Sugarcube Corner
As we went along, I heard Pinkie humming a tune that seemed oddly familiar. It sounded like a victory ballad I’d heard in a video game once. At first, I was confused, but then figured it was just her way of congratulating herself on achieving one of her objectives: introducing me to her closest companions. Still how did she know such a song?
At last, she came to a sudden halt that nearly made me topple over her.
“Pinkie, can’t you warn me before you do that?” I asked, irritated.
“Sorry. It’s just, we’re here!”
"Here where?"
"Where I live! Welcome to Sugarcube Corner!"
She pointed to a building in front of us. I looked up at it, and blinked in surprise.
Sugarcube Corner was like nothing I had ever expected. It looked like a much more upscale version of the gingerbread house that the witch from Hansel and Gretel lived in: gingerbread-colored roof bordered by what looked like icing, candy cane support beams near the door, and at the very top was what looked like a giant cupcake, decorated with enormous birthday candles. Even from where I was standing, the smell coming from the establishment was intoxicatingly sweet.
“You mean you live here?” I asked.
“Yep!" said Pinkie. "Live and work! Isn’t it great? That means I don’t have to worry about being late for work, because I’m already at work!”
“That…makes a lot of sense, actually," I conceded.
It also made sense how Pinkie kept up all of her energy: she lived where there was a ready supply of it. It also explained why she was chubby.
“Come on, let’s go in!" she said. "It’s time to meet the Cakes!”
“The Cakes?”
“Yeah, Mr. and Mrs. Cake, my bosses! They’re amazing bakers, and I know they’ll just love to meet you!”
(‘Meet the Cakes’. Sounds like the title of a really cheesy movie.).
Inside, it was nearly the same style of candy-themed architecture, with a glass-fronted countertop at the back, where the cash register stood, and several tables and chairs for customers. A set of swinging doors led to the kitchen, while a set of stairs led upwards to where Pinkie and the Cakes must reside. It wasn’t that crowded, as it was nearing sunset (I still couldn’t believe we had spent so much time out and about), so I caught a glimpse of a few ponies as we entered. A purple Earth pony with a cutie mark resembling a cluster of grapes was downing a glass of something with particular relish, while in a back corner, a gray pegasus with a messy blond mane and a cutie mark resembling bubbles was eating a muffin.
“Aha!” said Pinkie, suddenly. “Just the pony I was looking for. Wait here, Davie. Hey, Derpy!”
As she trotted over, the pegasus looked up, and I felt myself give a double-take. She was cross-eyed; her sun-yellow pupils were looking off into different directions, though one must have been focused on Pinkie, as she smiled brightly. Pinkie went right up to her and started to whisper something into her ear. On occasion, I saw her eyes flit towards me, so it made me wonder what she could have been saying.
All of a sudden, right out of nowhere, I was tackled right to the ground, as if a dog had pounced on me. Looking up, I saw that I had been pinned down by the green unicorn who had reacted so excitedly when I first came into Ponyville. There was an enormous grin plastered on her face, along with a manic enthusiasm glimmering in her vibrant orange-yellow eyes.
“Um…hello?” I asked, hesitantly.
“Hi! Oh, gosh, this is so great!”
Her voice was hyperactive, yet sweet-toned. It must‘ve been a byproduct of the cutie mark.
“Do you have any idea how long I’ve waited for this day?? Oho, my friends said I was crazy, but who’s crazy now, huh??”
She leaned in close as she said this, pressing her snout to my nose.
(Gee, how about the psychotic unicorn keeping me pinned down? And where’s Pinkie when I need her??)
Turning my head, I could just see Pinkie, and the pegasus was getting up and flapping her way to the door. Without even turning to see what I was doing, Pinkie trotted off toward the back.
(Don’t leave me!)
“I have so many questions!” the unicorn went on, and the string of questions came out in a rapid-fire fashion, so it was all I could do to catch them. “Do all humans wear clothes? What’s it like having hands? Or fingers? Or toes, for that matter? Is it true that humans are related to mon-keys!”
This last syllable came out as a yelp as she was tugged off of me. I saw that she was being restrained by her companion from earlier, the cream Earth pony with blue and pink hair. She looked quite harassed.
“Lyra!" she said. "That’s no way to behave!”
“But Bonnie! It’s a real human!” whined the unicorn, Lyra, “Everypony thought I was just making stuff up, but he’s living proof! See?”
“I know, I know,” said the Earth pony, wearily. “Look, I’m sorry I doubted you, Lyra, but really, I knew you’d take this too far.”
Lyra cast her eyes downward, ashamed. The Earth pony turned to me.
“I’m so sorry about that, sir. Lyra’s harmless, just excitable.” She then added, levelly, to her friend, “Now, say you’re sorry, Lyra.”
“Sorry,” Lyra mumbled.
“It’s all right,” I said, getting up. “It's actually kinda flattering to know you're so eager to know about humans.”
“Exactly!" said Lyra, triumphantly. "See, Bonnie? I'm eager, not crazy.”
The Earth pony rolled her eyes.
“In any case, I’m Bon Bon, or Bonnie, as my friends call me, and this is my best friend, Lyra Heartstrings.”
“Pleased to meet you both," I said. "And Lyra?”
The unicorn looked up.
“It looks like I might be here for a while. I’m sure I can find time to feed your curiosity.”
That delighted look appeared on her mint-green face again.
“Just…keep your questions reasonable, ok?” I asked.
“Ok! Thanks!”
She threw her hooves around me in a hug, and then galloped out the door.
“Come on, Bonnie! Race ya home!”
Bon Bon sighed.
“Roommates. What can you do?” she said, wearily, but she gave me a gentle smile as way of farewell and galloped after her friend.
At that same instant, Pinkie returned, followed by a pair of Earth ponies who must have been the Cakes. Mr. Cake was a lanky, square-jawed, yellow stallion with an orange mane and tail. He wore a paper hat, a large bow tie, and a white apron. Mrs. Cake was a short, plump blue mare with a pink mane that resembled a swirl of whipped cream, wearing a yellow apron bordered with pink, as well as spherical pink earrings. Mr. Cake’s cutie mark was a trio of what looked like carrot cake squares, and Mrs. Cake’s was a trio of cupcakes.
“Here he is, Mr. and Mrs. Cake!” said Pinkie, cheerily. “This is Dave! Davie, these are my bosses: Mr. Carrot Cake and Mrs. Cup Cake!”
“It’s a pleasure,” I said.
“Goodness me,” said Mrs. Cake. “To think we’d see the day when we’d have a human in our bakery!”
“We’d heard the excitement out in the town square,” said Mr. Cake, “but we were too busy to take a look ourselves. So you’re who everypony’s been talking about?”
“I am," I said. "I’m actually a little surprised how well everyone’s taking it. I mean, I thought they’d take one look at me and think I was some outside invader. That Lyra, though, she was all over me just a moment ago.”
Pinkie burst out giggling.
“Oh my gosh, that must have been so funny! Why’d I have to go off by myself so soon?”
“Trust me, if you were a witness, you’d never let me live it down,” I said, flatly.
Pinkie just grinned, and the Earth pony couple chuckled.
“What? What’d I say?” I asked.
“Oh, it’s nothing,” said Mrs. Cake, smiling, “From what Pinkie’s already told us, the two of you have been having a grand time together.”
“You honestly couldn’t have asked for better than to have run into her,” said Mr. Cake. “There’s no sweeter pony in Ponyville than her.”
“Aww, gosh…” said Pinkie, smiling in a pleasantly embarrassed way.
I couldn’t hold back a smile, either. In all honesty, looking at them, I wouldn't have been surprised if Pinkie was their daughter.
“And in any case,” Mr. Cake went on, “judging from how the rest of the town was talking about you, you sounded like a well-meaning young man.”
I looked at my feet, embarrassed.
“Well, I just don't like being a bother,” I muttered, humbly.
Pinkie adopted a more serious expression, however, at this moment.
“Mr. and Mrs. Cake, I have a really big, super-duper favor to ask of you.”
“Oh? What’s that?” asked Mrs. Cake.
“Davie’s kind of stranded here. He’s away from his parents and friends, can’t contact them, and he has nowhere else to go. Could he stay here with us for a while?”
Wait a minute, what?
That was Pinkie’s secret plan? To have me stay with her in her home?
...Why didn’t I see that coming?
As for Mr. and Mrs. Cake, they looked at each other in astonishment. I shared their sentiments.
“Pinkie,” I finally said, “I couldn’t possibly impose like that, not after what you’ve already done for me.”
“You wouldn’t impose,” Pinkie insisted. “You can stay with me in my room!”
I couldn’t help but redden a bit at this. Sharing a room with someone I only just met was awkward enough, but to share a room with a girl was something else entirely.
“Really, Pinkie, I can just stay in a hotel. It’s no big deal.”
“Without any money?” Pinkie asked, wryly.
“...Touche,” I consented.
It seemed, however, that Mr. and Mrs. Cake had come to a decision.
“We don’t see why you can’t stay, Dave, as long as Pinkie’s willing to share her room,” said Mr. Cake.
Were they serious?
They were really this willing to open their arms, er, forelegs to a complete stranger, and one of an entirely different and relatively unknown species?
“Of course, we might need to make some adjustments,” said Mrs. Cake. “I’m sure we have a mattress somewhere that’d suit you just fine.”
“I…I don’t know what to say…” I stammered. “I don’t deserve this level of kindness when you don’t even know me.”
“Oh, nonsense, dearie,” said Mrs. Cake. “You’re Pinkie’s friend. She seems fond of you, and it looks like you two have gotten along so well in such a short time. We’d be glad to have you as our guest.”
“It’ll be great, Davie, I promise!” said Pinkie. “We’ll have a fun time!”
“We’ll make sure everything's set up as soon as we close for tonight,” said Mr. Cake. “Does that sound good?”
For a moment or two, I was at a loss for words. At last, feeling moist about the eyes, I said,
“…That sounds perfect. Really, I can’t thank you enough. You ponies are all just…wonderful, opening your doors and your hearts to a complete stranger like me.”
“It’s no trouble at all,” said Mrs. Cake, kindly. “Pinkie's never wrong about the friends she makes.”
“Pinkie, why don’t you show Dave the room?” suggested Mr. Cake. “Help him get situated.”
“Okey doke, Mr. and Mrs. C!” said Pinkie. “Come on, Davie! My room’s upstairs!”
With that, Pinkie bounced her way up the stairs, and I followed close behind, still numb from what had just transpired.
***
Pinkie’s room was at the very top of Sugarcube Corner, in the giant cupcake that sat like a tower on the pinnacle. It made sense, to be perfectly truthful. As we came up the stairs, however, she stopped me for a moment to point down the hallway.
“Bathroom’s first door on the right, and the babies’ room is second on the left.”
“Oh, all right," I said, then stopped short. "Wait, babies’ room? You mean the Cakes have babies?”
“Yep!” Pinkie beamed. “They’re the proud mom and dad of two healthy young foals! You want to meet them?”
“Well, I don’t know, Pinkie. I’m not the best with babies.”
Truer words couldn't have been spoken. It’s not that I hated kids; I was a regular kid at heart, myself. I just couldn’t stand being in public places or in the same vicinity with a baby or fussy child; the crying got on my nerves greatly.
“Oh, I’m sure you’ll be fine,” said Pinkie, reassuringly. “They're asleep, so you don’t have to introduce yourself to them. Then again, why would you need to anyway, if they're sleeping?”
Off on another of her tangents…
Thankfully, we were already at the door, and she opened it quietly. The room was wallpapered blue, though I'd wanna say periwinkle, just to be fancy. At one end was what looked like a treasure chest, filled to capacity with stuffed animals, and in the other was a crib with a sun, moon, and star-themed mobile. Inside, nestled beneath their blankets, sound asleep, were two tiny baby ponies. The colt was tan with a brown mane, with a small pair of wings on his back. The filly was yellow with an orange mane, a unicorn’s horn on her forehead.
“This is Pound and Pumpkin,” I heard Pinkie whisper, indicating them in that order.
I couldn’t help but “aww” quietly at how precious they were. It seemed like no matter how loud or obnoxious babies could be, they always seemed to look the cutest or most pleasant while sound asleep. I turned to Pinkie, and saw that she was regarding them with motherly affection. She quietly approached the crib, leaned over, and, one by one, kissed both foals on the forehead. The babies smiled in their sleep as they shifted further into their blankets.
I was quite touched; despite Pinkie’s overabundance of energy and crazy behavior, she had a heart as soft and warm as a fresh-baked brownie.
“You make a wonderful aunt,” I whispered, as we left the room.
“Thanks,” she whispered back, sweetly.
She quietly closed the door, and we continued up the stairs. As we ascended, a sudden feeling of perplexity struck my thoughts.
“Hang on. Mr. and Mrs. Cake are Earth ponies, right?”
“Of course!”
“But those babies were a pegasus and unicorn.”
“Yeah?”
“…How does that work?”
“Oh, it’s easy! Mr. Cake’s great-great-great-great-grandfather was a unicorn, and Mrs. Cake’s great-aunt’s second cousin twice removed was a pegasus!”
She beamed, as if her answer was satisfactory, but it wasn't to me. I was more confused than ever. Still, I thought better than to question her further on it, so I decided to shift to a different topic.
“Pinkie, I meant to ask, but forgot about it until now: how were you the only one who noticed me land in Equestria? I mean, it must've been far off, but anyone must have seen a person tumbling out of the clouds.”
“That’s easy, too," said Pinkie. "My tail was twitching!”
She stopped, as if there was nothing more to say, but that kind of answer wasn't good enough for me.
“Your…tail was twitching?” I asked.
“Yep!”
Again, her tone suggested no need to say more.
“…Pinkie, you have to remember, I’m new to what goes on in Equestria-”
“Ohh! That’s right! I’m sorry, Davie. I’m just so used to everypony already knowing it by now. See, I get these feelings in my body that tell me when something’s going to happen. In this case, my tail was twitching, and that means something’s going to fall. And lo and behold, you fell!”
She emphasized this with a poke to my side. Was she being serious?
“…Pinkie, that had to just be an extremely wild coincidence," I said, reasonably. "No one can predict things based on weird twitches or spasms.”
Pinkie giggled.
“Oh, Davie. Twilight used to be just like you. She didn’t believe in my Pinkie Sense either, but now she does!”
“Wait, hold on, it has a name?" I asked. "‘Pinkie Sense’?”
“Yep!”
“And Twilight believes in it?”
“Uh-huh!”
“…You are just full of surprises, Miss Pie.”
“Thanks!”
We finally arrived outside a very colorfully painted door, decorated with a rectangular plaque that read “PINKIE’S ROOM”. She pushed it open, and we both walked into the most vibrant room I had ever seen.
It seemed as if every single paint color had been used at least once for certain spots. Despite seeing Pinkie’s bed and dresser nearby, the place seemed much more like an enormous party room, made for entertainment or celebrations. There were even balloons and streamers here and there on the colorful, pastel walls. A stairway led to a second level where I could just see a door, one that I presumed led to a balcony.
“Do you like it?" asked Pinkie. "I designed it myself!”
“That’s easy to see," I said. "You must throw a lot of parties in here.”
“Yep! Well, sometimes in here, sometimes in the entertainment room down on the first floor, sometimes out in the middle of Ponyville-”
She seemed to be going off on another tangent, so I took the time to walk around and explore. Almost instantly, however, Pinkie halted mid-sentence and said,
“Careful, Davie! My shoulder’s achy! That means Gummy might be wandering around somewhere.”
“Gummy?" I asked, puzzled. "What’s a Gummy?”
“Not a Gummy, Gummy.”
It was getting a little annoying how she expected me to know these things that were obviously familiar to her, and was about to speak my mind on it when I felt something touch my leg. I looked down, and felt a cold shiver run down my spine.
Clinging to my right leg with its little feet, gazing up at me with enormous, purple eyes, was an alligator. Granted, it was the size of a house cat, but it was still an honest-to-goodness alligator!
I yelled and shook my leg violently, trying to get it to come loose.
“Get it off! GET IT OFF!”
“Hang on, Davie! Don’t worry!”
Pinkie galloped over and, with one deft movement, swiped the alligator from my leg, taking it in her hooves as if it were a baby. I rounded on her, flustered and angry.
“Pinkie!” I snapped. “What the heck are you thinking, keeping an alligator in your room?!”
“Relax, silly! It’s only Gummy. He doesn’t even have any teeth. See?”
She held him up to my face, making me recoil. The gator opened his mouth, and I saw that Pinkie was quite right: there wasn’t a single tooth in there, only gums.
“Still, Pinkie,” I finally managed to say, “an alligator? Really?”
“Aww, but he’s so cute!”
‘Cute’ was a relative term. I’d never felt inclined to think of reptiles as ‘cute’ before, considering I was an extreme ophidiophobe and avoided snakes as much as I could. Still, being so small and innocent-looking (especially with those off-kilter eyes), Gummy did have a certain appeal to him.
“Besides, he’s harmless!” Pinkie added.
As if to demonstrate, Gummy sprang from Pinkie’s hooves and latched onto her foreleg, making her giggle. If it were any other alligator, I would have called Animal Control, but seeing as this was her pet, I assumed that was just the little guy’s way of showing affection.
“Well, this should prove to be a very interesting stay,” I said.
It was certainly shaping up to be so: talking ponies, obscure genetics, Pinkie Sense, and a toothless pet alligator were all pretty difficult to swallow, but if I was to have any chance of getting by, I’d have to learn to accept them.
“I know, right?” said Pinkie, gleefully. “We're gonna have the best time ever!”
She flung her forelegs wide, sending Gummy flying. Luckily, he landed in a basket lined with soft pillows, a yarn ball, and a teddy bear, labeled “GUMMY” in colorful lettering. There, he curled up, still gazing off into space with his wide, staring eyes, as if nothing had happened. It was a little unsettling.
“So,” continued Pinkie, “any idea what you want for dinner?”
I pondered on that, not quite sure what to say. I couldn’t exactly say I was looking forward to the prospect of pony cuisine, but I didn’t want to just assume that all they ate was oats and hay. They had a bakery, at least.
Suddenly, Pinkie’s eyes widened, and she let out a happy gasp.
“I know! I’ve got the bestest-best idea ever!”
It was amazing just how often she could actually will herself to say ‘bestest-best’. At this point, it was feeling like the inside joke of a movie.
“It’s a special day, since I found you, so I’ll cook for you!”
“Oh? You cook?” I asked, interested.
As soon as I asked, I felt it was stupid to have done so. Why else would she work in a bakery if she couldn’t cook?
“Sure! The Cakes let me help them bake all the time!"
"You've already done so much, though," I said. "I can't ask you to-"
"But I want to!" Pinkie insisted. "Pleeeeease?"
She looked up at me with huge, pathetic puppy-dog eyes, a look that went straight into the depths of my heart. How could anything possibly be this adorable?
“Well, I guess I’m game," I said, bringing a gleeful smile to her face. "What did you have in mind?”
“Wait and see!” she said, in a singsong voice. “It’s gonna be great! We’ll just have to wait until we close for the night. Is that all right?”
“Of course.”
“Great! Let me show you around, then!”
Without further ado, Pinkie grabbed me by the hand and whisked me off to give me a tour of her room, or what would temporarily become ‘our’ room, I should say.
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This is my most recent chapter, so it may not be too soon that I have the next one ready, but don't worry, it'll come when it comes. :)
I'm honestly surprised there aren't that many comments on this story. I'd thought there'd be a lot more.
Anywho, this story is awesome and for some reason makes me feel like I can picture it in a first person point of view in a vision type way, know what I mean? And I mean easily able to vision it and stuff
Your story is awesome and you should feel awesome.
and watching story.......its good!
I'm always up for a good human in Equestria fan fic, and so far this is turning out great, I like it, well written, well done, I don't see a single thing wrong.
... I don't have any comments on this. In reality it is very ironic.
I have zis queztion....Is Pinkie koink to be romantikally involved wit Dav
Ten dollars says that what she makes he won't be able to eat.
(‘Meet the Cakes’, I thought to myself as I followed her, Sounds like the title of a really cheesy movie…’).
More like a really cheesy sitcom, I think.
2739227
Or the intro video of a team of mercenaries....
*cough*reference*cough*
...
2820660
That's exactly what i thought too! Weird thing though, I listen to game OST's while i read, and i happened to be listening to the one for FF6 this time, at that point in the story, Battle theme! and i was like "Meh! Close enuff" seeing as the next track is the victory fanfare.
What? did you think that by pure coincidence it would match up? life doesn't always work like that.
2820655
RED CAKE IN BASE! RED CAKE IN BASE! PROTECT THE BRIEFCASE!!
2683415
Is this ment to be read with russian accent? cus thats how i read it.
Ophidiophobia is actually a fear of snakes, I think what you meant to say was herptophobia which is a fear of reptiles.
2938321 I read it in a german accent, it just seems better that way.
2739067 I know what you mean... it's got me wondering whether Equestrians have ever heard of savory flavors.
*sigh* Considering this is Pinkie cooking for him, I just hope he doesn't overdose on sugar within a week... 
Good chapter, except for the lyra part. No, just no
Also
*They're
“Wait and see!” she said, in a singsong voice. “It’s gonna be great! We’ll just have to wait until we close for the night. Is that all right?”..
Reminds me of a certain fic that contains cupcakes...
2820660 I was thinking more along the lines of this one!
2820660
That was beautiful and i agree wholeheartedly.
Team Fortress Pony Confirmed!
4246958 Nah, you gotta up your game...
Still not seeing that "romance" tag.
s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/originals/aa/77/3a/aa773aaa995204d5905161bba61b20a1.jpg
1. There has to be someone that didn't got told about Humans even with Lyra there.
2. I admit it doesn't hurt to have Lyra not being crazy for Humabs once in a while.
3. I liked it that Dave got a bit annoyed by Pinkie and that he is not one that is completely unaffected by something like this.
4 I hope that this story isn't about any Monsters, because I don't like it to much if the Human main char always has to hide and get rescued by Pinkie or someone like that. I mean they arent even awesome cooks or something like that to be able to reward and still impress then somehow.
I think I've read too many herding/romance/clop/sense-smut stories here but... I think this is heading where I think it's heading...
2820655
! "I am the cake-baker guy... and THIS... is my cake!"
Hah
I've been soaking up slice of lifes like a sponge and this isn't too bad of a start. Not the best, not the worst.