An Un-Equestrian Child
I felt like I had barely closed my eyes before I was awake again. I looked over at Marble and Limestone. They were already sound asleep, breathing softly in their sleeping bags. My throat was feeling dry, so I decided I might as well get a glass of water. Stiffly, my head and eyes still heavy, I got up and headed for the kitchen.
I was halfway there when I froze. I had just heard something from one of the nearby windows - a creaking noise - as though someone was trying to open it from the outside. A bright pink shape was moving outside the frame, struggling to lift the latched window. I slapped my brow with my hand, half-exasperated, half-amused. What in the world was Pinkie doing, trying to break into my house? Had she been awake all this time, waiting for this moment? I figured I had better help her out if I was going to get any sleep, so I crossed over and lifted the latch.
Without even noticing my assistance, Pinkie slid the window open and dove through it, trailing behind her an enormous bulging sack. It would have completed the Santa motif she had going if she was even wearing a Santa outfit. Instead, she was wearing a bodysuit, only a shade darker than her coat, along with a domino mask over her eyes. Was she playing Santa or ninja?
Shaking the snow from her body, she then got into a crouching position, her eyes flitting suspicious glances this way and that. With speed and agility belying her plump physique, she darted behind the couch and armchair, crawled under the coffee table, and hung upside down from the ceiling, all while trailing that big bag with her, and while completely oblivious to the fact that I was watching her. It made me want to laugh.
At last, ‘Pinkie Spy’ seemed to feel that the coast was clear, and she dragged the bag to a corner of the room, where she began unloading its contents. I could see wrapped parcels of all shapes and sizes being dragged out and set down gently with care. Were those...for me?
Finished with her task, she tucked the now empty sack into her mane and turned to leave, at last realizing I was there. She let out a loud gasp that she quickly stifled by clamping a hoof over her muzzle.
“The Pink Shadow has been discovered!” she exclaimed, in a voice that sounded like Batman if he were a dubbed over Japanese film. “I must flee!”
She fumbled at the belt around her waist and pulled out a tiny black pellet. She tossed it at the ground, making a thick puff of smoke, but it only lasted a few seconds, and Pinkie was still standing there, looking about expectantly. I raised an eyebrow.
“Pinkie, that’s usually when ninjas make their escape. The smoke doesn’t just make them disappear.”
“Aw, shoot,” Pinkie grumbled.
“Now, would you mind telling me why you felt so inclined to sneak into my house so late?”
Pinkie adopted a sly grin, reared up onto her hind legs, and struck a pose not unlike a ninja.
“The window of opportunity always opens in the wake of the Pink Shadow,” she said, in that same harsh and throaty voice.
(But the window of the Dave is usually locked at night.)
“Pinkie, do you have any idea what time it is?”
“Exactly one minute past midnight,” said Pinkie, brightly. “Happy Hearth’s Warming!”
“Er, yeah, likewise,” I said, “but this still doesn’t resolve what you’re doing here.”
“I’m delivering your gifts in return, silly-billy!” said Pinkie, speaking as if I was a naive little boy asking his mother a question. “I delivered everything in the cart to everypony, and they gave me the gifts they had gotten you in return. I wanted to surprise you by delivering them while you sleep.”
“Oh. I see,” I said, feeling a mixture of gratitude and exasperation at this roundabout means of delivery. “Well, Pinkie, that was very sweet of you, and I do appreciate it. I’m not too enthused about the fact that you had the sudden impulse to break into my home, though.”
“Aww, but you said I could visit whenever I wanted,” said Pinkie.
She gazed up at me with one of her sad pouting faces. With a sigh, I reached down and ruffled her mane.
“Of course I like it when you visit, goofball, but I like being warned when you’re about to pop in. We had this discussion after you came back from your parents’ farm, remember?”
“Oh, yeah! Now I remember. But Davie, I’m Pinkie, remember? Not Goof Ball. I do know a Goof Ball, though. Nice stallion. Runs a shop”
“No, Pinkie, I meant- Oh, never mind.”
Suddenly, an idea clicked into my head, brought about by mentioning the farm.
“Speaking of, Pinkie,” I said, slowly, “I forgot to mention that there was a Part 2 to your gift.”
Pinkie’s eyes expanded to the size of dinner plates, the irises quivering with excitement.
“A Part 2? I love Part 2s! What is it?”
“Follow me and I’ll show you. The timing’s perfect.”
Still wearing her goofy spy suit, she followed me to the bedroom, where the two sisters were still sound asleep. I knocked on the door, and Pinkie cocked her ear at the rustling noises inside the room that followed.
“You’ve got guests?” she asked.
“Not just any guests,” I said, then opened the door. “Wake up, girls. Somepony’s here to see you.”
The two gave disjointed groans and mumbles as they stirred, and I may have heard Limestone saying something about ‘moving the boulders’, but soon they were sitting up and rubbing the sleep out of their eyes. I flicked on the light, and Pinkie let out a loud gasp that seemed to suck a double-lungful of air into her. She had recognized the drowsy forms of her own siblings, a mixture of astonishment and glee on her pink face. When Marble and Limestone finally spotted her, their sleepiness instantly vanished, and they looked just as excited as she was, though they didn’t seem to have noticed her ridiculous getup.
“Pinkie!” they said, in unison, scrambling out of their bags.
“Marble! Limestone!” cried Pinkie, bounding forward and enveloping them in a double hug. “I can’t believe you’re here!”
“Surprised?” asked Marble, giggling and nuzzling Pinkie warmly.
“We all wanted to be here, but Mom, Dad, and Grammy couldn’t make it,” said Limestone. “They send their love, though.”
“Were you planning this the whole time?” Pinkie asked.
“Nope. This was all Dave’s idea,” said Marble. “He wrote to us and invited us to see you.”
Pinkie released her sisters and looked at me. Her mouth was formed into a twitchy sort of smile, and I could see tears shining in those blue eyes of hers. I smiled gently at her.
“Happy Hearth’s Warming, Pinkie.”
As I had been expecting, she launched herself at me in the kind of embrace that made me have to support her standing up. She was a lot heavier than I remembered, and I soon fell into a sitting position, her forelegs still clasped tightly around me.
“You’re the most awesomest friend a pony could ask for, Davie,” she said. “It’s exactly what I wanted! Remember to always use your psychic powers for good.”
“Only the best for my besties,” I said, grinning while rolling my eyes.
Pinkie’s smile widened, realizing I had just used her own phrase.
“Davie? Do you mind if I take them back to Sugarcube Corner with me? I know it’s late and all, but-”
“Not at all,” I said. “That makes more sense, actually. As long as you two don’t mind-” I added, looking at the pair of Pie sisters.
“Of course not!” said Limestone. “We’ve been itching to see where Pinkie lives.”
“We’ll just pack up our sleeping bags,” said Marble.
Together, we got them rolled up and stowed away in their saddle bags. I went to help pick them up for them, but found this to be extremely difficult. Both sets weighed a ton!
“Sheesh, what’s in these things? Rocks?”
“Yep!” said the sisters together, proudly.
(Well, ask a silly question…)
“As a matter of fact, we’ve brought you a little something,” said Limestone. “Gimme a sec.”
She dug around in one of her saddlebags and produced a very unusual-colored rock. It was greenish with a yellow ring around it, and done up with a festive bow on top. She plunked it into my hands, making me nearly drop it.
“Er, thanks!” I said, not sure what I was supposed to do with it, but I supposed it was the thought that counted.
“Knew he’d like it!” said Limestone, grinning at her little sister. “What did I tell ya?”
“Yes, yes, Limestone, I know,” said Marble, rolling her eyes smilingly. “Well, Dave, thank you very much for opening your door to us. We really did appreciate you allowing us to come here.”
“It was my pleasure,” I said, graciously. “I hope the two of you have a great time here. Pinkie’s sure to help you accomplish that nicely. I happen to know for a fact that she gives a great tour of Ponyville.”
Pinkie beamed squeakily, and we waited as the two hefted the saddlebags across their hips with much more ease than I would have expected from ponies their size. Working on a rock farm had really toughened them. I walked the three of them to the door, shivering in my pajamas as a blast of cold hit me when I opened it.
“Good night, Davie!” said Pinkie. “And thanks again!”
“Good night, Pies,” I said. “I’ll probably see you around tomorrow.”
Waving goodbye, with Marble and Limestone thanking me once again, the three sisters trotted off toward Ponyville. Well, the former two trotted; Pinkie bounced along in her usual way. Despite the cold, I felt warm inside at having been able to reunite the three for Hearth’s Warming. They would have a blast in the morning, I just knew it. As for me, tiredness began to overcome me once again, so I shut the door, finally got myself that glass of water, set it down in my bedroom, and went to the bathroom to prep for bed. Once that was taken care of, I finally gulped down my glass.
“Mm...tastes funny. Maybe it just went tepid.”
Even as I said this, my entire self began to feel even heavier. I barely made it onto the bed and fell asleep, looking forward to tomorrow.
***
“I just can’t say no to her face...Celestia bless that little filly.”
The Doctor had never felt so pressured. When he had come home a few days ago to check on his youngest daughters, Dinky, without preamble, had proposed a question to him: did he think Dave was really happy? Of course, he wasn’t supposed to know the inner mental workings of another pony, even if that pony was a human, but he figured that Dave must terribly miss his home. Homesickness was a feeling he was quite familiar with. Dinky had then urged him to take Dave back home to at least see his family again for the holidays.
There were rules against this kind of thing. The Doctor could recite each one of them alphabetically, chronologically from when they were written, and backwards in several languages. He glanced at the filly who still thought he could do everything. Then he smiled. What were a few more broken rules? This, then, would be the Hooves’ gift to their dear neighbor.
***
The TARDIS was sitting at the ready for him in the Hooves’ family garage. He could time-jump to Dave’s, but what was the point of that, when he lived just across the way? Still, it had been a while since he had actually had to fly it manually like an aircraft. Well, how bad could it be?
He started it up, and it rose off of the garage floor and out the opened door. It was only when he was out into the open air did he realize how rusty he had become. The TARDIS swerved dangerously, even as he tried to keep its course steady. He felt something thud against it, and heard the sound of splintering wood. Hoping he hadn’t just run over something expensive, he set the TARDIS to hover beside Dave’s house and looked outside. He grimaced as he saw that he had knocked the family mailbox over.
He headed back over to his console and, despite apparently no one being there to listen to him, started admonishing.
“Now look what you’ve done. Derpy won’t be happy about that...Don’t you start. There are pegasi around here, and we can’t have you banging into another one of them! How many times do you expect me to get married anyhow?”
He settled the TARDIS slowly down onto the snow. Not the smoothest of flights, but he’d dealt with worse. As he pulled the doors inward, he saw that Dave’s window had been left open for him. How convenient! Quietly, he clambered inside, and once on all fours again, he peered out into the dark room. He had never been inside this house before. From what he could see in the moonlight coming through the window, it was reasonably comfortable, if a little sparse in furnishings. It was, however, a two-story house. The poor guy must feel lonely in such a large place by himself, even with his neighbors near at hoof. Quietly, he advanced to the bedroom, where his quarry was snoring loudly.
Dave was ‘spread out’ across his bed, arms hanging across its width, lying full back, mouth agape and producing those cavernous snores. The Doctor approached slowly to his bedside. He had to remain asleep for this to work.
“All right, Dave,” he whispered. “Time to go.”
Gripping Dave’s arm, he gave a tug, and the human toppled over and crashed to the floor, on his face.
“Oh dear. Lucky he’s asleep.”
“Five more minutes, Pinkie…” Dave mumbled, drowsily.
“Ohh, how sweet,” said the Doctor. “He’s dreaming about his friend. Well, come on, then.”
He gripped Dave under the arms and, with no small amount of difficulty, began dragging him slowly out of the room, back toward the front door. He took great pains to make sure he didn’t bang his head on anything as he went; he feared any sudden jolt might wake him up. He needn’t not have feared, however, for the human still snored noisily and uninterrupted.
“Goodness, you’re heavier than you look. I just hope you won’t be feeling this when you wake up.”
At last, with the Doctor having to open the front door himself, they reached the TARDIS standing at the ready outside. He had to drag Dave through the snow inside, shutting the door behind him.
If he had been awake, Dave would have found the transcendental enormity of the interior staggering. Instead, he drooled on the floor.
“Now, let’s get you comfortable,” said the Doctor, gesturing to a nearby armchair. “Leave all the, er, particulars to me.”
He dragged the unconscious human toward it and, with another effort, settled him in it. He looked quite at peace, as if he hadn’t just been abducted.
“Poor boy,” the Doctor muttered, as he made his way to the control room. “He must have had a very busy day. He’s so tired he can’t sense a thing. He’s acting just like Berry Punch on a Friday evening, only much less verbal. Well, I can only hope he behaves during the trip.”
Striding to the podium containing the TARDIS’ controls, he began setting the coordinates to his first stop.
“It’s on the way, so I might as well make sure that’s done too. Right then, that should do it.” He threw the lever with a shout of “Allons-y!”
And with its characteristic noise, the TARDIS vanished, leaving no sign that it had been there at all.
***
“All right, he should stay put where he is, so there’s no danger of him getting out. It wouldn’t do for him to be seen at this point in time, either.”
Ensuring that Dave was still lethargically stationary in his seat, the Doctor strode to the door of the TARDIS and stepped out. It had situated itself outside a small, humble-looking hotel. It was nighttime, the stars bright overhead
“This is where he stayed when he was checking on Dave. I’d never have guessed, someone of his rank. Well, no matter. It’s now or never.”
He stepped into the lobby and, after a few inquiries, was directed to one of the more luxurious suites on the top floor. He rapped on the door, and a moment later, the door opened to reveal a weary and rather irritable-looking Minister Ironmane.
“Can I help you?” he asked, stiffly.
“Yes, you can,” said the Doctor. “You are Ironmane, the Equestrian Minister of Foreign Affairs?”
“I am,” said Ironmane, raising an eyebrow. “And who exactly are you?”
The Doctor pulled out a wallet holding a shabby-looking piece of white paper and held it out.
“I am a member of the Equestrian Foal Welfare Bureau, Investigation Division 6,” he said, while donning a pair of sunglasses, “and I wished to have a word with you about certain events that transpired earlier today. May I come in?”
He stepped briskly inside without waiting for Ironmane to say ‘yes’ or ‘no’. This breach of common civility appeared to ruffle the aged unicorn significantly.
“Now see here!” he snapped. “This is unlawful entering, sir! I am a distinguished member of Her Majesty’s court! I could have you arrested!”
“Which is why you are the only pony I can turn to at this critical juncture,” said the Doctor, seriously.
“Critical juncture?” asked Ironmane. “What is this nonsense?”
“A young filly was rescued from the Everfree Forest not too long ago,” said the Doctor. “A filly by the name of Scootaloo.”
“And what has this to do with me?” asked Ironmane, sharply. “I don’t know this child.”
“She was rescued,” the Doctor pressed on, “by the human who calls himself ‘Dave’.”
Ironmane’s indignation melted away at once, but he was still frowning suspiciously.
“The human? He went into the Everfree Forest to save a filly?”
“Very bold and reckless, I admit,” said the Doctor. “However, I have recently come into cognizance of Scootaloo’s history, and it is not at all enviable.”
Ironmane still looked unimpressed.
“My time is very valuable, sir,” he said, curtly, “but I can sense that trying to oust you from my presence will prove fruitless, so I might as well let you proceed with your tale.”
“Very gracious of you, Minister,” said the Doctor, bowing courteously. “This poor child has had a very rough past. No mother, poor father, all the drama you’d see on a soap opera. You know how it goes. She’s been on her own ever since her father died, and to all appearances leads a normal life.”
In spite of himself, Ironmane couldn’t help feeling faintly troubled. He had no children of his own, and the only foal he had ever been in regular contact with was Twilight Sparkle, when she was studying in Canterlot. Still, the thought that a filly like this ‘Scootaloo’ had suffered so much, yet had managed to live an almost-normal life in Ponyville, was not easily digestible.
“Well, that’s...quite a difficult foalhood for such a child,” he said, finally. “But what use is this information to me?”
“I’m afraid this matter is out of my hooves, red tape and all that,” said the Doctor, “but when I was told you were in the Ponyville area, I knew you might be able to do something. It’s important to bring this to the attention of the right ponies.”
Ironmane said nothing, so the Doctor went on.
“Meeting you here, I know that I’ve gotten the perfect stallion for the job. Celestia chose the right guy.”
Ironmane’s mouth twitched, his gaze hard. He seemed to be weighing his options.
“...I shall consider what you have told me,” he said, finally. “And I shall speak to the human about this. It’s time I had a second talk with him, anyway.”
The Doctor’s face broke into a smile.
“Atta man! Oh, and don’t worry when you get the muffins in the mail. They’ll still be well within the expiration date. Ta-ta!”
He inclined his head, then stepped briskly out of the room. He turned back to see Ironmane still looking both bewildered and indignant, but the door was quickly shut behind him, and he made his way back downstairs, out of the hotel, and back into the TARDIS. To his relief, Dave was still slumped in the armchair, mumbling sleepily.
“How do you keep packing away the sweets, Pinkie? It’s incredible…”
“I see you’ve been a good boy and waited for me,” said the Doctor, pleasantly. “In that case, you deserve a little treat.”
***
“Dear Velvet,
How have you been, old friend? I was so delighted to hear about little Twilight Sparkle getting into Princess Celestia’s school. I only wish I’d gotten in touch with you sooner. I’ve seen the picture of her that you sent me, and she really does take after you. Things are fine here, out of the way of prying eyes. I couldn’t possibly stand living in the buzz and activity of Canterlot. I need my peace and quiet. Anyways, there was something I wanted to ask you, Velvet. As an author, your opinion on this would be invaluable. Do you think-”
But Daring paused, the pencil held still in her teeth. Someone was knocking at the door. Her brow furrowed. She had chosen a home deep in the woods of northwestern Equestria to get away from the noise and hubbub of civilization, and to avoid being pestered at her door, exactly like she was at this very moment. Sighing to herself, she put the pencil down and stepped to the door.
“Who is it?” she asked, somewhat gruffly, so as to intimate that her repose had been unceremoniously disturbed.
“A yearning visitor, Miss Do,” came the voice of the Doctor. “I shan’t take too much of your time, but I wished to see you, as I was passing by.”
Daring pursed her lips. It was exactly for this reason that she was considering asking her friend to take the reins on writing about her life.
“Well, all right,” she said, resignedly, “but please be brief. I’m in the middle of something important.”
“Of course, Miss Do. I quite understand.”
She opened the door to find the Doctor standing there, grinning genially. Daring did her best to smile back, though she was far from cheery from this interruption.
“I suppose you must be here for an autograph?” she asked, not altogether uncivilly.
“That would be most appreciable. Thank you.”
Daring allowed him inside, and while she shuffled around for a photo to sign, he began to chat, regardless of whether or not he expected her to answer. She barely even registered what he was saying: stuff about ransacked drawers, smashed mirrors, and even a kitchen sink thrown into the living room. It was clear he was just another nutty fan, but she’d faced much worse. Some of them were students in her academy classes.
At last, the autograph was signed, in her usual bold style, and she handed it to the Doctor, who stopped his gabbing at once.
“Ah! Thank you very much, Miss Do. You know, your reputation precedes you immensely.”
“Really?” asked Daring, sardonically. “I’d never have guessed.”
“Now, if it were me,” said the Doctor, in a casual tone, “I’d get into the writing trade. After all, who in their right mind would want to disturb an author? Just ask Nagatha Chorsetie.”
Daring blinked.
“Well, Miss Do, I shan’t take up anymore of your time. Thanks for the autograph.”
He took his leave out the door, and Daring shut it behind him, still quite bemused, mulling over what he had said. An almost wistful look came into her magenta eyes. At last, her expression becoming set with determination, she nodded to herself and returned to her letter. Taking up her pencil, she filled in the rest of the unfinished query.
“-you could edit my books? I’m thinking of writing under a pen name. A.K. Yearling sounds good. Let me know what you think, Velvet. My hooves are itching to start typing.
Your friend,
Daring Do”
***
“Well,” said the Doctor, sounding satisfied, “now that that’s taken care of, we can get on with our prime objective. Hold onto your new autograph, Dave, we’re in for a bumpy ride!”
Perhaps in light of Dave’s docile behavior in his sleeping state, the Doctor had pretty much flopped him over half of the control panel while he worked the rest of the controls. The autograph Daring had written was tucked gently away in the TARDIS’ control chamber.
“Now, let me see...this will be a delicate procedure, as we need to pinpoint the exact moment when you were dragged out of your home…”
All of a sudden, Dave slumped to the floor, his chin scraping against the dangly instruments on the console. The room gave an ungainly wobble, nearly knocking the equine Time Lord off of his hooves. Dave flopped along the floor like a fish, still snoring.
“You shouldn’t have done that, Dave,” the Doctor reprimanded. “These are extremely delicate timey-wimey instruments. The slightest miscalculation could send us centuries or miles off of our destination! Now, wait there while I assess what you just did.”
The Doctor scrutinized the console, making sure no damage had actually been done to the control panel. Luckily, the human’s slump hadn’t broken anything, and in any case, it would have taken much more force to cause serious damage to the TARDIS’s controls. He sighed to himself.
“And here I thought it would be something worse.”
No sooner had these words escaped his lips than the TARDIS canted sharply to its side. He gripped the console tightly with his teeth to keep from losing his balance. What he didn’t notice during this was the limp form of Dave hanging over one of the tree-like adornments in the room. All of a sudden, with a lurch, he slid off, and fell through the open doorway. The Doctor let out a strangled cry.
“Oh no!” he croaked, his teeth still tightly gripping the console. “Dave! Come on, you! Work with me!”
He tugged furiously at one of the levers, and, slowly but surely, the TARDIS levelled out. He slid to the floor, rubbing his aching jaw.
“Oh, this is bad. This is very bad,” he groaned. “I’ve got to find him, and make sure he’s not hurt, or worse, discovered!”
He rushed out of the TARDIS, and found himself standing in the midst of a dark, dense clump of trees. He grabbed a leaf, chewed it for a second or two in his mouth, then spit it back out.
“The Everfree Forest,” he said. “I’d know that flavor from anywhere.”
There was no sign of Dave from where he stood.
“Just perfect,” he muttered. “It’s Hearth’s Warming, Dave’s lost, I’m in the Everfree, and I’ve got nobody to listen to me be clever.”
Nevertheless, Dave’s safety was his responsibility at the moment, and he’d faced much worse difficulties in his journeys. His resolve stiffened, he trotted off into the forest, keeping his keen eyes peeled for any sign of the slumbering human. His worst fear, at the moment, was that he might have come into contact with a timberwolf. Well, he’d be ready to run, should it have to come to that.
“Dave!” he called. “Can you hear me? Dave!”
His voice echoed through the trees, losing itself among the foliage within seconds. At first, no answer came. Then, quite suddenly, his hoof struck against something soft. Looking down, he let out a cry of relief. Dave was stretched out on the ground, groaning softly, but still out cold.
“Oh, thank Gallifrey! You almost gave me a hearts attack! Come along, now. There’s loads to do, and not much time to do it in. Yes, I know I have a time machine!”
Gripping the human’s forearms, he began dragging him back toward the TARDIS. If he hadn’t been so preoccupied by this, he would have noticed a few disquieting details: Dave was wearing clothes different to his pajamas, a green notebook was clutched in one of his hands, and a piece of paper, torn at the edges, had caught on the side of the TARDIS.
***
The Doctor had set the semi-conscious Dave in front of him, put into a propped-up sitting position. With that done, he pulled out a pair of 3-D glasses and set them on his snout. His eyes roved around the TARDIS, checking for any sign of ‘void’-ness
.
“Mm...all seems clear...Wait a minute, what’s this?”
His eyes rested on a folded piece of paper, jutting out of Dave’s shirt pocket. Curious, he went over, picked it out, and read,
“To The Doctor of the past,
Hello, past me! Just letting myself know that I can’t send Dave back with the TARDIS. It’d end up a big problem. Time ends up asynchronous. Don’t want the poor kid wandering around in some far-off century, now do we? The best thing to do is to bring him back to Ponyville. After all, can I imagine how disappointed he would be to miss out on opening all of his Hearth’s Warming gifts? And need I remind me how devastated dear Derpy would be for him to miss out on her special holiday muffins? Not only that, but I think he’s grown rather attached to Ponyville, and if I took him away now, he probably wouldn’t like it. Dinky meant well, but it just can’t be done. See to it that he arrives home safely.
Yours sincerely,
The Doctor of the future.
PS: Be sure to drug Dave’s glass of water before he goes to bed. It’ll make the operation much easier.
PPS: Boot the Dave you have with me out of the TARDIS when we get into the air. The future Dave is just outside. Turn left, and you can’t miss him.”
The Doctor, who had become more and more serious as his eyes roved down this note from himself to himself, gave a start at this post-postscript. Rushing to the door, he looked out, and gave a cry of relief as he saw an arm lolling out of a bush just ahead of the open door. Rushing out the door, he gripped the arm and tugged, pulling out another Dave! Looking at this one, he wondered how he could have made such an error. This one was wearing the pajamas he had found him in, while the one standing in the TARDIS was wearing day clothes.
“Well, come on! As I said to you earlier (though a lot more than you can guess), loads to do, little time!”
He hurriedly dragged the Dave of the future into the TARDIS, but didn’t shut the door this time. Setting this Dave comfortably in the armchair, he turned to face the past Dave, who, all of a sudden, tilted over and fell with a thud onto the floor. Dragging future Dave inside must have messed with his balance. Past Dave snorted and stirred, his eyes opening blearily. They slowly turned towards the direction where future Dave was sitting
Acting on a mad impulse, the Doctor grabbed a book sitting on a nearby table, raised it high, and gave past Dave a sharp whack upside the head with it. The human crumpled, his eyes falling shut again.
“Alright, it’s a bit of a rush job,” the Doctor panted, throwing the book aside, “but you shouldn’t forget anything too important. It might make you susceptible to accepting new suggestions, however.”
Moving closer so that he was standing over the now unconscious past Dave, he took his head in his hooves, closed his eyes, and leaned his head forward so that their foreheads just barely touched. After a few moments frozen in this attitude, the Doctor pulled away.
“Now, that’s done. Let’s get you back to where this all began.”
Leaving past Dave on the floor, though moving him closer to the door, he went to the control room. Activating the ignition, he allowed the TARDIS to rise high up above the forest, up over Ponyville, into a patch of clouds. Making sure everything was in place, he moved to the open door, right beside past Dave.
“Well, then, past Dave, welcome to Ponyville! Cheers!”
He gave the human a hard push, and he went tumbling through the door and through the clouds, straight toward the ground. The Doctor sighed with relief as he saw him disappear.
“And now,” he said, turning to the Dave of the present, who was still snoozing peacefully. “let’s take care of this water business and get you back home to Ponyville.”
Something in the Doctor’s words seemed to stir Dave, and he smiled gently in his sleep, muttering something that sounded like ‘Pinkie’. With a smile in his ancient eyes, the Doctor closed the door and went back to the control room.
***
“Just one more quick stop, and I can call it a night.”
The Doctor was chancing a lot by this, but it had to be done. Thankfully, the window was still open, and no one was around. He clambered in, crept to Dave’s room, and cocked his ear. He could hear nothing from the bedroom, but could hear sounds coming from the bathroom. Now was his moment.
As quickly and silently as he could, he slipped inside and spotted his glass of water sitting on the nightstand. Pulling his flask from his pocket, he allowed a few drops to splash in.
“Perfect,” he said. “He’ll sleep like the dead all night. At least, I should hope so.”
He stiffened at the sound of a toilet flushing.
“I’d better get moving!”
He crept out of the room, back to the window, and made it outside just in time. Everything was in place now. What he hadn’t noticed during all of this, however, was that during the jump from the past to the present, the piece of paper that had stuck itself to the side of the TARDIS had vanished.
***
Like a fog lifting with the rise of the sun, the TARDIS came into sight outside Dave’s house once again. Judging by his calculations, he had already left with Dave seconds before arriving back at this very moment. The Doctor managed to heave Dave outside, back through the door, and into his bedroom. He lay him down and pulled the covers over him.
“Well, Dave, I tried,” he said, “but it’s just not going to happen this way. I’m sure you’ll love our Part 2, though. They’re Derpy’s speciality, after all.” He chuckled lightly, then said, kindly, “Sleep well, Dave. Happy Hearth’s Warming.”
And without another word, he stepped out of the bedroom and back into the living room. Stopping at the pile of gifts, he put Daring Do’s autograph atop the nearest parcel. With that done, he crept out of the house, back into the TARDIS, and piloted it back toward home, leaving Dave alone in his peaceful, untroubled dreams, completely oblivious to all that had transpired that evening.
He had just stowed the TARDIS in the garage before he became aware of somepony inside with him. Looking round, he came face to face with Derpy, a disapproving frown on her face. He smiled weakly.
“Sorry about the mailbox,” he said. “It won’t happen again.”
“Let’s hope not,” she said, grumpily. “but you’re taking the blame this time. Do you have any idea what time it is? You could have woken the kids up!”
The Doctor said nothing. He merely gazed contritely at her, until she finally sighed and said, in a mollified tone,
“Well, what’s done’s done. We’ll fix it tomorrow. For now, we left the leftovers from dinner out for you.”
“Thank you, Derpy,” said the Doctor, gratefully.
He looked up and gave her a childishly wide smile, which she returned with a smile of her own, though she added,
“You’re still not off the hook for this.”
While she went back upstairs, he went into the dining room, where the leftovers of that night’s meal had been set aside for him, covered up, as Derpy had said. Famished, he fell to at once, the journey having tired him out immensely.
At last, full and content, he headed silently upstairs, making for Scootaloo and Dinky’s room. Pushing the door open quietly, he stepped in. The two foals were already sound asleep, snoozing gently. Treading softly, he made his way to Dinky’s bed and gave her a nudge. The little unicorn stirred, turned over, and opened her eyes drowsily, staring into his face. She smiled sleepily.
“Hi,” she whispered. “Is it morning already? Can we open presents?”
“Not yet, Dinky,” said the Doctor. “I just thought I ought to tell you. Mommy and I had a talk, and we both decided it would be better for Dave to stay in Ponyville.”
“Oh,” said Dinky, quietly.
“But it was very sweet of you to think of him, Dinky. He’s lucky to have such a friend as you.”
Dinky smiled, then yawned.
“Good night, dear,” said the Doctor, leaning forward and kissing her forehead.
“Good night, Daddy,” murmured Dinky, and her eyes closed once more.
With a small sigh, the Doctor left the bedroom, his bones aching with tiredness from everything that had happened that night, but he wasn’t finished yet. Lighting a candle, he went to the writing desk and, with pencil in teeth, began writing out the message for his past self. It wasn’t easy being a Time Lord, but it always had its moments.
Who do you want to see in the alternate POV chapter? It can be anyone throughout the story thus far. 
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You must have Pinkie in the Alternate POV chapter....
Well, that was quite unexpected, but very enjoyable. I loved it!
Pinkie pov for sure.
Wow...ha you nailed the doctor wibbly wobbly timey wimey stuff well done
w00t! update!!
Oh my god, Blaze.
You remembered you had an overarching plotline!
Thanks for this. I'm not a follower of the Doctor proper, but this was still fun.
Brutus would interesting a dragon celebrating a pony holiday
4065280 Thirded... I think that's a word...
Pinks is best, or maybe Moonlight! I would be happy with either.
Great chapter. As for who I want an alternate POV? No clue
PINKIE POV in next chapter
and when will Pinkie and Dave get together already
though I suppose you want the story to stay within cannon for as long as possible
I can wait
Holy buck-balls you actually did a half-Doctor chapter! Bonus points for keeping it both wibbly and wobbly, and especially timey-wimey.
Seriously, I had forgotten about that notebook until you mentioned it in that little snafu with grabbing the wrong Doctor. And did that first page from the very first chapter drop someplace that somepony could find it? This could be a major problem... And great planning, if you had this in the bag from the beginning. Clevah.
I wonder where that sticky piece of paper that made like a pidgeon on the underground got to.
I wonder if Pinkie has been already reading it which is why she likes Dave.
Daring Dos autograph, before she became famouse, as an author? Sonata in Moonlight.
Where did the book come from, what was it, and thats a nasty way to set up three conditions for making sure amnesia means Dave cant go back without breaking things excessively.
Pile of presents, and Ninja Pie
....Daww....Dinky is so sweet it hurts...I wonder if she can regenerate...
4065138 Oh. You're right, I think--that makes a lot more sense.
Im so confused becuase ive never watched Doctor who, and it just feels so out of noware, please ex-plane what just happened
hello gentle colts.
Justoutof curiositywhymake the human like my little pony if youre gonnawipe all knowledge of it from him anyways?
Well, that explains everything.
Wait.
No.
Still, at least we know where that first page went.
There is only one solution to this:
4066099 That way, when he or somepony else finds the page, shit will go down. It will make the plot a bit more interesting, especially since most of us completely forgot about the page.
Sheesh. This is why my head always hurts when I watch Doctor Who! ALL THIS TIMEY WIMEY STUFF MAKES MY HEAD SPIN!
Did you...? But I... For what reason... You magnificent, cheeky bastard you! This chapter was brilliant!
4067097 Discord's different--he's an elemental force incarnate, or something.
4067118 i didnt because i shudder to think that the vashta nerada acually exist in equestria. count the shadows!
You made me
shit brickspanic like Twilight atI was ballistic for like an hour, thinking "woot, woot, abondon thread!
Shit is about to hit the fan!Story spiralling into oblivion! Preserve dignity and drop the story NOW", but luckly I could collect myself and finish this chapter. It... was... well.. acceptable....for the most faer even good. Good, ok?I like DW very much, but mixing it with this slice of life story is not that I would deem compatible. Considering most of Dr's adventures, this could turn into major creep story.
Please do not do this again. Pretty please?
Pacing and serenity of this story relaxes me greatly, no antidepressant could compare with it.
4067283
Don't worry. Pacing should return to normal after this. I enjoy taking my time.
4067299
Oh, I do't worry about pacing. I worry about WiFi, Weeping Angels, Silence and Vashta Nerada (who worries about Daleks anyway? pfff...) making cameo and meat salad out of random unsuspecting background pony.
But thanks for reassuarance
Thank you for a great story, please keep it up!
An unearthly child, the first ever DH episode. Let's see, so the doctor found past Dave in the Everfree, alongside current Dave, then through the past Dave out a window.
So THATS why he fell out of the sky at the beggining!
Cannot wait for more Doctor appearances! (Since you CONFIRMED there will be anyways)
Also, I think you created quite some paradoxes, but oh well. Time travel is haaaard D:
I want to see a Moonlight POV. She needs more screen time.
To tell you the truth, this whole chapter confused me
(All this timy-wimy stuff is too complicated for my 15 year old brain 
)
4067389 Oh hello. Are you just replying to absolute strangers for no reason? Also, I have an issue I need your help with.
Umm... In previous chapters you had "T. Velvet" as the author of the Daring Do books, and even had Dave ask Twilight if she knew who T. Velvet was (which she avoided answering)... So adding the "A. K. Yearling" bit created a plot-hole.
4070609
That hasn't been forgotten. It'll be attended to. I had written T. Velvet in as the author because of the rumor in the comics, and did this section as the first step to fixing that mistake.
4070632 Well, I don't see you actually fixing it; short of editing said older chapters...
4070658
I've just gone back to fix it up. I don't quite appreciate your tone, though, but I can understand your impatience or skepticism.
4070679 You're misinterpreting my tone then. I edit a fair number of fanfics, so I'm used to having to point out loopholes in case they were not noticed/the author couldn't think of how to patch them.
If you felt there was a tone in my writing, I apologize; I just wished to let you know of the loophole (in case you didn't realize), and help you patch it over (though I could not think of any way aside from editing the previous chapters, as I said before).
4070694
Oh. Well, I'm sorry if I sounded like a jerk just now. Time travel's such tricky stuff, and this chapter was partly to help fix that mistake I made.
4070697 No problem. I did like the inclusion of an explanation for Dave falling out of the sky, and you handled the wibly-wobbly timey-wimey potential paradoxes quite well.
Holy mother of muffins, I caught up!
Great story, I really love the fact that you've kept such a peaceful HiE fiction going this long. Action and drama are fun, and necessary for a novel to sell, but my favorite thing to read about in an HiE is just a person living with ponies, making friends, exchanging culture, and having fun. You've really delivered that, so thank you!
Looking forward to reading more.
I have just... the SLIGHTEST feeling deep down inside... that you thought of me at some point when writing this chapter.....
Now- I only have one thing to say to you.... Besides the fact that this story was in TRUE Doctor Whooves Style.
IT WAS-
media.tumblr.com/tumblr_mbdotpm7N91r079cq.gif
Ehhh.... No... That one doesn't seem right....
Oh! Here we go!
i.imgur.com/KPby7Ww.gif
Dinky and it must be very cute!
If i'm correct, there was an episode where The Doctor, Amy, and Rory went into the future and the time lines got spread apart(Green Waterfall and Red Waves).
.Near the middle-ish end The Doctor states that 2 different timelines of the same person would create a paradox too great for the TARDIS to handle.
.So, *in Dalek Voice* EXPLAIN! EXPLAIN!
Ah, there's the acknowledgement I was looking for...
Well, who knows when that page will turn up, but for now it doesn't really matter I guess.
The usual is now more readily accepted again now that this bit's been acknowledged... I'm starting to think of this as more of an Adventure Time writing style where you get a lot of good episodes but then in between the good episodes that can stand alone there's a wham episode like this one is. This is like an I Remember You type deal, where at the end of the episode you get this huge thing happening... Anyway, great work bringing that plotline back around at an angle that makes it possible to return to the status quo. Not many can pull that off effectively.
So...The Doctor is Derpy's ...husband....so unexpected that it passes as perfectly normal...c:
4096851 Was up?x)
OH MY GOD SO ITS DOC'S FAULT THAT DAVE DOESN'T REMEMBER MLP!!!
I love this thing all pages DONE hahaha i love this story Contiune this please....If you can
YAS A Whooves episode. This was great. Time travel is always fun. Great job. Lets see The whovian has to be around here somewhere.
4075696
Those images are great.
4120143
Why thank you. You wouldn't believe how long I had to skim the Internet to find the one of Tennant saying 'Fantastic' just to complete that joke.
.... Also... 'The Whovian'? .... Do you know me? X3