her to writhe and twist amongst the tangled sheets as she stretched out all her limbs. She turned over and settled down on top of a pillow, pulling it close underneath her.

On second though, the bed was nice and warm from the sunlight. Maybe a little more.

“Hey, you’re awake,” came a surprisingly cheery voice. Octavia opened her eyes to the sight of a white unicorn standing in her bathroom doorway, toweling off her vibrant blue mane.

Red. Her eyes, no longer hidden behind her sunglasses, were red.

“So I managed to find the bathroom and the shower,” said Vinyl. She got the last bit of water out of her forelock and hung the towel around her neck. Her mane was maybe only a little messier than last night. “But I wasn’t able to find the coffee yet.”

Octavia yawned hugely again. “Kitchen’s down the hall to your left,” she croaked, her voice still heavy from sleep.

Vinyl sauntered over and rubbed her nose against Octavia’s. “Yeah, but it’s your kitchen. How about getting up and giving me a helping hoof with that?”

Looking deeply into the red eyes in front of her, their corners crinkled up in a smile, Octavia asked, “But if I feed you, how will I ever get rid of you?”

“You say that as if it’s a bad thing.” Vinyl pressed forward in a light kiss.

Octavia smirked and kissed back.

Th’End

Author's Note:

To my readers, I thank you for making it this far!

This story had a lot of real events and locations integrated into it. A full, and rather exhaustive list can be can be found in my blog about this story.

Again, I thank you to all those who took the time to read this story (especially before the chapter breakup) and I look forward to any comments you may be willing to leave for me.

Comments

[Taialin]

Holy crap, where have I been for, like, the past year? That's a long story, but it can be summed up by the word "life." I'm not really back, per se, but I came back in time to see you publish this story and expound on your lack of comments. Time to change that, I think!

I remember Nuit Blanche myself, although that of Nuit Blanche Toronto, and moreso because my research professor suggested putting one of our collaborative simulation projects on display as a piece of contemporary interactive art than the fact I actually attended. Leave it to him to brainstorm up creative uses for his primary research project. In hindsight, I would have really liked to attend Nuit Blanche, if only because this story piqued my interest and illuminated me to the festival I missed. There's actually quite a few more I should have attended during my stint in Toronto . . .

To me, this story seems to be best read with a glass of wine on a twilit night outside when the air is cool and there's nothing else to do. It's very serene and artistic, which I'd think was what you were going for. In that way, it's a very nice, slow story. Unfortunately, those are not the conditions under which I actually read your story. I'll probably need to come back on it when I'm not under the weight of several upcoming midterms.

I suppose I'm putting your story to different standards, considering your combination of tags (Romance/Slice of Life) is one of my favorite combinations and is one I use all the time. You go far more heavily onto "Slice of Life" as opposed to "Romance" than I would as evidenced by the fact this story really doesn't touch on romance 'till the end of the fourth chapter. It eschews classical story structure (where the climax of the story is in the middle) and pulls out the exposition to cover essentially the entire thing. That makes sense, given this story seems built off your own Nuit Blanche experience, but it almost feels too Slice of Life—that is, there's so much description of mundane life experiences that it no longer feels like a classical story.

Is that a weakness? I don't really know, since it depends on what you were going for. An embellished personal recount of Nuit Blanche this is, but an exciting story this is not. (That might explain the downvotes.) Your descriptions are great, but they alone do not a story make. I'll be honest, I was kind of hoping for a bit of extra story between the fourth and fifth chapter (because I am a sucker for the ), but that's just me. Take it how you will.

I'll close with my absolute favorite quote of the story:

“Yeah.” Vinyl reached up and gave her horn a knock. “Horns are good for magic, holding donuts, and popping bubble wrap. Very versatile.”

It's not so much my favorite because it includes bubble wrap (I actually don't get how it's a reference to Tabby) but because structurally, it looks an awful lot like a Donald Trump tweet! I would much prefer he tweet about the multipurpose nature of horns than . . . whatever he's probably tweeting about now.

[nightwalker]

8014470
Oh wow, thank you very much!

I do encourage you to attend one if you ever get the chance, they can be quite neat. At least if it has a proper bohemian feel to it.

The feedback here is very appreciated, being pretty much all I could ask for. You were right about the "romance" tag, it was very much a yes/no/maybe choice. Do I err on it just having that single tag, which for a long story looks odd, or add in really the only other appropriate other one. Went with both obviously in the end. As to wanting some more between chapters 4 and 5, heh, I will admit to getting rather out of my depth there and decided it best left to the reader's imagination what our two protagonists got up to on stage and after. I do acknowledge the other points about story vs recounting why I was hesitant to work on this after originally starting. Something to work on better next time!

As to the bubble wrap comment, it was Tabitha St. Germain's answer to the question "If you woke up in Equestria as your pony, what's the first thing you would do?" ("I'd pop bubble wrap with my unicorn horn!") It was expounded on in Pop by ocalhoun, which is a delightful little comedy piece.

[Minds Eye]

Your review is ready over at the PCaRG.

[horizon]

Awfully atmospheric! Cool Mane Six cameos, too.

Also, it's pretty awesome how you Canadians have cloud mazes at your festivals. I'm not sure I buy the crepe makers, though. I mean, there's fantasy, and then there's just blatant wish fulfillment.