Spike was finding it very hard to calm himself down after Twilight’s disastrous visit, so much so that he spent the next several or more minutes (he wasn’t sure of an exact timeframe, truthfully) following it still curled up on the floor, weeping outwardly but inwardly his blood was still boiling. By the time the tears slowed to a stop again, Spike had rolled onto his back and glared up at the ceiling of the chamber, angrily reviewing what Twilight had said to him during her relievingly brief visit.
How dare she, he thought to himself. How DARE she come in here and say such things, and with Thorax lying RIGHT THERE no less! How DARE she speak of him in such a callous manner, like his life had meant NOTHING, and how DARE she try to shift ANY of the blame off herself, let alone onto me! ME! All just because I had the GALL to stand up to her!
And so on his internal seething continued, all of it directed at the alicorn that had wronged him so. He had known well before Twilight had ever set hoof into the chamber that such a meeting was only going to end in disaster, but not even he thought it would’ve gone like this. He had expected her to come in trying to pick up their relations from where they had left off, like Thorax had never happened, which Spike wouldn’t have stood for a second any more than what did transpire. But it stung to hear Twilight so blindly miss the point, and he was insulted Twilight even thought she could try to wave aside her blame like she did. Even after the literal changeling hive full of evidence proving Thorax’s honor that she had been witness to, Twilight still couldn’t see him as anything but an enemy, and even with all the evidence piled up against her, her little stunt only proved to Spike that all she cared about was proving to him that she had still been right.
But she wasn’t. And the idea she couldn’t see that, that her own ego meant more to her than his own grieving heart and his lost friend, infuriated Spike…as well as cause him to pity her, which was the saddest part of all of this. Deep down…he knew she could’ve done far better.
Spike continued to lay there on his back, glaring at nothing, for several minutes without interruption. He had effectively forgotten that, despite it having wound down considerably, Thorax’s viewing was technically still underway, until a hapless changeling, unaware of what had transpired and whom Spike didn’t know, entered and quickly tried to hurry to Spike’s aid upon seeing him lying on the floor, thinking him hurt. Annoyed at having his resentment interrupted, Spike only snapped at her, chased the baffled changeling out of the room, then dragged the chamber’s beetle-like doors shut, sealing himself inside and barring entrance of anyone else who might choose to come and disturb him. Any who tried were all immediately told to leave by Spike. He didn’t want anyone right now.
As the hours then slowly passed by, Spike spent his seclusion quite restlessly, unsure or unable to settle down into any one particular activity. He spent the first several minutes just pacing aimlessly about the room, brow tightly furrowed as he let his anger bubble. Every now and then the pressure built up to the point that Spike would break down and bellow the raw rage out into the chamber. Eventually, realizing his anger for Twilight wasn’t diminishing any, he took to ways to try and vent it however he could. At first he took to yelling very foul-mouthed triads against the pony, but when that proved to be insufficient, he took to hurling chucks of changeling resin at an unflattering caricature of Twilight he scratched out on the wall with his claws. When he ran out of loose chucks to throw, of which there really weren’t that many lying around to begin with, Spike took to yanking out new ones directly from the walls and throwing those.
But soon even that proved to not be enough, even after Spike had torn chucks of resin from what seemed like every place in the room he could reach except for the floor and of course the resinous base for the moss bed Thorax’s body laid upon. At that point, Spike ended up throwing himself upon the caricature, pounding and clawing at it with his feet and claws until it had been scratched into oblivion and, wearied from the effort, Spike let himself sink to the floor, weeping again. He remained leaning against the wall shedding tears for a long period, but still feeling restless, he eventually rose to his feet and proceeded to pace aimlessly about the room again, mulling upon bitter thoughts while half-heartedly kicking at the pieces of resin left scattered about the floor.
Before long, his pacing gravitated back towards Thorax and he started walking back and forth or in a circle around Thorax’s resting place, viewing the changeling and mourning for his death. As he had been doing ever since his friend’s death, he kept wishing Thorax hadn’t died at all. Eventually this wishing turned to desperation, and as the increasingly late hour and lack of sleep started to wear on him, it ultimately led to the dragon coming to Thorax and helplessly shaking his body in a very vain attempt to try and get him to “wake up.” This stopped abruptly once Spike realized what it was he was doing, and, ashamed, let his head drop onto the side of the mossy bed to go into another bout of weeping. At the end of it, he reverently took the time to restore Thorax’s position upon the moss his shaking had bumped him out of.
Though, depressingly, he noted that despite the shaking, Thorax’s position hadn’t shifted much at all, the changeling’s body now feeling cool and stiff under his claws. And with that realization, the fact that Thorax was dead and gone sank into Spike’s mind with full finality. Up until then, Spike had found some way to shirk it, some way to convince himself otherwise, warding off this full realization…until now. To his genuine surprise, he found himself taking it better than he expected, and it wasn’t long after reaching this point that Spike found himself accepting that Thorax was dead and not coming back. Despite this progress though, it still left the dragon extremely depressed and sad, and he found himself sinking to the floor again, leaning against the side of the bed with glazed eyes staring at nothing.
He remained there for a very long time, just letting his mind wander. He felt listless…he dimly thought it might have something to do with the late hour—he was certain it was well into the night now—and that he hadn’t slept or eaten since that morning leaving his body gradually running out of energy to keep going. Weirdly though, he found he couldn’t care…even though he figured he probably ought to. Instead, he just sat there and let the time slowly continue to slip away from him.
At one point he picked up one of the hunks of resin he had been throwing around earlier and started whittling away at it with one of his claws, scratching away random flecks of the block and not really having any intended shape in mind. That is until he realized he was whittling away one end more than the other and he continued with that trend for a while until he had given the block a pointed and extremely sharp tip. He held it in his claws for several long moments, debating to himself what he could do with such a sharp thing…but ultimately he snapped off the pointed tip with his claws, making it uselessly blunt again, and tossed the pieces aside. He did not pick them up again.
He continued sitting there, letting the hours slip by as his mind retreated inward upon itself and outwardly turned more and more distant. At some point, he let himself slump over until he had flopped onto his side, laying there on the floor with his back against the moss bed and vacantly staring out across the chamber, but he couldn’t recall when exactly that had transpired. At one point he lazily reached for the cushion Pinkie Pie had left for him so to slide it under his head, sparing it from having to rest on the hard and cold floor underneath. He noticed that it had been a long time since someone had attempted to enter the room now, but he wasn’t terribly surprised given how late it had gotten, nor was he particularly bothered by it. He was facing the chamber doors still anyway, so he would see if there was ever any activity there.
Unbothered, then, he remained where he was, until a moment when he slowly let his eyelids close for a prolonged blink of a second at most, only to open them again and see that Princess Luna had suddenly appeared within the chamber, standing by the still-closed doors.
More surprised than annoyed, Spike sat up, ogling her. “How did you get in here?” he asked aloud.
“The changelings, it seems, were quite reliant on the magic of Chrysalis’s throne for security,” Luna replied, then upon seeing that Spike didn’t understand, elaborated more simply. “There are no wards anywhere in the hive prohibiting teleportation.”
“Oh,” Spike grunted. He blinked blearily a few times at her. “So…why are you here?”
“I have not yet paid my respects to Thorax, first of all,” Luna replied calmly as she moved to approach Spike, glancing about the chamber as she did, no doubt noting the aftermath of all his actions since sealing himself inside. Spike noticed she was carrying a tray in her magic, but from his angle sitting on the floor, he couldn’t see what was on it. “Second of all, I wished to visit you.”
“Oh,” Spike grunted again. He frowned a little. “I don’t get a say in it, then?”
“I did not mean offense,” Luna assured, pausing her approach but not really denying it.
“Whatever,” Spike mumbled, instead choosing to rack his brains, trying to determine how long he’d been in here now. “What time is it, anyway?”
“Not quite sunrise,” Luna replied. She tilted her head, regarding him critically. “You have not slept.”
“I’m not tired,” Spike replied while proceeding to rub groggily at his eyes.
Luna watched him do so for a second. “Of course,” she said, but sounding unconvinced. “You should still consider getting some sleep at some point though.”
Spike shrugged off her advice immediately. “I will when I feel tired,” he grumbled, ignoring the fact that he was clearly already there. Luna regarded him in silence for a long moment, her lips slightly pursed, so Spike nodded his head at the tray she carried. “What’s that?”
Luna glanced at the tray and floated it to him so he could see. “I thought you may like something to eat, so with the assistance of the changelings, I have taken the liberty of obtaining an early breakfast for you.” She moved closer to point out the foodstuffs arranged on the tray. “It is not elaborate of course, as this being the changeling hive, there are only so many foods edible to the likes of us accessible, but I think we were able to manage.” She pointed her hoof at each of the foods in turn. “There is a potato-like tuber, a couple of native mushrooms, a type of a fibrous but edible plant here that the changelings call hive’s purslane, and a wedge of cheese that the changelings make themselves.”
“Changeling cheese,” Spike noted aloud, regarding the faintly mint-green wedge of cheese as he accepted the tray into his claws.
Luna nodded. “You are already familiar with it, then,” she remarked aloud and regarded the wedge whimsically for a second too. “It reminds me a bit of camembert actually, except a bit more savory in flavor. I admit to being rather surprised to learn of it though…as they feed primarily on emotions, I was unaware the changelings made anything like it.”
“Just don’t think too hard about where they get the milk to make it,” Spike advised. He continued to regard the cheese for a long moment, reminiscing. “Thorax was a big fan of this cheese, though.” He heaved a heavy sigh, then, carrying the tray in his claws, he stood up. “Anyway…I’ll get out of your way.”
He moved away from the base of the mossy bed and over to the side wall of the chamber to sit back down, taking the tray with him, while positioning himself so to watch Luna proceed with paying her respects. Luna watched him move, actually wishing to speak a bit further with him first, but upon seeing that would have to wait, she turned her attention to the deceased changeling, stepping closer.
She heaved a sad sigh as she looked the fallen changeling over, turning visibly sullen. “So, we meet in person at last,” she mumbled aloud to Thorax. “I confess…this is not at all how I had hoped we would do so. But…having seen many of the same omens as you had…perhaps I should have foreseen it coming.” She went quiet for a moment after these cryptic words, closing her eyes. She drew in a shuddering breath before continuing. “I am deeply saddened and sorry that it had to come to this, young Thorax. Much like you had, I did not wish for anyone to die from these events. But that said…I am glad that the good your sacrifice has presented for both of our races suggests it will not be in vain. If you are still witness to that in anyway, I at least pray that you have few regrets for paying that price.” She drew another deep breath, opening her eyes again, in which her dismay for his passing was clear. “May you rest peaceably, Thorax, and…thank you for what good you were able to bring to us…regardless of the grave price that came with it.”
After these words, she went quiet, falling into a long moment of respectable silence in salute to the changeling’s passing. Afterwards though, she turned to face Spike again, the dragon still sitting to one side and idly watching her. She noted with a frown that he had set aside the tray of food without partaking of anything upon it. “Are you not going to eat?” she asked aloud, moving to approach him.
“I’m not hungry,” Spike replied simply.
Luna stopped to regard him seriously for another long moment. “Starving yourself will not bring him back, Spike,” she reminded seriously.
Spike frowned and his mostly amiable attitude towards her up to now vanished. “Are you finished?” he asked sternly, changing the subject.
Luna paused for a second then resumed approaching him. “Actually, I wish to speak with you further, if I may,” she said, moving to seat herself beside him. “I feel there is still much to discuss.”
Spike’s brow furrowed, and he bodily turned himself away from Luna. “If it’s about how oh-so-very sorry you are, lamenting about what happened, how wrong you all were, or anything to do with Twilight, then you can forget it,” he growled in warning.
“On the contrary,” Luna explained calmly, proceeding carefully. “I wish to tell you a tale…if you are willing to listen.”
Spike was quiet for a moment, but slowly turned back to glance at her, his expression a mixture of skepticism and curiosity. “What sort of tale?”
Luna made a small grin, heartened by Spike’s show of interest, even if small. “Well,” she began, “a great many years ago now, back in the early days of Equestria, things were not nearly as peaceable or without struggle as they are now. The country was still quite young and there were many things about governing that were not yet worked out. Celestia and I were still young and relatively new to roles as princesses, though we had certainly been ruling long enough to have earned the trust and respect of our subjects. Despite that, we were overwhelmed with the problems we all faced as a country and uncertain how we might overcome them. Starswirl the Bearded had vanished by this time, and without our beloved mentor aiding us through governing like we had at the time of our coronation, it often felt like we had no one else to turn to for aid.”
She fell silent for a second. Spike assumed it was to wait for his reaction to this, seeing if he would permit her to continue. Upon debating it briefly, he shrugged to himself and decided he might as well. “So what happened?”
“Well,” Luna said again as she continued. She licked her lips as if debating how to proceed. “There were two ponies that were at that time established at the heart of Equestrian politics of the day, eager to do their part to help as citizens of their still-fledging nation. They both had many grand and bold ideas about where the country could go, were eager to both share them and help make them a reality if possible, and pleaded for the chance to do so.”
“And I’m guessing you and Celestia granted them that chance.”
Luna smiled distantly. “But of course. So those two ponies, granted the opportunity to help guide the country into the future, set to work making their respective visions possible. And what bold and grand visions they were. It was hard to not be excited at the prospects they foresaw bringing to Equestria. The problem, however, was that their respective visions for Equestria were not mutually compatible. One viewed the country going one way, the other viewed it going a different way. Both were highly promising, but we could not have both. And as their visions pulled increasingly apart from each other, debates started to arise over which of the two plans would be best to pursue. Sides were chosen. The arguing grew to be quite fierce and at times vehement. It was hard not to be—the fate of Equestria rested on the outcome, or so it felt at the time. Finally it came down to a final and intense vote to decide which path the country would take. And after much arguing and conflict, the ponies spoke and selected the path they would take, abandoning the other. The victorious pony immediately set off to carry it out, abandoning anything to do with the other plan, there being little point in doing so now. The loser, however, felt jilted, dismayed that the plan that pony had taken so very long to conceive was being so completely dismissed without a second thought, and disagreed that the victorious plan really should win out.
“That pony attempted to bring new life to their plan, at first by trying to fuse it with the winning plan, then upon that failing, attempting to try and replace the winning plan with theirs, all in the belief that this plan was the one the country really needed. The pony had convinced themselves that any plan that wasn’t their own was only going to bring trouble. The two ponies had been close up to that point, so the losing pony tried to gather support from the winning pony, but the winning pony respectfully declined and only continued to pursue their own plans, dismissing the other’s entirely without giving it the attention the losing pony felt it deserved. Becoming increasingly frustrated though, the losing pony refused to give up, continuing to try and force their losing plan upon the populace, trying to gather supporters. As the years went by, it caused the losing pony to grow increasingly more and more bitter, angry, and distant from all around them…and all in vain. Their plans were no closer to coming to fruition than they had before, and by now the winning plans were well underway towards implementation. Indeed, those plans were proving very beneficial to the country as hoped, and the losing pony was urged to accept it.” Luna’s tone gradually turned distant as she continued relating the tale. “However, that pony refused. Anyone that would not accept their views was now considered a rival, and decided such a thing was intolerable. The pony’s continued attempts were only getting quite embittered and destructive over it and only causing harm for all…most especially themselves. There was no way it would end well unless the pony realized that continuing on down this path would only bring them more suffering, not the victory they desired.”
Spike snorted, believing he saw where Luna was going with this and why she thought the tale related to him. “So what did he do about it?” he asked wearily, urging Luna to just get to the moral of everybody living happily ever after and how he could too if he just did the same, so he could go on with telling Luna precisely why he did not agree.
Luna, however, surprised him. For a long moment, she did not reply, turning very withdrawn and her eyes vacant as she recalled distant memories. When she finally did, it was not to speak the outcome Spike was expecting. “She became Nightmare Moon.”
Spike felt a chill run down his spine, eyes widening as he realized these weren’t just any two ponies Luna spoke of. He twisted around and gaped at her, who remained distant and sullen, no doubt recalling unsavory memories of the event. He of course knew all about the rise and fall of Nightmare Moon, but this was the first time he was hearing the tale uttered from the mare herself.
Luna took a deep and sorrowful breath before proceeding. “Spike, I know that after what has happened you feel extremely bitter, and by all accounts you are quite entitled to,” she remarked. “But that bitterness will never bring you anything, and most certainly not the closure you so desperately need. It is easy to lose yourself to that bitterness, to convince yourself that it will all still work out that way, but I promise you…that time will never come. If you continue down that path, you will only live to see yourself become a monster doing harm far greater than any wrongs you feel were done to you…far too late to do anything to prevent it, or take it back.”
“So, what, you’re saying I’d eventually become like a…Nightmare Spike…in the end?” Spike asked incredulously, the words blurting out before what Luna was telling had sunken in fully.
“Not per se. No one needs to become a Nightmare anything to still make grave mistakes in their anger and hatred if they choose to succumb to it.”
“I’m not.”
Luna gave him a cold glance. “Then your behavior has been doing little to convince me otherwise, Spike.”
Spike opened his mouth to angrily deny it, but then caught himself as he realized he would only be proving Luna right. Shocked by that thought, it forced him to fall quiet.
Seeing this, Luna continued. “I do not say this to be mean, of course, but I know very well the power of that temptation…and for your sake, I plead that you fight it off instead.” She took a deep breath. “If I wish to achieve anything with all of this, Spike, it is to spare you from reaching the point of having to live the rest of your natural life knowing that you had ever let your anger cause you to do such a horrendous thing.”
Spike continued to gape at her, stunned by this adamant argument Luna was giving. For a long moment, he simply sat there, trying to process what it meant. Soon, his mind entered a conflict where it couldn’t agree whether Luna was absolutely right or whether remaining bitter like he deeply wanted would be preferred. The latter was proving very hard to let go with Thorax’s body still lying there in the room in front of him, and he found himself staring longingly at his fallen friend while his mind whirled on.
“Luna, he was the greatest friend I have ever had, more than any I’ve had before in my life,” Spike spoke abruptly. Tears started to form in his eyes as he gazed at the deceased changeling, his voice starting to crack. “…and he’s dead!”
“Yes,” Luna acknowledged seriously as she took him by the chin and turned his head to face her. “But he did not die in vain. He died, saving your life, saving my life, saving all of our lives, saving all of Equestria, potentially saving numerous other countries, and even saving his own kind by showing them a better path. And yes, he paid the gravest of prices to do it, but it is still a great victory for everything he lived, died, and believed in. Are you really willing to take that all away from him just because you can’t accept that this is what needed to happen to do it?”
Spike gazed at her, tears dripping down his cheeks, before he wrenched his head away so to gaze back at Thorax again. Slowly, he closed his eyes, knowing there was only one answer he could give. “No,” he admitted in agreement. Slowly, he started shaking his head. “But…everything I did these past four and a half moons was to prevent him from facing any fate like this…only to be forced to sit to one side and watch it all be for nothing.”
“And I firmly believe that Thorax would disagree,” Luna stressed, “because your actions still gave him four and a half moons of your friendship, something I know he cherished greatly, and I may not have gotten to know him anywhere near as well as you did, Spike…but I don’t think for a second that he would have given that up for anything.” She again gently turned the little dragon to face her. “And I don’t think you would either. No matter how it may have ended…to the both of you, I think that friendship still made it all worth it more…don’t you?”
Spike looked at her, weeping, for a long moment, then he again twisted away, averting his gaze from the princess of the night and continued to mournfully regard Thorax lying on the mossy bed. Luna sat and sadly watched him during that time, hoping Spike would choose to resume the discussion, or at least show some sign she was getting through to him. But even as the tears the dragon shed slowed and vanished, Spike remained silent and spoke no further.
Luna breathed a heavy sigh, closing her eyes as she hung her head for a moment. “Very well, then,” she concluded softly and rose to her hooves, turning for the exit. She was soon arriving at the door and debating whether she wished to teleport back out of the room or simply use the door this time, wondering if it would really matter at this point.
“Irritati.”
Luna blinked and twisted around to look back at Spike. “I beg your pardon?” she asked, confused.
“Irritati,” Spike repeated. “It’s a changeling word…it means ‘embittered.’” He sniffed and rubbed at his nose with the back of his claws before turning to look at the princess, explaining. “Changelings typically feed only on positive emotions, but they have the capability of feeding on any emotion at all, including negative emotions. The reason they don’t, however, is because feeding on such negative emotions is addictive, making them become unstable emotionally and mentally, eventually becoming aggressive and violent without reason…only to end up hurting themselves and those around them. They call those that are like this irritati.” Spike’s gaze went back to Thorax. He placed one set of claws upon his chest. “I’m not a changeling,” he continued softly, sadly recalling what the changeling had said to him when they first spoke of this, “but bottling up my own anger and hatred like this is poisoning me too, and if I keep doing it…I’m going to end up hurting myself too…in ways far more painful than any physical injury.” He let his claws fall into his lap again as he continued to gaze at Thorax’s body. “He’d want me to let it go and just move on…wouldn’t he?”
Luna studied the dragon for a second. “I believe he would, yes,” she agreed. Slowly, she trotted back to Spike’s side. “I know this is the first time you’re dealing with the death of someone so close to you, and that is not easy to deal with. It never is. And I fear it never will. But it is simply something we all still must accept.”
Spike was quiet for a second. “And if we don’t?”
Luna made a small and forlorn grin, not out of happiness, but because she could relate. “Undoing death is something every living thing upon our world has wished to do at some point. Some of them have seriously sought some way to do it, either through science, magic, or a combination of both. I must admit there was a time when even I kept up with such studies back before my banishment. After all, I have faced death many times myself, and it has never any easier to deal with every time.” She sat down beside Spike again. “But I’ve since come to realize that, no matter what, death will always be unconquerable, at least in this plane of our existence, and sadly no amount of magic can undo it. Some have found ways to fake it, but it is never a true restoration of life for the dead. Once dead, the deceased are not going to come back—the very mind and soul that had once made up that being is gone now, leaving the physical world for realms beyond and unknown, or so I have always liked to believe.”
She reached out and wrapped a hoof around Spike. “I’m telling you all of this, Spike,” she continued, “because it is important you recognize and accept it, or you will never be able to begin the healing process and come to terms with his death, instead losing yourself foolishly and fruitlessly chasing after something you can never have again. I’ve seen it happen before to others, of all species, who were twice as strong and knowledgeable as you. In the end, it is simply better to cherish that you ever had something so great in your life at all.” She leaned closer. “I know he was a dear friend, Spike. But he wouldn’t want your life to end just because his did. That wasn’t why he gave himself up in the first place…you know that.”
Spike didn’t speak for a very long moment, mulling upon her words. “Luna,” he began slowly, “the pony in your story…did she ever find the peace she was looking for?”
Luna gazed at him for a moment. “Yes,” she replied earnestly, blinking back a tear, “in time.”
Spike nodded to himself. “Okay,” he mumbled. He let himself tip over until he was leaning on Luna’s side, the princess wrapping her hoof tighter around the grieving dragon. When he spoke next, it was directed at the fallen changeling before them. “For you then, Thorax.”
The two remained silent after that. There was nothing more that needed to be said.
At some point Spike dozed off, falling into a much needed deep sleep. It was blissfully dreamless, and Spike suspected Princess Luna had something to do with that. Upon waking though some hours later, Luna was no longer in the room, having left him to sleep without disturbance. Nevertheless, he felt rejuvenated and more alert, so much so that the past several hours seemed like a daze by comparison. He still felt grave sorrow for Thorax’s passing, and one of the first things he did upon waking was to stand beside the changeling’s body, lamenting his passing, but somehow, through means he couldn’t explain, he felt a bit more prepared to face the no doubt grievous road still ahead of him.
More immediately, he also felt hungry. As Luna had left the tray of food behind when she departed, no doubt in hopes that he would take the time to eat it, he helped himself to the food, downing it all ravenously. At first he was going to eat all but the wedge of changeling cheese, not having forgotten what had gone into making it, but his empty stomach demanding filling eventually won out and he ate it anyway. The savory taste reminded him of the Thornton Cheese that Thorax would make back in Vanhoover, yet not entirely, the changeling cheese still being notably different in terms of texture and strength in taste. He quickly could see why Thorax had been so very fond of it and so determined to try and recreate it, but then again he had thought the same thing after tasting Thornton Cheese for the first time.
After eating, he remained in the room, quietly keeping watch over the body of his friend, wondering to himself what to do next. He knew that, as much as he wanted to, he couldn’t stay here forever—sooner or later he was going to have to get up and do something else besides sit there and mope. But he put it off until finally, as the morning following Thorax’s death began in earnest, the choice was made for him and two reformed changelings entered the room with Spike’s permission.
“If you are ready,” the first of the two changelings told Spike, “we would like to proceed with the final steps of preparing Thorax for burial.”
The thought gave Spike pause, turning to regard his fallen friend with a heavy heart. The idea of burying Thorax had such finality to it…he knew it would signify a closing farewell to his dearly departed friend. He didn’t feel nearly ready for it…but he also suspected that, were it left up to him, he never would be. He looked over his friend lying on the bed of moss for a long moment, before taking in a deep breath and bracing for the step he knew he had to take. “Yeah,” he said. “Yeah, you guys can go ahead.”
“Will you be staying to watch, as before?” the changeling then asked.
Tempting as it was, Spike immediately shook his head, figuring the preparations probably wouldn’t bring him any comfort anyway—he was loosely familiar with some of the steps generally required. “No,” he said aloud, stepping away from Thorax. “I’ll leave you two to it and won’t get in your way.”
“Are you certain?” the changeling pressed as Spike turned to leave, no doubt very aware of how emotionally trying this all was for the dragon.
“Yeah,” Spike said as he paused at the door, wistfully looking back at his friend. “Besides…I’ll get to see him for one more time at the burial, won’t I?”
The changeling grinned sadly. “I suppose so,” he said, then nodded respectfully. “Very well. We will make an announcement throughout the hive when the burial is ready to begin. I imagine a great many will want to join you for it.”
“I hope so,” Spike said, and with a final nod to the two changelings, he turned and exited the room. Though he did so very self-conscious about leaving Thorax’s side, he still felt confident this choice was the right one to make, no matter how difficult.
After he left the room though, he quickly found he didn’t really have anywhere else to go…and no real idea how to get anywhere in the hive even if he did. So instead he chose to wander about the hive randomly, allowing his mind to lapse into deep thought. Of chief focus was what he would do once Thorax was buried and where he would go. It was still a difficult subject for him to face, but he was perfectly aware he couldn’t ignore it forever. Thorax was gone, but Spike wasn’t. Like it or not, his life would trudge on, and he knew he needed to prepare for whatever lay ahead still, no matter how challenging.
So he mulled upon the matter as he wandered aimlessly about the hive, occasionally crossing paths with other changelings that greeted him as he passed. He didn’t think much about his wandering, but as it turned out, he wasn’t the only one up and aimlessly walking about the hive…which he saw when he rounded the corner and stepped into a corridor the same time Twilight Sparkle happened to enter from the other end. Both abruptly halted upon seeing each other and waited for the other to react. Neither of them did though and instead they simply stood there, staring the other down in silence. Twilight did so with clear apprehension, fearing Spike’s wrath towards her. Spike, however, simply watched her without expression, waiting for her to make the first move.
Gradually, perhaps realizing this, she did. “Um…out and about, huh?” she remarked softly. It was weak and lacked genuineness. But Spike simply nodded in reply, so Twilight continued. “Heading anywhere in particular?”
“No,” Spike replied. He looked Twilight over for a second, noting she had a still fairly fresh cut on her left temple and briefly wondered about it. “You?”
“No,” Twilight replied back. “I’m just…wandering…thinking.”
Spike nodded to himself. “Likewise.”
Twilight was quiet for a second. “You’re still furious with me…aren’t you?”
Spike averted his gaze for a second, not seeing how answering that truthfully would help. “I’m still trying to give you the chance to say whatever it is you need to right now, Twilight,” he eventually said instead.
Twilight nodded to herself a bit, taking a few cautious steps towards him and her face falling. “I’m sorry, Spike,” she said softly, as earnestly as she possibly could, “Truly and deeply sorry.”
Spike’s gaze dropped to the floor. “That isn’t going to bring him back, Twilight,” he pointed out, his voice cold and distant.
“I know,” Twilight replied. “But for your sake…I dearly wish it could.”
“How can you even begin to claim that?” Spike hissed suddenly. “Everything you’ve done only suggests you didn’t care about him at all. Twilight, last night you couldn’t even call him by name!”
Twilight went silent for a moment, averting her gaze in shame. “A lingering bad habit I’d developed,” she confessed.
Spike wasn’t swayed. “Don’t give me excuses, Twilight.”
“Spike, what I said last night…I…I didn’t mean disrespect to you or your friend, Thorax, or to make you think that I…I hadn’t…” Twilight trailed off for a second then started again. “I just…I’d felt I needed to explain myself, and…I spoke without thinking…” she trailed off again, squeezing her eyes shut. “…no…no, you’re right, I can’t try to justify it…because the long and short of it is that there is nothing I can say that will make up for what I did. I made a grave mistake and you ended up paying needlessly for it. After everything I’ve done to you…I can’t possibly blame you for hating me.”
Spike looked at her wearily for a long moment then heaved a heavy sigh, averting his gaze again. “It’s not that I hate you, Twilight,” he spoke abruptly, drawing Twilight’s attention back onto him, “Not really, at least. I’m just…extremely, extremely, disappointed in you.” He returned his gaze on her, his eyes sad. “What happened at the Crystal Empire…that was when I needed your support, then more than ever before…” he shook his head, “…and you weren’t there for me…it was like what I was trying to tell you meant…nothing…and it left me wondering if you were ever really there for me to begin with.”
“I know,” Twilight admitted, nodding her head. “At least…I do now.”
Spike’s eyes narrowed. “Now is entirely too late, Twilight.”
“I know.” Twilight bit her lip. “You were right, Spike…you were always right, but I refused to see it. And I ended up pushing you away, risking your life needlessly repeatedly, hurt pony relations with everybody, turned Equestria topsy-turvy, accused innocent beings…and helped get somebody killed.” Now Twilight shook her head, suddenly furious at herself. “Sweet Celestia, I’m such a fool!”
“Then why did you do it, Twilight?” Spike demanded firmly, stepping closer to her. “It’s the one question that keeps running through my head again and again that doesn’t have an answer. Why in Equestria did you do this?”
“Because I was scared!” Twilight snapped back. Then, taking a deep breath and closing her eyes in shame, she continued on in a calmer voice. “When you looked at Thorax, you obviously saw a friend…but when I looked at him…all I could recall was every past time I had encountered a changeling…and how none of those encounters had ended well.”
“Then it was a racist thing,” Spike deduced, feeling a bit vindicated. “You wouldn’t trust him simply because he was a changeling, judging him because of the past actions of other changelings, ignoring completely who he was as an individual.”
“But there’s even more to it than that,” Twilight continued anxiously, cutting Spike short before he could continue with his criticisms. Her gaze wandered about aimlessly as she sought how to best explain. “You of course remember when the changelings tried to invade Canterlot?”
Spike nodded. “I assume you were afraid something like that was going to happen again with Thorax,” he deduced coldly.
“Well…yes and no,” Twilight admitted. She again paused. It was clear saying all of this was very hard and uncomfortable for her, so Spike didn’t rush her. But he also waited expectantly for her to finish too, not about to let her get out of saying it. “It was more…when I had caught on that something was amiss about Cadance…before she was revealed to actually be Queen Chrysalis…I tried to do something about it, to bring it to everyone’s attention and stop things before harm could be done…but no one would listen to me. And for a moment, I was stripped of the support and companionship of all my friends, family, and my mentor all because one changeling had swayed them so thoroughly they couldn’t see what I saw…and hundreds nearly suffered greatly because of it. Because of just one changeling, Spike. I saw the warning signs and could’ve prevented it…but everyone turned their backs on me instead…leaving me alone and feeling helpless…only for a matter of a couple of hours…but it still felt like an eternity to me.”
A moment of silence fell then Spike folded his arms, resolutely gazing at Twilight. “That was precisely how I felt when this all went down, Twilight,” he reminded coldly. “Don’t you see that you had only done the same exact thing to me?”
“But then you know what I was feeling when Thorax appeared!” Twilight stressed determinedly, her apprehension suddenly forgotten in her determination to make this clear. “Spike, I was beyond terrified that what happened in the Canterlot invasion was happening again then and there at the Crystal Empire, and it seemed to me I was already losing you to the sway of a changeling…I was determined to at least make sure it got absolutely no further than that.” Twilight’s eyes turned frightened. “I did not want to be put in that same sort of situation again, where I lose all who I care about to the smooth-talking of a changeling…I was desperate to avoid that…” she averted her gaze yet again, “…clearly to the point of excessiveness.”
“Yes!” Spike hissed, and jabbed a claw furiously downwards as he went on to make his point. “You were so desperate to spare yourself that you ended up doing precisely the same thing to ME! In this instance, Twilight, you were the changeling you were so afraid of!” He shook his head, fuming for a moment, before, while forcing himself to calm down, he leaned against the nearby wall of the corridor and hung his head. “Twilight, all you’re doing here is proving to me more just how very flawed your reasons were in all of this…and just how oblivious you’ve been…” he squeezed his eyes shut, continuing on in a whisper, “…or might still be now.”
Twilight went quiet for a long moment, but eventually she took a deep breath and continued on. “Spike, you asked why I did why I did…and that’s why,” she reminded gently. “Everything that I’ve done since what happened in the Crystal Empire, has all been a…very misguided attempt to try and stop what I feared would only drive me apart from those I cared about. I won’t pretend like any of it was right of me to do because I recognize now that it wasn’t. Yet while I know that it hasn’t seemed like it, Spike…that still always included you. So when you started siding with someone I knew to be a changeling over everything else, rejecting everything I was trying to say…”
“Then why. Did you. Let. Me. Go?” Spike demanded slowly and deliberately through clenched teeth. He put strong emphasis on the words of the sentence as he slowly turned his head to look at the mare with expectant eyes. “If you really feared for me…falling away…like that, then when I told you that if you banish Thorax, I was going with him…why did you let me go?”
Twilight hesitated. “You made your intentions very clear…would it have mattered if I did, Spike?”
“I was bluffing, Twilight,” Spike growled. “I was just trying to blackmail you into not banishing Thorax.”
“Clearly not though,” Twilight argued back, “because you still acted on that threat, making it clear you meant what you said. You never even tried to come back, did you?”
Spike stared at her with cold eyes. “By then you had already made it clear to me that I wasn’t wanted.”
Twilight stared back at him for a moment, but her resolve quickly caved again and she lowered her gaze, her shame surging upon her like a crushing weight once again. “Look, we can argue this in circles for days and still get nowhere,” she said, cutting the argument short. “It was the same then, too. By that time, I…I didn’t foresee anything good from trying to argue it further…no one did. You were so fiercely determined to side with Thorax that…we feared any attempt to force you to stay away from him…was only going to push you further away, demonize us even more in your eyes. We thought…I thought…that if we let you go…that would still leave us enough of a good standing to…to try again and convince you to come back…when the chance next arose.”
“And what exactly was that next chance you were thinking of, Twilight?” Spike asked. “I’ve already been told that you and the others still thought that Thorax had this whole swarm of other changelings hiding somewhere to support him, waiting to take us in, but you must realize you had no proof of that, and Thorax and I both told you there were no such changelings! We were both acting alone.” He pointed a claw vaguely in the direction of the Frozen North. “You realize we both could’ve frozen to death out there in that wilderness, right? By sending us away, you could’ve very well just been sending us to our deaths. In fact, that’s precisely why I did leave! Because I was scared to death that was the fate awaiting Thorax unless he had someone he could count on…and as I was the only one willing to do it…” he trailed off, leaving his thought unfinished, but clear.
By this time, Twilight had teared up, quietly weeping. “But I really, truly, believed you were in no danger of that, Spike,” she confessed softly. “I really did think there were other changelings waiting to snatch you up, and while that was still an awful prospect to even consider…I knew the changelings would still keep you alive and safe at least. Shining thought for certain that if we let them have that apparent victory, it’d let them back off and drop their guard down, and then he could go out with the Crystal Guard to capture them and secure you back and…” she let out a miserable sob, and despite himself, Spike felt his anger cool a little at the sight. “…when we realized nothing was out there though…that you two had instead fled the area entirely…Spike, I think that was when I first began to realize just how disastrously we had messed up…I didn’t want to admit it…but after that point…all I really wanted to do, was set things right and get you back, where I knew you were safe again.” She abruptly let out a frustrated yell, and angrily stomped a hoof on the ground. “I’m such an idiot…it was all there…right in front of me…but I…I just…how could I have been so oblivious to something so obvious?”
Spike was quiet for a second. He slowly lowered himself onto the ground, seating himself with his back resting against the corridor wall, his eyes going unfocused as he turned the matter over in his head. “You were blind,” he remarked aloud, recalling the words one changeling had spoken to him while paying their respects to Thorax, “but now you see.”
Twilight watched him through her tear-filled eyes for a second. Slowly, she started to nod. “Yes,” she echoed, “but now I see.” She closed her eyes for a long moment, trying to clear them of tears and sniffling to herself as she worked to calm herself down. She was only semi-successful, but it was enough that she took another step closer to Spike, speaking humbly and with confidence. “Spike, look…in a way, I was bluffing too, because I didn’t expect you to actually make good on your claim to follow Thorax, and…even when you did, a part of me still expected you to come back…once you saw for yourself what I foolishly believed was the truth. Further, I never thought both of you would actually try and flee until I was told that was precisely what happened.”
“Do you really think that helps your side of things any?” Spike asked with a small amount of spite, but mostly he was just making a point.
One Twilight saw as more than valid. “Of course not,” she admitted. “It’s just…I didn’t understand…I didn’t appreciate…what Thorax meant to you…much less understand that he was being such a genuine friend to you.” She stopped to take a deep breath, bracing herself. “But now…I understand why you did leave. It’s like you said…I hadn’t given you any reason to think you were welcome there anymore…something I now regret deeply. Spike, with every fiber of my body, I swear to you…I never meant to give you that impression.” She licked her lips again then pressed on. “And as for Thorax and my bias against him…I think I understand where my thinking went wrong. I had wanted to compare the situation with what happened at the invasion in Canterlot, but…in reality…the real reason I lost support like I did in Canterlot was never because of any changeling…it was because of how misguided I was in trying to address the problem…a mistake I only repeated here, because I failed to learn the lesson when I should’ve the first time.” She paused, watching Spike and trying to judge his reaction to all of this, but there was little change in the dragon’s composure. “Spike, I’m not trying to justify what I did, and honestly, I don’t really think there’s anything I can do to fix this anymore…but it’s been pointed out to me that…just giving up, succumbing to fate and doing nothing isn’t going to change anything either. So…if it helps at all…I promise you, after everything that’s happened…I’m going to try everything in my power to keep myself from making that same mistake again, and try and warn others who might do as I did. Hopefully…it’ll prevent anyone else from suffering like you and Thorax have.” She watched Spike for a second again, but still didn’t see any change in his distant expression. She sighed heavily, sinking into her guilt and regret yet again. “You still blame me for his death,” she observed heavily.
“Absolutely,” Spike replied without an iota of hesitation. He sighed, closing his eyes for a second too. “I mean…the blame’s not all on you…I recognize there were lots of other factors that led to it too. And I see Chrysalis as the actual murderer, so for her sake, she had better hope that she never crosses paths with me again, or…or I don’t know what I’ll do.” Spike shook his head for a second. “But there is still no doubt in my mind, Twilight…if you hadn’t done what you did…he’d still be here, alive.”
Twilight shuffled her hooves heavily, fighting shameful tears again. “I’m sorry, Spike,” she said again. “But…there’s nothing I can do to change that now.”
“No one can,” Spike agreed heavily. He teared up too, and suddenly the anger and fury vanished, revealing the hurt little dragon he was. “That’s probably what hurts the most about it. At the end of the day, Twilight, I don’t want redemption, revenge, apologies, or anything like that.” He let out a sob before continuing on, choking on the words as he spoke them. “I just want my friend back.”
Twilight averted her gaze sadly. “And here I am,” she murmured darkly to herself, “the supposed princess of friendship, taking that friend away.” She shook her head. “I’m such a fool.”
“Yes, you are,” Spike agreed. He fell quiet for a second, leaning his head back in thought. “But then maybe I am too.”
Surprised, Twilight looked back at him, blinking owlishly. “Spike?”
Spike didn’t open his eyes or reply back for a moment. “When I left the Crystal Empire with Thorax,” he began slowly, “I also gave up you…on everyone…except myself and Thorax. And because of that, I turned my back on any chance of fixing things.” He sighed heavily. “I had my chances to end this sooner too, Twilight…opportunities to seek to set the record straight, make peace, or even seek additional help…but I turned them all away…refused to even consider them. I was just so angry…I refused to believe I could be anything else ever again.” He let out another sob, somewhat suppressed this time. “What’s worse is that Thorax saw what I was doing ages ago, but…bless his heart…he was too good a friend to try too hard to call me out on it…so when you get right down to it, even I didn’t listen to Thorax as much as I should’ve…and as I result, I just let things keep getting worse, and worse, and worse…and now here we both are…wishing we had never let our petty grudges get so bad. If we had…maybe things would have been different.” He opened his eyes and gazed mournfully at Twilight. “We were both blinded by hate, Twilight…but at least you hadn’t been so blind as to stop looking for a solution…whereas I was.”
Chilled yet humbled, Twilight simply stood there in silence for a long moment, staring at Spike. “Spike, you had more than enough just cause to think that way at the time,” she reasoned. “You were simply being realistic.”
“Was I?” Spike challenged. “Everybody is always dismissing ideas or calls for such peace and friendship among all because they’ve all conditioned themselves to think that such a high ideal is too unrealistic. But now I’m wondering if Thorax was always completely right. What if such thing is much more within our reach than we all allow ourselves to think, and we just aren’t reaching it, because we aren’t letting ourselves actually try and obtain it?” He shook his head, looking away. “Whatever the case, Thorax was still right about one thing…the best way to defeat an enemy isn’t to beat them down until they submit, it’s to make that enemy into a friend, because you can’t have enemies when all you have are friends.” He sighed. “We just didn’t listen to him soon enough…and now he’s gone.”
Twilight gazed at him quietly for a long moment. Slowly, she closed the distance between them finally and sat herself down beside him. “I can’t imagine how awful you’re feeling right now, Spike,” she murmured softly. “You did so much trying to protect him…only to have him die anyway. It must seem like you failed him.”
Spike gazed at the floor with sad, wet eyes. “It’s not entirely untrue,” he confessed. “But that’s just it, Twilight. Even with all of that hanging over me…when I look back at everything that we did together these long four and half moons…” slowly, he grinned a little, a warm and cheery small grin that batted away a little of the gloom seeking to engulf him, “even if I had known then what I know now, that the whole adventure was only all going to end in his death…I would still do it all exactly the same, because, no matter what…those four moons I had with Thorax were the greatest four moons of my life… even with every bad thing weighing on my mind during it all…and even if it meant he would get to live in the end…I wouldn’t give that up. Not for anything, Twilight, not ever.” He was tearing up now, but confusingly, he suddenly let out a laugh at the same time, realizing Luna had been right. “And because of all that, I intend to cherish those four moons I had with Thorax as my friend always and forever, never forgetting one iota of it…because to me…even though I now have to face the terrible pain of losing him and the frightening prospect of living life without him…somehow…it was all still worth it.”
Twilight watching him for a moment, unable to share his baffling cheer. “I still wish I could do more to take that pain away, Spike,” she murmured aloud. “And I never wanted to put you in such a painful situation in the first place.” She sheepishly played with her hoof for a second. “I know it seems meaningless…but I really am sorry, Spike…deeply so.”
“I know you are,” Spike acknowledged, his brief flare of cheer fading again. He slowly shook his head. “But the forgiveness you’re looking for, Twilight…I’m sorry…I just can’t give that to you…not right now. I’m still not sure if I ever can. Never mind Thorax…you hurt me. Neither of us can ignore that. And no matter what…I think that’s always going to stand in our way.” He sighed heavily. “I know what you want, Twilight…you want things to go back to the way they were before. In a lot of ways, I do too. I do miss the old days, Twilight, when I was the assistant trying to help the neurotic princess of friendship trying to make the world a better place…”
“You’re more than that to me, Spike,” Twilight said. Her voice caught suddenly and she started tear up as she struggled through her next statement. “I know I never said it very often…but I always have considered you…like a sibling to me.”
But Spike shook his head sadly. “No, Twilight,” he said slowly. “I had a sibling…but he’s gone now.” Twilight blinked once, but then closed her eyes and bowed her head, crushed to hear this. Despite the sadness it was clearly bringing her though, Spike continued on. “I’m sorry, Twilight,” he said. He spoke in a very level and stone-faced manner outwardly, but inwardly he felt, clogged within his body, a deep and massive amount of sadness for having to say this that he just couldn’t express fully. “I know it’s painful for the both of us to admit it…but we’re not siblings, and perhaps we never were. I think we both know that, if that was ever really true, neither of us would have ever let this happen.”
Twilight was quietly weeping now, if anything only even more dismayed to hear this, but even through all of that she was slowly nodding her head in agreement. “I do,” she whispered finally, “but that doesn’t change how I feel about it.”
Spike slowly shook his head. “Unfortunately, it’s not going to change how I feel about it either, Twilight.”
A long moment of silence fell between them in which the two sadly sat and mulled upon this admission, realizing the scope of the great rift that had divided them and how impossible it seemed it could ever be closed again.
Which was probably what led Spike to say what he did next. “But I don’t think that means we have to be enemies still,” he spoke abruptly.
Twilight turned her heard to stare at him, eyes suddenly alight with the smallest flares of hope. To his mild surprise, Spike felt heartened seeing that hope in Twilight again, no matter how small.
But he took in a deep breath and kept speaking, turning stern and dark. “But you have to promise me, Twilight…that you will never do something like this to me, or anyone, ever again.”
“I promise, I promise I will, Spike,” Twilight immediately vowed, almost too quickly, but her eagerness to have that chance to prove herself was quite clear. “I swear to you, I have absolutely no desire to make this same mistake again, not after all the damage I’ve seen it cause, damage I could’ve prevented. I swear it on my life, Spike.”
Spike remained uncertain though. “Do you?” he challenged firmly.
So Twilight took it a step further, proceeding to mime out a familiar motion. “Cross my heart, hope to fly, stick a cupcake in my eye,” she recited the rhyme solemnly. She then lowered her hoof and regarded Spike watching her. “I foolishly nearly pushed you away once before, Spike. I have no want to do anything that could do that to you again.”
“FOREVER!” the voice of Pinkie Pie unexpectedly echoed out from somewhere else in the hive, startling the dragon and alicorn as they twisted their heads around, peering down the corridor in the direction the shout came from.
No sooner had Pinkie’s shout echoed out though did the voice of Rarity suddenly and loudly follow. “PINKIE! YOU MADE ME SPILL WATER ALL DOWN MY FRONT!”
The two sat and stared as the echoes of the random exclamations faded away, needing a second of silence for it to sink in. But it was shattered when Spike involuntarily snorted and suddenly the two were in hysterics, the peals of their laughter ringing off the walls of the resinous hive corridor. It was cathartic, releasing. For a moment all the grief and pain and sadness they had been weighed down with was swept away, gone from sight, and all that remained was the joy of laughter. It got Spike thinking about better times, when there was no animosity between him and Twilight, and longing for the days when they could hang about, joking and laughing like this. It with that thought that made him realize that those days were over, not coming back, and just how much he was going to miss that.
And in moments, his laughter had transformed into sobbing. Whether out of realizing the same things herself, or simply picking up on Spike’s emotions, Twilight joined in with the sobbing shortly thereafter. For several long moments the two just sat there, sitting apart from each other and weeping over the situation they had put themselves in.
“Oh, Twilight,” Spike moaned as he leaned his head back against the wall, “just what have we both lost from all of this?”
Twilight averted her gaze before replying. “Too much, Spike,” she replied. She stopped to wipe at her eyes with one hoof, but it didn’t help as she kept on shedding new tears afterwards. She looked back at the dragon, the sorrow clear on her face. “I’m so sorry,” she repeated again. She leaned her head back against the wall too, closing her eyes and heaving a heavy sigh as she fought to regain her composure. She lapsed into thought for a moment, but then spoke again. “Will you ever be able to forgive me?”
Spike was quiet for a second. “I don’t know, Twilight,” he admitted truthfully. His gaze turned distant as he thought of Thorax, longing for his dearly departed friend. He felt his heart flutter sadly at the memories and he was forced to sigh, bracing himself. “But…I think he’d want me to at least try.”
Twilight watched him for a moment. “Tell me about him,” she requested gently. “Please.”
Spike processed the request for a second before slowly nodding his head. “Okay.”
And while Twilight quietly listened, he began to relate to her everything he had ever known about the changeling named Thorax.
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Hey! You stole from my comment!
I'm just waiting for the "Boo! Spike 'forgives' Twilight" comments so that I can give them a "Thorax is disappointed" reply, lol.
Still can't wait for the other characters, especially Fly Leaf.
That said, welcome back evil man and Darth Vader is Luke Skywalker's father.
*sees the end of the blog*
Oh right, spoiler alert, evil man.
I think this is supposed to be animosity.
Don't worry, I know nothing about the leaks either lol. But anyway, this was good. I wasn't expecting that twist with the pony turning out to be Princess Luna in that story, so that was good. This was a very cathartic chapter, where the bitterness and anger is beginning to ebb away and let the pain be healed to the point where one can move on. I'm glad that Spike was honest with how he's uncertain if he can ever forgive Twilight, and that he never really saw her as a sibling. All and all, wonderful chapter. I suppose all that's left now is to really, maybe have things addressed with Shining and Cadence; I'd like to see what their up to.
everyone knows the saying that the hatchet has been buried, but i feel here there hatchet is still above ground, but at least the hole has been dug.
what a neat chapter, though i disagree with lunas comparison, but she tried
This chapter was deeply satisfying.
An AWESOME!
And dammit, you made me cry again!!! Xd
I'm crying right now, that was beautiful.
YEAH! I WAS ALMOST RIGHT! WOOOOOOOO!
Here's to hoping for that good old reconciliation!
Nice chapter, by the way.
I think this is the right way to go with these two. Not complete forgiveness, but not an undying hatred, either.
The biggest question on my mind now is... where is Spike going to go? Clearly not back to staying with Twilight. To Canterlot to stay with Luna and Celestia? Stay in the hive to lead the changelings since they don't have a leader? Hmmm...
Addition 1/2hr later: And what about Fly Leaf? And how is Trixie going to handle this going forward in terms of her relationship with Twilight if she feels the same way Spike does?
So many questions...
Is Luna really right about her say in all of this?
You know, I've seen several comments in the past, saying they hope Spike doesn't forgive Twilight in the end. But... I hope he does, because that's what this story is about. Forgiveness, even for those who seem the least deserving. Seeing the best in people who have done horrible things. It doesn't seem right to me for this story not end on some sort of forgiving note. But I suppose we'll see how this story goes.
I've been following this story for a very long time. Since April 2017, if I remember correctly. I love this story. I'm not as much of a fan of MLP anymore. And there are very, very few fan fics I read (usually just one-shots I find when checking the site now and then). But this is one story I continue to follow, since I think it's so damn good. I'll be sad when it ends, it's been a wonderful journey. But I must congratulate you on writing such a wonderful story. Well done.
She didn't tell him she's revoking her "Friendship Princess" title though.......
and now comes the part where Twilight finally feels the impact of her actions after Spike said they're not siblings
that's the brutal fucking blow she needed to completely straighten her mindset and realize how badly she royally fucked up the poor dragon's life/mind
you can try your best, Twilight, but you won't succeed in trying to reset everything
there are no more save points
you're on your own
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Oh man.
Crazy.
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I fail to see how a victory makes death any less tragic.
i realize you wrote yourself into a corner, but both the part with Luna and his treatment to twilight come across as shallow. Luna used compeltley circular logic to accomplish her means, she claimed to come there not to blame him or give him a lecture about anything, but she did so within the same breath, the underlying message of her part comes across 'i won't tell you how to act, but this is exactly how you should act." and really twilight's comes across as her still attempting to defend her flawed reasoning. it still feels like twilight's getting away with it.
That was so freaking cute. Are we near the end?!?! Because it feels like the end is near. And I still want to see if Spike will try and forgive Shining, and Cadence.
Life is like a pond of water; A person has never truly left it until the ripples that caused have completely faded away... and the ripples that Thorax has caused are going to last for a very, very long time. Even if the Changelings ever forget about who he was somewhere in the sands of time, as long as they try and follow the ideals that he died to show them, he will live on in spirit.
Too soon. The forgiveness is still pending, which is good. But for there to be any actual conversation or connection between twilight and spike is too soon.
I understand everyone has different perspectives and bigger hearts than others. But to me, a chapter of just him fuming and then talking to her is much too soon.
Hey, you just made the most realistic story that I've ever had the pleasure of reading in ages. Please, don't stop writing. Your phenominal. You've changed my views so many times but for justified reasons. I can picture an ending but now I don't know what to expect. Your more than amazing. Remember that. Keep it up. Please.
I'm also staying away from season eight until it airs, I think it's probably not in it's finished form yet
Also it's interesting that you said you write to relax, it's literally the opposite for me
Calling it now Thorax is going to be resurrected within the next two chapters.
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That's what I'm feeling too. I'm on the fence though if I want that to happen, to be honest.
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My comment was in the context of people saying the story should be labelled "Tragedy". Something being tragic doesn't mean a story is a tragedy, as the Tag Information page of the site mentions...
So the death is tragic and sad, but the story isn't a tragedy. Thorax didn't fail, but sacrificed himself for the future he had wanted since the beginning of the story. You could argue that Thorax not being able to see his vision come to life is a tragedy, but Thorax himself ultimately saw it as worth it, and sought to see things through at the cost of his own life, and succeeded.
The whole forgiveness theme I think falls a bit flat. I understand we're trying to draw parallels, but considering the time frame, the severity, and the consequences, I think it would be a bit unfair to call this even remotely similar. In Twilights arc, she was disbelieved for a couple hours which lead to a temporary takeover of Canterlot, and subsequent freeing of said place and feeling shitty that she falsely accused someone and then it turned out she was right. Spikes arc included; Becoming a fugitive, leaving whatever semblance of life he ever knew, breaking away from anyone he loved for a long period of time, making a new life for himself and his friend, dealing with those difficulties, anxieties of being caught and or Thorax being caught and potentially tortured or executed, the upheaval of his life for the second time, and the first had witness of his friends death that he worked so hard to prevent. I probably missed some stuff but that seems to be the gist of it.
Anyway, how can we rightfully compare these two? One is far more severe than the other, so the same apology wouldn't work in both situations. This story is trying to tell us that repeatedly apologizing and admitting your wrong is the right way to rectify the situation presented in the story. Yes, Spike hasn't forgiven Twilight, but being able to listen to someone who caused you so much pain after all they did so quickly, it feels a bit tacked on. Yes, Thorax would want Spike to forgive Twilight, but there is another lesson that needs to be learned.
Cutting people out of your life that are bad is not a bad thing, because, in this case, it wouldn't be Twilights second or third chance. She had the opportunity during the entire time Thorax and Spike were on the run to come to her senses. She didn't. She allowed her own power and racism to control her. She only changed when sense was physically knocked into her by a stone from Spike. Her begging for his forgiveness so soon after what she had done, and asking if he'll ever forgive her is a lot to put on the little guy, so she still isn't doing anything to help, in the end, it's all to her benifit. To truly apologize she would give him space and respect the fact he probably doesn't want to see her right away.
Oh and this was pretty interesting,
HOW IS NO ONE TALKING ABOUT THIS? You want to talk about insensitive, horrifically distasteful statements, here is the front-runner for 2018. I've read this over and over and I cannot hear it in any way other than a line basically displaying Twilights most awful. She basically confirms his worst fear of Thorax's death being his fault. I mean she does say 'seem' but it still really sounds like she is putting the blame on Spike. I can't think of a worse way for Twilight too. . .
OH COME THE FUCK ON, WHAT IS YOUR PROBLEM BOOK HORSE!? IN THIS VERY INTIMATE MOMENT TALKING ABOUT THE OLD DAYS, YOU CAN'T EVEN GO AS FAR TO CEMENT THE IDEA THAT YOU GUYS WERE FAMILY!? ALMOST, FUCKING ALMOST, YOU ARE SICK. HE'S MORE THAN AN ASSISTANT BUT LESS THAN A BROTHER, WHAT THE FUCK WAS HE TO YOU THEN, HE WASN'T AN EMPLOYEE BUT NOT FAMILY, SO JUST A FRIEND. YOU ACTUALLY FRIENDZONED SPIKE IN A COMPLETELY NON-ROMANTIC SITUATION. IF YOU DIDN'T SEE HIM AS A BROTHER WHY IN GOOD GOLLY SHIT WOULDN'T YOU JUST SAY 'FRIEND' THEN, WHAT YOU SAID SOUNDS SO INSINCERE AND LIMP-WRISTED. THIS TWILIGHT IS A BORDERLINE SOCIOPATH.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF THAT'S NOT THE TWIST. . .
Phew. . Where am I again, huh, kinda just blacked out there again.
But all bitching aside I eagerly await the next update.
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But, BUT, Spike is the main character. His whole motivation throughout the story was to keep Thorax safe. He failed, Thorax died. By the definition given...
Wouldn't that make it a tragedy? The failure to achieve the better life he wanted for Thorax, he worked for throughout the whole story thus far.
I didn't read this chapter yet, but I got this one:
In the middle of the chapter
lastsecond-last chapter Twilight's Lament I got an idea for an alternate scene.So I went to write it down. I expected it to be an silly, 300 word idea I type into the comments, but it turned out to be an 2000+ word challenge for me.
I had hoped to complete it before your next chapter gets out, but it seems I wasn't fast enough.
Here it is, and I hope it isn't too bad.
Warning: It is partly inspired by the ending of the game Spec Ops: The Line.
As such, it contains major spoilers! If you are currently playing the game or plan to do it at any point in the future skip this and continue with the next comment below.
(The following scene takes place in the middle of the chapter Twilight's Lament, shortly after Twilight fled Spike’s and Thorax’s room.)
Twilight was silently trotting through the empty hallway, deep in thoughts.
The hallways of the hive, especially the upper levels, were a bit dusty - an side effect of the battle and the big explosion a few hours ago - so she left an trail of hoofprints, just like everyone else who passed these tunnels.
“Just how was all of this possible. How could I be so wrong about everything?” she muttered to herself.
Despite being alone she suddenly heard a voice behind her.
“Did you really just ask this question?”
The alicorn whirled around, searching for whoever just spoke to her.
Standing in the middle of the hallway, just a few steps away, was... “Thorax?! But how...?”
‘Thorax’ just looked at her, an sad expression on his face. “Your eyes are opening for the first time. It hurts, doesn’t it?”
She looked down at his chest, still bearing the wound Chrysalis gave him earlier.
This didn’t go unnoticed by him. “What do you think, Twilight?” He gestured down to his chest. “Who did this to me?”
Twilight tilted her head, confused. “Chrysalis did this. It was her who speared you.”
After a few seconds of silence, he shook his head slowly. “No, you did.”
He slowly advanced torwards her, narrowing his eyes.
“Someone has to pay for your crimes, Twilight. Who is it gonna be?”
She had absolutely no idea what was happening. She knew Thorax was dead, she had seen his body with her own eyes - so how could he stand before her? Then she suddenly noticed something off about him: Despite walking in the dusty tunnel, he didn’t leave any hoofprints.
“Thorax?” Twilight asked slowly, a single strand of hair from her mane came loose. “This isn’t really you, is it?”
‘Thorax’ kept his stoic expression, but stopped his advancing a few steps away from her. “You tell me.”
Frowning, the alicorn shouted “I’m not in the mood for playing games!”
“I assure you: This is no game,” he answered coldly. After a few seconds of silence he continued “It seems your assumptions of me being ‘evil’ had been greatly exagerated.”
She could only angrily stare at him. “This is impossible. All of this. You can’t be here. You. Are. Dead!” A few more strands of her mane came loose.
“I assure you,” Thorax nodded. “It is.”
“But how?!” the mare asked, still not understanding what was going on right in front of her.
“Not how, but why is the better question.” he said. “You are the Princess of Friendship! How could you treat me like this and made all events that happened afterwards possible?!”
“What happened there was out of my control!” Twilight glared at him.
“Was it?!” he snapped. “None of that would had happened if you just stopped. But on you marched, and for what? Proving there are no ‘nice’ Changelings?”
“I... I just tried to be Spike’s friend!” she struggled, backing slightly away, losing even more strands from her mane.
“You are no ‘friend’”, he shook his head. “Your talents lie elsewhere”
A single reformed Changeling was walking down the hallway. Suddenly he heard a voice talking. The voice sounds distressed, so he decided to follow it. Maybe there was one of his follow Changelings in trouble. Rounding an corner he found Twilight. Her mane was a mess and he didn’t even have the words to describe her facial expression.
“This isn’t my fault!” she screamed out, enraged.
‘Thorax’ wasn’t fazed in the slightest by her outburst. “It takes a strong mare to deny what is right in front of her. And when the truth is undeniable, you create your own.”
The reformed Changeling didn’t understand what he was currently witnessing. From his point of view he saw Twilight arguing with... herself? For a moment he considered to intervene, but then thought better of it. He knew about Twilight’s situation, so it was only understandable she was mourning. This was probably just her way to deal with it, so he shouldn’t interrupt... well, whatever she was doing there.
As such he turned around and sneaked away, unnoticed by the purple mare, who was just being tormented by another flashback.
“The truth is, all of this happened because you wanted to be something you are not: The Princess of Friendship,” ‘Thorax’ told her.
“From your point of view I’m ‘evil’, because you can’t accept even the possibility I may be not evil. And when everything proved you wrong, it broke you.”
“You needed someone to blame for Spike’s behavior, so you cast it on me, an innocent Changeling who only wanted to make friends.”
Twilight couldn’t bear to look at him any longer. Instead she turned her head at the tunnel wall. She expected to see the same black material Changelings used to build the hive, but instead she saw... herself. It was a perfect reflection of herself, staring back at her. Next to her own reflection was the reflection of ‘Thorax’.
After a few seconds he continued. “I know the truth is hard to hear, Twilight, but it’s time. You are all that’s left, and you can’t continue with this shame forever.”
With that the ‘original Thorax’ lit his horn and pointed it at Twilight’s reflection. As a result ‘reflection Thorax’ pointed his horn at the real Twilight. She knew enough about magic to immediately recognise the spell he was charging: It was an combat spell, that would shoot an magical charge at the opponent. One of the most basic combat spells, simple and easy to cast, but quite effective.
“I’m going to count to five, then I’m blasting you,” he treatened.
The alicorn was still trying to process everything that was happening before her. “This is not real, this is all only in my head,” she argued.
“Are you sure?” he shrugged. “Maybe it’s in mine! ONE!”
“No!” she screams out. “All of this, this is only your fault!” More on instinct than anything else she raised her own horn at his reflection and charged an spell of her own.
“If that is what you believe than blast me!” he challanged. “TWO!”
“I never wanted to hurt anyone,” she whispered. She was shaking and lost even more of her hair, but kept her her horn aimed.
“No one ever does, Twilight,” he assured her “THREE!”
”FOUR!”
What should Twilight do?
1. Blast Thorax’ reflection -> Skip to Result 1 below.
2. Blast her own reflection -> Skip to Result 2 below.
3. Do nothing. -> Continue reading.
”Is that really what you want, Twilight?”
What should Twilight do?
1. Blast Thorax’ reflection -> Skip to Result 1 below.
2. Blast her own reflection -> Skip to Result 2 below.
3. Do nothing. -> Continue reading.
”So be it,” ‘Thorax’ said with finality. “FIVE!”
Twilight decided to do nothing, closed her eyes and braced herself for the pain, accepting her fate and her failures.
Nothing happened.
After a few seconds she opened her eyes again, looking around. She was alone. No Thorax or anyone else around. The wall, which showed their reflections just a few seconds ago was only an empty, featureless wall like everywhere else in the hive.
Finally she broke down, weeping openly.
After what feeld like an eternety to her she heard approaching hoofsteps. “Twilight! Twilight darling, are you here?” It was the voice of Rarity. Twilight looked up and saw all of her friends approaching.
“Oh my godness, what happened to you, Twilight? Are you okay?” Fluttershy asked. The alicorn looked looked like a mess: her eyes are red from crying and she lost serveral patches of hair from her mane and tail.
“No, I’m not okay Fluttershy,” the purple pony finally answered. “This is all my fault, and my fault only. Why could I be so blind.”
Her friends hugged her while she started crying again.
The End.
Result 1
Twilight released the blast she had charged at Thorax’s reflection. The effect was immediate: The glow on his horn disappeared and his chest wound bursts open again. The reflection started to shatter, visible cracks spreading the entire surface.
“It takes a strong mare to deny what is right in front of you, Twilight. Stronger than you are,” Thorax’ reflection said, looking down at his bleeding chest.
“Whatever you say Twilight, whatever happens next, don’t be too hard on yourself. Even now, after all you have done, you can still go home.” He collapsed with an final breath. “Lucky you.”
Finally all shards of the reflection shattered to the ground, disappearing. Twilight looked arround, but found she was alone again. No Thorax, no reflections, only herself and an sorched wall. She broke down, weeping openly.
Suddenly she heard galopping hoofsteps, accompanied by agitated voices. Familiar voices. Moments later her friends rounded the corner.
Before she could say anything Pinkie rushed forwards and hugged her. “Oh, Twilight, I’m so glad you are alright! My Pinkie Sense suddenly told me you would do something terrible, but it seems nothing happened and we got here in time!”
“Thanks Pinkie, but you are wrong,” Twilight exhaled, looking at the blackened wall. “I just repeated the same mistake I made for the last serveral months.”
Neither of her friends understood the meaning oh her words, but they continued hugging her anyway. Simply because they care for each other, just like good friends should.
The End.
Result 2
Twilight released the blast she had charged at her own reflection.
She had messed up. She, the Princess of Frienship herself, had not only banished an inncent Changeling whose only ‘crime’ was the desire to make friends, but she also drove away her oldest friend, her very own brother in everything but blood.
And she had no one to blame for that than herself.
She closed her eyes and waited for the inevitable pain. It didn’t came.
When she opened her eyes again she was alone. No Thorax or anyone else around. The wall, which showed their reflections just a few seconds ago was only an empty, featureless wall like everywhere else in the hive. The only proof anything had ever happened here was a big, sorched patch on the wall directly accross from her.
Twilight broke, down, weeping openly. But only for a few moments.
“No, it cannot end like this.” Twilight got up. “Yes, I had messed up, but that doesn’t mean I can’t make things right again!”
She turned arround and galloped back the direction she just came from. Torwards Spike and Thorax.
The End.
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True, that is a totally valid way to look at it, but I feel that forgets that the story isn't yet over, and part of what Spike says in this latest chapter.
Sure, Spike was concerned with Thorax's safety, that was the original goal from the beginning. But once they settled in with Fly Leaf, it stopped being about survival, and just simply living their lives happily. They found a place where they felt welcome, and had ponies who knew Thorax was a changelings and yet still supported him. Home.
Spike kept being bitter about Twilight chasing them away in the first place, but he at that point had already given up on his old life and just wanted things to remain stable. His goal was to live a future without the worry that they'd be shunned and always on the run, but in the process continuing to revel in bitterness.
Part of what Thorax did for Spike with this whole arc, was to make him willing to forgive and make friends with those who wronged him, and to be willing to still do the right thing despite his grudges, and with his death forced Spike into a position where he either has to make steps to reconnect, or be doomed to bitterness forever.
A lot of this story is all about the sacrifices made by the characters, and how each person considers those sacrifices to be worth it, and the price of those sacrifices being the grief felt by those characters. See:
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Spike made his sacrifice, by giving up a safe stable home environment with Twilight for Thorax's own safety, and here in this chapter he said it was worth it, Thorax dying and all. Spike loses his best friend, but he has the memories to cherish, and is put on a better path as a result. Spike's story isn't over, and the healing is ready to begin.
So I still say that while the death is tragic, the story isn't a tragedy, since as 448 mentioned, "sacrifice and grief are often a price paid for love/peace/happiness". The sacrifice has been made, the grief has been felt, but with it comes healing and the potential for happiness.
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I honestly think twilight deserved much worse, but if this is the spike you wish to have, so be it.
Spike beginning to talk to twilight and possibly heal said relationship. Ehhhh to soon for me really good chapter but really too soon the talk between twilight and spike. And lunas talk about herself and celestia wonderfull.
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I feel like that should be a tougher sell even than Twilight. She may have emotionally wounded Spike, but they're the ones who physically pitched him and the Savior of all Changelingkind out in the snow and then hounded them with soldiers and wanted posters when they managed not to freeze to death. I really blame those two and the royal sisters more than Twilight; they could've put an end to this farce no matter what she thought and dithered around instead. Twilight had all the wrong words and the wrong feelings, but they're the ones who allowed the wrong actions to unfold and actions are what really count.
I've read to Stratagem.
Ive seen this updating, but oddly, the drive to read it hasn't been there. Stratagem broke things in the analogy of Thorax to the CGJ.
Each update, ive stepped in, and it's just seeing many of the comments, been a barrier to sitting down and trying.
Thorax as a character fits the ideal in how he's generally painted. He is the nice and good guy. And it just, I dont know if I should set it aside for the dislikes it spawned. Or try and power through.
Still, I wish you the best in writing this, and to finishing it.
In the meantime I hope Julius got the medical attention he needs. Just remembered about him now and he is still in a dangerous situation. Or he was already adressed and I somehow missed that in the chapters. I'm glad that Spike and Twilight are trying to repair the broken bond they once had.
I wished I had enough knowledge of animation. I would totally try to make a series out of it.
LUNA: Spike, you're a bad dragon. You should forget the last months of torture and fear for your life and follow the words of Saint Thorax, or you will end like me. No one wants to end like me, right? You must not seek any compensation whatsoever because that would make the dead Saint Thorax sad, and you don't want him sad, right?
SPIKE: Of course, I'm the victim but I'm to blame of everything. I'll go and I'll make myself found by Twilight as if it was by chance and told her that I don't forgive her but I'll suffer selective amnesia for the last months and just feel awful for being a failure.
TWILIGHT: I'm a bad pony, but you are a special kind of failure. You went through all of this to survive and you friend died anyways. And so you know, you were not like a brother to me but more like a strange odd friend. Forgive me casual specism, I just want you to work for me for free.
SPIKE: You're right, but I can't hate you because it would make Sain Thorax sad. Forget about living for myself and trying to heal in my time and pace in order to heal my soul, to not give into my hate and make my own conclusions about Saint Thorax since he was my best friend and I knew him the best, I'm all for eating the version Luna sold me earlier and just soak up the pain of all of this tragedy and act like almost all of it never happened! I mean you sorta had the same happened to you during the wedding, but not really, so it's totally justified and I should't be a sourpuss and a bad dragon and feel bad for any of this. And while I know you Twilight were the one who had the ball in her court to make amends I'll blame myself for the perceived notion that everything is my fault. I'll also suddenly heal any perceived slights against you and while I don't forgive you I'll magically be fine with you, sounds good?
TWILIGHT: Sounds perfect to me. I don't have any blame at all and didn't get any consquences of almost starting a war; creating a witchhunt against you because I'm a specist, collapsing an entire city because one of my casual bouts of paranoia, basically insult Sain Thorax while in front of his cold, dead corpse, and also le'ts not forget blaming you for all of this.
....
BLOODY BRILLIANT, MATE. 5/7 👌
this is a vary good chapter.
Spike is starting down the vary long road of healing.
i don't know way but i am not buying what Twilight is selling , it sounds like lip service to me.
she is just telling Spike what he want to hear and not really meaning it.
It's going to be an unpopular opinion but honestly don't care:
I don't feel sympathy for Spike. Or at least not much. Any I do have is only because the story focused on him and because there is a dead body next to him and even then all of that sympathy is really for Thorax, not him.
The entire Canterlot Wedding parallel was perfect. Even moreso when realize that Spike was in the room when Twilight burst in making those accusations. And yet when Twilight made all of her accusations, no one, including Spike stood up for her and tried to back her. But he's so busy going "well that should tell you how I felt". Well, then shouldn't he know exactly how Twilight, and even Starlight felt then?
I guess Spike is right. They aren't really siblings seeing as they don't seem to back each other when no one else will.
Chills. Sir Scyphi, you are a goddamn literary genius.
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Fair point, although I must still point out somethings. One, at this point in MLP reformation, is a regular thing. Discord, Starlight, Sunset, Trixie, they all have been bad in the past but given a second chance. At least with Discord, Starlight, and Trixie that second chance wasn't even really asked for, it was just given. So its weird when someone approaches apologetically and doesn't receive at least a chance, Discords example is a bit muddled but still. There is no reason why Twilight shouldn't have given Thorax a chance.
Two, the situations are a bit different. In the Canterlot Wedding, Twilight was acting paranoid well before they even arrived in Canterlot, so it's unsurprising when she continues to act paranoid on what appears, to outsiders perspective, to be baseless claims. It's not unfair to judge five of the mane six for not standing by Twilight, nor is it unfair to judge Spike. However, he is still seen, and treated, as a child. His mentality, at this point in the show, is very juvenile. And speaking as a younger brother, there have been plenty of times that I should've stuck with my brother when I didn't for one reason or another and vice versa. It's not just a matter of sticking up for each other but just caring for each despite what happens.
Three, the parallel doesn't work because of the time frame and the immediate justification. In the wedding episode, most of the time Twilight is just angry that no one will listen to her, she's only truly hurt at the end of part 1, for a fairly brief moment, but then she is immediately justified in her actions and is reunited with someone that cares about her, Cadence. Spike, on the other hand, is berated for his decision, given an ultimatum by friends, and is forced to stare death in the face as he rescues and tries to escape with Thorax. The feeling of betrayal and desertion is not equal. The desertion of the wedding was more apathy, they didn't care about Twilights accusations because it was unwarranted in their eyes. In 'Grief' it comes from loathing and disdain. And those feelings are not only directed at Spikes friend but from his perspective, himself, as evidenced by him being made to become a fugitive.
tl;dr The wedding and grief have far different situations and consequences, Spike is far more sympathetic then Twilight in that regard.
The themes here ring very hollow. Spike backtracking on his earlier stances is beyond obnoxious because we know Twilight wouldn’t have been swayed. Fluttershy, the least likely to do something rash and screw them over, remained neutral. Celestia spent the entire story doing next to nothing about Twilight’s actions or trying to fix the situation, even when given a huge chance after everything. Luna was too connected to Celestia to risk until after she contacted Thorax. They (or Thorax more specifically) already stretched their way too much and only through sheer dumb luck did they last as long as they did. Yes, the bottled up hatred wasn’t healthy, but he was completely right about Twilight and what she would do. Him being extremely hurt and angry doesn’t change that. If Twilight caught any whiff of them, which would be extremely likely if Spike talked to any of the mane 6 besides Fluttershy (maybe Rarity), Starlight, or Celestia, they would’ve been captured (as they wouldn’t have the airship).
Then we have the other huge clash. First, we have Chrysalis, who’s still around and still evil. Heck, significantly more so than in the show. If she didn’t act particularly unhinged after being exposed to intentionally starving her subjects and the transformed Changelings didn’t have the emotional aura, things wouldn’t have ended nearly as well. Their choices were living under essentially Stalin or overthrowing Chrysalis and having an instant solution to starvation, plus a convenient way to avoid the standard issues of a power vacuum.
It wasn’t that Thorax was right that got them through to the end, it was that the universe decided to favor him. I’ve already commented plenty on it before, but now we also have the entire Hive scenario. If Spike tried to act like Thorax at any point, things would’ve ended up much worse for them overall. Luna’s story didn’t help at all because it was conveniently ignored that Spike was actively thrown out for following Twilight’s normal way of acting, not that Twilight and Spike had opposing viewpoints that were voted on, Spike was directly screwed by an abuse of power. And worse, it wasn’t a clash on ideals or a nebulous topic with no right answer, it was Twilight and co directly being racists abusing their power with Starlight off to the side just now deciding to listen to Twilight. Heck, Spike and Thorax nearly died because of their actions. Oh, and Spike did compromise, all the time. Heck, after awhile, he was the only one compromising.
Lastly, it’s way too early for Spike to be talking with Twilight. We spent a good amount of time on his grief (maybe too much), but we had no transition to him being in a state where he can look at Twilight. Even if the hate just bled out into pity and disappointment, he’d still not be in a state of mind to have a relatively normal conversation. At least with Twilight we could assume she digested the last conversation she had with everyone and mulled things over since we last saw her, and was more in that kind of state already. Spike just kind of flipped.
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The difference between Discord, Starlight and Trixie and that the changelings hurt Twilight on an even more personal level compared to the previous three. Add in the fact that the changeling M.O. seems to be based for more on deceit compared to any of the previous three Twilight has far more reason to be distrustful of any changelings.
Twilight was upset before the wedding because her brother sent her an invite days before with no warning telling her he's getting married to a person whose name she didn't even recognize. When she saw who it was she was incredibly happy until Cadance started acting off at which she was paranoid because of how terrible 'Cadance' was acting.
Spike hasn't changed that much from Canterlot Wedding to now. The "Spike is a child" mentality feels like an excuse. Much like when he was calling out Starlight for her "excuses" on why she didn't back Spike. The reality is that even when the rest of them didn't back Twilight, Spike didn't either. Much like how when no one else backed Spike, Twilight didn't either. Spike is getting from leeway because Thorax died but he should also consider that he also abandoned Twilight when she really needed someone as well then.
Uh. You do remember that Twilight got berated by her brother, left behind by all of her friends, and then berated by her teacher.
She didn't really even give her an ultimatum and then she finds out the 'Cadance' is in fact evil before 'Cadance' wisps her off in a portal of flame?
The only thing that makes this not equal is Thorax as stated at the start of my opinion. It's because of Thorax that I feel sympathy. To me, Spike is just going through what Twilight had to deal with and because the story is making Spike suffer so I "have" to feel sympathy for him.
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No one backed Twilight because she was in the wrong in A Canterlot Wedding. She didn’t try to rationally explain her suspicions and points to her friends (all of whom were too busy to notice questionable behavior), she complained for a bit, then stormed off. She didn’t actually talk with Shining (she was interrupted, then left after seeing the spell), and she didn’t try to talk to Celestia or Luna. What Twilight did do was crash the wedding rehearsal, chase the bride out in tears, and smugly walk back in before having each one of her points destroyed. Of course everyone would go to comfort fake Cadance at that point, Twilight had been acting jealous in front of them (she wasn’t willing to listen to them, has a habit of blowing situations out of proportion, and didn’t argue her point well at all) and just drove someone who they thought was innocent off in tears and had every one of her arguments shut down. Heck, she never accused Cadance of being a fake, or even considered she might be mind controlled as well.
Twilight had plenty of options on what to do. In this story, Spike could’ve done what he did or let Thorax die. Fake Cadance did nothing directly to Twilight (at least until she decided to ruin her own plan) while Twilight directly caused what happened in this story. Twilight’s actions were entirely on her in A Canterlot Wedding. Remember, we saw everything that happened, no one besides Twilight did, all they saw was her complaining at the table, getting the bridesmaid positions, and Twilight chasing the bride away in tears.
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Twilight was in the wrong simply because of how she went about it.
Even still Spike said nothing. He did nothing. Inaction can turn out to be action as well.
He's over here complaining about how Twilight didn't back him yet he made no effort to back Twilight at all at the wedding. He stood on the side and let her get fucked over and thank god for deux ex machinas or everyone would've been screwed.
Neither of them helped each other when they really needed it. Just that because of this story Spike gets to act as the moral high because someone died because of it. That's why I feel no sympathy for him.
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Spike helps Twilight all the time, usually by keeping her in check. Twilight had driven Spike to question his self worth once and didn’t do much when he was having an identity crisis before ACW. Again, the difference is that he went to comfort the person who chased out in tears of her own wedding rehearsal. Meanwhile, Spike was banished and actively hunted by Twilight for four and a half moons because he stood up for a friend. Notice any kind of difference between the two?
Answer me this, why should anyone have stayed by Twilight in ACW? Why wouldn’t they go after the one who was driven away in tears at their own wedding rehearsal? Why would they support the one who did that? At no point did they end the friendship or anything of the sort. Heck, Celestia’s pretty much implied they’ll be back and are leaving her to think on what she did.
Edit: Twilight being right doesn’t excuse her actions. She was still in the wrong in ACW with how she acted. Heck, she was technically still wrong as it wasn’t actually Cadance.
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Yeah. It's also heavily implied that Twilight has taken care of Spike throughout much of his life (she literally hatched him).
Twilight didn't cause him to question his self worth. He did that mostly to himself because he got jealous over a silly owl.
Spike got banished for standing up for a changeling. A being's whose only instance known to ponies was an invasion on their capital, attacking the country's ruler, and personally hurting the three authority figures in the room. Logically, they have literally no reason to trust it.
Why would anyone stay by Twilight in ACW?
Because they're her friends. And before this chapter in the story because Spike apparently considered them siblings. They know Twilight far more than they knew Cadance who was a complete and utter stranger.
FINALLY, things are looking up for the two of them!
Scyphi*...we needed this. After something like forty chapters of racism and distrust and gut-wrenching character deaths, I think I speak for a lot of us when I say that it's good to see some hope in this story.
*How do you even pronounce that name?
That was almost literally what I was thinking!
Stop reading/messing with my mind!
I hadn't seen it this way before...
But I dare to say, with this single paragraph I understand her actions and motives far better than after reading the entire previous story.
Good work, Scyphi. Good work.
8652358
I agree. Especially since Shining should be a lot more experienced than Twilight. He is Captain of the Royal Guard and Prince of the CE, he should be the one to know what to do in case of a potential invasion. How do you even come up with the idea to send an ally and your only hostage to the enemy armee in hopes that the enemy lets its guard down.
8653415
Yeah, because the Royal Guards have really proven there worth and competence in the show...
This wouldn't be too bad of a place to end... Though the story should continue for at least eight more chapters. This needs to hit one hundred! We are so close!