• Published 27th Jun 2012
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Living in Equestria - Blazewing



A young man finds himself in a world beyond his wildest imaginations...

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A Party to Remember

It would take too long describing that happened during that party; it was one of the best I’d ever attended, and I wasn't usually a party person.

Pinkie had started a game of Pin the Tail on the Pony, which I, of course, was roped into taking part in. When I took my blindfold off to see where I’d pinned it, I cringed a little, as I had put it right at the pony’s snout, so that it looked like it had one half of a flamboyantly huge mustache (and anything with half a mustache must have been pretty hard on the eyes). This got a big laugh out of the ponies watching, and even I couldn’t help joining in.

Next, I managed to fall into talk with Bon Bon and Lyra again. The latter was no less excitable than earlier, and only made me smile at her antics when I saw that she was emulating the way a human would sit in a chair, rather than how a pony normally would. She went into a kind of relaxed slouch that reminded me of a man sitting in an armchair watching football on a lazy Sunday, complete with a little rounded belly. It was amusing to me, but Bon Bon looked exasperated; apparently, she did this a lot, just to push her buttons.

As her friend was keeping an eye on her, Lyra didn’t dare try to plug me with questions about humans, but instead told me about the two of them. She was a lyre player, and a talented one at that, as ponies would tell you, originally from Canterlot, and had known Twilight before, but back when she had been more interested in her books than anything else. While they didn’t connect very often, they still stayed on relatively good terms, and she had even been made a bridesmaid at her brother’s wedding, but that was a long story, so she spared me of it. She also knew another fellow musician, a cellist named Octavia, who was part of a symphony orchestra. What surprised me was that Lyra told me she was on close terms with Vinyl Scratch, the DJ. I couldn’t even begin to comprehend how a cellist and a DJ could possibly be friends, but I figured it was just like how Rarity and Pinkie were friends.

As for Bon Bon, she was a confectioner, a maker of sweets down at the appropriately titled ‘Bon Bon’s Bonbons’. She even brought some of her best treats as refreshments. Gladly, I tried a sample, and was absolutely blown away by the chocolate decadence packed into such a tiny little treat. Lyra told me she got ‘free samples’ all the time, since she also assisted Bon Bon as a taste-tester at her shop. The candy-maker joked that Lyra’s love for her confections certainly showed on her, giving her a poke in her belly to emphasize. I couldn’t help but smile at the friendship of these two. They seemed so different, yet went together as if they had been meant to all along, just like Pinkie’s friends.

While Rainbow Dash was impressing some ponies in a corner with mid-air juggling, Fluttershy watching with an expression of mixed apprehension and excitement, something else was going on in the center of the room. Heaping buckets of apples had been brought in, no doubt part of the refreshments, and Pinkie seemed to have bet Applejack she couldn’t eat more than she could, let alone finish what was in front of her. The steely glare that appeared in the farm mare’s eyes told me that she took that as a bona fide challenge, and was ready to prove Pinkie wrong. Something like this could only end badly, but unfortunately, I was unable to intervene, as the contest began.

Both ponies ate with stupefying vigor, shoveling apples into their mouths and down their throats. Rarity, who was watching, looked disgusted at the display, but Rainbow, who had stopped juggling to observe the contest, was whooping and hollering at the top of her lungs, though who she was rooting for I didn’t know. In the space of mere minutes, both buckets were emptied, so it seemed the contest was a tie, but the real victory seemed to be in the conditions of the competitors. Pinkie was looking full and satisfied, patting her rounded middle, while Applejack was looking queasy, one hoof to her overloaded stomach. In the midst of the cheering, I came over and told her that she at least managed to eat all of them, but that seemed to only make her cheeks greener, so I backed off.

***

As all good things eventually come to an end, the party finally seemed to wind down around midnight. Pinkie appeared to recognize it as well, as she signaled to Vinyl Scratch. The unicorn nodded and grabbed the nearby microphone with her magic, speaking into it in a sort of “too cool for rules” voice.

“All right, everypony! Just got a word from the Pinkster! She hereby names this bash a complete success!”

Many cheers came from the ponies still standing. Others were just plain pooped.

“You’ve all been great, and I wanna give a shout-out to our guest of honor, human Dave! Great party, dude! This is DJ P0N-3, signing out!”

With one deep, reverberating note, the turntable switched off, and I joined in the applause that followed. I strolled over to the DJ as she started packing up.

“That was some pretty impressive record-work, Miss Scratch,” I said.

She looked up.

“Whoa, man, Miss Scratch is what the teachers called me when they wanted to tell me off. Just Vinyl’s ok.”

“Right, sorry. Vinyl. Lord knows one of the things that keeps a party afloat is a DJ with an ear for a good beat.”

“Ah, thanks, man,” she said, giving me a friendly punch on the arm.

It seemed like the tomboys were always ready to hit me to show affection, but I guess that was just their way. I left her to continue packing up, and when I turned back, she actually lifted her shades, showing me vibrant red-purple eyes, and winked. I gave her a small smile in return and headed for the door, where the guests were wishing each other good night and heading off, but not before wishing me a good night in turn. Lyra had fallen asleep and was snoring noisily, so Bon Bon had to carry her off on her back. It didn’t look like a very comfortable burden, and I offered to help, but Bon Bon shook her head.

“It’s all right, really. It’s not the first time it’s happened, trust me.”

She gave a small giggle and staggered out the door with her roommate draped across her back. I guess it was true what they say: those who party the hardest also crash the hardest.

The last to leave were Pinkie’s other friends. They seemed to want to help clean up, but the pink pony insisted that they didn’t have to stick around.

“Really, Pinkie, it's the least we can do,” said Rarity, gingerly holding her hoof up to avoid stepping on a discarded banana peel, regarding it as if it were a poisonous spider.

“Well, I mean, it'd be easier if I had a reverse party cannon for after parties,” said Pinkie, a twinkle of inspiration in her eye.

“Trust me, Pinkie, I don’t think the world is ready for that yet,” Rainbow said.

Rarity was using her magic to levitate trash and throw it into the nearby garbage cans. It was amazing how much she could pick up, which was lucky, considering how squeamish she was around the clutter and mess. Rainbow Dash was at work clearing up by swooping around the tables at remarkable speed, going in and out from the room in multiple trips as she cleared away. Fluttershy looked as if she were about to fall asleep on her hooves, and Applejack was keeping her steady, though she still looked sick and a little bloated. I decided to come over and talk.

“Hey, Applejack?”

“Hmm?” She looked up.

“Are you gonna be all right? I mean, you look kind of…ill.”

“Aw, shucks, don’t you fret none, sugarcube,” she said, with a wave of her hoof. “Ah’m no stranger to eatin’ contests. When Big Mac and Ah were younger, we used to turn meal times into an all-out war.”

I couldn’t help but chuckle at the thought.

“I’ll bet Granny Smith didn’t like that one bit.”

“Actually, she was the judge,” said Applejack, grinning when she saw the surprise that answer brought me, “and a downright hard one to please. She’d inspect our plates if it looked like we tied, and Ah swear, she’d always side with Big Mac.”

She gave a huffy snort, but still smiled all the same.

“Still, do you need any help getting home?” I asked.

“Nah, Ah’ll be all right. A little jog home might do me some good. Thanks for asking, though. It’s awful sweet of ya.”

“Aw, well,” I said, bashfully.

At that moment, Fluttershy stirred.

“Huh? Whuh? Oh, dear, did I fall asleep? I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be, Fluttershy,” I said. “Party’s over, and we’re all a little tired.”

“Oh, that’s good to hear,” she said, yawning. “I’d better be getting home, then.”

“Ah’ll walk with ya, Fluttershy,” said Applejack. “No sense in letting ya head home alone if ya can’t even stay awake on your hooves.”

“Oh, Applejack, I couldn’t possibly-”

“Hush,” said Applejack, gently, but firmly. “Y’all just get on my back. No arguments,” she added, as she saw the pegasus’s mouth about to open to protest, “Ah’m used to carryin’ heavy loads on my back, and yer practically light as a feather.”

“…All right.”

Fluttershy clambered, a little awkwardly, onto the sturdy Earth pony’s back.

“Are you sure I’m not too much of a load, Applejack?” she asked, timidly.

“Huh?" asked Applejack, giving quite a show of surprise. "Oh, did you already climb on, Fluttershy? Ah didn’t notice.”

She winked, and that brought a smile to the pegasus’s face.

“Good night, you two,” I said, with a chuckle.

“‘Night.”

“Good night, Dave.”

With that, Applejack walked off with her sleepy friend on her back, wishing the others good night as she went.

“Well, I think that should do it,” said Rarity, the glow fading from her horn.

I couldn’t help but stare. It seemed as if I’d only taken my eyes off for a few moments, but she and Rainbow had done wonders. In the space of my conversation with Applejack, the room was tidy once again, all traces of the party whisked away.

“Wow,” I breathed. “I never thought you two would make quite the clean-team.”

“Well, all it takes is an eye for detail and a bit of elbow grease,” said Rarity.

“Yeah! Rarity’s got the eye, and I’ve got the…”

Rainbow stopped mid-sentence, and her tone immediately changed to one of indignation.

“Hey, did you just call me greasy?”

“Certainly not, Rainbow!” said Rarity, sounding scandalized. “Perish the thought!"

"Good," said Rainbow, grinning cockily. "I may be a well-oiled machine when I'm at the top of my game, but I'm no grease-monkey."

"I never implied anything of the sort, Rainbow Dash," said Rarity. "Although, I have to wonder how much 'grease' goes into making your mane stay the way it is.”

“Oh, you can't get locks like this with any gel,” said Rainbow, giving her unruly mane a toss. “All-natural, 100% Dash. I’ve got my own personal charm.”

There was no denying that. For all her bragging and her rough-and-tumble attitude, the tomboyish haircut did suit her rather nicely, at least to me. Rarity rolled her eyes with a light smile.

“Well, then, dears, I should be off home. I just hope Sweetie Belle’s asleep by now.”

“Your sister?" I asked. "What’s she been up to all night?”

“She did insist on coming, but it’s a school night, and I wouldn’t hear of it, so I sent her to bed early. You just have to be firm sometimes.”

“Yeah, I guess. Well, good night, Rarity.”

“Good night, darling. I’ll see you later.”

She trotted out the door.

“See her about what?” asked Rainbow, raising an intrigued eyebrow.

“Keep your suspicions to yourself, Miss Dash,” I said, flatly. “It's about those new clothes Rarity mentioned earlier, since these are the only ones I have.”

Rainbow stared, then burst out laughing.

“What? I mean it!” I said, indignantly.

“No, not that!’ she managed to gasp out. “It’s just, the way you said that was so serious, it was funny! Especially with that face!”

“What face?” I asked, arching an eyebrow.

Rainbow snorted, trying to choke back another laugh. I couldn’t help but feel a bit nettled. Back home, I was often told that I ought to have a better sense of humor. My sense of humor was just fine; I just didn’t like being laughed at.

“Aw, come on, don’t get mad,” said Rainbow, calming down enough to speak. “I’m just teasing you.”

“I know, I know,” I said, with a sigh. “I just like being taken seriously too, you know.”

“You just gotta loosen up. That’s what the party was for.”

She cuffed my shoulder, though not as roughly as earlier.

“Sleep tight, dude. Night, Pinks!”

She swooped off through the door.

“Night, Dashie!” called Pinkie, before turning to me. “Well, Davie, I think it’s time we headed for bed, too.”

“I agree, Pinkie," I said, yawning. "I’m exhausted.”

Slowly, the two of us made our way upstairs, Pinkie’s full stomach wobbling slightly with each step. She winced every so often, but was still smiling. I think she may have overdid it with the apples.

Gummy was already curled up in his little basket when we arrived, gazing at me with his purple eyes. I hadn’t had the opportunity of properly addressing myself to him before, so I decided to walk over and kneel by him. His gaze followed me as he rolled over onto his back. In a way, he was kind of cute.

“Hey, little fella,” I said.

I reached out a tentative hand. Luckily, he didn’t snap at me (even if there was no danger in it), and allowed me to scratch under his chin. His eyes closed in bliss as I scratched, and one of his little back feet kicked. I couldn’t help laughing; the mini-gator was like a puppy, if puppies were smooth, scaly, and bug-eyed. In fact, he acted a lot like a dog I had back home.

“You like that, don’t you?” I cooed. “Who’s a good boy? You are, yes you are.”

“Aww, I think he likes you!” said Pinkie, who was watching.

“Heh, yeah. I’m not trying this on a full-grown gator anytime soon, though.”

Pinkie giggled, but it was interrupted by a groan as she clutched her belly.

“Owie. I think I’m still too full from the party.”

“Does it happen often?” I asked, a bit concerned.

“Sometimes. I think it’s just when I get carried away, like at really super-duper fun parties.”

“Like tonight’s?” I asked.

“Like tonight’s,” she said, with a smile.

I smiled back, then looked back at Gummy. He had turned over onto his side and was breathing quietly, sound asleep. I pulled the little blanket at the end over him.

“Sweet dreams, Gummy,” I murmured.

“You’re a natural,” said Pinkie, sweetly.

“Guess you rubbed off on me, with the twins,” I said.

Pinkie’s eyes widened, and she looked at her side.

“I rubbed off on you? I didn’t know you could do that! Did I lose some of me?”

“I didn't mean...Oh, never mind. Let's just get some sleep. I haven’t got any pajamas, so I’ll have to sleep like this. Shouldn’t be too bad, though. It’s a cool night.”

I crossed over to my mattress and settled down on it. I took off my glasses and my wrist watch (thankfully, the latter was still functioning) and set them on the bedside table. Pinkie had managed to heave herself onto her own bed.

“Good night, Davie!” she said.

“Good night, Pinkie.”

Pinkie reached over and clicked off the light, plunging the room into darkness, save for the moon filtering through the window. I laid my head back against the pillow and closed my eyes, letting the coziness of the bed and the utter quiet around me envelop me and drift me off to slumber. It had been an extremely weird day, but at least I’d survived. Now, all there was to think about was what tomorrow would bring.

***

“…vie?”

“Da…e?”

“Davie?”

I groaned. Something was prodding me in the ribs. I had no idea what time it was, or if any time had even passed. I was not about to look at my watch and give myself a reason to gripe. Turning over, I saw Pinkie. She was looking at me with a sad, almost pleading expression.

“Pinkie?” I muttered. “What is it?”

“My tummy really hurts, and I was having bad dreams.”

“You were? Well, I don’t want to sound rude, Pinkie, but that’s what happens when you eat so much before bed.”

“I know. I ought to know that better than anypony, but it’s never been as bad as this.”

Groggy as I was, I couldn’t help but feel pity at how pained Pinkie looked, even if she did bring it upon herself.

“Well, what do you want me to do about it?” I asked.

“I know this is gonna sound weird, but could I sleep in your bed? With you? Maybe you could rub my tummy, make it feel better?”

(She can't seriously be asking this, can she?)

"No," I groaned, before I could stop myself.

"No?" asked Pinkie, and her hurt tone caught me off guard.

"Maybe?"

"Maybe?"

"I don't know."

"Please?"

This was just way too bizarre. She was actually asking me to rub her belly? True, it was because she had a stomachache, but still...From what I'd seen in just this one day, in this world, ponies were equal to what humans would be in my world. Wouldn’t this be peculiar? I just didn’t know what to do. I was torn between a desire to help and concern for not understanding what was acceptable or unacceptable in pony society. That was just like me: never sure about doing anything unless I knew it wouldn’t be weird or taboo. There was a word for it that people preferred to label it with: wishy-washy.

I looked at Pinkie, and there was a loud, angry gurgle from her pained belly as she winced with a small whimper, her ears flattening.

That was the last straw.

(Confound these ponies. It should be illegal for them to be so cute.)

“Climb aboard, Pinkie,” I said, with only a hint of resignation.

Her pained frown turned into a smile.

“Oh, thank you, Davie,” she said.

She clambered onto the bed, making it creak with the extra weight, and turned over onto her back so that she was lying on top of me (almost crushing me with her weight), her head under my chin, her blue eyes gazing up at me cutely. I couldn’t suppress an eye roll at what I was about to do, but I manned up and began gently massaging her middle. It felt warm, soft, and squishy beneath my touch as I ran my hand in a circular movement around it. I still couldn’t believe I was doing this, but Pinkie at least seemed to relax, as she let out a sigh.

“Pinkie, you are going to tell me when I can stop, right?”

No answer.

“Pinkie?…Pinkie!”

“Huh? Whuh?”

“I said you are going to tell me when I can stop, right?”

“Oh! Yeah, of course!”

“Good.”

I just lay there in silence, my hand automatically rubbing her stomach as if on autopilot, as she settled into me cozily.

“Did you have fun tonight?” she finally asked.

“Eh? Oh, of course I did. It was a nice finish to what was otherwise a weird day. I still can’t believe it only happened in one day.”

“But was it still a good day?”

“Of course it was. I mean, I still wish I knew how the heck I got here, but Ponyville…it’s starting to grow on me.”

“Is it? Ooh, that sounds painful, and kind of gross!”

“What are you-” I was about to ask, but then it hit me, and I couldn’t even muster a groan or slap my forehead at the absurdity of it. “Seriously, Pinkie?”

“What?” she asked, innocently.

“Nothing. You are just so random.”

I gently ticked her side, and she giggled, wriggling her back legs.

"You wanna know something else, though, Pinkie?"

"What?"

"I may have thought you were, well, a little weird at first, but I'm glad you're my friend."

I saw Pinkie smile that cute, warm smile of hers.

"Thanks, Davie. I'm glad you're my friend, too."

There was another loud gurgle, and she suddenly grimaced.

“Pinkie? Are you ok?”

The gurgling persisted, and then, without warning…

*BRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAP!!*

It was astounding how the room was still standing after a gastronomical explosion of that magnitude, and the Cakes, especially those twins of theirs, must have been heavy sleepers to survive that kind of noise. I, for my part, was at a loss for words. Now, I liked toilet humor just as much as the next person, but I had never witnessed a belch quite like that. At the very least, Pinkie’s gut had noticeably shrunken to about its normal size, though still a bit doughy to the touch. I guess the bloating and discomfort was just gas.

“Feel better?” I asked, gently, resisting the urge to gag.

“Much!” she said, grinning. “Thanks, Davie. That really helped.”

“Glad to be of service,” I said, ironically.

“So, I guess you can stop now.”

I removed my hand, but she just made herself more comfortable.

“Uh, Pinkie?”

“Hmm?”

“This wasn’t part of the deal.”

“Aww, but you’re so warm and cozy. Just for tonight?”

She looked up at me with those big puppy dog eyes. Now that was just an unfair tactic…

“All right, all right,” I said, with a sigh, “but just for tonight.”

“Yay!”

She turned over, wrapped her forelegs around me and snuggled closer. I sighed and tugged the blanket up over the both of us. Still, I couldn’t stay too mad at her. If it weren’t for her, I might not even have been here.

“Pinkie?”

“Mm?”

“Thanks…for letting me stay, for the party, for showing me around. It really was very sweet of you.”

“You’re welcome, Davie. You’ve still got a lot of learning to do, though.”

“Of course, and I wouldn’t learn from anyone else but the best,” I said.

She smiled, though her eyes were closed and she was already drifting off.

“Good night, Davie."

"Good night, Pinkie."

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