A New Home Means New Neighbors
I spent one last evening at Sugarcube Corner, having dinner with Pinkie and the Cakes. The latter were sorry to see me go, but were happy that I had gotten situated with my own home so well. I expressed my infinite gratitude at their having housed me up to this point, which they genially waved off as ‘nothing’ and ‘our pleasure’.
Finally, when dinner was over, I bid the Cakes a warm farewell, and they told me not to be shy about coming back to see them again. I definitely would not be shy; I loved Sugarcube Corner.
Pinkie had given me one of her crusher-hugs that took the wind out of me, and even Gummy, Pound, and Pumpkin had come out to say goodbye. Gummy clung to my leg as usual, and I petted his scaly back. To my amusement, I was actually able to get Pound to give me a ‘down-low’ high five, though the strength with which he applied to it numbed my fingers. Pumpkin didn’t try to suck on my watch again (thank goodness) but let me pat her on the head. At last, with the borrowed saddlebags slung over my shoulders, I gave one last wave to Pinkie and the Cakes, which they reciprocated, and I started off toward the western end of Ponyville, where my new home lay…
***
As I approached my house, I was happy to see that my bed had indeed been delivered on the same day. It was sitting outside, with the pillows and sheets sealed in a separate parcel on top of the mattress. A burly brown pegasus stallion with a 5 o’clock shadow was waiting beside it, and looked up as I approached.
“Ah, good!” he said, gruffly. “Looks like I made it just in time. You Mr. Dave?”
“That’s me,” I said.
With his wing, the stallion reached into his saddlebag and drew out a clipboard. Handing it to me with the same wing, he used the other to hand me a pen.
“Just sign there,” he said, and I did so. “Where do ya want it?”
“Uh, probably the downstairs bedroom,” I said. “Do you want a hand?”
“Nah, don’t sweat it. I got it.”
And indeed he had. With astonishing strength and speed, the stallion began transferring everything piece by piece through the door, starting with the pillow and sheets, then following up with the mattress, then the bed frame. As this was going on, I heard a familiar voice.
“Dave? Is that you? What’s going on?”
It was Derpy. She, Sparkler, Scootaloo, and Dinky were trotting up, looking puzzled by the procedure.
“Oh, hey, gals,” I said. “Just step 1 of moving in, I suppose.”
“Moving in?” asked Derpy.
Her wonky eyes crossed one way, then the other, as she seemed to be wrapping her mind around what I said. Then, she gasped.
“Dave! Are you saying that this-” she pointed to my new home, “-is yours?”
“Indeed it is, neighbor,” I said, beaming.
“Neighbor!” Derpy said, gleefully. “You’re gonna be our neighbor! That’s wonderful!”
“Yay!!” squealed Dinky, as she hopped around my legs. Sparkler and Scootaloo looked thrilled.
“Believe me, I’ve been wanting to leap and shout for joy myself,” I said. “It’s been one heck of a weekend.”
“I can imagine,” said Sparkler. “Meeting the Princess, getting a job, buying a house…I’d be exhausted.”
“I am still a little exhausted,” I admitted. “I hope to sleep like a baby tonight.”
“Well, don’t sleep too late,” said Derpy. “Tomorrow’s the start of cider season.”
“Ah, that’s right,” I said. “I hope Applejack remembered to save a barrel in case…”
“Mama,” said Dinky, who had stopped bouncing around me, “why can’t Scootaloo and I have cider?”
“Yeah, Mom,” said Scootaloo, looking up at her adoptive mother, “why not?”
“You’re not old enough yet,” said Derpy. “Cider’s more of an older pony drink.”
“Aww, no fair,” huffed Dinky, pouting cutely.
“Is it that strong?” I asked, warily.
“Not too bad,” said Sparkler, “but it’s still too strong for little fillies.”
“I’m not a little filly,” said Scootaloo, grumpily crossing her hooves and sitting on her rump. “I’m a big filly!”
“Of course you are, Scootaloo,” giggled Sparkler, and she used the chance to tickle Scootaloo’s belly with her hoof, which effectively erased the grumpy frown from the filly’s face, making her break into giggles of her own.
“Of course,” I said, “all of you are welcome to visit anytime. I’ll try to get the house ready for visitors soon enough.”
“Oh, take your time,” said Derpy, “and you already were, but know that you’re always welcome to see us too, neighbor.”
She winked and smiled, giddy at the thought of the two of us living in such close proximity.
“Well, come on, girls,” she said at last, “it’s time to get dinner started.”
“See you later, Dave!” said Scootaloo, following her mother inside.
“Bye, Dave!” said Dinky, following suit.
“Bye, everypony!” I said, waving as they left, watching them go until the door closed behind them. It was going to be good having such nice ponies as neighbors…
“Well, that’s done,” came the gruff voice of the stallion. I turned to see him standing behind me.
“Ah, good. Thanks, sir. Here’s some for your efforts.”
I dug into my pocket and put about 5 bits into his saddlebag.
“Much obliged,” said the stallion, touching his hoof to his cap. “All in a day’s work.”
And, with a sweep of his wings, he took off into the sky, back toward the inner part of Ponyville.
As I stood outside, I wasn’t quite sure what I wanted to do first. Part of me wanted to go inside, unpack, and test out my new bed, but, looking towards the wood, I also felt an urge to visit Trixie and tell her how I had been doing. It wouldn’t hurt to stop over and at least see her…
With that resolution in mind, I dropped off my saddlebags in my bedroom, which still looked quite spacious with only the bed inside it, and, locking the door behind me with my new house key, I headed off toward Trixie’s Woods.
***
I knocked, as usual, on Trixie’s caravan door, and after I did, I heard a clatter of silverware. I must have interrupted her dinner. The top half of the door swung open, and sure enough, there was Trixie, wiping her mouth with a napkin held in her magic.
“Oh! Good evening,” she said, in something akin to her typical vocal grandeur, though it was friendlier than it had been. “I was wondering where you had gone to. I didn’t see you while I was walking around Ponyville incognito.”
I saw her give a glance to the inside of her caravan, and, following her eyes, I saw a large, black, hooded cloak hanging on the wall. That must have been what she used to go around without being noticed; her usual starry cape was way too conspicuous.
“Hi, Trixie. Sorry it’s been a while, but I’ve been super-busy. I don’t want to bother you, so I might as well say what I have to say out here.”
“No, I think you’d better come inside,” said Trixie, casting a wary look into the trees from where I had come. “I’ve found out there’s a family that lives nearby, and I wouldn’t want them to overhear and discover me.”
“Ohh, you must mean the Hooves’. I get your point, though.”
Trixie opened the door fully, and I stepped inside. The caravan seemed slightly more cramped than before, though this was probably because of the abundance of shopping bags packed into the back, full of freshly-bought market food. Trixie had done well to stock up.
“I was just finishing dinner,” said Trixie, indicating the little TV tray she had set by the bed, which was topped with a used dinner plate and utensils. “Sorry for the mess.”
“Oh, it’s fine,” I said.
Trixie whisked away the dishes and tray and sat beside me.
“So,” she said, giving her silvery mane a toss, “what’s been going on in the turbulent life of our Ponyvillian human?”
This sounded like it would have been sarcastic irony, and the tone did indeed seem to border on it, but there was a grin on Trixie’s face, so I let it drop and dove into what had happened after the last time I’d seen her: about Twilight sending my message back home, my decision to live in Ponyville under a royal stipend, Pinkie receiving the letter from her family, the Running of the Leaves, my new suit, going to Canterlot with Twilight and Rainbow Dash, meeting Princess Celestia, receiving my new job and stipendiary allowance, and purchasing my own home nearby.
This last news really seemed to strike Trixie.
“You bought a home near here? Why? I would have assumed you’d live closer to your pink friend.”
“I would have loved to have been able to,” I said, regretfully, “but there was nothing available. There were two bonuses with buying this house, though: living near the Hooves’, who have become dear friends of mine, and living near you.”
“Me?” asked Trixie, surprised. “You actually wanted to live near me?”
“Well, of course,” I said. “I thought you could use some company, since you don’t really want to be seen by anypony else.”
Trixie’s look of surprise briefly turned into a warm, appreciative smile, but almost as quickly, she cleared her throat and said, importantly,
“Well, obviously, you wanted to live within my vicinity. Who could possibly stay away for long from the Great and Powerful Trixie? It is impossible! I possess an irresistible magnetism that keeps my fans coming.”
I just rolled my eyes and chuckled. She still hadn’t changed that lofty attitude of hers.
“But at any rate,” she went on, “you seem to have had a very productive week, and it has only been your second, if I’m not mistaken.”
“Yep,” I said. “I’m already wondering what the rest of this year and the next will bring me.”
Trixie, however, suddenly changed countenance again, to a more serious expression.
“You said your pink friend received a letter from her family shortly after our last discussion?” she asked.
“Er, yeah,” I answered, not sure where she was going with this.
“You didn’t happen to make mention of my association with her family’s rock farm, did you?” asked Trixie, in a warning tone.
“Trixie, I gave my word,” I said, slightly affronted. “I said I wouldn’t, and I didn’t. You can trust me.”
Trixie continued to stare hard into my eyes, as if she were trying to read my mind, but finally relaxed and said,
“I know you didn’t. You may be a boy obsessed with happy endings for all-”
I ignored that.
“-but I can’t help finding myself trusting you. You have that…look to you.”
“You’re not the first to have pointed that out,” I said.
“And I, for my part,” said Trixie, “have only glimpsed Twilight Sparkle once or twice in my hidden wanderings, and as much as my soul ached to go over and give her a swift kick in that big, star-studded flank of hers…”
Her tone had become heated as she said this, but she finally sighed and said, calmly,
“I let her pass without speaking a word to her.”
“You are going to come out of hiding one of these days, aren’t you?” I asked.
“Eventually,” said Trixie, “but I wish to bide my time a little bit longer. I still need to think of what I will say to Twilight Sparkle; something that doesn’t involve me wanting to blast her to Jupiter…”
“Sounds like we’re making progress,” I said, in a hopeful tone.
She gave me another swift glance, probably from my choice of words, but she eventually just rolled her eyes with a smile.
“I really hope this can work out, Trixie,” I said. “I still say you deserve a second chance.”
“…Thank you, Dave,” said Trixie, in a soft, grateful tone. “I’m hoping it works out as well.”
“Well, then, I guess this is good night, then…neighbor.”
I held out my hand. She looked at it for a moment, then placed her hoof in it.
“Good night…neighbor.”
She smiled, and I smiled in return, before standing up and taking my leave of her caravan.
***
Finally. There was nothing to stop me, nothing else to do. I came home, went inside, and, without even bothering to change out of my clothes, collapsed on my back onto my bed. The mattress was unbelievably soft, and the pillow was cloud-like beneath my head. The bed the Cakes had provided for me hadn’t been uncomfortable, but this was heavenly compared to it, and it was all my own. The whole house was my own. I didn’t have to worry about being an expensive load to Pinkie or the Cakes anymore…It would be a little lonely without Pinkie, of course, but we’d already agreed that we would be able to see each other anytime.
I hated having to get back up, but knew that it was inevitable. I got up, changed into my pajamas, and set my bed up with its new sheets and comforter. Then, after making sure the windows were all closed and the front door was locked, I gratefully climbed into bed, letting the coolness of the sheets wash over my tired body, and immediately dozed off.
***
It felt as if I had barely closed my eyes before I found myself in the oddest dream I had had yet.
I was standing on what looked like a cliff, but the cliff…was made of chocolate.
Yeah, chocolate. The whole thing was one big chocolate bar, down to the individual square pieces that made it up. Delighted, I broke off a corner and bit into it. It was delicious…
Now that I had a better sense of my surroundings, I looked around me some more. It was as if I had been thrown into a world inspired by the Candyland board game, unless this was Homer Simpson’s Land of Chocolate, or maybe even Willy Wonka’s Chocolate Room. Either way, I was in sugar-coated heaven.
All of a sudden, I heard a loud thud, and the sound of branches shaking. Turning, I saw Applejack, who waved merrily to me before kicking out at a tree behind her. The tree seemed to be made of licorice, and the things hanging from its branches looked like lemon drops. The drops plummeted into little buckets set around the tree. So, was that lemon-bucking, or drop-bucking?…
My attention was again diverted by a loud ‘Whee!’. I turned and saw the four Crusaders, wrapped up in winter scarves, hats, and earmuffs, sliding on a giant graham cracker down a big mountain of ice cream. The four seemed to be alternating from squealing with joy to taking big licks of the ice cream as they went down. The sight made me laugh.
Then I saw Rarity trot past. She was wearing a dress that was red-and-white striped, like peppermint, and was bedecked with sparkling gumdrops. She looked quite dazzling.
Next, I heard a loud cheeping at my feet. Looking down, I saw what should have been a little baby chick, but it was unmistakably a Marshmallow Peep. It hopped and twittered until Fluttershy came over, nudging it gently with her nose to move it along, where it joined a flock of Peeps moving along to my other side. Behind her capered a row of colorful Gummy Bears.
I scanned the skies for a sign of Rainbow Dash, but was doomed to disappointment in looking for her there. Instead, I found her dancing on the spot in front of a large marshmallow, moving with the steps of one trying to be dodgy in boxing. She was lashing out with her hooves at the soft marshmallow, its squishy form absorbing the blows. It looked like the perfect punching bag.
Twilight, for her part, was standing by Spike, who was repeatedly shooting jets of flame from his mouth to heat up an enormous cauldron as tall as me. A smell of rich, melted chocolate was wafting from it. They were making fondue! Derpy, Sparkler, and Lyra were already standing by it, smelling its contents dreamily.
As I walked around, gazing at my friends enjoying this candy-covered landscape, I realized there was somepony missing, somepony who would most likely give anything to be in a world like this…
Her location was answered as I approached an elegant-looking chocolate sailing ship moored in a chocolate river. Through one of the portholes, I heard a munching noise, and even as I looked over the ship, I saw many teeth marks. Someone had been busy at it.
Then, all of a sudden, Pinkie’s front half came bursting through the porthole, knocking me back a few steps. She was wearing a little sailor cap atop her Pinkie frizzle, and her face was spotted with chocolate stains. She tried to clamber out, but seemed to be stuck as she pushed hard against the side of the ship. It was no wonder, as her body seemed to be filling up the whole space.
Finally, she burst out, spraying chocolate everywhere, and I felt some splatter onto my face. Pinkie had landed in a sitting position on the ground, her belly nearly twice as round and plump as it usually was. She merely grinned and gave it a satisfied pat, making it bounce. She didn’t seem to have noticed me, even when she had come bursting out of the ship, but now she looked up and spotted me. She gave a delighted shout and, with surprising agility for a pony of her girth, pounced on me, knocking me onto my back, Unfortunately, she was very heavy, and I felt nearly crushed beneath her chubby stomach.
In the next instant, I saw her lean down and give me a swift lick on the cheek, probably to get the chocolate that had splashed onto me. This action, right out of the blue, flummoxed me additionally to having her considerable poundage resting atop me. When I looked up into that sunny smile of hers, however, I couldn’t stay mad at her, and I reached up and ruffled her mane.
There was a ringing sound, and the two of us looked up to see Spike standing on a ladder beside the fondue cauldron, ringing a bell. Twilight seemed to be calling everypony’s attention to it. Pinkie immediately bounded off of me and, surprisingly, was still able to go at her usual bouncing gait despite her swollen gut. I got up as well and followed. Everypony was gathered around the cauldron, where an assortment of different sweets and snacks were stationed. I saw them each pick something up and stand in a line by the ladder. It looked like they were taking turns dipping in the fondue. I picked up a banana and joined the line.
When my turn came, I stepped up the ladder and stood over the rim of the steaming, delicious-smelling pot of melted chocolate. I leaned over to dip the banana into it, but I must have leaned out too far, because I toppled in headfirst, drenching myself in hot chocolate. I heard several ponies shout, some banging on the side of the cauldron, and, in particular, I heard Twilight’s voice calling out,
“Dave!…Dave!…DAVE!”
***
I awoke with a start. Sunlight was streaming in through the closed windows, and someone was pounding at my door, calling out to me.
“Dave! Open up! It’s me, Twilight!”
In a flurry, I jumped to my feet and, still in my pajamas, opened the door. Indeed it was Twilight, looking flustered.
“What’s the matter?” I asked.
“What’s the matter?” Twilight repeated, incredulous. “We’ve got to go! Cider season’s going to start soon! I just hope Applejack did save us a barrel after all. Get dressed and come to Sweet Apple Acres, quickly!”
And without waiting for me to reply, she galloped off.
Head still whirring from the crazy dream I had just had, I went back inside and got dressed, muttering as I did so,
“Big-Lipped Alligator Dreams…always the weirdest, but always the most fun…”
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2321523
One day, the mods will enforce this rule...
Hey great and funny chapter I haven't been able to record much because of family and I am working on a story of my own just a little update on the dramatic readings
Great.
Now I'm hungry.
2321570 Thats like asking Nintendo to stop making Pokemon.
This has turned into one of those fics that's too happy and slow paced to be actually good. There's no conflict, no internal struggle. Everything in ponyville may be just fine, but for the reader, it gets boring.
I'll keep following hoping that something happens eventually, but at only 2 weeks in PV and 48 chapters in, I have a feeling it will be a while.
Pinkie's got a taste for human! EVERYBODY RUN!
2322890 SWEET JESUS RUN! Deus adjuvet US!
I don’t know why but I’ve suddenly got a craving for chocolate
Davey...
i1.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/original/000/251/969/01b.png
Though I guess Pinkie's treats and physical exhaution are in the podium, too.
2322063 Cool your jets, brony. Not all stories have to contain action, conflict or grandeur - see Derpy's Human. This is slice of life at its finest, and it was never meant to be anything else.
Just sit back and enjoy the cute.
2325308
It's not that there's no action, it's that literally there is nothing going wrong for the character. Everything is happy, happy, happy. Wow, look at everything work out great for me because I'm an awesome guy!
I don't mind to sound like I'm ranting, and I apologize if I do. I'm more angry at myself than anything for taking almost 50 chapters to realize this is very borderline Gary Stu in Equestria.
Well I believe the dream shows he spent a lot of time with Pinkie. Since that would pretty much be her dreamland.
I nt know what to say out ze dream, but it was pretty cool
2325933 Well then, what do you suggest?
2329028 I don't know. That's up to the author.
Perhaps somepony could disagree with him, maybe have a misunderstanding between him and someone else. Even grumpy ponies!
My personal suggestion would be to give him a character flaw that doesn't come back and make him seem like an Incredibly Nice Guy. That's my biggest problem with Gary Tus, they will be given "flaws" only for the character to dismiss it with in a chapter or two.
2333414 Mmm-hmm, I see where you're coming from. It's a good idea if things are to be shaken up a little.
PM the author about it; he'll notice your input a lot faster that way, since comment reply notices aren't e-mailed anymore.
2333660
No need, Jack, I've been watching.
2333414
I do see where you're coming from, and I am trying the best I can. Ironmane still doesn't like him, if that's any consolation. I suppose I blame myself for parsing my chapters so much, but I have been getting expert consultation along the way.
2333901 Jes' trying' ta be helpful, pal
2334453
I know, and am grateful.
2333901
Oh, that's good news!
Honestly, I didn't expect this to be read. I'll be honest, between this and the 200 some other fics I'm reading, I'd all but forgotten about Ironmane. That is good consolation.
Good luck on future chapters and stories! I hope your expert is able to help you grow!
2352677
Not directly. I just thought it would help to establish at least some form of show canon.
Heh. Nostalgia critic reference.
2397737 I saw that to.
2321857 It ain't gon happen.
reading this chapter gave me diabetes.
i had no idea jupiter was in the equestria world
2727840 Many thanks for that video!! I'm very happy that I wasn't the only person to have noticed that reference. Have some yays:
2334458 Thank you for that Nostalgia Critic reference! Have some yays:
On a side note: random moustache!
On another side note: nostalgia critic and nostalgia Chic rule!
wow, i really like the part Dave was dreamin,
it feel so real even i was readin a fantasy in a fantasy story...
weirdest but the most fun huh?
sure! chocolate and best friends!
Well, this certainly shows that Dave's "going native," as it were... remember his and Pinkie's discussion about dreams a while back?
I'll have to mention this story to my brother. He doesn't think modern stories can reach an audience without conflict.
Great, now I got diabeetus.
4134453 Same here pal
2328875
Gott damn it, i just can't seem to have a day without laughing at something all retarded like. You avatar made me lose my shit and blew cake up my nose. So far the only good part was it being German chocolate cake.
Are those what they call...gemdrops?
Also...
...So in other words, it's a cliff bar.
Heh-heh, "big-lipped alligator"!..
Well, hi diddly-ho there neighborino!