That was...both oddly adorable and kinda sexy once it got past the stupid jocks. Also, I love that Twilight got mad at the bullies rather than Micro Chips. I like how you write EqG Twilight.
There was so much I enjoyed about this premise and execution, but as I seem to find so often with your work, left me feeling unfulfilled and lacking.
You just sort of hand-wave the whole Twilight cheating on Timber thing with one sentence, when that really is a much bigger issue than it really should be here. Not that I'm against it mind you, I actually really enjoy the premise of a girlfriend being seduced and cheating on her boyfriend without realizing it (part of what I really liked about this execution) but it's barely an after thought and left me wondering why it was even mentioned if it didn't matter.
Then as always, it gets to the sexy part and its just so short and then it ends, leaving me feeling hollow for starting to get into it. And I'm always incredibly worried about a continuation if it did happen because so far, every time that has happened its gone so off-the-rails from what I expected I no longer enjoy it or want to continue reading it (Oversharing being the biggest offender of this to me).
And I know this is my first time commenting but its just a built up frustration of wanting to like your stuff so much more because your ideas interest me, and the execution is almost there, but never quite gets there. I just, when you had an idea I was so into but then you waffled on the parts that had me the most invested, I just finally needed to say something. Like, you had me interested in seeing Micro Chips in a sex scene, something I'd have thought that was impossible, and then it goes nowhere. So yeah, just, my 2 cents I needed to get out.
"Not really," Twilight said. "I mean, that's pretty normal. I remember walking in on my brother doing that a couple of times." She rolled her eyes and giggled.
This presents interesting material for discussion.
On the one hand, this could definitely be construed as Twilight cheating on her boyfriend, as even though they aren't 'steady,' she likely hasn't brought up the topic of having an open relationship. The fact that she's reciprocating a technologically-assisted sexual interaction, though, implies a certain amount of dishonesty to the relationship.
On the other hand, though, I'd be hard pressed to name someone in a relationship who considers looking at porn to be infidelity, though that's not to say they don't exist. Following that train of thought, I've had personal interaction with a person who was a professional adult entertainer (no physical interaction with clients, but performed for them). The rationale being that as much as the relationship involves both of them, Twilight should be free to do with her own body as she pleases and this is less infidelity and more of a mutual interaction using televised pornography. Given that cam girls have used similar setups, I'm less inclined to get up in arms about this.
Still, Twilight should probably discuss the matter with her boyfriend to clear up any possible misunderstandings in a timely manner.
And thus the supervillain known as The Penetrator was born!
Surprisingly, for all the things the Penetrator is believed to have done, and all the girls he has drawn into his dark lair, there's been surprisingly few irate citizens. Mostly parents and boyfriends, actually...
"If you look at the seven of us, it's kind of weird that we're such good friends, right? Because we're all so different."
I say yes to that, Twilight’s a Nerd, Rarity is a Fashionista, Pinkie’s a Party Animal, Rainbow is a Sport Jockey, Applejack is a Farmgirl, FlutterSHY is incredibly shy, and Sunset’s a former bully, different indeed,
"And this whole idea that being popular means you have to look down on people who aren't as popular is just ridiculous!"
yea, all that Social Hierarchy in Schools are just complete bollocks tbh,
hahaha Timber got cucked by Micro Chips and a drone! Oh that's rich. But really what's creepier? A kid grabbing some pics, or a possible adult camp counselor hooking up with a high school junior? I'm not saying what Chips did was okay, it's not. But he's not taking advantage of Sci like Timber did with his position as a counselor. At least we know for sure Chips is the same age as Sci.
9528076 Let's see. On the one hand, a counselour who the writer said is about one and a half years older than the girl he hangs out with, or a guy her age who takes upskirts pics to jack off to.
a guy her age who takes upskirts pics to jack off to.
I'd be much more concerned with the bot at the end. These drones are clearly autonomous, and while the scene was consensual, the default behavior of that bot would be sexual assault.
9532883 I dunno, it seemed like Twi was set up for and expecting the sex bot. The checking the phone because of the buzzing would be a normal reaction from her, considering how likely any of the other girls would send her a message for any random reason is.
I'm fairly certain both Twilight and Micro Chips have this as a mutually beneficial situation, and MC has programmed these bots specifically for Twi, and she's both aware of, and giving consent to, their specific programmed behavior with her.
9532883 Personally, I'm far more concerned about people who take fanfiction about candy-colored horse people this seriously that they even feel like this merits a discussion.
Micro Chip comes out sounding creepy: Masturbating to a picture of a classmate in the yearbook, plenty of high school/college kids have done that. Stalking said attractive classmate, to get more pictures to masturbate too: That's crossing a line!
But the jocks come out worse: If they were just trying to expose stalker, or protect Twilight, it'd be one thing. But they're not. That's just their fig-leaf excuse to bully someone. Puss, what are they doing spying on someone while he masturbates? And why are they so interested in Twilight's sex life?
If I were Twilight's big brother: I think I'd rather she hang around Micro Chip, then with those jocks.
Edit: And that was before I read the end of the story, with the sex-drone and the video-call. Eh. Guess I'd still rather have Twilight hang around Micro Chip, if I had to chose beteen him and the jocks.
Edit 2: Well, I suppose the sex-drone didn't force Twilight. It de-clocked to announce itself. Twilight knew what it was (I think). And she could have stopped it whenever she wanted.
And Micro Chip did demonstrate intelligence. If I'm Twilight's big brother, that's something I'd want in my sister's future husband: Intelligence. Now, Micro Chip still needs to do quite a bit of growing up.
But if he's able to grow up, and if he has a good heart: He might just make a good husband. Maybe I'd take him under my wing, and help make a man out of him.
Oh thats adorable
Well then...
Um..
Ya I got nothing. Lil sexy, lil creepy, whole lot of stop picking on smart people cause they can make some scary crap.
Well, damn. Those two certainly are technophiles, that's for sure.
Hans? Get ze anti-pervert flakpanzer.
media2.giphy.com/media/fcwb6f8hMuvp6/200w.gif?cid=3640f6095c7f49ce506c35742e06f072
Nothing about this is okay
9524153
Arguably ... and a bit weird.
It's adorable when kinks kollide.
There was a lot of questionable stuff in this chapter. Main thing is, they addressed it as mature people and came to an agreement.
That's all I'm gonna say. That and I kinda agree with Micro Chips on being considered lower than others.
That was...both oddly adorable and kinda sexy once it got past the stupid jocks. Also, I love that Twilight got mad at the bullies rather than Micro Chips.
I like how you write EqG Twilight.
There was so much I enjoyed about this premise and execution, but as I seem to find so often with your work, left me feeling unfulfilled and lacking.
You just sort of hand-wave the whole Twilight cheating on Timber thing with one sentence, when that really is a much bigger issue than it really should be here. Not that I'm against it mind you, I actually really enjoy the premise of a girlfriend being seduced and cheating on her boyfriend without realizing it (part of what I really liked about this execution) but it's barely an after thought and left me wondering why it was even mentioned if it didn't matter.
Then as always, it gets to the sexy part and its just so short and then it ends, leaving me feeling hollow for starting to get into it. And I'm always incredibly worried about a continuation if it did happen because so far, every time that has happened its gone so off-the-rails from what I expected I no longer enjoy it or want to continue reading it (Oversharing being the biggest offender of this to me).
And I know this is my first time commenting but its just a built up frustration of wanting to like your stuff so much more because your ideas interest me, and the execution is almost there, but never quite gets there. I just, when you had an idea I was so into but then you waffled on the parts that had me the most invested, I just finally needed to say something. Like, you had me interested in seeing Micro Chips in a sex scene, something I'd have thought that was impossible, and then it goes nowhere. So yeah, just, my 2 cents I needed to get out.
Sooooo... how many robotic sex toy design are talking about here? And would the other girls be interested upon discovery? (That sounds like a sequel)
Not 100% sure how to define what i think so I'll leave it as your stories are always interesting. I look forward to reading your next work.
This presents interesting material for discussion.
On the one hand, this could definitely be construed as Twilight cheating on her boyfriend, as even though they aren't 'steady,' she likely hasn't brought up the topic of having an open relationship. The fact that she's reciprocating a technologically-assisted sexual interaction, though, implies a certain amount of dishonesty to the relationship.
On the other hand, though, I'd be hard pressed to name someone in a relationship who considers looking at porn to be infidelity, though that's not to say they don't exist. Following that train of thought, I've had personal interaction with a person who was a professional adult entertainer (no physical interaction with clients, but performed for them). The rationale being that as much as the relationship involves both of them, Twilight should be free to do with her own body as she pleases and this is less infidelity and more of a mutual interaction using televised pornography. Given that cam girls have used similar setups, I'm less inclined to get up in arms about this.
Still, Twilight should probably discuss the matter with her boyfriend to clear up any possible misunderstandings in a timely manner.
9524240
I don't think it's meant to be.
And thus the supervillain known as The Penetrator was born!
Surprisingly, for all the things the Penetrator is believed to have done, and all the girls he has drawn into his dark lair, there's been surprisingly few irate citizens. Mostly parents and boyfriends, actually...
I say yes to that, Twilight’s a Nerd, Rarity is a Fashionista, Pinkie’s a Party Animal, Rainbow is a Sport Jockey, Applejack is a Farmgirl, FlutterSHY is incredibly shy, and Sunset’s a former bully, different indeed,
yea, all that Social Hierarchy in Schools are just complete bollocks tbh,
hahaha Timber got cucked by Micro Chips and a drone! Oh that's rich. But really what's creepier? A kid grabbing some pics, or a possible adult camp counselor hooking up with a high school junior? I'm not saying what Chips did was okay, it's not. But he's not taking advantage of Sci like Timber did with his position as a counselor. At least we know for sure Chips is the same age as Sci.
9528076
Let's see. On the one hand, a counselour who the writer said is about one and a half years older than the girl he hangs out with, or a guy her age who takes upskirts pics to jack off to.
Yeah, no contest there.
9530382
She does, in Forgotten Friendship, she's shown with them.
9529191
I'd be much more concerned with the bot at the end. These drones are clearly autonomous, and while the scene was consensual, the default behavior of that bot would be sexual assault.
9532883
I dunno, it seemed like Twi was set up for and expecting the sex bot. The checking the phone because of the buzzing would be a normal reaction from her, considering how likely any of the other girls would send her a message for any random reason is.
I'm fairly certain both Twilight and Micro Chips have this as a mutually beneficial situation, and MC has programmed these bots specifically for Twi, and she's both aware of, and giving consent to, their specific programmed behavior with her.
9532883
Personally, I'm far more concerned about people who take fanfiction about candy-colored horse people this seriously that they even feel like this merits a discussion.
But, y'know, whatever.
Timber, you lost her. I'm sorry, but geeks need other geeks in order to be happy.
Micro Chip comes out sounding creepy: Masturbating to a picture of a classmate in the yearbook, plenty of high school/college kids have done that. Stalking said attractive classmate, to get more pictures to masturbate too: That's crossing a line!
But the jocks come out worse: If they were just trying to expose stalker, or protect Twilight, it'd be one thing. But they're not. That's just their fig-leaf excuse to bully someone. Puss, what are they doing spying on someone while he masturbates? And why are they so interested in Twilight's sex life?
If I were Twilight's big brother: I think I'd rather she hang around Micro Chip, then with those jocks.
Edit: And that was before I read the end of the story, with the sex-drone and the video-call. Eh. Guess I'd still rather have Twilight hang around Micro Chip, if I had to chose beteen him and the jocks.
Edit 2: Well, I suppose the sex-drone didn't force Twilight. It de-clocked to announce itself. Twilight knew what it was (I think). And she could have stopped it whenever she wanted.
And Micro Chip did demonstrate intelligence. If I'm Twilight's big brother, that's something I'd want in my sister's future husband: Intelligence. Now, Micro Chip still needs to do quite a bit of growing up.
But if he's able to grow up, and if he has a good heart: He might just make a good husband. Maybe I'd take him under my wing, and help make a man out of him.
9524374
So many problems could be fixed, if people would just talk about them like sane reasonable adults!