If you know where to look, the scars of Twilight Sparkle's magical surge during her entrance exam are still visible in Canterlot. Surges from unicorns are always potentially dangerous, but Twilight has come across a disturbing idea.
Unicorns aren't the only ponies with magic. Earth ponies and pegasi also use the magical energies of Equestria to shape the world around them. Could they too have surges? Twilight is determined to find out.
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That was a great story, really emotional at the end. I wouldn't mind reading more about what's happening in that story.
7966752 I'll think about it but this really was intended as a one shot. Maybe another story will have Scootaloo the weather mage or this will get extended along with Twilight's search for surges but probably not for a while.
This is a decent story, but the pacing felt a bit too fast, there were parts lacking in some detail (for example; when Rainbow Dash was angry you described what she was saying, but not what she was doing) but it was serviceable for telling the plot, and the plot was adequate enough for the story to stay in the green.
Also, I think this is the earliest I've ever gotten to a story from someone I'm not actively following.
7966857 Thanks. This really was a quick one-shot, but if I decide to extend or revamp it I'll take your comments into consideration and try to pace things better and work out some of the details. I appreciate the feedback.
oh... oh god... Scootaloo, surged?
7967116 And took out her abusive father
this is deep...
7966774
No problem, go at your own pace. I was simply giving my opinion, no need to feel pressured.
Wow... What a story. I loved what was written. However while I didn't mind the pace, the end seemed a little more like the ending of a chapter than a one-shot story, forced in other words. I agree with Greenjack regarding, parts lacking in some detail (for example; when Rainbow Dash was angry you described what she was saying, but not what she was doing) but it was serviceable for telling the plot, and the plot was adequate enough for the story to stay in the green..
For a one-shot, Absolutely Brilliant! As the first chapter to a story, it has an excellent pull to get people interested. So all in all a favourite but of course there's is always a way someone would prefer it written.
7966774
I hate pressure and while I would love to see a story inspired by this, the world ain't gonna die if I don't. Hope your having a great start to the year.
Yeah, I have to agree that it feels more like at least the first chapter to a story, rather than an individual story.
And while what's here isn't necessarily bad, that sense of incompleteness is the biggest reason why I can't bring myself to fave it, despite wanting to because of how well written it is.
I do at least have an idea for how the continuation could go, at least for a while, if you're interested in reading that
9098753
sure, hit me with it
9099848
The next day, while Scoots and Dash are hanging out, the subject of magical surges comes up, with Scoots getting nervous as a result. After a few questions, Dash eventually convinces her to tell what happened, with the Pinkie Promise that she won't tell anypony else. Once Scoots finishes the story, Dash comforts her. The way Scoots tells the story also gives Dash the perfect idea of what can be done to finally get her to fly, and it works.
That last part I thought of just now, while the rest I had thought of immediately after reading it.
9099867
I like it, but Twilight is only just now theorizing on pegasi magical surges. Scootaloo isn't aware that she caused the storm that killed her father, and the knowledge might be devastating to her
9101535
Hmmm...
I'll give this some thought and send a revised idea later
9101535
Pardon the very late comment, But I might have an idea for a follow up.
So when Scoots surged her first time some five or more years ago she accidentally caused a massive storm either outside or she caused perhaps some sort of localized phenomenon like a downburst or intense electric burst. In this she killed her father who from the sound of things was an alcoholic and was mean when drunk, beating her and perhaps her mother. My thoughts could be that after this surge of magic Scoots passed out and was later found either by relatives (her aunts from canon) or someone else, she could essentially have retrograde amnesia (or if you wanted to play it a bit more loosely Hollywood amnesia).
From this Twilight's experiments or a unthinking statement by RD could toggle a long repressed memory in Scoots, and the emotional journey of finding herself, discussions with her family, etc.
11634224
That is a good interpretation and I would be happy to see you or someone continue the story in that fashion. In my head cannon Scoot's small wings and inability to fly are a combination of childhood malnutrition and abuse coupled with psychological problems brought about by her abusive father. Her ability as a fairly powerful weather controller is hinted at in this story, and I'd wanted to do something with that once upon a time. Sadly, life has taken much of my free time from me and I don't write nearly as much as I used to.
11634411
I'd love to, but at this exact moment I will decline on the premise I have a story I am trying to write and don't need any more procrastination excuses