• Published 27th Jun 2012
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Living in Equestria - Blazewing



A young man finds himself in a world beyond his wildest imagination...

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Last Days on the Farm

Pinkie had said our trip would last through Saturday, but she didn’t say at what time on Saturday we would be heading back. I’d leave that up to her. In the meantime, on Friday, she decided to show me the one spot on the farm I hadn’t visited yet: the quarry, along with its mine. She had to ask Limestone’s permission before bringing me, as they were her workspaces, after all. Permission was duly granted, though she sternly warned us to be careful. As she said, mines ‘were not playgrounds’. The way Pinkie acted even after this warning, it made me wonder if she’d even understood.

So, Pinkie, Marble, and I set off for the quarry. Once again, that unpleasant swooping feeling hit me as I unavoidably looked down into its depths. However, the twin sisters stuck close to me as we descended the spiraling pathway that led down.

“It’s ok, Dave,” said Marble, kindly. “We’re right here with you.”

“Yeah, Davie,” said Pinkie. “You’ll be just fine. Just keep your eyes on me, and don’t look down.”

I didn’t know if Pinkie was trying to be funny or not, because her back end, most prominently her poofy tail, was right in my line of sight. Midway through, however, she turned right around so that we were face to face, walking backwards down the incline. The dexterity with which she did it was impressive, but it still made me give a start, which I really didn’t need when my nerves were already strained from my acrophobia.

At long last, we reached the bottom of the quarry. Rocks of various sizes and colors were strewn all over. Most of them were boulder-sized, and some seemed to be halfway through being chipped down into smaller sizes. In one of the rock walls, a square opening framed with wooden beams opened up onto a tunnel, and a set of minecart tracks leading into it. It was here that Pinkie and Marble led me.

To my surprise, the mine was well-lit. Lanterns hung from the ceiling, and their light was reflected by countless crystals. Not just any crystals, either. These were huge, some pieces even bigger than me. There must’ve been something potent in the Pie farm soil to make them develop like this. The mine tracks cut a path through them.

“Wow,” I breathed, my voice echoing slightly. “There must be a fortune in here!”

“Limestone’s very proud of this mine,” said Marble. “She widened it herself, and she makes sure nopony messes with it.”

“And what does she do with all of this crystal?”

“Sells it to ponies in the village, usually,” said Pinkie, “or else anypony who drops by from out of town. Some ponies come all the way out here just to buy Pie family crystals. They pay big bits for them!”

“I can imagine,” I said. “But then, what do you guys do with all the money?”

“We keep some of it,” said Marble, “and it went a long way in putting Maud in a good school, but Mom and Dad give a lot of it back to the town. They say what we keep is more than we’ll ever need, and we ought to share the wealth with our friends and neighbors, anyway. Limestone agrees.”

Wow. That was really sweet of them. Plus, given how the family was, it made sense how they wouldn’t want to stray too far away from their traditional roots by being big spenders. I could respect that.

The mine went pretty far back, sloping upwards as we walked. I could see different paths branching off from the main one, complete with their own sets of tracks. There were also smaller holes that looked like the work of moles or other burrowing creatures. Limestone really dug deep down here. Pinkie bounced ahead, her humming echoing all around us. Marble trooped behind me, keeping quiet, but giving me a little smile every time I looked back at her.

At last, we reached what seemed to be the end of the shaft. Judging by the rough, pitted look of the rock, Limestone was still working away at it. A minecart was sitting at the end of the tracks. It was empty, and looked in pretty good condition.

“So all of this is Limestone’s work?” I asked.

“Yep-yep!” said Pinkie.

“Well, Dad chips in sometimes,” said Marble, “but Limestone did most of this. She plans out which days are mine days, which ones are quarry days, and which ones are field days.”

“Man, now that’s dedication to your family trade,” I muttered.

“Ya know,” Pinkie said, an undeniably sly tone in her voice, “it would be really exhausting if we had to walk all the way back after coming all this way. If only there was a quicker, funner way back…”

Her eyes were flitting between me and the minecart. I raised an eyebrow at her. I had a feeling I knew what she was talking about.

“Seriously?” I asked.

“Pinkie, I don’t think that’s a good idea,” said Marble. “Limestone might not like it.”

“Aww, please?” asked Pinkie, pouting. “Just this once? Davie might never get a chance to ride in a real minecart again!”

(And Lord knows how tragic that would be…)

She continued to look at me imploringly, putting on the puppy-dog eyes and everything. She really wanted me to do this. I looked at Marble, who gave me a rather helpless look, as though torn about saying no to her twin. I sighed.

“All right, all right,” I said, resignedly. “One ride. You promise?”

Pinkie beamed.

“Promise!” she said. “Now hop in!”

Rolling my eyes, I climbed into the minecart. It was fairly sizeable, but I still had to draw my legs in a bit. Marble hesitated, then clambered in next, sitting with her back against my front. She looked very reluctant, though. Pinkie braced her hooves against the back of the cart, grinning.

“Here we go!” she cried.

She gave it a push, and it started rolling right away, making my heart jolt. With nimbleness only a pony like her could muster, Pinkie vaulted into the cart with us, so that she was in front of Marble, sandwiching her between the two of us. I put my arms about her instinctively, and felt her grip my arms with her hooves.

The cart rolled along a fairly level set of track, then it reached the start of the slope. It started to pick up speed at an alarming rate, clattering faster and faster down the track. Marble screamed. I screamed. Pinkie let out a delighted squeal, waving her hooves in the air. I saw no humor in this at all. This was nothing like sledding; this felt much scarier! The cart’s wheels were making an awful racket, screeching as we hurtled along, the cart itself jostling this way and that. Were we about to derail?!

“Brace yourselves!” Pinkie called, happily.

Before I knew what was happening, we emerged from the shaft, back out into the open, and found ourselves heading right for the buffers at the end of the track!

*BAM!*

The cart collided with the sturdy buffers, and the force of it sent us all toppling out of the cart. I clung on tighter to Marble as I tumbled, somehow managing to land on my back with her on top of me. Pinkie landed in a heap, but bounced back onto her hooves in seconds, looking as if she’d just hopped out of bed.

“That. Was. Amazing!” she squealed. “What did you think, Davie?”

I couldn’t answer. My heart was hammering too fast for speech. Realizing I was still clinging onto Marble, I let go of her, and she was able to right herself. She looked plenty frazzled herself; she was panting, and her mane was very wind-swept. She helped me into a sitting position.

“Are you...ok?” she panted.

“I...will be,” I panted back. “You?”

“M-Mm-hmm,” she replied.

I was glad Pinkie had promised to only do it that one time. I don’t think I could stand another ride like that. She, for her part, was surveying the cart.

“Limey’s probably not gonna be happy that the cart’s all the way back at the beginning,” she said, and I heard Marble mutter ‘That’s what I said’, “but I think she’ll agree that it was worth it!”

(Somehow, Pinkie, I highly doubt that.)

***

I was right, and Pinkie was wrong. When Limestone found out, she gave her little sister an earful for messing up her minecart’s position and forcing her to roll it all the way back again. She was also irritated with Marble and me for allowing Pinkie to talk us into the ride, and I felt, with a pang of guilt, that she was right about that. I should’ve known better. Marble hung her head in silence.

However, Limestone grudgingly accepted that we were just trying to keep from hurting Pinkie’s feelings. It was true, after all. She did make us promise not to do anything like that again, a promise I was more than willing to make. She then left to go put the cart back, and Pinkie followed after her. I couldn’t keep back a sneaking suspicion that she was just looking for an excuse to ride in it again when it was being put away.

After that, Limestone more or less cooled back down, though she still threw Pinkie dirty looks over dinner. Something told me my inkling wasn’t too far off the mark. Pinkie, however, seemed quite impervious to them. Neither Grammy nor Igneous nor Cloudy said anything about it; perhaps they’d expected nothing less from the most exuberant Pie.

***

I slept badly that night. That harrowing ride, short as it was, had worked its way into my dreams. Again and again, I found myself rattling down the track, about to reach the buffers, only for the track to fall away and bring me right back to the beginning again. It was like a roller coaster that wouldn’t let me off.

Also, each time I went down, there were slight changes, which seemed to put the ride into slower motion. Once, I saw Marble rolling a round rock right beside the track, nudging it with her nose, and it went whizzing down right before I did. I saw it sitting by the buffers before I was brought back to the beginning again. Another time, I saw Pinkie’s upper body poking out of a hole that seemed much too small for her. I reached out and grabbed her hooves, hoping that her being wedged in there might bring me to a stop, but she popped out quite easily, and the two of us were rocketing along, Pinkie gleeful about it, of course. Another time, I could’ve sworn I saw a gleam of pale eyes, and a hissing whisper of ‘Preciousss’.

I awoke with a start, narrowly missing banging my head on the underside of Pinkie’s bed again. I looked around. The Pie sisters were all still asleep, Pinkie and Limestone snoring loudly. In the dim moonlight, I could just see Marble, her bangs billowing from her breath as she slept. Their dreams were obviously normal and undisturbed. Lucky them.

Then again, I supposed I should also feel grateful that Luna didn’t have to get involved this time. As a princess, she was far too busy to keep saving me from bad dreams. I felt sure she’d appreciate it as much as I did. Now I was feeling thirsty, though, so I got up and went to get some water, making sure to walk as quietly as I could.

Ahhh. That glass was exactly what I needed. I felt refreshed as I put the cup away in the sink. I was about to head back upstairs when something caught my eye. Someone was sitting out in front of the house. Curiosity got the better of me, and I crept over to take a look.

Cloudy was seated in a rocking chair that had been placed by the front door. A thick shawl was wrapped around her as she gazed up at the stars. One thing I noticed was that she wasn’t wearing her mane in its usual bun. It hung long and loose down her neck and over her shoulders. I supposed it wouldn’t be comfortable to sleep with it bunned up.

She looked around at the sound of my footsteps.

“Oh! Goodness, Dave, you startled me.”

“Sorry, Cloudy. I couldn’t sleep, so I went to get a glass of water, and I saw you sitting out by yourself. Is everything all right?”

“Oh, yes,” said Cloudy. “Some nights, when sleep doesn’t come easily for me, I find it soothing to just sit out for a while and watch the stars. Igneous doesn’t share such troubles; he doth sleepeth like a log, though he snoreth loud enough to wake one.”

She winked, and I chuckled.

“Well, is it ok if I sit out here with you for a bit?” I asked.

“Of course. I wouldn’t mind some company.”

So, I sat down beside her chair, wrapping my arms around my knees as I looked skyward. It really was another beautiful night.

“Pinkamena tells me that you still don’t know how you arrived in Equestria,” said Cloudy, after some moments of silence. “Is that true?”

“Er, yeah,” I said, awkwardly. “Our friend Twilight’s doing all she can to figure it out, as well as how to get me back home, but we still don’t have any answers.”

“Hmm,” said Cloudy. “I wouldst almost have fancied that your summons was an act by the Choosing Stone.”

I looked at her, puzzled.

“Choosing Stone? What’s that?”

“A very ancient and wise stone,” said Cloudy, reverently. “It is customary among those of the rock farming trade to seek its guidance and counsel when they seek a partner. Taketh Igneous and myself, for example. We were chosen, and betrothed within a fortnight. The Choosing Stone decreed that we shouldst love one another, and it was indeed so.”

“Wow,” I said, slightly bemused. “That sounds...romantic.”

Cloudy smiled.

“Thank you,” she said. “So, as I say, I couldn’t help but wonder if you hadn’t been chosen to be a partner for one of my girls. Pinkamena is very fond of you, and Marble seems to have grown to be so as well.”

I felt my face go red-hot at this.

“W-What?!” I spluttered. “T-That can’t be right, can it? I-I mean, your daughters are very fine mares, Cloudy, and I’m saying nothing against them, but I really-”

But Cloudy suddenly started to laugh, and my protests died away.

“Oh, Dave, do relax,” she said. “‘Twas only a joke. When last I visited the Choosing Stone, it mentioned nothing of you. In any case, I brought the matter up to them myself, and they have assured me that they simply view you as a good friend.”

The heat slowly began to ebb away from my face, though I felt slightly ashamed for reacting like that. Why was it so easy for my buttons to be pushed like this? I supposed it was my own fault for getting riled like that.

Something touched my shoulder. I looked up to see that Cloudy had rested her hoof on it, smiling maternally at me.

“It makes me happy knowing they have someone like yourself as a friend,” she said. “Why, Pinkamena’s own circle of companions was a delightful bunch when they visited, even if it took them a bit to get used to the rock farming way. Though we dearly missed Pinkamena since she first left, especially as she taught us to really enjoy ourselves for the first time in our lives, I’m glad she’s made such wonderful friends since then.”

I grinned back at her.

“Thanks, Cloudy,” I said. “I appreciate that, really. It’s because of Pinkie that I’m even able to live in Equestria. I owe her a great deal.”

Cloudy’s smile became warmer, and for a while, the two of us just sat together, gazing up at the stars. Somehow, after that talk, they seemed much brighter than usual.

Friday, February 22

***

There was a train that was going back to Ponyville Saturday evening, and it would bring us back at about midnight. We had one more nearly-whole day to spend with the Pies, therefore. I figured that this day ought to be extra-special, in that case, and wondered what we could do to make it so, but I was slower in thinking than Pinkie. She already knew what to do, and she made it clear around noon, when she called us all to the living area.

“Everypony,” she said, a noticeably serious and sober air about her in spite of the smile on her face, “since this my and Davie’s last day here on the farm, though not the last day ever, because then that would be really super-sad, and it would mean we’d never-”

“Get on with it, Pinkie,” said Limestone, dryly.

“I was gonna,” said Pinkie, exasperatedly. “Anyways, since this our last day here, I wanted to do something really special, something to make this day memorable! And so, that’s why…”

She whipped out, from out of nowhere, her party cannon! How in the world had she brought it with her? I hadn’t even noticed! I had only a split second to cover my ears (as did Pinkie’s family) before she fired, unleashing her brand of party magic. Within seconds, the living area had been transformed into a party space, complete with snacks, balloons, streamers, and confetti. The Pies’ expressions went from complete bewilderment to joy and amusement. They weren’t the only ones; in spite of my surprise, I was grinning from ear to ear.

“Party time, everypony!” Pinkie crowed.

It certainly was. An old gramophone, not unlike the one I got for Hearth’s Warming, was kicked into gear, belting out a jaunty polka tune. The remaining Pies, sans Pinkie, all looked as though they had just been reminded of something, something very pleasant.

“Good heavens!” chortled Igneous. “This old tune? Why, it’s been ages!”

“What’s wrong, Dad?” asked Pinkie, giving him a cheeky nudge. “You’re not getting too old to dance, are you?”

Marble and Limestone both let out an ‘Oooooh’! Igneous’ eye twinkled as he looked at his daughter.

“Is that a challenge, Pinkamena?”

“Mmmmmaybe,” said Pinkie.

“Then I accepteth. Cloudy?”

“Gladly, Igneous,” said Cloudy, smiling.

Now, I would’ve been more astonished at this, if I hadn’t already seen those pictures of Pinkie’s first party in the album. I wondered how long it had been since Pinkie had thrown a party like that for them. She never mentioned one when the others were visiting, but somehow I felt it was a given.

Nevertheless, the image of Igneous and Cloudy getting onto their hind legs, clasping hooves and dancing merrily together, was quite heartwarming. Marble and Limestone were partnered up, the former very giggly, and the latter looking happier than I’d ever seen her before. I expected Pinkie, by process of elimination, to be dancing with Grammy, but the old mare was stationed by the gramophone, smiling and bobbing to the music. Pinkie had bounced over to me and grabbed my arm.

“Come on, Davie!” she squealed. “Let’s dance!”

She dragged me into the middle of the ‘dance floor’, swinging the both of us about and laughing. Once I was over the initial surprise, the merriment began to wash over me as well, and I was laughing and dancing with her with equal vigor. It was only then that I realized Grammy was singing along to the song, for all of us to hear.

After a day of farming rocks
And working in the soil
When your hooves feel rough and your muscles numb
From all the strain and toil

Here, Pinkie joined in.

When you’re feeling all exhausted
Too weary to continue
There’s one sure-fire remedy
To put the spring back in you"

Together, both sang,

It’s the Pie Family Polka
Let’s party all day long
Just shake your tail and stomp your hooves
To this silly polka song!

And then, Grammy burst out yodeling, in a much stronger and clearer voice than one would’ve supposed could come from an old lady.

Yo-del-leedle-addle-leedle-addle-leedle-addle-leddle-addle
Yo-de-la-dle-lee
Yo-de-la-da-lee, yo-do-la-da-loo
Yo-de-la-da-lee-da-la-da
Yodel-addle-leedle-addle-leedle-addle-leedle-addle
Yo-de-la-dle-lee
Yo-de-la-da-lee, yo-do-la-da-loo
Ya-dooo

The whole family laughed. So did I. It was pretty silly. For the next verse, Marble sang first, then Limestone.

So if you’re feeling gloomy or
You’re feeling kind of down

“This lively little polka’s sure
To take away your frown”

To my surprise, Igneous sang next, in a very strong voice, followed by Cloudy.

And even ponies such as we
Who farm from morn ‘til night

Just can’t resist the song and dance
That is every Pie’s delight”

Every Pie then sang the chorus.

It’s the Pie Family Polka
Let’s party all day long
Just shake your tail and stomp your hooves
To this silly polka song!

This time, Pinkie started to yodel, and due to our close proximity, I was lucky my glasses didn’t shatter.

Yo-de-lay-deeeeee
Yo-de-lee-daaaaaa
Yo-de-lay, yo-de-lay, yo-de-lay, yo-de-lay
Yo-de-la-da-lee
Yo-de-lay-deeeeee
Yo-de-lee-daaaaaa
Yo-de-lay, yo-de-lay, yo-de-lay, yo-de-la-dee-do
Ya-hoo!

The music went into an interlude, and we were soon swapping partners. Pinkie was now with Igneous, Cloudy with Limestone, and me with Marble.

“Pretty fun, huh, Dave?” she asked, her face glowing.

“Pretty silly, you mean,” I said, grinning.

“That’s the point!” Marble giggled.

What happened next was rather inexplicable. I don’t know what prompted it in me. I wasn’t under the influence of hard cider this time. And yet, I found words springing straight into my head as the music pulsed through me. As I sang, I drew all eyes on me.

To say this polka’s silly would be
Putting it too mild
So in the spirit of the tune
Let me say something wild

I wish that I could truly dance
But my feet won’t stay in rhythm
They’re not both left, but they’re both not right
So I can’t do nothing with ‘em!

I smiled rather guiltily at my random lyrics, hoping I hadn’t ruined the mood somehow. However, every single Pie face directed at me was smiling widely.

“Now you’re getting it, Davie!” Pinkie cried.

Now that made me smile in earnest! So, as we came to the last chorus, which repeated itself, I joined in this time.

It’s the Pie Family Polka
Let’s party all day long
Just shake your tail and stomp your hooves
To this silly polka song!

It’s the Pie Family Polka
Let’s party all day long
Just shake your tail
(Yo-de-lay-dee-lay-dee-loo)
And stomp your hooves
(Yo-de-lay-dee-lay-dee-hoo)
Just shake your tail and stomp your hooves
To this silly polka song
Just shake your tail and stomp your hooves
To this sil-ly
Pol-ka
Sooooong

The song ended, and we all flopped into seats or onto the floor, panting and laughing. That was really fun! The last time I’d had that much of a rush was when Pinkie and I danced on our special day together.

“Hoo!” sighed Limestone, loudly. “What a blast!”

“I can’t believe I still remember that song,” said Igneous, taking off his hat to wipe his forehead. “It’s been years since we last danced to it together.”

“Well, I figured we all ought to do something really special for our last day,” said Pinkie, “so I talked it over with Grammy, and she said it was a great idea!”

“Wonderful dancing, dears!” said Grammy, beaming. “It really brings a smile to this old mare’s face, I tell you. And you, Dave. You dance pretty well yourself, for someone whose feet won’t stay in rhythm.”

“Aw, shucks,” I said, bashfully. “You Pies just really know how to party.”

“Thank Pinkamena for that, dear,” said Cloudy, smiling.

Pinkie smiled in a very pleased way.

“Well, everypony, back on your hooves! We still have a whole lot of party to get to!”

The gramophone was kicked back into gear again, this time on a different song. The party, as I knew Pinkie’s parties to be, started in earnest this time, and I lost myself in having a real good time with Pinkie and her amazing family.

***

All too soon, it was time for us to head out to the train station to head back to Ponyville. I was sorry to have to leave, especially after such a fun party, but I knew Pinkie’s family must’ve been even sadder to see her go again. Even if they’d supported her leaving for Ponyville, this was still where she was born and bred, and you can never truly forget your roots.

Once we were all packed, we stood outside the house to say our farewells. Pinkie looked ready to burst into tears as she hugged each member of her family one by one, receiving warm embraces from her parents and grandmother, and a double hug/nuzzle combo from her sisters.

“I’ll keep in touch,” she said, huskily, wiping her eyes. “That’s a Pinkie Promise. And remember what we planned out, both of you,” she added, smiling at her sisters.

They both nodded, smiling back. What were they talking about? Then the family’s attention turned to me. I felt a bit awkward, not sure how to properly to say goodbye to all of them. I cleared my throat.

“Thanks very much for having me, everypony,” I said. “You’ve really made me feel welcome.”

“‘Twas our pleasure, Dave,” said Igneous, smiling. “We were glad to get to know you a little better.”

Everypony nodded, and I felt warm inside. All of a sudden, Grammy pulled me into a one-legged hug, reaching up to tousle my hair again.

“Take care of yourself, dearie,” she said.

“Thanks, Grammy,” I said.

Cloudy rested her hoof on my shoulder, a kind smile on her face as she gave me a little nuzzle.

“You’re always welcome to return for a visit, dear,” she said.

“Verily,” said Igneous, engaging me in a firm hand/hoofshake. “Our door shalt always be open for you, Dave.”

“I really appreciate that, Igneous, Cloudy,” I said.

Limestone simply gave me a punch on the arm, grinning.

“Take care, big guy,” she said, “and keep Pinkie out of trouble.”

“Or vice versa?” I quipped, rubbing my arm and grinning back.

“Knowing Pinkamena as we do,” said Igneous, with a small smile, “I truly doubt this to occur.”

Marble reared up and put her hooves around me in a warm hug. This time, I gladly reciprocated.

“We’ll miss you, Dave,” she said, tears sparkling in the corners of her eyes.

“I’ll miss all of you too,” I said. “Pinkie’s lucky to have such a wonderful family as you.”

“And to have a wonderful friend like you,” said Marble, making me feel even warmer inside.

With that, amid the five farm Pies waving and bidding us goodbye, Pinkie and I departed for the train station, turning to wave to them one last time as we went. Pinkie was sniffling, but still smiling, as the farm began to disappear over the horizon.

“So, what was that you were talking about with Marble and Limestone?” I asked.

“Sorry, Davie,” said Pinkie, slyly, “that’s between us, for the time being, anyway.”

“Well, all right, suit yourself,” I said, shrugging.

Soon, we arrived at the station, where the train was just pulling in, right on time. It was almost empty this time around, so we had a car practically to ourselves as the sun began to sink lower and lower. Pinkie was still sniffling a bit as we took our seats.

“Are you going to be ok, Pinkie?” I asked, gently.

“Yeah, I’ll be fine,” she said, wiping at her eyes. “I’m just really glad you had such a good time with them. I told you they’d like you, didn’t I?”

I chuckled.

“Yeah, Pinkie, you did. But really, how could we not get along? They’re your family, after all.”

She perked up immediately, all traces of tears gone from her eyes.

“Phew! I'm glad that trip is finally finished. It only took about 70 chapters!”

And while I tried to figure out what in Equestria she was talking about, she leaned over and started sleeping against my side. Deciding not to question it, as this was coming from Pinkie Pie, I rolled my eyes, smiled, and put an arm around her, as the train let out a whistle, gave a lurch, and started off, towards Ponyville.

(I hope she isn’t like this the whole train ride, or both of us are gonna get cramps.)

Saturday, February 23

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