Grief is the Price We Pay

by Scyphi

Parting of Ways

Spike and Twilight remained sitting in the hive corridor for some time while Spike told Twilight about Thorax and their friendship together. Though emotions ran high in both, they managed to remain respectful and fairly calm faced throughout most of it, each letting the other to have ample time to say their part—though this wasn’t hard as Spike did most of the talking. Nonetheless, both were secretly surprised at how calmly, relatively speaking, they managed to get through the conversation. Fate seemed to be on their side in this matter too even, as they spent that whole time never once getting interrupted by anything else, remaining perfectly alone in the corridor and no one passing ever passing by except precisely as they were finishing and Rainbow Dash abruptly found them.

She seemed surprised to see the two talking like this given how they had been on such bad terms and seemed almost ashamed to interrupt this progress. But once assuring Rainbow that she was fine to proceed, she explained the changelings had prepared a breakfast for all of the “non-changeling” guests presently staying in the hive and extended the invitation to join them. Though Spike had already eaten, he found he was still hungry enough to eat more, while Twilight hadn’t eaten anything yet at all that morning and was understandably ravenous, so both accepted and followed Rainbow back to the room the changelings had set up as a guest dining area.

Little was said as they did so, but it was noteworthy that Spike and Twilight maintained a respectable distance from each other, often using Rainbow as a sort of physical buffer between them. Upon arriving in the room, which was already occupied by Luna, Celestia, and most of Twilight’s friends, Spike chose to sit apart from the others, distancing himself from them. It showed that while there had been some improvement in relations between the dragon and the other ponies, there remained a rift between them, smaller now than before, but still considerable. It proved just how much further they had to go before reparations between them could be complete…and even then there hung in the air the strong sense that things still wouldn’t ever be the same because of what happened.

The meal was carried out in solemn silence save for a passing remark or two. Spike remained sitting by himself for most of it, but that changed when Starlight Glimmer and Trixie arrived in the room late and Trixie decided to sit with the dragon herself, Starlight following. They did so without speaking—though sitting with him was their way of showing support, both mares could tell without asking that Spike wasn’t in much of a mood to talk presently. This suited them fine—they weren’t especially either.

Nonetheless, Starlight still felt obligated to check on him. “You doing okay, Spike?” she asked the dragon softly at one point.

Spike had to think about it for a long moment before answering. “I could be doing better,” he admitted finally before adding, “but I guess I could also be doing a lot worse.”

Starlight nodded in agreement. “And we certainly wouldn’t want that.”

A long moment of silence fell between them before Spike spoke again. “How are you doing, Trixie?” he asked spontaneously.

Trixie briefly seemed surprised to be asked, and like Spike, wasn’t certain how to respond at first. “I don’t know,” she confessed finally. She shrugged helplessly. “I don’t…feel great, obviously, but…” she stared at her breakfast for a second, “…I just miss him…a lot more than I ever dared to believe I would, I guess.”

The other two were quiet for another moment. “I’m sorry for treating you the way I did before, Trixie,” Spike abruptly remarked as he finished the last of his meal.

Starlight looked at him with a look of surprise, but Trixie simply sighed. “Don’t be,” she told him. “I deserved it.”

But Spike shook his head. “No,” he disagreed as he stood up from the table, “you didn’t. Thorax was right about you.” He turned to go, but then paused and looked back at Trixie, tearing up a little. “I’m sorry you couldn’t have had more time with him.”

He then departed, leaving Starlight and Trixie staring after him, stirred by the dragon’s unexpectedly simple, yet gentle and sympathetic words.

After leaving the makeshift dining area, Spike went back to wandering the corridors of the hive. They were busier this time, and as such he crossed paths with other changelings more frequently, about half of which would stop to ask if there was anything they could do to help him or make him more comfortable. One voiced the reason why; to them, he was quite obviously feeling unhappy. But though Spike thanked them for their concern, he politely turned them down every time. For the moment, this was something he wanted to try and work through himself.

Regardless, he knew he wasn’t ready when word reached him preparations for Thorax’s burial were done, and the invitation for all who wished to attend to gather outside began to filter through the hive. It took him several minutes to even gather the nerve needed to follow the numerous others starting for the hive’s exit, and when he finally did, it was initially slow and with great reluctance. He did not want to do this. And yet with every step he took it got a little easier and he could go a little faster. He may not want to face this…but he knew he still needed to.

With the many other changelings all heading the same way, Spike only needed to follow them to find his way out the hive’s main entrance. As he was stepping outside for the first time since yesterday, he stopped and took a moment to look around. It was about mid-morning right now with the sky clear and the air pleasantly cool. It actually was a rather picturesque day it seemed, but it felt to his heavy heart almost out of place considering the grave duty he had yet to face.

Once outside, everyone filed into a sizeable progression, marching across the barren lands towards a gathering forming at the edge of the enclosing acorn grove beyond. As this was clearly where the burial proceedings were going to take place, Spike joined in. There were mostly only changelings around him, all solemn, quiet, moving with sullen looks in their faces, and all at different speeds, so whoever might be standing beside him was regularly changing. Likely thanks to this, Spike eventually crossed paths with Ember who was also marching along within the progression.

Spike happily greeted her, but he was surprised to see the dragon lord. “I thought you had already gone back to the Dragon Lands by now,” he remarked.

“No, I stuck around,” Ember replied as she marched along, carrying her scepter with her as always. She nodded her head at the gathering they were heading towards. “For obvious reasons.” She then gave Spike a glance. “I figured you might need the…moral support, anyway.”

Spike debated how to respond for a second. “Thank you,” was all he could think to say though.

It was enough for Ember, who nodded her head. She deliberately matched his pace and stuck by his side as they kept walking in silence for a few minutes.

“So…where’s your dragon escort guy?” Spike asked next in an attempt to make small talk, realizing he hadn’t seen the larger dragon since yesterday. His mind went embarrassingly blank as he suddenly struggled to correctly recall his name. “What was his name…uh…something starting with an O…”

“Obsidian,” Ember offered, not bothered by Spike’s lapse of memory. “And I’ve already filled him in on what happened…sent him back to the Dragon Lands to report in and pass word that the all-clear’s been given.”

“Yeah, I suppose the dragons back there were probably anxiously waiting to hear back from you, considering the circumstances we left them in,” Spike relented with a small wince.

“And I didn’t want to leave them any reason to do anything rash…especially now that the changelings are…well…like this.” Ember motioned around at the crowd of colorful and reformed changelings they were following to the burial site. She went quiet for a moment, and Spike could tell she was still coming to terms with the sudden shift in allegiance. “Obsidian objected, of course,” she went on to mumble.

“Didn’t want to leave his fearless leader unguarded, huh?” Spike quipped gently, making a small grin.

Ember wasn’t amused. “More he doesn’t trust the changelings yet,” she said. “To him, all they did was get more…colorful…which, with them being changelings, doesn’t necessarily signify much when you think about it.” She looked around at the line of changelings they were following. “Why are they all colorful now? I mean, doesn’t it seem to be a bit…you know…much?”

“I don’t know, I haven’t really bothered to ask or think about it,” Spike admitted. He shrugged. “Besides, you might as well ask why ponies, or for that matter, dragons, are all multi-colored too.”

Ember didn’t reply and instead fell quiet, her mind moving on to other topics. “While I’ve been here, I’ve been working to set up an alliance between the dragons and the changelings,” she announced suddenly.

Spike, surprised, sharply turned his head. “An actual dragon-changeling alliance?” he repeated.

“That’s what I said, didn’t I?” Ember shrugged. “The changelings are all for it too…or at least they’re certainly…eager.”

“They want to prove to others they have genuinely changed after the Enlightenment,” Spike explained distractedly, but he wasn’t deterred from the original topic. “I’m just surprised—aren’t the changelings and dragons historically longtime enemies, even more so than for the ponies?”

“Quite.”

“Then…won’t there be plenty of dragons who’ll object to that?”

“Probably, they’ll most likely see it like Obsidian did,” Ember reasoned, yet sighed and motioned a set of claws at the many reformed changelings surrounding them. “But look at them all now, Spike. They…aren’t the same. They’re more friendly and docile and…” she shook her head. “…I just can’t see them trying to pick a fight anymore. I mean, it boggles my mind to consider too, but…I really can’t, not when I look at them and see…what they are now.” She snorted to herself. “Actually, now they kind of remind me of the ponies a little.” She then frowned, lowering her gaze. “They’re also basically defenseless. Maybe they have changed for the better, but they’re also all acting…listless and uncertain…like they don’t know what they need to do with themselves anymore. More importantly, they’re leaderless. And until they can fix all of that, they’re vulnerable to any outsiders that might want to do them harm…so I figured…they could use protection. And I didn’t feel comfortable with it coming from anyone other than me right now.”

Spike processed that for a moment. “You don’t think Equestria will be any help with that then, huh?”

Ember snorted. “No.”

Spike merely made a subdued hum in reply to that, and they went quiet for a second again. “How long are you going to be staying?”

“However long you need me to stay,” Ember replied, giving him a knowing look.

“Ember, as much as I appreciate it, you can’t stay by my side forever,” he replied back wearily, catching on. “You have your own people to look after.”

“Yeah, and you’re one of them.”

“Don’t prioritize me, one dragon, over the hundreds of others that also need your leadership still. I can’t ask you to do that…not for me.”

“You need the support.”

“I have the support, from Starlight, Trixie, and the others.”

“The ponies?”

“Starlight more than proved herself worthy back when confronting Chrysalis, and you know Thorax thought the world of Trixie, that fact alone should be enough to sway the both of us on her. As for the rest…anyone can see that they’re trying to make amends…and yeah, they aren’t there yet, but…I’m still inclined to let them for now. They haven’t given me any reason not to since…since Thorax…died. So the only pony either of us really should have any issue with is Twilight.” Spike shuffled sheepishly, a sullen expression returning. “And…despite it all…I kind of want to try to give even her the benefit of the doubt right now too…see what happens.”

“But why?”

“Because no matter what she did…I still feel like it’s the fair thing to do. I know it doesn’t make sense, especially since you can still bet that I have an issue with her, one I don’t foresee changing anytime soon, not when it got Thorax killed, but…regardless…” He shook his head. “Look, the point is that while I appreciate you’re looking out for me, Ember, and I’m certainly not saying I don’t want that…you’re not the only one who’s been doing so.” His gaze turned to the gathering ahead of them. “Besides…I’ve been thinking about it and…I think all I need now is to just get through this last bit, and then…” he averted his gaze briefly, “…and then I can move on. Either way, I think I’m…I’m going to be okay, Ember.”

Ember’s gaze softened. “Are you sure?”

Spike closed his eyes and took in a deep breath to steady himself, but he nodded. “Yes.”

Ember nodded back. “Okay then,” she relented. “If that’s what you really want…then I trust you, Spike. But if you ever change your mind…just say so.”

“Understood.”

They then fell silent for the rest of the march towards the gathering. By the time they arrived, a great number had already massed, more than Spike could count, but he estimated it was easily into the hundreds already with potentially hundreds more still coming. Naturally, they were nearly all reformed changelings bearing their new forms, but even then Spike spied a few changelings not yet reformed, still bearing their more aggressive and black original forms. They appeared greatly out of place, and they seemed very aware of it. Yet even they seemed to have a sense of understanding about them, that something good was lost that needed acknowledging, even if they didn’t seem to understand why or how to show it. It seemed to humble them just enough to take a bit of their menacing edge off. A gruff looking one with a uniquely red crest upon his neck that Spike passed fairly close to was even trying (and not quite succeeding) to hide a tear he was shedding.

Spike and Ember filed through the crowd of changelings until they were closer to the front where they found the only other non-changelings in attendance, all of whom was present, from Twilight Sparkle, to Starlight Glimmer, to Princess Celestia, to little Flurry Heart, even though the tiny foal seemed blissfully unaware of the solemn event her parents had carried her into. As they approached the ponies, Spike was motioned to join them by Fluttershy and shortly thereafter, Rarity who stood next to her. After a moment of hesitation, Spike silently obeyed, coming to stand between the two ponies, with the others surrounding them. Ember lingered nearby, but she did not accompany him, instead keeping her distance and shooting very foul glares at the ponies, her way of making it clear that she hadn’t yet forgiven them for what had transpired.

And they were quite aware of it—Twilight couldn’t make eye contact with Spike and kept her distance, as Spike did back in turn. Whenever Spike’s gaze managed to cross with Celestia’s, there was a hollow glint of severe guilt in her eyes. And both Shining Armor and Princess Cadance actively kept themselves as far from Spike as they could without separating themselves from the group at all times, not out of apparent malice but out of their own guilt for their role in all of this, appearing to fear what Spike might think of them, and like Twilight, they were unable to meet his eye either. In fact, they actively worked to avoid it more so than Twilight did. It all troubled Spike in many ways, but for the moment he didn’t wish to think about it and forced it from his mind. For right now, all he wanted to think about was Thorax.

Who at the moment wasn’t actually present, but it was clear he was meant to be soon. The onlookers were all standing in a large semi-circle around a point right on the border dividing the wastelands and the acorn grove. At this spot a large collection of changeling resin was freshly deposited in a towering, unshaped, lump several feet tall. Why wasn’t exactly clear yet, but Spike—who had clambered onto the back of Rainbow Dash at her offer so to see better—suspected it was meant to be a sort of tombstone or grave marker…for there had already been a rectangular hole about six feet deep dug into the ground directly in front of it.

They all waited for everyone coming to arrive before continuing, and as there was so many, this required several more minutes. By the time the last few had arrived at the gathering, which had been constantly spreading out, changing shape and position so to allow everyone the equal chance to witness to the proceedings, the number of attendees had been well over doubled in size. Spike couldn’t be sure if it was the entire populace of the changeling hive that was standing out here with the rest of them, but it certainly looked like it was in that same ballpark. Once all had gathered though, one changeling took position beside the open grave and silently made a signal to the crowd. The changelings apparently knew what this meant and quickly a pathway through the center of the group was opened between them. Several long moments passed as they then all silently waited.

Not understanding what they needed to be doing or what was happening, Spike impatiently waited, gazing about and trying to find some clue as to what was going on. He didn’t understand that it was the obvious answer until he spied them coming—a small group of five changelings journeying from the hive and into the path opened up through the crowd. One of the five changelings led the way, carrying a light on the end of a long pole which cast a solemn pale green glow on its surroundings, though it did not stand out much in the current daylight. The other four followed closely behind them, helping each other to carry something between them. As they drew closer, Spike realized what, or rather who, it was.

Thorax had been cleaned up even further since the last time Spike had seen him so that every speck of dust or blood that had been staining the deceased changeling’s body was wiped away, leaving Thorax’s black chitin glossy enough to almost be reflective. As before, he lay peacefully on his back upon the stretcher the four changelings were carrying, with his forehooves neatly and respectfully placed atop of his chest. It appeared they had been positioned in such a way that they hid the stab wound that had killed the changeling, for Spike couldn’t see it from where he was. It all made Thorax look like he was simply asleep even more than he did before, but this time Spike wasn’t fooled. He didn’t know how exactly he could tell, but he knew at sight that his friend was dead, a thought that made his heart clench but one he knew better than to try and deny now.

As Thorax’s entourage solemnly progressed through the onlooking crowd, Spike also saw a teal-colored blanket of sorts had been draped over Thorax’s torso, covering his lower half so to maintain his dignity. Unsurprisingly, acorns and oak leaves had additionally been neatly placed encircling Thorax’s body, no doubt both as added decorations and with respect to the symbolism they held with the changelings. The stalk of purple hyacinth blossoms Pinkie Pie had reverently placed between Thorax’s hooves the night previous still remained, and still just as impossibly looked as fresh and new as if the blossoms had only just been picked moments before. When the changelings carrying the body arrived beside the open grave at last, they were very careful not to disturb any of this as they lowered him and the stretcher slowly onto the ground. Once they had, they and the fifth changeling carrying the light moved to stand to one side, allowing the proceedings to continue.

Once they had, the changeling representative that had signaled for things to start now stepped forward to address the gathering. She was a reformed green changeling, appearing older than others, and was decorated only with three pale pink-white orbs on her chest, like many other reformed changelings had gained in their transformation, and a narrow band of brown cloth around her neck just above them. She bore no horn and instead her forehead remained bare. When she spoke, she spoke with a voice that was gravely, but heartfelt and almost sympathetic.

She began with a heavy sigh. “For the benefit of the outsiders we have present today,” she began by noting, nodding her head in the direction of the ponies and dragons in the crowd, “I will be speaking in their native Equestrian as a courtesy for the duration of the proceedings.” She then paused to collect her thoughts. “Normally, it would be the hive’s ruling queen that would be conducting these proceedings and not a drone such as myself, but obviously these are not normal conditions. We have of course dethroned Queen Chrysalis, and in light of the events that caused this, I cannot say I regret us doing so. Of the many queens that have ruled the changelings over the generations, I think many of us will agree that Chrysalis was never the best of the best. We are frankly better off without her. But that still means we are without a queen, or any clear leader to fill in this role. I ended up selected for this role because I am a ranking praefectus, a hive administrator who simply stepped up to assist maintaining order within the hive during this tumultuous past day, and it was decided that was enough for me to fill in for this duty. I do not feel nearly worthy for it…but nevertheless, I am still happy to do so, considering who it is we have gathered to bid farewell to.”

She turned her gaze to Thorax and heaved another sigh. “We changelings seem to have been given a new lot in life, a chance to reinvent ourselves, hopefully for the better, and choose for ourselves what direction we need to go next, and for that honor, we will be forever indebted to all those who helped to make it happen.” She again nodded her head in the direction of the ponies and dragons in the audience, acknowledging that it wasn’t just Thorax who had helped to make this happen, even if it wasn’t entirely planned that way. “But regrettably, one of those helpers cannot be here with us now to share in that victory, having paid the ultimate price in bringing about this Enlightenment…and it was Thorax, of all changelings.” She again gazed at Thorax, this time apologetically. “I did not have the chance to ever really get to know this changeling personally, but like many of you, I still knew of his reputation. He was a peace seeker and an idealist, one who wanted to look beyond what we already were and towards what we could yet become, and despite everything, he was always eager to do so. Sadly, few of us gave him the chance. We saw him as an aberration in the normality we had come to expect from the hive, presenting ideas that challenged our viewpoints and struck us as absurd and farfetched. Thorax spoke of a future that simply seemed too far out of reach to ever have. We turned our backs on him. But, may the Shapeless One bless his soul, it’s clear he never turned his back on us. And now, here we all are, perched at the very precipice of that future he spoke of, now ours for the taking. Of everything that has happened since yesterday, the fact he could not live to see it along with the rest of us is the greatest tragedy of them all.”

“But his role in all of this will not be forgotten,” she pressed on. “He was noble enough to show us a truth we had all been missing, and now it is our duty to make sure that his sacrifice will not go in vain. We owe it to him to take up the creed he bore and carry it on into that future he wanted for us and beyond. We owe it to him to finish what was started yesterday, and I hope I speak for all of us when I say I am ready to rise up to that challenge, and see it through to the end, wherever that may be! And may that path he has so selflessly and graciously opened up for us lead us to a greater future, a changeling hive that is happy, healthy, fed, at peace, and with many friends and allies that we can always count on. It has been eons since the changeling race could count on someone other than themselves like that…and perhaps now the time has finally come to change that. Perhaps there really is no shame in making friends and counting on the support of others. Perhaps we need not be so alone and isolated after all.”

She stopped to sigh yet again, this time to calm herself slightly. “But I digress,” she remarked. “May whatever will be coming our way come, and may we be ready to face it, whatever it may be. But for now, let us all join together and show Thorax here that we have heard his message…and we deeply thank him for it. And above all, let us show just how deeply he will be missed by us all.” She turned to address Thorax’s body directly. “Thorax, you have left our company in this life, and your hive will miss you. May whatever new journeys the noble Shapeless One grants to you next be fruitful and rewarding, but we ask you to never forget your fellow changelings still finding their way through this quest of life. And as the First Changelings had sprung up into this life from the earth we stand upon, we now grant you the closure of bringing you full circle back to it, to join you again with the Shapeless One who had so courteously created you. May you live on in our memories, our hearts, and our feelings, Thorax, and may you receive the closure you seek.”

And with those moving final words, the changeling representative stepped back, allowing the four changelings who had carried Thorax to the graveside take position at each of the four corners of the open grave, lighting their horns…and with a jolt, it sank into Spike’s mind what was about to follow. He stared at his friend lying there on the ground and felt almost lost in a dream as he realized this was really happening, that Thorax was about to be buried, once and for all, into the earth, never to return in this life. As the changelings took up the stretcher in their magic, Spike involuntarily gasped and leaned himself forward into the back of Rainbow’s head and neck, heart beating furiously as he helplessly watched this final act unfold. His emotions must have showed on his face, because shortly thereafter Fluttershy gently reached up with one yellow hoof to reassuringly rub his side, trying to comfort him.

Spike greatly appreciated it, but it still did little to soothe his roiling emotions, watching the changelings lift Thorax into the air then proceed to lower him gracefully into the open grave. His breath caught in his throat as Thorax vanished from his view, followed by tears proceeding to break out as he watched the changelings turn to levitate dirt that was set to one side and start to pour it into the hole, slowly filling it in and covering up the body of the changeling within. Yet Spike still stubbornly tried to fight off his warring emotions, trying to put on as brave a face as he could muster, forcing himself to stand to one side and let this happen, knowing deep down that it had to be done.

Soon the hole was filled in entirely and the surface smoothed over and level, sealing Thorax inside. Once done, all of the changelings still standing around the grave moved to join the rest of the gathering, and then all changelings who had magic lit their horns and, as one, pointed them towards the mass of resin standing at the head of the grave. Together, they all fired off hundreds upon hundreds of magical beams into the resin, charging it up to the point that it burst into a ball of multi-colored flames, the same magical flames seen when a changeling transforms. As the many changelings pumped more and more magic into it, the brighter and bigger the ball of energy grew, to the point that it was almost blinding and eyes needed to be shielded. Almost too late, Spike suddenly realized that the changelings were magically transforming the resin into a new shape, which when the magic and light ceased as suddenly as it started was revealed to be a statue about ten to twelve feet tall.

Bearing Thorax’s image, the statue’s body was made of polished black obsidian, with thin plates of diamond as the wings, white marble for the fangs, and multi-faceted sapphires serving as the eyes. The pose was not complex, noble, dramatized, proud, or even showy, but rather simply portrayed Thorax neatly and politely seated upon the podium that had also been shaped from the resin, with his head tilted upwards to so gaze curiously and innocently up into the sky above them. It was so perfectly Thorax that the sight of it caused Spike to gasp and was soon choking on his tears, letting his head sink into Rainbow’s colorful mane. Watching his tears slip through the hairs, he inwardly thought to himself that this was leaving Rainbow in the no doubt awkward and uncomfortable of having to put up with it, and for the mare’s sake, Spike quickly tried to reel in his emotions again—to little success.

If Rainbow had a problem with the weeping dragon on her back though, she said and did absolutely nothing to outwardly convey displeasure or to protest. Blissfully, she instead left Spike unbothered and let him proceed. Besides, her attention was on the statue too, as was most of everyone else’s, but she was the one to notice there was an inscription on the base of the statue’s podium, written in the notched circular letters of the changeling language.

“What’s that say on the bottom there?” she asked aloud in a soft whisper, squinting her eyes at the lettering and trying to make out something that made sense to her.

“Ad memoriam Thoracis,” a changeling standing to her right answered, reading the inscription in linguae mutationis. “Brevis annis abiit, plenus honoribus, sed quam bene vivas referre, non quam diu. Nulla dies umquam memori vos eximet aevo.”

Rainbow turned her head to look at the changeling. “But what does that mean?” she asked, not understanding the language.

“To the memory of Thorax,” Spike replied without warning, solemnly translating for the pegasus. “He is gone from us, short of years and full of honors, but it is how well you live that matters, not how long. No day shall erase you from the memory of time.”

Rainbow blinked to herself a few times as her gaze returned to the statue, humbled. “It’s deep,” she replied simply.

Further discussion on it was cut short as Spike started to be overcome by a well of grieving emotions enclosing upon him. Startled by the suddenness of it, how strong it was, and how quickly it had grown and was continuing to grow, Spike turned inward wondering if attending Thorax’s burial was getting to him far more than he feared…but then he caught a glimpse of Rainbow’s face and saw from her expression she was feeling something similar—all of them were, as a quick glance at everybody around him proved…until he noticed how intently the changelings were gazing at the statue of Thorax they had created and the answer struck him.

These emotions he was feeling weren’t his own…they were the emotions of every changeling present in the crowd, all openly sharing and displaying their emotions with one another, all at once and as one, forming a great wave of emotion that was now washing over the whole of the gathering. It was their way of showing just how much Thorax’s sacrifice had moved them, how apologetic they were for their past treatment of him, and just how much they were going to miss him. The emotive flood was so moving and potent that soon there was no one present that wasn’t shedding sad and sympathetic tears. Even the famously stone-faced Applejack was soon openly bawling.

Tears streaming from her own face, Spike watched as Rainbow Dash raised one wing, bent so that the longest of her primary feathers touched the tip of her forehead while she gazed resolutely at Thorax’s grave. Familiar with the pegasus salute, Fluttershy saw and mirrored it with her own wing. The princesses, though not all of them were as practiced in the motion themselves, soon did likewise too.

This went on for some moments as everyone expressed their sadness for the lost changeling, but once the emotions reached their peak, they started to slowly taper off again in a manner that felt, to Spike at least, natural, and before long, the onslaught of emotion had returned to more natural levels and the salute ended, at which time the changeling representative stepped forward again, asking those that wished to pay their final respects before returning to the hive to please form an orderly and respectful line. Not everyone present moved to join that line, but easily half still felt obligated enough to do so and quietly formed a line that stretched for some feet along the border of the acorn grove. Spike, Ember, and the ponies all wordlessly moved to join the line too. Spike was asked as they did so if he wished to be close to the front of the line, but Spike, feeling intimidated and unprepared for this last step, instead asked if he could be allowed to be the very last, in hopes that would give him time to prepare. Twilight and Trixie both seemed to have similar ideas, and though they granted Spike the spot as very last, they too wished to be near the very end. So the group allowed all the other changelings to go ahead of them and took position together at the back of the line.

The line moved slowly, but there was no sense of anyone trying to rush the other, and was instead given however much time they felt required as they each walked past the grave. On average, it seemed most changelings only took about two to five minutes to do this before turning away and starting the long hike back for the hive, so this still became the unofficial standard to shoot for. But every now and then there was still someone who broke that trend and took a little longer. Being at the very back of the line as he was, Spike was too far away to hear or even really see what, if anything, most of those ahead of them had to impart to the buried changeling, but he suspected it was mostly the same things that had been said before during Thorax’s viewing—voices of regret, a desire to learn from it, and words of thanks for Thorax’s example followed by an apology that it was not appreciated sooner.

After a period of time that to Spike didn’t feel that particularly long but not that particularly short either, the line had shortened considerably and he and the others started to reach the end. As it happened, Ember was the first non-changeling to reach the grave, and though she was still too far away for Spike to hear what she was saying exactly, she was still close enough that he could clearly see that whatever it was, it seemed passionate. It was similar for Celestia, Luna, Cadance, Shining Armor, Rarity and Pinkie Pie in that order as they all took their turns, but he assumed they said more of the usual. He found he was mostly right as he started to catch snippets while Rainbow Dash (who didn’t seem so ashamed to express her feelings this time) and Applejack then took their turns. Soon all who remained in line was, in the following order, Starlight Glimmer, Trixie, Twilight, and himself standing at the very end.

Starlight Glimmer spent most of her brief remarks lamenting she couldn’t have gotten to know Thorax better. “It’s a pity we only got to meet for a brief couple of days,” she spoke aloud to the grave and its occupant. “I see now that you would’ve been a great friend to have…if only we had given you the chance. Regardless…I’m glad I had the chance to get to know you at all…and I hope we can all work to continue what you’ve helped to start.”

Considering she was the pony he could completely confidently know was mourning for Thorax’s death as equally, if not more so, as him, Spike was admittedly curious to hear what parting words Trixie would give as her turn came. But, subdued and composed, Trixie kept it simple and straightforward. “You can rest easy, Thorax,” she murmured aloud to the grave after an initial period of silent grieving. “You’ve made a difference in the world after all.” Then, after another stretch of silence during which Spike saw a solitary tear roll off her cheek, she ran a respectful hoof along the edge of the new grave and continued. “You know Trixie doesn’t like goodbyes, so…see you later, Mister Jar Catcher.” Moving reluctantly, she then turned and slowly started heading back for the hive, her head bowed.

It was then Twilight’s turn to approach the grave. Like Trixie, she spent the first several moments sitting there in silence, but where Trixie had spent it grieving, Twilight stared up at the statue of Thorax with a deeply guilty expression on her face. It lead Spike to believe that Twilight’s comments would be revolving around that subject, but instead, all Twilight said on that matter was to murmur a simple “I’m sorry,” which part of Spike wanted to treat as insufficient…but he knew Twilight well enough to know that, by the tone she said it in, she still meant it. What actually surprised Spike the most was what Twilight said next, after yet another long pause—“Thank you for keeping Spike safe.”

She then glanced at Spike, the last one waiting, and silently stepped back, motioning for him to step forward and take her place. Wringing his claws and not feeling nearly ready for this despite giving himself as much time to prepare as he could, Spike hesitated, then slowly moved into position. Twilight remained standing just behind him for a long moment though, watching him with a very concerned look and clearly reluctant to leave him alone like this.

“Do you need someone to stay here with you?” she asked finally in a soft voice. Spike noted how she opted not to volunteer herself specifically for it, no doubt thinking Spike wouldn’t want her.

In reality though, it wouldn’t matter who it was, and after a moment of fretful indecision, Spike still shook his head no. “I need to do this on my own, Twilight,” he murmured in reply.

Twilight studied at him for a moment then nodded her head. “You know where to find us if you change your mind,” she reminded, before she finally turned and started walking back for the hive. She went slowly at first, repeatedly stopping and looking back at Spike, fearful about leaving him alone like this. But regardless, she heeded his wishes and kept on going.

Leaving Spike alone before Thorax’s grave.

His stomach feeling like it was tying itself into knots upon knots, Spike kept standing there, still wringing his claws, wanting to say something but not knowing what he should say. Looking at the freshly filled grave wasn’t helping as all he could do was think about his friend within buried under six feet of dirt, a thought that was making him all the more uneasy and even a bit sick with grief, so instead he focused his attention on the statue that towered over it. The likeness the statue bore to Thorax was so great, that for a moment, Spike could almost convince himself it was really him. But of course, it wasn’t. The statue was cold and lifeless, a mere shadow of the real changeling Spike had known. And as Spike stood there trying to find the words, he found that what he was feeling was simply a profound longing for his friend, missing him greatly.

“I don’t want you to go, bud,” he finally murmured aloud, his voice catching as his eyes teared up. He adamantly forced himself to keep them from spilling down his cheeks though, determined to get through this without totally breaking down. “And I wish you didn’t have to. I wish there was some way you could still be here.” He opened his claws and waved them about helplessly for a moment, trying to find something to do with them, before clapping them back together and proceeding to wring them once more. He sniffed and wiped at his nose with the back of his arm. “I don’t know what to do without you,” he went on, “where to go, how to move on…I guess I got so used to having you around that…having to go without you now…it’s just…it’s just…”

Squeezing his eyes shut and feeling himself losing the battle against his emotions, he started letting out an involuntary moan in the back of his throat and quickly grew in volume until it turned into a loud wail, sinking to his knees and proceeding to sob for several moments. There was nothing around to stop him, and no sounds except that of his sobbing and the sound of the breeze rippling through the branches of the adjacent acorn grove. Once he got the initial wave of his sadness out of him though, he started to calm down, and oddly, he started to feel more soothed and relaxed. Not expecting that and unsure what caused it, Spike looked about him as if there was some explanation. Part of him expected Thorax to be sitting right there behind him, one hoof on the dragon’s shoulder, but of course there was no one but himself.

Regardless, it got Spike thinking about what Thorax would do or say if he was here, and turning a bit more resolute, he gazed up at the statue once more. “I know what you’d want me to do,” he said aloud to it. “I know you’d want me to move on in life.” He snorted to himself, suddenly amused. “In way, you’ve been trying to get me to do that the whole time you’ve known me.” He shook his head and sighed. “Whatever the case…the reality is that you are gone…and I can’t bring you back here, as much as I’d want to. And…I’m slowly accepting that. But I’m still going to miss you, bud…deeply…and probably forever. For you, I’m still going to live my life, wherever it’s taking me next, because I know what you did was just as much for me as it was for everyone else…but I’m still going to miss you…and I hope…wherever you are now…if you even are anywhere…you’re missing me too.”

He hauled himself up to his feet and took a deep breath. He gazed up at the statue for a long moment, taking in the likeness of his friend before him and burning it into his memory. As he did so, an oak leaf, having turned a faded orange, floated before him before the breeze pressed it against his chest. Spike gingerly took it into his claws and distractedly fingered it as he braced himself. “That just leaves one last thing I need to do now,” he murmured aloud to the statue, brow drooping with sorrow. “The hardest thing of all, but I think we both know I gotta do it, or I’m never going to get through this.” Actually saying it was hard though, and his first several attempts only ended up being false starts, turning into nervous lip-licking as he tried to get the words out. But at last, with one final mental shove, he managed to force them out.

“G…Goodbye, Thorax.”

And before he could give himself the chance to react, he spun around and forced himself to start the long hike back for the hive. He never once looked back, but only because he knew that if he did…then he could never move on.

As he neared the hive again, he found Princess Luna was standing alone in its entrance, waiting for him. When he approached her, she explained that they had received word from the royal guard—they could find no sign of any lingering changelings of malicious intent in Equestria or the Crystal Empire, and they had been given the all clear to return at their leisure. A train had been requested to be at Dodge Junction by noon and they were beginning preparations to head out to meet it.

Spike was taken aback by the suddenness of this announcement. “Just like that?” he asked.

“I’m afraid we do have other duties and responsibilities we all need to be getting back to, Spike, whether we like it or not,” Luna reminded kindly as they both walked into the hive. She nodded her head at Spike. “Of course, whether you follow is up to you, but you are still invited to accompany us, if you wish.”

Spike hesitated to reply just yet, still needing to time to process this. He glanced around the hive as they proceeded deeper into it, noticing a pair of reformed changelings watching them walk past. “What about the changelings?” he asked.

“Celestia has already decided to remain here a little longer, to keep working with them to set up some kind of provisionary government the hive can operate on in the stead of a queen until something better can be worked out,” Luna explained. “But even she will need to head back to Equestria at some point fairly soon.”

“Right, because she has duties and responsibilities too,” Spike said, nodding his head and reluctantly understanding. “I just don’t like doing anything to leave the changelings high and dry like this…especially after what’s happened.”

“I understand, but I think they will be all right, Spike,” Luna assured him in a soothing voice. “Perhaps the best thing we can do now is to leave the Changeling Kingdom to the changelings.”

“Maybe,” Spike mumbled, undecided on that.

Luna looked him over for a moment. “How are you doing?” she asked.

Spike sighed heavily and shrugged. “I’m not sure,” he admitted wearily. “But I’m trying to…cope.”

Luna closed her eyes and nodded sagely. “Sometimes that is all you can do in situations such as this,” she reasoned.

They walked on through the tunnels of the hive for a few more moments before Spike realized something. “Where are we going, anyway?” he asked.

“To where the others have been staying and are no doubt making their preparations to leave,” Luna explained. “It was my thinking that we could all meet together and then discuss how to pro—”

But they were cut short when a mint green changeling suddenly approached them. “Excuse me!” she said politely to the two as she got their attention. She gave a respectful bow to Luna which seemed to surprise the princess before turning her full attention to Spike. “I’m sorry to interrupt, Spike the Dragon, but our patient in the valetudinarium is asking to speak with you as soon as possible.”

“Patient?” Spike repeated, confused. “What patient?”

“You’ve met before,” the changeling explained. “His name is Julius.”

---

As Spike was led to the valetudinarium, the changeling version of an infirmary, his escort began to fill him in on what had happened with Julius since Spike last saw him. While going out to meet with Obsidian along with a group of changelings going to recall the squadron of changelings Chrysalis had sent to try and find the Vergilius, Ember remembered Julius in his cocoon and alerted the changelings of it, hoping they could do more with it than she could. They quickly recovered Julius’s cocoon and brought it back to the hive, taking him to their healers who immediately started to give Julius the treatment he needed to stay alive. To this end they had succeeded, though it was reportedly a bit touch and go when first pulling Julius out of the cocoon for treatment. Now Spike was assured that though it would be slow-going and that there would likely be lingering scarring afterwards, he would recover. Regardless, Julius had only regained consciousness just recently, and upon being filled in on the hive’s current situation, he insisted to speak with Spike as soon as possible. Spike assumed he was angry, but his escort assured that Julius just seemed more confused…which Spike could certainly understand. Considering how much Julius had missed since he was last awake, it all was probably coming as a shock.

When Spike arrived, he found Julius calmly lying on his side on top of a bed of moss. He had not reformed, but all things considered, this didn’t surprise Spike at all. The heavily burned left side of his black body faced upwards and was almost entirely covered with herbal poultices plastered to it with large amounts of green changeling gel. He had both eyes closed and appeared to be dozing, but as Spike approached, he opened his eyes—or at least his right eye, as his left seemed to be adhered shut with gel at the moment—and gave Spike a critical look over.

“Well,” he remarked in a snide, albeit slightly croaky, voice, “look who finally showed up.” He motioned for Spike to come closer with one hoof. “C’mere dragon, I want to talk to you.”

Spike approached a little closer, but not trusting the changeling’s intent, he made sure to remain out of his reach. “You seem to be recovering,” he noted aloud in an attempt to sound positive.

“Yeah, why is that?” Julius asked, raising the eyebrow over the eye he couldn’t presently open.

“I assume because the healers here are doing a good job.”

“That’s not what I mean and you know it, dragon.” He nodded his head in the direction of a couple of the healers, all reformed and standing across the room doing idle work. “But since you’ve brought it up…just what have you done to my hive, anyway?”

“Your hive?” Spike repeated critically.

Julius frowned. “You know what I mean,” he repeated again. “It’s my home, too. Or it was. Now I wake up and find everyone’s become multi-colored freaks, my queen’s been chased away, and suddenly changelings are being all buddy-buds with prey. So what in the name of the Informis Una did you do to make everyone like…well…that.” He practically spat out the last word as he said it.

Spike folded his arms. “I didn’t do anything, except maybe help open the gate,” he replied and nodded his head at the reformed healers too. “They did the rest themselves.”

“So you’re telling me changelings actually wanted to become frolicking rainbow-colored milksops?” Julius asked doubtfully and with heavy scorn.

“From your perspective, I can see how that’d be…disorienting,” Spike relented, speaking coldly but patiently. “But do you really think they would have done it if they didn’t first have a good reason? Maybe you should consider what that is before you judge.”

“From what I heard, it was because Queen Chrysalis was being a blockhead as usual.” Julius snorted. “But so what else was new? We all already knew that well before now…so really, why would it cause this now when it hadn’t before?” He shook his head, or at least as well as he could have given his current condition. He did seem to be a bit stiff. “No, you must have done something to push them all into this.”

“I swear to you that we didn’t,” Spike pressed, and in his mind, they hadn’t. Even all Thorax did was set the example as he died, leaving it really to the other changelings to choose to stand up and take the initiative for the rest.

But Julius still wasn’t convinced. “Considering how much your kind stands to gain from this stupid development, forgive me if I remain dubious.” He attempted to shake his head again. “But never mind that, that’s not what I want to talk to you about anyway.”

“Then what is?”

“Simple.” Julius leveled his one open eye on Spike. “Why am I still alive?”

Spike raised an eyebrow for this question and the almost incredulous and unappreciative tone Julius seemed to speak it in. “You have a problem with being alive?”

“Not especially,” Julius admitted. “But I do recall blacking out, fully expecting to next be meeting with the Informis Una herself, only to, as I already explained, wake up instead with a bunch of weird sickly-sweet colored changeling degenerates hovering over me and learning that it was instead my last target who’s really gone to meet the Informis Una.”

Spike frowned as he felt heart ache at the reminder of Thorax’s passing, but he attempted to push it aside. “Thorax refused to let that happen to you, not believing you needed to die. So if anything you should be thanking him for saving you.”

“Yes, but I just don’t understand why Thorax was willing to risk and give up so much of his own well-being so needlessly. Why would he want to? What was I to him?” Julius gave him a leveled look. “You do realize I was there to kill him and all of the rest of you too if I had to, right?”

Spike couldn’t help but look a tad smug. “Yeah, didn’t succeed at that, did you?”

Julius raised his eyebrow again. “Did I?”

Spike’s smugness vanished.

“My point,” Julius pressed on, “is that while I am glad I’m still alive, I just don’t understand why Thorax thought it was so important. I was a threat and a hindrance to him alive. He gained absolutely nothing from saving me, he knew that, I know it. He wasn’t that much of an idiot.”

“Well, you did help out by pointing us where we needed to go to get answers,” Spike reminded. “Maybe Thorax thought you could help again if you recovered.”

Julius snorted, which drew a brief cough from him in the process. “I told you what I did because I figured that I had nothing left to lose at that point,” he explained. “Being on the verge of falling unconscious muddying my thinking probably didn’t help. And I didn’t think telling you what I did would’ve made any real difference anyway. It certainly wasn’t for your guys’ benefit.”

“Then why did you do it?”

Julius remained silent for a moment. He chose not to answer. “Look, I’d thought that you might be able to explain it to me…but thus far all you’ve told me are…empty platitudes.”

“Thorax was a good soul, acting for a good far greater than the both of us,” Spike grumbled. “To him, it wasn’t his life that was important, it was the lives of all those around him, no matter who they were. That included even those that were enemies to him. Unlike you…he acted selflessly, not selfishly.”

“And that worked out oh so wonderfully for him in the end, didn’t it?” Julius quipped sarcastically. “All that selflessness certainly doesn’t get you very far when you’re dead. But it’s not like it’dmatter much anyway…even if he had survived this silly stunt of his, it’s not like it’s going to actually last…he’s only tossed the fate of the hive and all living in it out of the metaphorical frying pan. Right now, as I see it, we’re all still hanging in the air, at the peak of our fall, but soon it’s all going to come tumbling down like a rock and smack right into the fire. Then as we watch it all burn, we can reflect on how his selflessness sure was a hay of a waste of tim—ACK!”

Spike was suddenly upon Julius, furiously grabbing the changeling by his black curved horn and yanking it harshly. Alarmed, one of the healers started to hurry over to intervene, but stopped short when Spike shot her a glare making her cower and back off. He then turned back to Julius, reversing his grip on the horn as his initial fury cooled. “Look,” he said, calmer this time but his eyes still dangerous, “maybe you don’t understand why Thorax did what he did, but in the end you don’t have to. All you need to understand is that, for whatever reason, his actions gave you a second chance at life and he died ensuring you and all of the other changelings get to keep it. What you do with that chance is up to you, but do you really want to waste it?”

Julius’s gaze turned almost curious. “And what would you have me do with that chance?” he asked. He nodded his head at the reformed healer anxiously watching them both. “Degrade myself down so to be one of them?”

“I think you should at least hear them out,” Spike said, glancing at the healer before turning back to Julius. “They’ve been calling what happened an Enlightenment, Julius…that tells me that there’s something great to be learned from it. And seeing all of them could do it, I have to believe you have that same capability too. To paraphrase a friend, Julius…that step would be a big and hard step, but it’s one you certainly can still make…you just have to take the first step.” He released his grip on Julius’s horn and let his claws fall limp at his side. “I think Thorax saw something in you, and if so…I’d hate to see you squander yourself and fall short of it. So think long and hard about it before you decide where you go next, Julius…you’ve got plenty of time to do so, after all.”

Julius studied the dragon for a moment, his gaze unreadable. “I suppose so.”

Spike stepped back. “Are we done, then?”

Julius nodded. “Yeah. Get on out of here, dragon…I won’t keep you here any longer.”

Spike breathed another sigh and turned to go without further comment. Though he could feel the stares of the healers in the room on his back, no one tried to stop or delay him.

But as he reached the door and started to step out into the corridor beyond, he allowed himself a small smile while he heard Julius, turning to one of the healers, remark, “So…Enlightenment? That was really the best name you could come up with for that? I mean, it’s sort of a campy name to use to try and sway ’lings like myself, don’t you think?”

---

After meeting with Julius, Spike decided he’d better collect his own things, since he figured he was going to go with the others too. Exactly where he was going to go…he was still deciding. But it gave him something to do, so he collected the backpack he had brought with him into the hive and decided to sit and wait at the hive’s entrance for when the others arrived to head out themselves. There, he let himself lapse into thought while also looking himself over. He was still in quite a state as he never did clean himself up from yesterday’s events. He suddenly became self-conscious, especially the fact that he was no longer wearing the navy sweater vest he had become so accustomed to wearing. Some courteous changelings had recovered it from where he had last left it and attempted to clean out the bloodstains, but unfortunately it was simply too stained, and the attempts to clean it made it slightly shrink anyway, so while Spike thanked them for their efforts, he told them it was a lost cause and to go ahead and just dispose of the sweater.

He still had the long-sleeved shirt he typically wore under it at least, though it had been smudged and stained with dirt and other grime that it was now more off-white than the stark white it was supposed to be, and Spike doubted it was ever going to come fully clean either. It was scuffed and torn in spots anyway. He also still had the false eyeglasses, but he had stopped wearing them because of the lens that had cracked. While he waited though, he pulled them out of his shirt pocket, unfolded them, and held them out before him, reflecting back on his usage of them. He had grown so accustomed to wearing them as Spark that it seemed weird now to go such a stretch of time without them.

He supposed there was no real need to anymore after everything that had happened though, even if they weren’t damaged. The Spark identity he had built for himself was basically destroyed now. But as he thought about it, he didn’t feel like he could just go back to ol’ Spike the Dragon either, as things felt like they had changed too much, like he had outgrown his old identity.

“I guess I don’t know who I need to be anymore,” he mumbled to himself as he fingered the glasses in his claws.

The minutes continued to tick by as he sat at the entrance and waited. Eventually he heard someone walking towards him, but the entrance being a major thoroughfare even in these unusual circumstances for the hive, Spike didn’t think much of it until that someone stopped a couple feet behind him and politely, but awkwardly, cleared their throat. “Hello again, Spike.”

Spike turned, quickly recognizing the reformed changeling that was standing behind him. “Synthorax,” he greeted back, surprised. “What brings you here?”

The lime green changeling shuffled his hooves awkwardly. “I’d heard you all were making preparations to leave,” he said softly.

Spike nodded, tucking the false eyeglasses back into his shirt pocket. “The royal guard couldn’t find any sign of the changeling operatives that were trying to infiltrate Equestria, so it was decided it should be safe for us to all go back without fear of those operatives doing…you know…anything troubling.”

“That may not mean they aren’t still lingering around somewhere, planning out a new move,” Synthorax reminded in warning. “They may not be at Equestria’s positions of power anymore, but they also aren’t here at the hive, and they are almost certainly not Enlightened yet either. I fear they may yet cause trouble…especially if they manage to cross paths with Chrysalis, wherever she may be heading now.”

“Problems to worry about later,” Spike said with the wave of his claws, not wanting to think about it. “Personally, I’ve got…bigger things to worry about right now.”

He turned to peer out the open exit in silence for a moment. Synthorax approached closer and sat himself down beside him. “How are you doing?” he quietly asked.

Spike heaved a sigh, hanging his head. “Mostly, I’m just missing him.”

Synthorax nodded. “You are not alone.” He took a deep breath and didn’t linger on the subject. “So where are you going to go next in Equestria?”

Spike shrugged. “I don’t know. Still working that out, I guess.”

“Where would you like to be, then?”

“…somewhere I can find a bit of peace…somewhere friendly…” he glanced at the changeling sitting beside him. “Why do you ask?”

Synthorax let out his breath. “I was wondering to myself if it was going to be worth inviting you to stay here,” he explained.

Spike straightened, looking him over. “Here at the hive?” he asked.

Synthorax nodded, and turned to look him in the eye too. “I know…the hive might not seem like it’d be a good place to live right now, but…” he bit his lip for a second, “…with everything that’s happened, we want to try and…keep the forward momentum this…change that’s come upon us going, to…you know…follow the example of those that helped make it happen.”

“Like Thorax,” Spike concluded with a nod.

Synthorax nodded. “And you knew Thorax and what he stood for better than anyone else.” He shuffled awkwardly. “I’m sorry if I seem like I’m pressuring you, because I’m not trying to, but…we could really use that insight right about now…someone who’d know…well…just what sort of world Thorax envisioned…and how to best make it a reality.”

Spike smiled sadly and looked down at the floor. “You guys really, legitimately, want to continue what he started, don’t you?”

Synthorax averted his gaze, echoing Spike’s sad grin. “I and a fair number of others I’ve spoken with do, at least,” he admitted. “It’d seem like the best way to…not just commemorate him, but…also make up for…abusing him the way we did before the Enlightenment.”

Spike’s grin grew to be a bit cheerier. “I think that’s wonderful, Synthorax,” he said, approving. “I heartily support such a goal, because in a lot of ways…I’d like to do the same sort of thing. And, you know, now that all of you changelings are working so hard to be allies rather than trying to kill me…” Synthorax snorted uncomfortably at that, “…you’re all starting to…grow on me as equals and friends. I wouldn’t mind the chance to stick around and get to know you all better, help out where I can.” He then sighed, his grin fading away as he turned to gaze out the open entryway ahead of him and felt his heart sink in his chest. “It’s just…” He trailed off, unsure the right way to say it.

Fortunately, Synthorax understood. “…we all remind you of him, don’t we?” he observed slowly.

Spike nodded sadly. “I’m sorry, Synthorax,” he apologized. “It’s not that I don’t want to, honest…”

Synthorax waved for him to be silent. “I understand,” he assured.

“…it’s just,” Spike continued on anyway, and raised his gaze to peer at the hive interior surrounding him. “Every time I look at this place…I’m probably always going to think…this is where he died. And…”

“No, I get it, the reminders hurt to think about,” Synthorax said, nodding in agreement. He forced a reassuring grin. “I know exactly how you feel. To be perfectly honest, I didn’t really think you’d want to stay anyway…that was why I was being hesitant to even ask. I wasn’t sure if it even needed asking.”

“Well…at least this way you know with certainty my answer,” Spike reasoned. He still felt bad about it, though. “Look…it’s not like I never want to come back. I probably will at some point. It’s just…I…I need time to…to recover first.”

Synthorax nodded. “Yeah,” he said. He sucked in a fresh breath before continuing. “So…on to Equestria for you, then?”

Spike shrugged. “I guess,” he admitted. “To be honest…Equestria doesn’t seem all that welcoming either, it’s just…” he shrugged a second time, “…it’s always been home for me. And…I guess that seems like the best place to at least start.”

“Equestria’s a big place, though,” Synthorax pointed out. “Where within it are you going to try and settle down?”

Spike’s gaze turned distant, considering the possibilities. “I haven’t the faintest idea. There are plenty of possibilities…I’m just not sure…which one is right.”

Synthorax placed a hoof on the dragon’s shoulder. “Well…I hope you figure it out soon. I’d like to see you recover from this too.” They shared a grin for a second, and then Synthorax sheepishly rose. “Well, I have plenty of duties I need to do so…I better say goodbye now.” He offered one hoof to shake. Spike however decided to forgo the hoofshake and instead wrapped his arms around the changeling’s neck in a warm embrace. Surprised and unsure how he should respond back, Synthorax numbly just sat there for a split second. “Um…”

“It’s called a hug,” Spike explained preemptively, familiar to this reaction as he used to get it all the time from Ember.

“I know what a hug is,” Synthorax defended.

Spike smirked and squeezed him tighter. “Sure you do.” He continued on with the hug for another moment before releasing the changeling. “Well anyway…if you’ve got other things you need to be doing, I won’t delay you.” He paused then added, “But maybe we can still see each other soon.” He then snapped his claws, getting an idea. “In fact, if you need anything, you can write me a letter whenever you like and I can try to help, if you want.”

Synthorax frowned. “But we don’t get mail service out here at the hive, and I won’t know what address to send a letter to you at.”

Spike smiled. “You won’t need one,” and proceeded to quickly explain how to send him a letter via Spike’s dragonbreath, and the spell required to send a letter in lieu of a dragon. Spike may not have been the best one to explain this magic given his limited knowledge of the field, and this was evidenced by the fact that Synthorax struggled to follow along at spots. But eventually he understood Spike’s instructions and mentally filed them away.

“I will see if I can’t be in touch with you again, then,” Synthorax promised with a nod and a grin, before turning to trot off, heading back into the depths of the hive.

Spike watched him go for a second then called after him. “Synthorax?” He watched as the younger brother of Thorax paused and turned to look expectantly back at him. He grinned hopefully as he gazed about at the hive walls and motioned to it. “Help keep the hive safe.”

Synthorax nodded his head, a determined look in his eye. “I will,” he vowed, then to Spike, he added, “Good luck.”

Spike nodded back. “You too.”

Synthorax grinned before turning and vanishing into the winding corridors of the hive, leaving Spike waiting at the entrance again, mulling upon the brief discussion. Luckily, he wasn’t waiting long before the others arrived, all one by one filing in and gathering to leave. Even though she would be remaining at the hive a while longer, Celestia was even present so to bid farewell to the departing ponies and dragon. As they made these final farewells and preparations to leave, Spike was filled in on the travel itinerary. They were going to travel back to the Vergilius on hoof—as there was no desire to leave it here—and then fly the air yacht on to Dodge Junction. Once there, their train should already be waiting for them, which would then take them on to Ponyville, Canterlot, or further still if needed—it seemed some of the others were still uncertain on where they ultimately wanted to be at the end of today’s travels too.

But before they left and were still gathering outside in preparation to start their long walk (currently Rainbow Dash was arguing with Luna, who was to lead, over whether or not those who could would fly ahead to the airship, as that would be faster), Spike, standing to one side while he waited, heard someone call his name, and turned in time to see Ember fly in for a landing next to him. Unlike before at Thorax’s funeral, Ember had regained her more trademark collected demeanor, but she still regarded Spike with a faint look of concern in her brilliant red eyes.

“So, you’re heading out, then?” she asked softly.

Spike nodded as he looked the dragoness over. She carried her scepter as usual, but Spike was surprised to see she had apparently retrieved the armor she had been wearing when she first arrived aboard the Vergilius and had donned it. “I take it you’re heading out too, then?” he asked.

Ember nodded and averted her gaze for a second as she played with the crystal handle of her scepter. Then, to Spike’s surprise, she dropped to her knees and pulled the littler dragon into a gentle hug.

“I’m sorry this had to happen to you, Spike,” she whispered softly, her sadness clear in her voice.

Spike timidly returned the hug. “So am I,” he murmured back.

Ember gave him a light squeeze. “Are you really sure you don’t want me to stay around?” she asked gently. “I can stay however long you need me to. I owe you that much.”

Spike almost agreed to let her, if only to humor her, but as much as he did want Ember’s support around him, he knew she had duties she would be shirking in the process. “I’m sure,” he told her. “Besides…the other dragons are going to need you where they’re at, because I’m sure all of this is going to work them up a great deal once word gets around, if it hasn’t already, and I’m also sure there’s going to be a bunch that can’t accept the idea of the changelings being friends now…you need to be there to tell them differently. You already know that.”

Ember went quiet for a moment. “You know, you could always come with me,” she offered suddenly, “if you need someplace to go. There’ll always be a place waiting for you in the Dragon Realms…if you want it.” She phrased it like it was a vow, and Spike didn’t doubt her on it.

But after only a moment’s pause, Spike slowly shook his head. “Thank you, Ember,” he assured her, “but I’ve already thought about it…and I think my place is still in Equestria.”

Ember’s expression immediately soured. “Equestria?” she asked in disbelief, pulling out the hug suddenly and holding Spike at arm’s length. “And just where in Equestria are you going to go after what’s happened?”

“I don’t know,” Spike admitted, who really didn’t, despite giving the subject some steady thought for most of the morning. “But…it’s still my birthplace, Ember, where I was raised. It’s still home to me.”

“Even after what they’ve done, to you especially, and every horrible thing they’ve brought about in this whole mess?”

“They still helped bring about a reformation in the changelings in the end, didn’t they? And they’ve done nothing but promote it since it started.”

Ember growled to herself. “They still haven’t earned such loyalty, Spike.”

“I agree, they haven’t,” Spike concurred without objection. “Look, Equestria’s certainly hasn’t won either of our favors lately, and I can’t blame you for having a grudge against them because in a lot of ways I still do too. But Ember…don’t forget what started this mess in the first place…it was because there were those who couldn’t see an enemy as anything other than an enemy…and as a result, they missed out on a chance to give that enemy the chance to change when they showed they wanted to, as well as improve relations for everyone else far sooner, making an utter mess in the process…and now they’re all living to regret it.” He shook his head at her. “Don’t make the same mistake they did.”

Ember studied him for a long moment, then, sighing, she released him. “Yeah…okay,” she said. “I…I don’t know if I can agree with all of that just yet…but, darn it…you’ve still got a good point.” She pulled herself up, using her scepter as support, and the two stared at each other for a long moment. She shook her head. “Why aren’t you the Dragon Lord?” she asked suddenly. “You’d be so much better at it than me.”

Spike made a sheepish grin to himself, embarrassed by the flattering comment. “You’ll learn,” he stated confidently. “Besides…I couldn’t lead the dragons. I don’t understand them, not like you do.” He shrugged to himself. “I guess there’s too much pony in me.”

Ember managed a small grin herself. “Maybe that’s not such a bad thing,” she noted aloud. She sighed and turned serious again. “If you ever need anything,” she stated seriously, “you know where to find me.”

“I do,” Spike agreed with a nod.

Ember nodded back, then, unsure what else to say, reluctantly turned to go. She had only taken a few steps though when she turned back suddenly.“You know, you almost sounded like Thorax for a second there,” she impulsively blurted out.

Spike’s gaze narrowed determinedly and had only one response to that. “Good.”

Ember looked at him blankly for a second, but then understanding registered in her eyes. Choosing not to comment on it, she resumed departing reluctantly while silently waving a farewell to Spike, which he returned. After walking a few feet, she spread her wings and took to the air, flying off. Spike breathed a sigh then turned to face the others again. Most were still debating amongst themselves and hadn’t seemed to have paid much attention to him and Ember, but Spike still noticed Twilight standing nearby quickly shifting her gaze, revealing she had been quietly observing. Given her close proximity, Spike wasn’t especially surprised and thus couldn’t bring himself to care at the moment, so he didn’t call her out on it.

Soon they were underway, beginning the long hike across the barren lands surrounding the hive back towards the parked airship. As he walked, Spike kept looking back at the changeling hive gradually getting smaller behind him, feeling odd about leaving it behind like this. In the back of his head, he knew it was more about how he was leaving Thorax behind, but he was trying hard not to bump that very raw nerve and wouldn’t let himself dwell on it. However, it didn’t help that the first stretch of their hike was very sullen and little was said between them. It felt almost like they were all actively trying not to interact with each other, feeling too awkward about it given the seriousness of the past few days’ events. It was clear there were still lingering tensions between them all and they didn’t want to risk getting caught up in all of that, but were finding they didn’t know what else they could do instead except keep walking in general silence.

Fortunately, that changed as they crossed into the acorn grove and its soothing tranquility, unhampered by recent events, enveloped them. That peacefulness seemed to take some of the edge off their lingering uneasiness. Starlight at one point suggested Spike explain to the others what he knew about the changeling beliefs concerning acorns, and thankful for the distraction, he proceeded to do so. The others seemed to show some interest in the subject, and a couple asked a few questions, Luna especially, but what stuck with Spike the most of the conversation was the fact that Twilight didn’t join in. He half-expected her nerdy half to take over and, being fascinated, milk Spike of everything he knew on the changeling beliefs, but instead she never once asked a question or even spoke. She, along with Shining Armor and Cadance (and by association, Flurry Heart but only because she was being carried by her mother) kept a respectable distance from the dragon during the entire hike.

At last they arrived at the Vergilius’s location, still exactly where it had been left, parked at the outer edge of the acorn grove and having been left virtually untouched in the meantime. Eager to be going and knowing how to operate an airship, Luna urged everybody aboard and after a quick inspection to make sure everything was still shipshape and there was indeed enough charge remaining in the engines to get them to Dodge Junction (so long as they didn’t tax the engines above a certain speed, she determined they would), she assumed control of the ship’s wheel so to get them airborne. The others all went below deck so to settle in for the trip, except for Spike, who remained above deck and gazing about with glazed, distant, eyes.

He found being back aboard very surreal and looked about the air yacht as if it was the first time he had boarded it in many years. Of course he knew that wasn’t true as it had only been a day—scarcely anything had changed on or out of the craft since he and the others had left it—but that was precisely why he found it almost unsettling. He still felt as if it had been years, and that everything should’ve changed about the craft. To see it hadn’t caused a disconnection in his mind that it wasn’t prepared to handle. He soon realized that it wasn’t the Vergilius that had changed though…it was him. He was coming back to this airship a changed dragon. And scarily, he wasn’t sure yet if that change was a good thing, a bad thing, or simply neither. Worse, he wasn’t sure which one he wanted it to be…let alone what one he needed it to be.

The most horrible part about it all though were all the little reminders of Thorax still aboard. The most heart-wrenching was finding Thorax’s midnight blue hoodie where he had left it when leaving the air yacht, and Spike realized its owner was never going to be coming back for it now. Reverently though, he collected up the hoodie and other possessions Thorax had left aboard and packed them away in his bags to take with him to…wherever that might be next. While they flew along, Spike also kept expecting to look and see Thorax proudly standing at the controls of his airship as before, and was dismayed—if not annoyed—every time to see Luna elegantly positioned there instead. It eventually bugged him enough that he decided he didn’t completely trust her piloting his friend’s airship alone and joined her in the control cabin, assisting as needed. Luna took note of his assistance but for completely different reasons.

“I see you’ve picked up a thing or two about flying airships over the moons, young Spike,” she observed finally after some minutes of this.

“I’m still no expert, but I guess so,” Spike admitted distractedly as he studied the yacht’s gas board. The readings on all of the gauges of course hadn’t changed since the last time he had checked, but he checked them anyway.

Luna watched him for a second out of the corner of her eye then turned back to flying the craft. “Have you considered what you will do with the Vergilius after this?”

Spike blinked and turned to look at her, confused. “Why are you asking me?” he asked.

“Do you not have a say in the matter?”

Spike frowned. “It’s Thorax’s airship…not mine,” he reminded slowly.

Luna turned her head to look at him again, her gaze soft. “Spike,” she said gently, “I am quite certain Thorax would’ve wanted the Vergilius be left to you in his stead.”

Spike’s frown deepened and he averted his gaze, eyes sweeping across the interior of the craft’s control cabin. He had already thought of this, but the idea made his stomach clench uncomfortably. “What would I do with an airship, though?” he asked sadly, then shrugged. “Besides, I’m not trained or licensed to fly it.”

“A matter that can be corrected,” Luna replied, but seeing Spike looking increasingly uncomfortable about accepting possession of it, she went on. “But only if you want to, of course. If you do not feel now is the time for that, I am certain we can work out other arrangements.”

“Like what?”

“Well, first of all, the engines will need recharging once we land at Dodge Junction or she will not be going much further than that. Fortunately, considering trade ships come and go from the town occasionally, they should have sufficient tools to do so there. Then we can have the airship moved to another location for storage until such time you decide otherwise.” Considering the matter a second further, Luna then had an additional thought. “Prince Shining Armor, as I recall, is permitted and trained to fly an airship…perhaps I shall turn the controls over to him and he and Cadance can use it to fly north for the Crystal Empire rather than take the notably slower train. Considering they have Flurry Heart with them and had concerns about not reaching home before nightfall, that could be to their benefit.” Realizing Spike might have issue with that though, she turned back to him. “But only if you approve, of course.”

Spike, however, just shrugged indifferently. “So long as it stays safe, I guess I can’t really argue,” he admitted, not finding any reason to deny Shining and Cadance the usage of the air yacht despite the feeling in his gut about it. “Just tell them to be gentle with her, and it’s just to get them home…they can’t keep the Vergilius.”

“Of course,” Luna agreed. She went silent for a moment. “Have you spoken with them yet?”

“Cadance and Shining? No, not yet, I’ve hardly had the chance to.” Spike frowned as he reflected on how little he had seen of the pony couple. “They’ve been avoiding me, haven’t they?”

Luna sighed. “Yes,” she admitted, “but even though that’s the case, I assure you, they do feel deeply ashamed for their role in all of this. I believe they wish to do something to try and make it up to you at some point, but as yet are unsure what and how.”

“Can’t say I blame them, I don’t even know what they could do to do that.” Spike sighed. “I’m sure that confrontation between me and them is going to have to come sooner or later…but I’m not eager to face the pain that’s going to have to come with, so…I’m okay in letting them avoid me for now.” Though, mulling over how his talk with Twilight had put him in a slightly better mentality, he went on. “I hope they’ll still eventually try someday though.”

“They will,” Luna assured. “They just wish to be sure that you will actually hear them out first, among other things.”

Spike blinked, confused. “What other things?”

Luna looked at him in mild surprise. “I assume by that then, you remain unaware of Cadance’s injury to her leg?”

Spike was further confused. “What happened to her leg?”

Luna dejectedly turned back to flying the airship as she explained. “When we all first learned that Thorax had…” she trailed off uncomfortably then decided to try a different approach, “…while you were still in the initial stages of your grieving, you threw off anyone trying to approach you and, during one of those instances, I fear your claws cut Cadance’s leg.” Upon seeing Spike go wide-eyed at this, Luna went on. “Do not fear, the wound will recover fine and no one blames you. Clearly, it was an accident.”

“It was,” Spike assured and stared at his claws for a second, stunned he had done this. Looking back, he dimly recalled feeling his claws connect with something at the time, but in his grief he had refused to dwell on it. In all that had happened since, he had nearly forgotten about it. “I didn’t even realize I had done it, to her no less…gosh, I feel so bad about it now…”

“Spike, you didn’t intend harm,” Luna stressed again, trying to soothe the dragon. “And nothing lasting was done.”

“That doesn’t mean it should be overlooked,” Spike grumbled before falling silent for a moment. Despite how bad he felt, he couldn’t bring himself to face Cadance about it just yet, so he looked hopefully to Luna. “Can you tell her I’m sorry for me?”

Luna’s look suggested she didn’t approve of Spike shirking the duty, but she still relented with the solemn nod of her head. “I will, at the next soonest opportunity.”

Spike went back to looking at his claws, ashamed that, intentionally or not, he had drawn blood with them. “No wonder she and Shining are avoiding me.”

“No one is blaming you for what happened, Spike. The situation at the time was…highly stressful. It wouldn’t surprise me if Cadance would sooner blame herself.”

“She shouldn’t,” Spike repeated, but he didn’t argue further.

The flight continued on without much event, and a little past noon they arrived in Dodge Junction as planned and Luna set the airship down so they could disembark. Being such a small town, Dodge Junction really only had a large fenced-off field with a steel docking tower at the center to land in, but it worked well enough for their purposes. Once Luna made arrangements with the scant-few ponies crewing the area so to have the ship refueled, she checked again with Spike if he had any special requests on what to do with the airship after that was done.

When he again deferred to Luna’s judgment on the matter, the princess went ahead and informed Shining Armor and Cadance that they were free to use the air yacht to return to the Crystal Empire, so long as it could be returned unharmed to Spike afterwards, as discussed before. According to Luna, Shining Armor stated that he doubted they could fly the craft all the way back to the empire before nightfall and reminded that the turbulent weather of the Frozen North made it hazardous for most airships to try and navigate anyway, a fact both Luna and Spike had forgotten. Regardless, Shining and Cadance accepted the offer, planning to fly for a town located at the edge of the Frozen North instead, and asked Luna (who grumbled about being the “unwilling messenger”) to relay to Spike both their thanks and a promise that they would return the craft unscathed at soonest convenience.

Their group thus reduced by three, those remaining continued for the train station and found their requested train already waiting for them as requested. It was a specially prepared train and was not full length. Besides the standard coal car and caboose, the train was only hitched to a standard galley car, a passenger car, and a sleeper car, all just enough to provide basic amenities for their passengers which the train’s crew knew in advance would include royalty. The train had been waiting long enough that it was already ready to go, they were just waiting for their passengers. So no sooner had they all boarded the train and settled into seats at random in the passenger car, the train jolted once and was quickly off, heading north for their next destinations.

Light conversation ensued during the first few minutes of the trip, as a few of them bantered with each other, but scattered as they were about the car (there was plenty of seating to do so), none of the conversation included the whole group. That changed when Rarity, watching the scenery roll past her window, spoke up optimistically.

“I will be quite glad once we’re all back home in Ponyville and the worst of this is behind us,” she spoke aloud and turned to look at the others riding with her. “Don’t you all agree?”

Spike, who had a seat to himself but not so far away that he was isolated from everyone else, looked up at Rarity. “All of us?” he asked aloud, finding the thought sounded very odd to him.

“Well, of course, Spike, unless you intend to be heading somewhere else,” Rarity replied with a kind smile.

Spike simply blinked to himself a couple of times, turning blank.

“Well, I for one am ready to be home again, if only so I can get back in my own bed,” Rainbow Dash took that chance to speak up and uncomfortably arched her back, popping it. “No offense to the changelings, but last night those moss beds of theirs really weren’t cutting it for me.”

“So yer first priority when ya git home is basically yer bed,” Applejack remarked, raising a questioning eyebrow, but there was a small tone of jest in her voice.

“Well,” Rainbow relented, “unless there’s something else you need me to do first.”

Pinkie Pie’s head suddenly poked up from over the back of her seat, looking eager. “Ooh! We can have a party celebrating our safe return home!”

But everyone immediately flinched at the idea. “I don’t think a party is the right thing to be having given the circumstances of late, Pinkie,” Starlight Glimmer pointed out gloomily, glancing knowingly at the party planner.

“Ohhh, good point,” Pinkie crooned thoughtfully, and glanced briefly at Spike. Spike, however, was lost in thought and didn’t notice Pinkie looking his way. But unperturbed by that, she tapped her hoof for a second, giving it some thought. “Okay, maybe not a party then…so how about a nice and relaxed…uh…luncheon instead?”

“That would be all good and fine,” Luna said as she turned her head to interject from where she sat at the front of the car, “but I would think it would be much closer to dinnertime than lunchtime by the time we reach Ponyville.”

“Fine, it can be a dinnereon instead,” Pinkie replied without missing a beat.

Luna rolled her eyes in good humor and didn’t debate it further.

“As nice as that all sounds though,” Applejack spoke up, “Ah’m a thinkin’ Ah’ll be busy with more important things t’night. After all, Ah reckon mah family’s worried sick ’bout me by now, and Ah sure as hay don’t want ta keep ‘em waitin’.”

“I might have to pass too,” Fluttershy added. “I think those changelings probably weren’t giving the animals at my cottage the attention they needed while I was away, and I’m just certain they’re going to need some tender love and care right about now.” She averted her gaze a little. “I certainly could.”

“And that’s why we’re having the dinnereon!” Pinkie contended. “It’s a chance for all of us to give each other all a bit of tender love and care by being all together again in Ponyville!”

Rainbow made a gagging noise. “Kinda coming across as extra sappy there, Pinkie,” she said.

“But a little sappiness is called for, Rainbow,” Pinkie persisted. “We’ll all be back in Ponyville like we should be, you, me, AJ, Rarity, Fluttershy, Twilight, Spike, Starlight, Trixie…it’ll be like nothing happened!”

“It’ll hardly be like nothing happened,” Trixie objected suddenly from where she was sitting beside Starlight. Pinkie’s cheery views on the matter weren’t sitting well with her. “And I’m not usually in Ponyville anyway, so why am I getting grouped into this?”

“It’ll almost be like nothing happened, then,” Pinkie amended undeterred, but otherwise ignoring Trixie’s comments.

She looked the group over expectantly, awaiting some sort of response. But the others glanced about at one another for a silent moment, uncertain about committing to the idea just yet.

“I’m not going back to Ponyville.”

All eyes turned to Spike suddenly, shocked for this unexpected announcement.

Spike, to his credit, looked apologetic for it, but he remained resolute. “I can’t,” he offered simply for explanation. “The idea just…” he trailed off, guiltily averting his gaze and unable to convey how sick to his stomach it made him feel.

The continued looks of shock he was getting from everyone else didn’t help. “Spike…” Rarity breathed, “…but why?”

Spike hung his head further. “I don’t feel like I’d belong there anymore,” he attempted to explain.

“Codswallop!” Applejack objected. “Ya belong there just as much as all the rest of us, Spike, no matter wut’s happened!”

“I don’t feel like I should be there, then,” Spike corrected. “Not…not after everything that’s happened.”

“But…but…” Pinkie started to object, looking crushed. “…everything’s supposed to be back to the way it was…”

“But Pinkie, that’s just it,” Spike said, sadly locking eyes with the pink mare. “It can’t be back to the way it was, and we shouldn’t try. Too much has happened. Too much has changed. I’ve changed. You’ve changed.” He shook his head. “I’m sorry. I really am. I…I don’t really want to do this, in a way, but…”

“Then don’t!” Rainbow said. “Spike, you’re just as much as part of this group as the rest of us!”

“It doesn’t matter if I am part of any group anyway,” Spike pressed on. “It’s just…I…I can’t do it. The thought of setting foot back in Ponyville…makes me feel awful…and I just can’t stop thinking…it’s not where I need to be anymore.”

A long and heavy silence fell upon the group as they tried to process this.

“Then where the hay are you going to go, Spike?” Trixie slowly asked.

Spike shrugged, there really only being one place left to him by process of elimination. “Back to Vanhoover, I guess.” He didn’t have any idea what he’d do there anymore than he would anywhere else, but he felt better about it than anywhere else at the moment. “That…that just seems like the place to go to right now…for me, at least.”

Another long moment of silence fell as they all continued to stare at Spike, many of them searching for some way to talk Spike out of it. But then Twilight, who had otherwise kept silent during all of this, rose and, moving slowly, approached Spike’s seat, the dragon watching her closely. Twilight’s face wasn’t too expressive, but it still wasn’t a happy looking face, and he feared what it was she might say. But when she arrived, she sat herself down, looking him over for a moment. Then she leaned over and gingerly pulled him into a hug, taking a deep breath in the process.

“I still have all of your Ponyville things,” she murmured gently as she embraced him. “I can have them shipped to you in Vanhoover, if you want.”

Spike hesitated, then realizing she was giving approval of his choice, sadly returned the bittersweet hug. “I’d like that, Twilight.”

Then, not speaking further on the matter, they pulled apart, and as the others continued looking on, Twilight walked back to her seat, considering the matter settled. “So wait,” Rainbow started to object, rising from her seat too. “You’re just going to let him go, Twi?”

“Yes,” Twilight answered simply as she sat back down.

“What the hay for?” Rainbow continued to protest, turning herself to keep facing Twilight.

“You don’t understand, Rainbow,” Spike said. He sniffled and wiped at his nose quickly, showing this wasn’t easy for him to decide either. “I need to do this. I…I wish I could explain it better, but…I just do.” He shrugged helplessly again. “Look, all I know is that…the next step for me…it’s not in Ponyville.”

“But if not there, then why Vanhoover instead?” Rarity asked.

Spike shrugged. “I gotta go somewhere,” he pointed out then sighed. “Besides…it’s home.”

“Ponyville is yer home last time Ah checked, Spike,” Applejack stated.

Spike looked over at her. “Not for the past four and a half moons it hasn’t, Applejack,” he replied pointedly.

Seeing his point, Applejack averted her gaze, ashamed. The others did likewise.

“But aren’t we all supposed to be getting off at Ponyville?” Fluttershy asked suddenly. She looked at Spike, concerned. “You’d be traveling the rest of the way all alone.”

“At least let one of us accompany you to Vanhoover, Spike,” Rarity added, agreeing.

Starlight raised her hoof, volunteering. “I…was thinking about heading up to my old village, see if I can make it in time to catch the tail end of the Sunset Festival taking place there to…sort of make up for missing it. So I could ride with you as far as Vanhoover on the way, Spike.”

Trixie frowned and looked at her friend. “But wouldn’t you have to change trains at Ponyville to get there? I thought the line we’re on now doesn’t go that far northeast, and…”

“Shush,” Starlight hushed, who was overlooking that detail.

Spike managed a small grin at the offer nonetheless. “Thanks anyway,” he said. “But I don’t want to keep any of you from your own homes. You all have your own places you need to be…mine’s just somewhere else.” He looked up and saw all of their sad faces, and sighed. “Don’t worry girls, really. I’m…I’m going to be fine, I just…I need to do this.”

The others all exchanged glances, not entirely convinced, but at the same time knowing they were in no good position to justify stopping him or objecting much further. One by one, they all started to bow their heads in surrender.

“I hope you find what you are looking for in Vanhoover then, Spike,” Luna spoke suddenly, the first time she had contributed to the discussion. Like Twilight, she seemed to be siding with Spike on the matter.

“Thank you, princess,” Spike murmured. He paused for a moment then rose from his seat, heading for the back door leading into the sleeping car. “Anyway…I’m…I’m going to go rest up a bit…it’s been a long day.”

They all quietly watched him slip into the next car then the rest of them all settled back into their seats, the mood in the car severely dampened as they all sulked.

“Can’t believe you’re just going to let him go like this, Twi,” Rainbow grumbled under her breath, folding her hooves grumpily as she stared at the floor.

Twilight didn’t reply right away as she sat in her seat, her gaze distant. “He has a life of his own now, Rainbow,” she replied finally. “We have to stop denying that and let him make his own choices.” She hung her head. “He’s certainly proven himself capable of that now.” She closed her eyes and sighed. “Besides…he needs some space.”

Luna turned in her seat to look at her. “That was a very brave, trusting, and mature choice you’ve made, Twilight,” she spoke gently. “I know it couldn’t have been easy to make.”

“It was what was needed,” Twilight murmured.

“So to give him that chance to recover, right?” Starlight asked of her mentor. “Like what you’re trying to do?”

Twilight’s gaze wandered to look out her window. “Who said that I was?”

The others only exchanged concerned glances at this.

Author's Note:

Could've taken this chapter just slightly longer, but I wanted to keep it under 20,000 words, and I know 17,000 is pushing it for some readers, so I figured the remainder could work as an opener for the next chapter.

The changeling representative that gives a eulogy for Thorax, by the way, is the same changeling that's conducting the feelings forum in "To Change a Changeling" minus her shawl (as I figured she wouldn't have it yet). I'm saying this here, because as she doesn't even have a fanon name, I had to work off a physical description to convey her identity and I knew that was only going to go so far.

Also, I dropped an indirect reference to Pharynx in there...did y'all catch it?

Credit to DarkDMan who suggested a couple chapters back that Thorax be buried in/at the acorn grove. My initial plan had him being buried just outside the hive and even then he wasn't so much "buried" as he was placed on a pedestal and it along with him was transformed with changeling magic into the described statue, as that seemed like a very "changeling" sort of thing to do. But not only did the idea of burying him at the acorn grove strike me as beautiful especially considering the lore I've built around it, the more I thought about it, the more it also made sense the changelings would bury him, considering their beliefs. So I adapted my plans accordingly.

The epitaph for Thorax is actually a bunch of real Latin epitaphs that have been used, strung together into a logical phrase and adjusted as needed (originally it said "long in years," but as that didn't make sense seeing Thorax was dying young, I changed it to "short in years").

Julius, Synthorax, and Ember all have had their concluding scenes now. Except for possible mentions by name here and there in remaining chapters, their roles in the story have largely been completed now.

And to all those who feared Spike wouldn't be going back to Vanhoover...do you really think I would've spent all that time having him build a life there if I didn't plan to come back to it? I mean, seriously now...

Speaking of Vanhoover...guess who'll be popping back up next chapter?

Comments

[Krazyfan1]

Great as usual
..Twilght...what are you trying to do?
.....time travel?

[Mother3Forever]

Oh god.... Fly Leaf is gonna be devastated. Along with the Gang that liked his Parkour.

[Bronyz4ever90]

Niceu Niceu :) That was pretty good, and I'm glad that Spike is moving on an goin back to Vanhoover like that. When do you think the confrontation between Cadence and Shining anyway?? Near the end? I imagine that since they were directly responsible for beginning the events that took place, leading up to Throax's death; that will always stand in the way of Spike ever being friends with them ever again.

[killergoonie]

Great chapter as usual, i really hope fly leaf accepts him back (pretty sure she will though). Really hope spike finds what he needs to find.

[Ogopogo]

I apologize in advance for being harsh.

Reading through the last few chapters, I held off commenting because I wanted to see how the story played out. Now, I can say that I feel Thorax's death detracted from the story. It's nothing about not being sad, but I honestly felt more annoyed that that was the route the it went. It's ill-fitting, feels forced, and just there for the sake of drama. Any message or meaning in the last chapters felt hollow to me. While the ending is well written technically and thematically (albeit rather drawn out), as an element of the story I feel it falls flat hard enough to bring down the rest of the story.

The death of a main character can impact a story for better or worse, and there are times when writers are afraid to take that step when they really should. I think you took that step when you really shouldn't have. It very nearly feels like a bait and switch, as if I was reading one story up to a certain point where it became a second one. Maybe the elements were there earlier on to make the story better fit the ending, but if they were there, they were either woefully weak, absent or completely outweighed by elements of hope instead of sacrifice.

I've read through a few comments and if this was your goal from the start, the execution needed to be tighter. Tragedy or elements of sacrifice can walk a fine line and be far less forgiving than other stories in drawing them to a point. Focus better needs to be kept on the goal and the overarching plan. Ultimately, it is your story and this just my opinion, but I don't think I can recommend it due to the conflict between the start and middle of the story, and it's end.

[Mr cold ghost]

Beautiful as usual sir. Thanks for the update!

[Johnny B Mediocre]

Twilight, if you're gonna do some timey-wimey bullshit ala Starlight Glimmer to "fix" everything you did just to get Spike and everyone to trust you/forget this moral scandal of yours ever happened then I have some very important advice for you

media.giphy.com/media/znSEGYU37jgCk/giphy.gif

did you learn nothing from It's About Time - hell, did you learn nothing from this?

[SageBrony07]

Wow. Great chapter. I approve of the ending. I wonder are we now at the epilogue portion. I do hope Spike enjoys Vanhoover.

[GrimmWolfDragon]

Great chapter.

[Mad as a Hatter]

HEADCANON:
An acorn was placed upon Thorax's wound during the burial to grant his spirit a place as part of the next generation of "Origin Oaks".

(That awful moment when you forget if an important part of changeling culture had a different name than the one you typed)

[The Silent King]

Yay Fly Leaf and Ragg maybe!

[lazyreader19]

Could've taken this chapter just slightly longer, but I wanted to keep it under 20,000 words, and I know 17,000 is pushing it for some readers

poppycock! I'll read a 100k chapter if i had to!

Speaking of Vanhoover...guess who'll be popping back up next chapter?

OH BOY, I CAN'T WAIT TO SEE 💸🍁AGAIN

8666145
I think the ending was more along the lines of "I don't deserve forgiveness and will wallow in my failure forever" mindset than anything cunning or crazy.

[Ayla]

The funeral was so sad!

Fly Leaf! I am so happy that she'll be back next chapter. I've missed her.

[NonDescript]

Okay, I'm confused by some of the comments here. Is everyone reading the final line of dialogue by Twilight to mean she's up to something, or not trying to give Spike space to recover? Cause I interpreted it to be in response to Starlight saying "Like what you're trying to do?", implying that Twilight doesn't see herself being able or willing to recover. I'm not saying I'm right, but it feels there's a little bit of ambiguity there as to which way it's meant to be interpreted.

I have to specifically make mention to the quality of this chapter though, and not just because it wraps up the hive for the story very well. It's always good when a story can do more than just show what's happening, but play into something wider, and you do that masterfully here. You have Spike all through out the chapter demonstrating several different ways that he has changed when interacting with the different characters, while still continuing with the normal story beats, not making that the main focus.

All of this re-enforces Spike saying he's changed, since we've had that demonstrated in this chapter before he even tells us that. While it may not be so clear to the ponies, it's immediately clear to us as an audience we're he's coming from.

It also shows how the other characters have changed. Starlight gains her confidence back to face her old village, precisely like the show. Trixie is still feeling the emotions of losing Thorax, but is able to feel the acceptance and kindness of Spike who's learnt better now, and she's no longer talking in third person and boastfully. Ember is showing a more protective side, particularly with Spike, as well as a more affectionate side, and shows how much she values Spike, as well as the new direction the changelings are taking. And obviously the last few chapters have all been about how Twilight is having to face reality.

Spike is right, everyone has changed since the beginning of the story, and this chapter demonstrates it all very nicely.

Love what you do Scyphi. Appreciate the work you put into this story.

[Grif_Bladefeather]

i do hope that she'll be getting a large compensation and a apology straight from the mouths of equestrian royalty for a wrongful arrest, i'd still like to see some public mention of a disclosure on the events, at least a public censor on twilight's actions.

[Adam Jensen]

“So to give him that chance to recover, right?” Starlight asked of her mentor. “Like what you’re trying to do?”

Twilight’s gaze wandered to look out her window. “Who said that I was?”

The others only exchanged concerned glances at this.

Do you feel like a hero yet, Twilight?

8666610
This is correct. Twilight isn't up to anything. She has begun to accept the reality of her actions. This chapter shows how a lot of the characters have changed, but it is Twilight in particular that has changed the most. Letting Spike just walk away after everything she has done to get him back. The whole point of her actions, the very reason she did it all, was for nothing.

[Kiue Jin]

I feel like... once Spike gets back to Vanhoover... there needs to be a Wake held for Thorax. Not a funeral per-say, but just a gathering or party to allow those who knew and were friends with him in Vanhoover to get together and celebrate the changeling that had been in their lives only briefly, but had in his own way changed them for the better.

[Jade Dawn]

8666145
I actually would kinda like to see that...

[Level Dasher]

Wow. You managed to pack a lot into this chapter, all of it well worth the read (though due to my time zone I did have to pause for sleep). Very nice job on the funeral, and I did pick up all the little references you threw in. Now I eagerly await Fly Leaf's (and possibly Ragg's) reaction to everything.

I recognize that the end of this chapter is Twilight accepting the fact that the damage she's done is irreversible, and possibly irreparable, but since it does feel a tad ambiguous, I'll admit I wouldn't mind seeing a side story where she does attempt to use time travel to 'fix' everything...

[GSandSDS]

If I think about the ramifications of the events that happened until now, it seems that Equestria and the surrounding countries may face dark times. Or at least darker times:

- The changelings are without a leader. Ember may have promised some sort of protection, but she cannot protect the changelings from themselves. There is no Thorax as the great example to convince the renegade changelings to give friendship a chance.
- Pharynx is a big unknown in the equation. Without a changeling leader and Thorax for moral support he may or may not try to take over the hive (in order to "protect them from themselves" and their "ludicrous new ways"). He may or may not try to take revenge on Spike or Twilight (depending on what kind of information about Thorax' death he gets). He may even try to support Chrysalis.
- Thorax and Ember will never have their conversation about "assivertiveness" and "respecting the feelings of others / not being a bully". So Embers reign may take a different route.
- Twilight's integrity as the "Princess of Friendship" is (at least for the moment) broken. How can she be an example for others when she failed so hard? Well, that's maybe something she is thinking for herself right know. She was the one who once told Starlight that even one broken friendship can lead to disastrous. And now so many friendships ans even some alliances have at least been weakened or some even broken.
- Her role a a "friendship teacher" to Starlight Glimmer seems to be over now, and I'm thinking about things like the butterfly effect: Will Starlight Glimmer be able to solve a possible frienship problem between Celestia and Luna?
- Will Twilight try to free Star Swirl and the other pillars from limbo? Will she get her hooves on his book at all? What would happen if the Pony of Shadows is freed in this timeline?
- Will there be a "friendship festival" since in the original timeline this was her idea? And with friendships weakened and no Spike, will she be able to fight back the invasion of the Storm King?

Well, at least Twilight will never see the importants events of the original timeline and the definetive consequences of her actions (until now she can only speculate of what would happen differently). If she could see them... I... well... to be honest, I really don't know what would happen then.

[GSandSDS]

Btw. the story is still a little bit hard to find using the search engine if you are not really knowing what you are looking for. Maybe some suggestions for some additional tags?

- Changelings (for obvious reasons, I think this counts as a character tag)
- Adventure (because the later chapters of the story are more adventure than slice of life)
- Death (that's one of the new tags the Fimfiction staff added – and it doesn't say who dies)

[fanreader999999]

Finally got up to date on this and yeesh now I remember why I took a break from this before.

The story is still good but still redundant. The writing also struggles to manage with the sheer size of its cast at one time, notably the Mane 6.

That said, I hope the story wraps itself up soon. At this point it's really starting to feel like the story is just spiraling into progressively smaller circles.

[TrainDude90S]

Spike's doing the right thing returning to VANHOOVER. I would too & their will always be better ponies out their in Equestria besides the MANE 6, or the princesses.

[DarkDMan]

Really heart felt chapter. And thanks for the 'shoutout'. Was really hoping, Spike would have kept the airship to travel to Vanhoover and more but, this works well to. A later date and maybe future travels, cowboy!

Looking forward to, Fly Leaf's, return!
Get better soon, Spike and Farewell, Thorax!

[Betshet]

Okay so, I really like this story, but I feel like sometimes you're insulting the reader's intelligence by over-explaining things to death.
It's a problem that has been present in the story for a long time, but a paragraph in this chapter in particular stood out to me as really long for nothing.

Upon arriving in the room, which was already occupied by Luna, Celestia, and most of Twilight’s friends, Spike chose to sit apart from the others, distancing himself from them. It showed that while there had been some improvement in relations between the dragon and the other ponies, there remained a rift between them, smaller now than before, but still considerable. It proved just how much further they had to go before reparations between them could be complete…and even then there hung in the air the strong sense that things still wouldn’t ever be the same because of what happened.

You could have just said "Spike chose to sit apart from the others, distancing himself from them." and it would have been more than enough, you didn't have to explain in detail why he did it and hammer the reader on the head with things that he could have deduced himself.

[Earthpatriot117]

This is the hardest I've cried so far, damn you! Lol
That momment with spike and the grave was...beyimd words bro, beyond words.
Oh fly.....im gonna cry again, just watch. Xp

[Lord Headcheez]

After the sibling comment, I can't help but wonder what Twilight Velvet and Night Light think about all this, since it's now all but confirmed that Spike grew up with them.

[Scyphi]

8666255
But...but...but....
media1.giphy.com/media/8CnleoRecTkha/200.gif

But no, no time travel in this story, so no worries about that.

Interestingly, I was toying with an idea like that as a possible follow-up to the story at one point though...Twilight wasn't responsible for it though...nor was Spike...but I'm not really seriously considering it any more, so it's a moot point.

8666600
All I know is that the closer to 20,000 words a chapter gets, the more likely I'm to see someone complain it seems. Can't say I'm in total disagreement with that though. 20,000 words is a bit excessive for one chapter on a site where reading the whole chapter in one sitting is typically the most ideal practice, so if I do a 20,000 word chapter, I try to make sure to have a darn good reason for it at least.

8666603
Fly does seem to have become something of a fan favorite. I just might need to keep her around for use in other stories after "Grief"...

8666742
Way ahead of you on that.

8666993
And I have thought of all this (well, expecting the movie of course as I still haven't seen it...I know, I know, but I want to watch it legitimately, and I just haven't found a way to do it yet). If I wanted, I could easily use "Grief" to effectively "break" the MLP canon severely. But I think that just because all of this has happened in "Grief" doesn't necessarily mean all those bad outcomes have to still come to pass, and are instead still completely avoidable or overcomeable...just maybe not with the same actions or taken within the same timeframe.

Of course, you could also look at it this way: if I ever choose to do it, I'll have plenty of material I could use for a hypothetical sequel.

8667073
Added the changelings tag--bit surprised it wasn't already there looking back, but I think I was thinking at the time that, with the Thorax tag and him expected to be the key changeling of focus and not so much the race on a whole, I didn't need the other tag...which is silly now that I think about it, but oh well--and the adventure tag, on the grounds that the story on a whole actually does have a sort of adventure element to it...it's just sometimes its more prominent than at other times.

No go on the death tag, though, but I did debate it to myself for a bit. Eventually I decided not to though because it does still say someone died, and I did drop hints to Thorax's demise throughout the story that, if you are looking close enough, could be enough to make one suspect. Couple that with a death tag, and it feels like it'd almost be giving it away.

Of course, it seems most readers missed many of those hints regardless, but still...

Besides...death seems like such a dark and downer of a tag, and I still maintain that completely doesn't match with "Grief's" overall mood, no matter how much the naysayers try to tell me otherwise.

8667159
Part of the reason the Mane 6 might feel like extras in the story is probably because they aren't usually the chief characters of focus, so when they do appear, I can see how it'd seem a bit sudden. But at the same time, the Mane 6 on a whole do provide vital elements to the story's universe, so there were still moments where I couldn't avoid not getting them in the mix. And then of course, ensure they stay relevant for whatever scene they are in, so I generally try to rotate through all six of them when they're in a scene together, so they all get at least a moment of relevance...

I agree, it'd probably be better if I could've done without all six of them, but hey, I wasn't the one who put all six of them in the official canon and made all of them so important to everything ever in Equestria in the first place, that was Hasbro. Point being though, if you have one, the rest usually aren't far behind. And in a story such as this, well...it makes sense all six would be around.

As for chapter count, I'm trying my hardest to keep the rest of the story contained to under ten chapters--or even under eight if possible (because I'm told that's when we'll hit a full one hundred, and even I think that's ridiculous), so I'll be upset with myself if I manage to fail at that, but I guess we'll see.

...so totally going to go back and combine some of the shorter chapters at the start of the story so to whittle down the chapter count a bit when this is all posted though...

8667326
You have to keep in mind that Spike (with Fly's help) got that airship specifically for Thorax...and then said owner died effectively during it's maiden voyage. At the moment, the airship is just too hard a reminder of what happened and Spike can't push himself past that just yet. But maybe with time.

Besides, even if Spike had accepted it, he couldn't have flown it anywhere just yet--he's not licensed to do so. Nor fully trained to fly it, as he knows enough to keep it on course, but he has little experience with all the other aspects of flying the craft...most especially landing and takeoff.

8667687
...except past experience has demonstrated to me again and again that if I don't, readers WILL miss significant things, become confused or misled in my intentions, and then I have to explain it all out in detail anyway so to clear things up. Granted, I probably do overcompensate for this in spots, but admittedly, for right now I'd rather have that than having too little, at least until I can better refine that needed fine balance between too much and too little.

It's a problem I have been gradually been getting made more and more aware of as more and more time goes by, though, and I am working more and more to address it where I can with every new chapter. It's just sometimes one has to keep in mind that, for me at least, there is a reason why I might write something the way I do.

Besides, the paragraph you cite makes me see it another way, because it still bears points I feel are relevant and important to point out, enough to take the time to say it. They're clues to help the reader get into the heads and lines of thinking of the characters, clues about what sort of emotional state they're in and what's going through their minds. So I think the problem is less that I give that info at all and more about how I present it. Now that you've made me aware of it, I can see how that paragraph could use a rephrasing...but I'd still keep most to all of the key points it includes if I were to do that.

It all boils down style anyway. Some would do it one way, some another, and others another way still. In the end, what's important is that the writer is still able to present what he or she is trying to say clearly in a manner that is still enjoyable for the average reader, and there's many ways to achieve that. I have my way...others have theirs that are different.

At any rate though, once it's all said and done, I do intend to go (though maybe not right away) back through the whole story from start to finish and give it one final edit-through. When I do, I expect I will probably try and edit instances of this where I see them as I can. Until then, I'm trying to catch them as I write new chapters and at least reduce how often it takes place. Just don't expect me to perfectly remedy the issue all at once--like with all things with writing, it's very much a work in progress that's going to take time. At this point, "Grief" will probably never be entirely free of it to everybody's satisfaction no matter what I do.

[Betshet]

8668420
I get where you're coming from, it's hard to satisfy everyone, but don't forget that ultimately you're the one writing the story how you like it, not your readers.
And just for reference, I'd like to point you to authors that do a fantastic job at the "show don't tell" thing while still being fairly popular authors with regular spots in the featured box : kudzuhaiku and shortskirts&explosions / imploding colon
I feel like you could take a lot from the way they show to the reader their character's emotions and thought with little to no exposition

[Madd]

Ooh ooh ooooooh. Is it Rag?

[Rubiks_Err0R]

8666230 I still refuse to believe it was planned from the start.

The fact it happened at all outright killed the story in my eyes (I'm still reading if only out of obligation to myself).

8666255 I'm pretty sure, if time travel is in the cards, that she's actually going to prevent her own general jackassery by convincing her to listen to Spike.

[DarkDMan]

8668420
Yeah, I read that part, but it felt like you had, Luna, drop some serious hints to just take it and fly! Again, maybe in the future. I just really interested in seeing all the places he can go from here. Vanhoover, Crystal Empire, stay it the Hive or the Dragon Lands, or just fly! It's sad how it happened but, it's, Spike's, life now, and he's got many options. Would like to see him take more than one, if only for a short time.

[GSandSDS]

8668420
Okay, a little warning right at the beginning: Initially I only wanted to write the first sentence, but... well, it ended in a mess of disordered thoughts and lot's of "complaining". Sorry for that in advance.

Well, I suppose it's often not easy for a writer to choose with categories/tags to choose for a story. Each tag is a potential spoiler. However, the way I understand the tags is that they are not only a help to find certain stories but also to avoid certain stories. At least the Fimfiction search engine gives you the tools to exclude certain tags. Especially tags like "dark", "sad", "death" and "tragedy" (or "sex", "porn" etc.) can be understood as a warning for those who do not with to read such kind of stories. Especially when it comes to a series that usually does not contain such things (or when it does then only in small dosages). Unfortunately such a warning cannot be made without being some sort of spoiler at the same time.

One thing that usually cannot be foreseen by the author is the impact his/her story has on the indiviual reader. So, as you can surely guess, the same story can leave a totally different impression on two people. For example: I am a huge fan of Thorax. Even more than of many of the Mane 6. Why? Is he such a good character concept? No. Is he better written than other characters? No. It's because I can relate to him, and this has at least as much to do with me as with the character itself. And because of this the story automatically becomes more immersive for me. I think many MLP fans have this one perticular character in the show that they can relate to in that way. Of course which character this is depends on the reader. In my case it's Thorax.
When I found "Grief is the Price We Pay" I was searching for stories about changelings and the characer Thorax. Of course in this case I expected a sad story. I mean, what else do I have to expect when there i "Grief" in the title? I expected (because of the description and the tags/categories that where used back then) a story about prejudice and a friendship that is challenged, and was curious about all this mess that unfolds in the story can be fixed (this is MLP after all). What I did not expect is that this perticular character, that was the reason why I began to read the story, would die and the mess isn't fixed but ended in a worst-case-szenario. Okay, maybe I have to explain the term "worst-case-szenario": Of course as a whole the story could have ended much worse. Thorax died at least not complete senselessly but as a hero, and he still freed the changelings from Chrysalis. The thing is that the whole "let's save Equestria" part of the story was (for obvious reasons) not part of the description and thus cannot be expected by the reader. And when I take the original premise of the description and compare it with the things that have been archieved in the end, then it almost couldn't have ended worse. Btw. that's the reason I once suggested the "Tradegy" tag for the story. It took only the description (and thus the most likely expectations of the reader based on the description) into account and not the whole story.

Okay, maybe I deviated a bit from the topic here. What I wanted to say is: The story is really well written, but it surprised me in the end... unfortunately not in a good way. This doesn't mean you made anything wrong with the story itself (you didn't). But I wished that I would have been warned somehow that the story might take such a complete different turn, because as it is right now the story has left a certain "no hope" impression on me and makes me feeling depressed (ironically that shows that the story is well written, otherwise there wouldn't be this "immersion effect" and I wouldn't care). I still cannot see the warnings that are supposely hidden in the story ifself, so some "tag" would have been nice. Well, of course now it's too late.

Okay, now I see that I am complaining by trying to explain why I am complaining by trying to explain why certain tags for stories are useful even if the may contain some spoilers. I should stop here. ^^°

[Dark Monarch Sombra]

And they're just letting him go?

Honestly, I'm half-hoping that Twilight casts a memory spell on Spike to make him forget any of this ever happened. I'm sorry, but I don't like shattered friendships....

[PonyDragon]

“To him, all they did was get more…colorful…which, with them being changelings, doesn’t necessarily signify much when you think about it.”

He is not wrong.
The moment you judge changelings by their appearance you have already lost. (Assuming they are evil.)

A gruff looking one with a uniquely red crest upon his neck that Spike passed fairly close to was even trying (and not quite succeeding) to hide a tear he was shedding.

Pharynx, right?

You made quite a long chapter. Will take some time to read the entire thing.
(This "Continue Reading" function on the main page is nice.)

[Dark Monarch Sombra]

8653825
"Beginning of an opening to forgiveness"? That would take too long.

I still maintain that Celestia and/or Luna should just go "Screw it" and cast a massive memory spell that makes everyone forget this ever happened, just so things can go back to the way they were.....

And some of the folks here are right: Thorax got what he wanted, but Spike got beaten down for his efforts. How is THAT fair?

Edit: Huh, my opinion's not popular. What a surprise. XD

[harts fire]

a vary hart warming chapter all the pony's are going back home and spike is going back to his real home now Vanhoover but will he be able to stay in there old room?
so many memory's ever ware?
i am hoping spike gets his license to fly the Vergilius some how i feel this would be a vary good home for him for the time being and give him the freedom he needs to stretch his wings and grow.

[Draconicus the Reaper]

I wonder how Flyleaf is going to take Thorax's passing?

[Scyphi]

8668620
You know, I know of those authors, but I haven't ever really read much of their works? It's nothing personal, it's just of the many stories I see of theirs, few ever jump out to me as interesting enough to read.

But I have read (and faved) a couple, so I'll see if I can sit down someday soon and do a bit of compare and contrast between their works and "Grief," and see if I can find that "missing link" as it were.

8668644
Well, I suppose I can't stop you from being in denial as much as you want...but it is true--I had that death planned from before I posted the first chapter of this story on the site, and I've spent the whole time you guys have been reading it wondering what the reaction was going to be to it when it finally happened.

Looking back, it actually wasn't nearly as bad as I feared. Sure, it wasn't all sunshine and daisies with all the readers such as yourself, but it could've been a lot worse, admittedly.

8668795
Well, you managed to convince me to give in and add that sad tag finally, so...there's that victory for ya. I admit that I do so begrudgingly still, as I still think that sad tag brings with it connotations that I'm not sure fully fit "Grief"...but you have forced me to concede to the point that, going off just the tags and the story summary like any starting reader would, it doesn't convey well what the story has all in store, and it's unfair of me to ignore that, so I decided the sad tag would be the best compromise to convey that missing sense without spoiling more than I'd prefer (because there's more than one sad moment in the story it could refer to, obviously).

Of course, to add that tag, I had to ditch the adventure tag again no sooner than I had added it, because FIMfiction only allows three genre (blue) tags at a time and it put it over the limit. Ah, adventure tag...you were gone before your time...but admittedly, the sad tag might just be more fitting anyway, so maybe it's for the best.

As for tags in general, I totally get why all of the tags are there and available to use in the first place, and I can totally see instances where they might be needed for certain stories...it's just I stand that there are those that I don't think "Grief" in particular needs, or would be hindering to "Grief". After all, the more tags you add, the more you narrow your audience and make it more of a niche one...which actually isn't the best of practices, which you'd know, because this came up because you were helpfully trying to suggest ways to get "Grief" more visible to readers.

Plus, whenever tags come up, I always think about things like today's movies or TV shows or even books you buy at the store or internet, and how their "tags," IF they have any at all, are all pretty general. I mean, look at the rating tags for a movie you might see today at a theater. With exception to any sex scenes or any scene that is excessively violent above the rest, any of the sort of tagging you'd see for it is fairly general--descriptive of the film on a whole and not necessarily any one scene. It coveys a sense that such instances that the tag conveys are scattered all throughout and not all isolated in just one spot. Beyond that, most media is more grouped simply by genre more than anything else...and that has worked for mankind for years just fine. So, why fix something that's not broke, right?

This is why I'm so against adding tags like tragedy or death, because for "Grief" they're focusing on just one scene--worse, on one scene at the very END of the story--and forewarn the reader to be on the lookout for it. Which, you're right, is what they're supposed to do, but they don't account for the whole story and don't feel like they represent it evenly. And with the death tag especially, when the reader doesn't immediately find that death right away in the story, they're going to realize it'll be at the end, and most likely involve a key character, and then start putting two with two, and then it risks becoming a spoiler.

In short, I agree tags are useful and it's not that I'm against them or anything. I just recognize that they just can't be added willy-nilly--some thought and consideration is required, and from that, I add the tags I feel best describe the whole story, to give the reader the best idea of what it is, without giving away precisely how it ends. Because if you already know how it ends, why read it, right?

8669224
Yes, you've made it very clear by now that you feel that way.

8669362
Good thing I worked to keep it under 20,000 words and from it being even longer, eh?

My one issue with the "continue reading" feature is that it seems to keep activating for stories I don't want or need it to do so on. It's especially frustrating when it randomly activates halfway through a chapter I actually did read all the way to completion. Not sure if it's something I'm doing or just a glitch, but...

Pharynx, right?

Yes.

8669695

I still maintain that Celestia and/or Luna should just go "Screw it" and cast a massive memory spell that makes everyone forget this ever happened, just so things can go back to the way they were.....

But then they wouldn't have learned anything from the experience, so what's to keep it from happening all over again? After all, as they say, those who fail to learn from history are doomed to repeat it. Which, having studied history some myself and looking around at some of today's world events, I can safely say this is a real thing that actually happens.

8669716
I'm sure Spike will adjust and make use of the Vergilius again sometime in the future, but that will probably be part of a story for another day.

8669763
In her typical Fly Leaf manner: setting aside herself in favor of the needs of the other.

[fleur party]

8670488
If you were ever to compare and contrast with Imploding Colons famous Austraeoh series, one theme I definitely think is worth looking into is how he portrays residual regret and sorrow, but best of all, one of the best things he manages to portray is the questioning of one's worth or place in the world. Raising and answering questions as to, "Why am I here doing this, am I important?" Or even asking oneself "Is taking this path/choice the right decision?" I feel like Spike finding his new path is going to be a very important theme as well in his future, leading to the end and likely even past the end of this story. Breaking off of that hearty topic though, I understand this story is not quite at a send off yet, buutt... I just have to sit and appreciate the attention put into this story and the commitment of the author. I could not ask for a better portrayal of grief, or a better adventure to lead up to it. As all in a way I wish this story would never end, or have countless huge sequels, but in the end something like that may just take the meaning out of it. Being someone who has had their fair share of death and grief, I have to say that I have never cried to any movie, game, or book. But this made my eyes moist more then once so it is definitely well done.(Won't see me crying though! Manly man! ) Some scenes I could sympathise with because a lot of the dilemma is very real, and something many have personally experienced. Along with the allusions of death across the story, being just enough to keep the thought creeping but repressed. When it happened it shocked me. No cheap fake outs, no resurrection, no going down in a hail of glory, just simple, and all the more sad. Thank you for writing this Scyphi, and I look forward to future stories once this is finished. (But dear god man take a break for once, how are your fingers not broken in half? )

[Peppermint Frost]

8670923

(But dear god man take a break for once, how are your fingers not broken in half? )

What I've been asking myself throughout the story

[Peace Poet]

This story gets a triple A+. Great job on making it, man. I can't wait to see how much further you go with it. Again, great job! And from the looks of it, The friendship between Spike and Twilight for a while, not knowing how long, is gone. And leaving Pinkie Pie, Fluttershy, Applejack, Rainbow Dash, Rarity, Starlight Glimmer, and Trixie terribly heartbroken. I know they'll still be friends with Twilight, but it's devastating that they pretty much lost Spike as their good friend after what happened. Other than that, keep it up.

[PonyDragon]

What actually surprised Spike the most was what Twilight said next, after yet another long pause—“Thank you for keeping Spike safe.”

The feels!

“Patient?” Spike repeated, confused. “What patient?”
“You’ve met before,” the changeling explained. “His name is Julius.”

I've already been wondering about him.

He suddenly became self-conscious, especially the fact that he was no longer wearing the navy sweater vest he had become so accustomed to wearing. Some courteous changelings had recovered it from where he had last left it and attempted to clean out the bloodstains, but unfortunately it was simply too stained, and the attempts to clean it made it slightly shrink anyway, so while Spike thanked them for their efforts, he told them it was a lost cause and to go ahead and just dispose of the sweater.

They will probably put it into an museum or something, right?

Found something you should check:

Rainbow Dash raised one wing, bent so that the longest of her primary feathers touched the tip of forehead

His or hers?
Considering the context probably hers, but if reading this sentence alone (something no one would do) both answers are possible

[Scyphi]

8671639
Fixed.

[Alicorn Prince]

8668620
You're entitled to your own opinions, but I personally wouldn't want anything about this story changed. I feel the characters are rather relatable and the story in general comes off at a good pace. I also feel that Scyphi's style allows for a wider audience than most other writers as the story is explained in a subtly repetitive way (kind of like studying for a test, but fun), which is good since not all readers are on the same level. And the fact that the Mane Six aren't used often is good too, Equestria is a big place and there are more ponies out there than just those six constantly hogging the attention (I mean come on, why does Celestia let a bunch of civies guard her country instead of the officials any ways. And a princess with a friendship counsel that doesn't even really help the princess unless in a state of emergency is screwed up too). But back to the main topic, everyones has their own opinions and no, you can't please everyone. Therefore keep doing what you're doing Scyphi! I admit I wouldn't have killed off Thorax, but I also wouldn't change it, knowing what I know now.

[YourFellowPony]

Great work. I especially love your long chapters and am thoroughly amazed at the amount of work you put into your writing. Simply marvellous!

[Keystroke Cascade]

Cm'on! Fly Leaf, Fly Leaf, Fly Leaf!
Best character in the story, yaaaay!
Pls be in the next chapteeer!

[PonyDragon]

“At least let one of us accompany you to Vanhoover, Spike,” Rarity added, agreeing.

I expected that. But I rather expected Rainbow, not Starlight. Because Loyalty and stuff.
But your choise makes more sense, the more I think about it.

Speaking of Vanhoover...guess who'll be popping back up next chapter?

That's obvious!
The guy who teached Thorax about parkour (who knew about Thorax' secret) and the zebra from the bookstore who couldn't speak equestrian (and is responsible for revealing Thorax is multilingual)!
Am I right?

[PonyDragon]

8670488

Of course, to add that tag, I had to ditch the adventure tag again no sooner than I had added it, because FIMfiction only allows three genre (blue) tags at a time and it put it over the limit. Ah, adventure tag...you were gone before your time...but admittedly, the sad tag might just be more fitting anyway, so maybe it's for the best.

I don't think this would be the best choice.
In my opinion the adventure-tag is important/fitting there. I would rather remove the drama-tag instead, especially, since sad is implied by drama.

[Scyphi]

8673498
And see, that was my argument too, that the drama tag, by definition, technically ought to include the sad tag as well making it not strictly necessary, which is why I, for the longest time, chose to use only it to convey this. But...too many failed to recognize that themselves, see drama and sad as two separate things, and in light of that, I had to relent that the drama tag alone was insufficient for the views of the average reader.

Like I said, I'm resorting to the sad tag begrudgingly, and a part of me would still rather do without it entirely, but I have to concede that it's just better to resort to it for the benefit of the readers on a whole.

Likewise, I dare not remove the drama tag on the same grounds of too many seeing it separate from the sad tag, and without the drama tag, I fear it would only cause the same sort of confusion over what sort of story "Grief" is that led me to adding the sad tag in the first place.

Besides, I admit...I was a bit half and half on the adventure tag. There's certainly an adventure element at times in "Grief," but it's not consistent and not always a central focus--it's another tag that "Grief" really doesn't have to have to give the reader an idea of what sort of story it is.

8673472
I think you mean the griffon who helped train Thorax how to operate an airship (Spike was the one who learned parkour), unless you mean Ragg, the gangmember which Thorax would perform a supposed trick that looked like parkour to him, but as it happens, it doesn't really matter either way because yes, all three (including the mentioned zebra) will make reappearances, but not until a later chapter still, not next chapter.

As for why Starlight and not Rainbow...Starlight already had a good excuse at the ready to be going in the same direction as Spike, whereas Rainbow didn't...and frankly probably wouldn't have bothered to come up with one anyway.