• Published 27th Jun 2012
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Living in Equestria - Blazewing



A young man finds himself in a world beyond his wildest imagination...

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Post-Grand Opening Excitement

The news of the return of the Crystal Empire was still more or less fresh on everypony’s minds in Ponyville, but now, the whole town was positively buzzing about the opening of the Brimstone Lounge. The Ponyville Express printed it in the dining column of their very next paper on Monday, which sold like the hottest of hotcakes. Apparently, Dolly and Razzo had been present at the opening as well, though I had no idea how I hadn’t seen them, or why they hadn’t come up to me personally, not that it really mattered in the long run. They must have stayed up pretty late to crank this one out.

What did matter was that it had become widespread that the origination of the Lounge itself lay with me. After the article was printed, I was soon besieged by townsponies coming up to me while I was out and about, bombarding me with questions. How did I come up with the idea? Was the Lounge really as big as a mountain, as Dolly claimed? Were dragons really willing to be friends with ponies? Did dragons eat ponies?

It was pretty awkward, but after the mares from the flower shop woke up from their faint, I did answer their questions as best as I could, recommending for them to see the Lounge for themselves. Many seemed willing, as they announced their intention to make a reservation as soon as possible. It didn’t stop the questions, however, and I had a constant herd following me about when all I was trying to do was grocery shop. It didn’t help that Mayor Mare had caught sight of me, and I could hear her telling anypony within earshot about the part she’d apparently played in all of it. I had no doubt she meant well, but it was still irksome.

Thankfully, they left off as I went off for home, walking a little faster than normal to put a little distance between myself and these inquisitive Ponyvillians. I couldn’t remember the last time I’d wished so badly to be left alone. It felt a lot like the old days, when I’d shut myself up in my bedroom, hunched over my computer like some troll. It made me cringe to remember those times.

I’d no sooner put away the last of my groceries when there was a knock at the door. I was already plenty flustered from answering so many questions, so I’m sorry to say my response was a bit snappish.

“I’m sorry, but this isn’t a good time! Go see the Lounge for yourself, if you’re so interested!”

“I’d rather hear about it from a good friend first,” came a familiar voice, sounding slightly hurt.

It felt like an ice cube had plunged into my stomach. Rushing to the door, I threw it open to find Moonlight standing on the doorstep, looking like a child caught stealing cookies. I could have punched myself.

“Moonlight, I’m so sorry,” I said, contritely. “I didn’t mean it. Please, come in.”

She went inside and settled on the couch, and I immediately sat next to her.

“I shouldn’t have snapped like that,” I said. “I was just having to answer questions about the Brimstone Lounge all day, and, well, I got a little testy. It wasn’t fair to take it out on you, though. Can you forgive me?”

Moonlight considered me for a moment, then, to my relief, smiled that gentle smile of hers.

“Yes, I can,” she said. “I’m just sorry you’ve been so badgered. If it’s a bad time for you-”

“Moonlight,” I interrupted, putting a hand to her shoulder, “it’s never a bad time for a good friend. I’ll answer anything I can about the Lounge for you.”

From there, I launched into a full description, as best as I could give, of the grand opening. I told her about the hugeness of the place, all the dragons that had been there, the speech from Brutus and Ironmane, being called up and recognized for what I’d contributed (she smiled glowingly at how well-received her slogan was), and then about the interior, the service, the food, and the entertainment.

“Wonderful music from Octavia’s ensemble and a group of dragon musicians, and they even managed to book both Trixie and a dragon magician to perform side by side!”

Moonlight frowned slightly.

“Trixie? I feel like I’ve heard that name somewhere before…”

“Probably mentioned at one of Pinkie’s parties,” I said, shrugging. “She’s a well-known stage performer.”

Moonlight nodded, though she still looked thoughtful.

“Yeah, that’s probably it,” she said. “But this place sounds wonderful. I’d love to go see it, but I don’t know if I’d want to go alone.”

“Maybe I can find someone to go with you,” I said, “someone who also wants to go see it. If not, maybe I could go with you.”

Moonlight smiled.

“That’s very sweet of you, Dave, but I wouldn’t want you to have to go to that kind of trouble for me.”

“It’s no trouble at all,” I assured her. “But, take my advice,” I added, remembering Brutus’ words, “when you do go, make sure you order some candy crystals. You won’t regret it.”

Moonlight giggled.

“If you think so, then I’ll make sure to,” she said.

From there, the rest of the afternoon and part of the evening drifted away as we delved into Daring Do’s next thrilling adventure.

Monday, February 4

***

Finding a plus-one for Moonlight turned out easier than I expected. The next day, while out for a walk, I encountered Rainbow Dash and Fluttershy. They seemed to be arguing. Well, to put it more accurately, Rainbow Dash was speaking argumentatively, while Fluttershy seemed to be shrinking behind her mane. Neither one of them had noticed me.

“Come on, Fluttershy!” said Rainbow. “Didn’t you see what the paper said about the Lounge? It sounds amazing! Twilight told me all about it! I really wanna check it out, and what’s better than going with one of my best friends?”

“I...I’m very grateful for that, Rainbow Dash,” Fluttershy mumbled, “but I really don’t think I want to.”

“But there’s nothing to be scared of!” Rainbow said, half-encouragingly, half-annoyed. “Ponies and dragons are friends now!”

“I know, and that makes me happy,” said Fluttershy, in a timid yet sincere tone, “but...but I still don’t think I could. You know how I get around dragons.”

“They’re not gonna hurt you,” said Rainbow, rolling her eyes. “Trust me, I’d like to see the dragon who’d try,” she added, aggressively. “He lays so much as a claw on you, and I’ll-”

“Rainbow Dash, no!” Fluttershy said, so sharply and suddenly, and with such a fierce look in her eyes, that both Rainbow and I jumped. “As much as I don’t like being near dragons, I would never ask you to do a thing like that, even for me! Don’t you remember what happened the last time you hit a dragon?”

Rainbow’s enthusiasm seemed to deflate at this. She now looked rather sheepish.

“...Had to bring that up, didn’t you?” she muttered.

“I’m sorry,” said Fluttershy, her expression softening again.

“No, no, it’s ok,” said Rainbow. “You’re right. I know I’ve done a lot of stupid things in the past, especially to you. Heck, some even recently. I mean, maybe I could’ve chosen somepony else to joust with me at the Crystal Fair, and I picked you, the last pony who’d ever think of it. Everypony else was busy with their own thing, but I should’ve asked first instead of forcing you like I did.”

I frowned slightly. I remembered the girls telling me about this when they returned from the Empire, and I hadn’t been very happy to hear about it.

“Rainbow Dash, that doesn’t matter,” said Fluttershy. “We were trying to keep the Crystal Ponies happy.”

“It still wasn’t fair to you, though,” said Rainbow. “I totally had more practice time than you did, and everything! Well, you may still need some exercise, but I’m sorry. I was being a bonehead.”

“Rainbow Dash, it’s all right,” said Fluttershy, gripping her friend’s shoulders. “I don’t think you were being boneheaded. You were being loyal to everypony in the Empire by trying to keep the fair going on. I should have tried harder myself, really. You shouldn’t beat yourself up like that.”

At last, Rainbow managed a small smile, and gripped one of Fluttershy’s hooves.

“Apology accepted,” Fluttershy smiled. “But I’m still not going.”

“Heh, figured as much,” said Rainbow. “I’ll find somepony else to go with.”

“Are you sure?”

“Yeah. I’d still like to find something we could do together, something we both can enjoy.”

“Umm...Do you want to build snowponies?”

At first, I was worried Rainbow was going to laugh in Fluttershy’s face at such an idea. However, instead, her smile became a little broader, and she said,

“Sure, that sounds fun! I’ll make the most awesome snowpony you’ve ever seen!” she bragged. “I’ll make sure it stays standing until Winter Wrap Up, so everypony can see!”

Fluttershy said nothing, but merely smiled.

“Let me just run some stuff home, and I’ll be at your place right after, all right?”

“All right,” said Fluttershy. “I’ll see you there. Oh! Hello, Dave!”

This last part was said as her teal eyes finally spotted me. Rainbow stiffened and caught sight of me as well. She didn’t look pleased with having been eavesdropped on, but thankfully for me, she wasn’t angry, just startled.

“Dave! Uh, heya!”

“Hi,” I said, grinning sheepishly.

There was an awkward pause, and then, the idea dawning on me at last, I said,

“You know, Rainbow, I bet Moonlight would love to go with you to the Lounge.”

Rainbow’s whole aspect changed in a second. She perked right up.

“You think so?” she asked.

“Sure,” I said. “She hasn’t been able to go, either. She had to watch Pound and Pumpkin, since both Pinkie and the Cakes went to the grand opening. Why not ask her?”

“Great idea!” said Rainbow. “Maybe I will! Thanks, Dave!”

“Anytime.”

With that, Rainbow took off, leaving me alone with Fluttershy. Her smile had faded, her eyes groundward.

“What’s the matter?” I asked.

“It’s nothing,” said Fluttershy, though it didn’t sound like nothing. “Sometimes, I just wish I wasn’t scared of so many things. I feel like I’m letting my friends down when they want to do things with me.”

She wasn’t crying, but there was a tremulous light in her eyes that went to my heart. I knelt down beside her and put a hand to her shoulder.

“It’s all right, Fluttershy,” I said, gently. “I know the feeling. There’s plenty of things I’m afraid of that keep me from wanting to do certain stuff.”

“Like what?” asked Fluttershy.

“Well, heights, for one thing,” I said. “Snakes, too.”

Fluttershy looked surprised at this.

“But snakes are so sweet and affectionate,” she said, with the passion of a true animal lover. “I know ponies are afraid of them because they slither or they have fangs, but once you get to know them, they’re just timid little creatures who want a little love.”

I didn’t want to argue with Fluttershy, but I’d have to take her word on that. I knew the saying of how some animals are ‘more scared of you than you are of them’, but it didn’t freak me out any less seeing a snake face me in a picture or on a screen with its fangs bared, about to strike. As far as I was concerned, snakes and I went together about as well as chocolate and onions.

“My point is, I know how it feels, thinking you’re taking the fun away by being afraid, but not everyone enjoys the same things. And besides that, a good friend accepts when something’s just not for you. Take Rainbow, for example. She didn’t force you to come with her to the Lounge. She accepted your reluctance, and you two arranged an alternative. She’s a good friend, even if she forgets a thing or two sometimes.”

Boy, I must have been overdue for one of these cheesy speeches. Where did they come from? It didn’t seem to matter, though, as Fluttershy’s smile was back on her face, and that made me smile.

“Thanks, Dave,” she said. “That makes me feel better.”

“You’re welcome, Fluttershy.”

“I should really get going if Rainbow Dash and I are going to build snowponies. I’ll see you later, ok?”

“All right. See you.”

Taking just a moment to give me a gentle little nuzzle, Fluttershy trotted off in the opposite direction. I’d gotten back to my feet, and she’d barely disappeared when, with a loud *Whoosh!*, Rainbow Dash appeared out of nowhere, startling me.

“It’s all good, dude!” she said, grinning. “Moonlight and I are set for a trip to the Lounge tomorrow!”

“That’s great!” I said, feeling my heart rate slowly return to normal. “I hope you guys have fun.”

“Thanks, man. Well, I’m off to Fluttershy’s. See ya!”

And with that, she zoomed off, whipping my coat about in her wake. Taking a second to smooth it back into place, I went on with my walk.

***

“So dragons and ponies are all friends now, right?” asked Caramel.

It was night, and the bowling alley was as packed as ever. I knew my teammates would want me to satiate their curiosity about the news of the Lounge. However, around them, like with Moonlight it felt more natural, since we were all friends here. Doc was absent tonight, and Meadow Song had returned, as peaceable and taciturn as ever.

“That’s right,” I said. “It’s a good first step towards ponies and dragons putting aside their differences. Plus, like Minister Ironmane said,” and here I adopted a passable imitation of Ironmane’s most pompous, clipped tones, “‘To see it come to fruition in my lifetime is more than I can begin to be grateful for. *ahem* *ahem*’”

My friends laughed, though I wondered if the real Ironmane would have been so appreciative of this sort of ribbing.

“Eeyup,” muttered Big Mac. “Times are changin’ fast these days. One minute they’re reportin’ about dragons waylayin’ mail ponies, now they’re clinkin’ glasses together in some lounge.”

“You’re not sorry for it, though, are you?” I asked.

“Eenope,” said Big Mac. “Ah’d like to see more dragons actin’ more like Spike.”

“You said it!” said Magnum. “That kid’s proof that ponies and dragons don’t always have to be biting each other’s heads off.”

“Except no one’s ever heard of a pony biting a dragon’s head off,” quipped Pearl, earning a laugh from her female teammates, though Screwball’s sounded like the notes of a trombone.

“Ahh, you know what I meant,” said Magnum, waving a dismissive hoof.

The night passed on well from there. My personal ball was helping me do much better than I was before, though, of course, there was no topping Screwball. And yet, what was even stranger was that, every once in a while, she wouldn’t get a perfect strike or spare. If she really could control where her ball went, what was the excuse there? Was she just bored of winning all the time? It seemed a reasonable hypothesis.

This was also the first I’d seen of Lyra and Bon Bon since our last walk. Both were looking in perfect health and spirits, which I was glad for. They, in turn, were glad to hear how I’d been getting on with my walking and piano practice, and were all attention to everything I had to say about the Brimstone Lounge. Bon Bon could indeed smell the fish and chips I’d had on me, but said it was hardly something to fret about. She’d heard Fluttershy saying how healthy fish were, something she ought to know from taking care of so many animals. She and Lyra weren’t acting quite as odd as they had been, though I noticed they kept stealing glances at each other when they went up to bowl. I just couldn’t see what it was all about.

From what Caramel said, plans for his and Sassaflash’s wedding were already underway, and we should expect the ‘save the date’ invitations any day now. I hadn’t attended a lot of weddings, the last one being my own sister’s. I wondered how different Equestrian weddings were compared to human ones. Well, how did non-unicorns wear their rings, for one thing? Ah well, they must have thought of a way around that. I knew weddings took a long time to actually get put together, so I’d just have to wait and see how this one played out. In the meantime, I had some bowling to do, and I couldn’t help my team if I kept spacing out.

Tuesday, February 5

***

Moonlight had left semi-early with Rainbow Dash, as it was such a long flight, so my neck of Ponyville was fairly quiet that day. I didn’t even hear a peep from Scootaloo or Dinky next door; they, Apple Bloom, and Sweetie Belle had already bombarded me with questions and gushings about the Lounge on Monday. Thankfully, I hadn’t lost my patience with them.

That day was therefore perfectly devoted to my usual routine: walk, cook, practice piano, that kind of thing. On my walk, I even saw the fruits of Rainbow and Fluttershy’s labors in snowpony building. Fluttershy had been content with making little snow bunnies, and even a cuddly-looking snow bear, while Rainbow had made a giant snow version of herself, wings flared, forehooves on hips, chest thrown out. Of course.

That day wasn’t exactly high with excitement or adventure, but interesting stuff couldn’t happen every day, or else there’d be nothing left for the future. ...Huh. That sounded like the sort of thing Twilight would say. I guess her stints as my teacher were rubbing off on me.

Wednesday, February 6

***

“Oh. My. Celestia. Dave, it was amazing!”

“It was unbelievable!”

At the earliest chance they had, after they were done with their respective work shifts, both Moonlight and Rainbow came over to tell me all about their time at the Lounge. Well, I say ‘came over’, but it was more like Rainbow soaring right through my window, which I’d had opened just to let some cool air in, followed by Moonlight knocking at the door like a normal pony. Once I’d gotten over that, I had them sit down and tell me all about it. By the sound of it, they’d had the time of their lives.

“So many dragons!” Rainbow said. “Last time I saw so many at once was the last migration!”

“The decor!” said Moonlight. “All those tapestries, that huge fireplace, and those marble statues! I heard the dragons made the pony one, and ponies made the dragon one! That’s so neat!”

“Real class acts, those guys,” Rainbow continued. “Of course, they obviously knew who I was, and knew better than to mess with me,” she added, rubbing her chest with her hoof in a smug way. “You shoulda seen who they booked for the entertainment, too! A three-dragon comedy troupe! I was busting a gut laughing!”

“And the food,” said Moonlight, with dreamy ecstasy.

“Aww, yeah,” murmured Rainbow. “For dragons, they really know how to whip up some good old-fashioned pony grub. And those candy crystals...Man, I just couldn’t get enough. I could hardly get up from the table after all that.”

“Me neither,” said Moonlight. “I’m so glad I ordered the champignons avec un fromage à la crème, l'artichaut et le cristal de sucre farce.”

“Well, I’m glad you two had fun,” I said, smiling, though I was momentarily stunned by Moonlight’s sudden use of Fancy. “And I have to admire your metabolisms. It sounds like you stuffed yourselves silly, but you look pretty much the same.”

“You wouldn’t say that if you saw me last night,” said Rainbow, patting her stomach. “Yeah, I burn it off pretty quick, but it still sticks with me for a bit. Learned that the hard way when I started having eating contests with AJ. It was slower going getting home. Moonlight, though, she’s the lucky one. You shoulda seen how big her meal was, and when she was all done, she looked like she hadn’t eaten at all.”

Moonlight giggled.

“I guess I just can’t get fat, at least for long,” she said. “Not even on dragon-made food. But how about you, Dave? You look like you’re getting along on your diet.”

“Yeah, slowly but surely,” I said. “I think my sick spell had something to do with it. Being forced to eat healthy to get healthy again helps, you know?”

Both pegasi nodded.

“Only a matter of time until I can go back to eating Sugarcube Corner cupcakes and Bon Bon’s candies again,” I said, with a chuckle. “Which reminds me, either of you have plans for Hearts and Hooves Day?”

“Nah,” said Rainbow. “I’m just gonna chillax at home.”

“Fair enough,” I said. “How about you, Moonlight?”

“No, not really,” said Moonlight, her cheeks briefly turning pink. “I mean, I don’t really have a special somepony. I have plenty of wonderful friends who are all very special, but...Well, you know what I mean.”

“No, no, I do,” I said. “Pinkie said almost the same thing when we were out on our day together.”

Rainbow snickered.

“Lemme tell ya something,” she said, “Equestria wouldn’t stay intact if Pinkie found her perfect match. It’d have to be somepony as crazy as she is, and I don’t think we could handle that.”

“Or it could be somepony who’s her opposite,” suggested Moonlight, “to balance her out. You know, somepony down-to-earth, like a yin and yang kind of thing.”

“Have you met her folks?!” argued Rainbow. “Anyway…”

They continued on in this way for quite a while, but I just let them carry on, simply enjoying their joint company and having them alleviate my boredom. After that, I invited Rainbow to actually join us for our joint reading session this time around.

“I’d love to,” she said, “but I’ve already gotten through the book. Frankly, I don’t trust myself not to spoil it for you. You two have fun, though. I’ll see ya later.”

Bidding us goodbye, Rainbow departed back out through the window she’d come in through. Shaking my head at her behavior, while Moonlight simply laughed, I went to get things ready for our next reading. This book was a bit longer than the others, so it might even take a third night to get through it to the end, but neither of us were complaining.

Thursday, February 7

***

Friday, like Wednesday, was largely uneventful. Well, I say that, but I’d actually achieved a substantial accomplishment. I had finally gotten ‘My Special Somepony’ memorized, and could play it easily. I would say ‘without looking’, but that might be a bit of a stretch. The point was, I was good to go for Hearts and Hooves week. However, I couldn’t get lazy. Even though I had it down, I ought to still practice it to keep it fresh.

Playing and practicing it so often had gotten its tune inextricably entangled in my thoughts. I hummed it to myself throughout anything I was doing. I hummed it when I showered, when I cooked, and when I was out walking. Ponies must have heard me, since I hummed it even when they were in earshot, but whether or not they knew what I was humming, they never let on. They’d know by next Thursday, though.

Friday, February 8

***

Saturday would have been as uneventful as yesterday or Wednesday if not for a rather odd occurrence that happened in the early afternoon. I was giving the living room a dusting when I heard a loud *clang* from outside. It came so suddenly that I dropped my dusting rag onto the floor. It had sounded like it had come from the Hooves household, and I rushed over to the window to see what it could be.

What I saw was nothing like I’d expected. Derpy had somehow managed to crash into her mailbox in a way that left her head and front legs poking out of one side, while her rump and back legs poked out of the other. How she’d managed it would have been the uppermost question in my mind, but it was contested by the fact that she must need help. Without further delay, therefore, I put on my coat and hurried out to her.

“Derpy! Are you all right?”

“Dave!” said Derpy, sounding relieved. “Thank goodness! I was worried I’d be stuck here until Sparkler or the kids came home.”

“What happened?” I asked.

“My wing cramped when I was flying home,” Derpy explained. “I lost control and crashed into the mailbox. I know you probably won’t believe this, but it’s not the first time it’s happened. It’s not just my mailbox it’s happened to, either,” she added, ruefully.

“And no one else is home to help?” I asked.

“Nopony,” said Derpy. “Sparkler had to go in today, something about a new shipment of pearls, and she’s got to sort the real ones from the false ones. Scootaloo and Dinky are out with Rainbow Dash. Who knows when any of them will be back?”

“Oh,” was all I could say.

“This week's already been kinda stressful,” she went on. “Cheerilee sent me a note about Dinky.”

“Nothing bad, I hope?” I asked.

“No, no, she just wanted to tell me about how she did on her last essay.”

Derpy’s tone puzzled me. It sounded half-complacent, half-grumpy. However, it didn’t seem right to question her about it, not when she was wedged into her own mailbox.

“Well,” I said, with a determined air, “I won’t let your kids come home to see you like this, Derpy. I’ll get you out. Just tell me how you want it done.”

Derpy’s miserable expression gave way to a grateful smile.

“Oh, thanks, Dave,” she said. “I think it might be better if I was pulled out backwards. There’s too much of me below the waist and wings to cram through the other side.”

“All right.”

I went to where her rump was poking out. There was indeed quite a bit of abdominal and posterior bulk she’d have to squeeze in if she were going out the other way, and her wings wouldn’t make matters easier, so this seemed best. I took hold of her back legs as gently, but as firmly, as I could.

“Ready?” I asked.

“Yes.”

“One...two...three!”

I gave a great tug backwards. The mailbox creaked on its stand as it bent the other way. For a second, I was worried that it was gonna snap in two from the strain. But then, fortunately, Derpy began to slide out. She was budging, at least.

“Just a little more,” I encouraged her. “Hang on.”

I gave another pull, and with a *pop*, Derpy came shooting out. I landed on my back in the snow, then felt a great pain in my torso as Derpy’s rump landed on top of me. I should have considered myself lucky that she didn’t land on my face. That would have been far more unpleasant.

“Oh no!” cried Derpy, getting off of me at once. “I’m sorry, Dave! Are you all right?”

It was an effort to get up again. The place where Derpy’s butt had landed felt like the bruise of a punch.

“Don’t worry about me,” I said, wincing slightly as I straightened up. “You’re the one who was trapped in a mailbox. Are you all right?”

“I am,” said Derpy, still looking a bit concerned for me. “Thanks, Dave.”

“You’re welcome, Derpy,” I said. “You said this happens a lot?”

“Yeah, unfortunately,” said Derpy. “So often that Ponyville’s pretty much used to it by now. I’m always getting my melon head or my bubble butt caught in some tight spot or another,” she added, lightheartedly.

“Are you just saying that because you have bubbles for a cutie mark?” I asked, wryly.

Derpy giggled.

“Yes and no,” she said. “Well, thanks again, Dave. I really do appreciate you getting me out of that one. It’s nice to have such a good friend as a next-door neighbor.”

“I feel the same way,” I said, grinning.

Derpy smiled and pulled me into a gentle hug, probably because she was worried she’d hurt me afresh if she did it too tight. Then, she made her way inside her house without further accident.

“It’s a shame,” I said to myself, as I headed back to my house. “Why does it feel like it’s always the nicest people in the world that so much bad stuff keeps happening to? Ahh, well, if she’s learned to take it in stride, why should I worry about it? She’s happy, her friends and family love her, and that’s all that ought to matter.”

Saturday, February 9

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