"I Shall Call Her..."

by Dr Atlas

It's a Tragic Life

“‘No rock farm. We’re not going on a rock farm for bits. A rock farm is no place for a show mare.’ How many times did you say that, Trixie? How many times did you say ‘oh, don’t worry, breezie-me, the next town won’t laugh at us. They’ll love our show. Then we’ll have all the bits and won’t have to resort to working on a rock farm.’ and what happened?’”

With gritted teeth, Trixie continued walking in the cold, rainy night, only a dark overcoat covering her with Lula flying above, wearing the same, only in her size. “You know, Breezie-me, Trixie is slowly starting to regret bringing you along in her journey to get the amulet.”

“But who found it for you?” Lula flew closer to her. “Who searched for it while you worked? Who flew around to get answers while you broke rocks? Who spent weeks on end going around until finally finding it in a shop?”

Trixie glared at her. “And who has the bits to pay for it?”

Their eyes were locked for a few moments until Lula looked away, her front legs crossed. “Still wouldn't have found it without me.”

“Trixie would of found it eventually, you just found it faster and saved Trixie’s time!” Trixie continued walking as Lula’s back stayed turned to her. She sighed. “and, as much Trixie hates to say it...she’s grateful for that, but your attitude towards her needs to change.”

“Attitude towards you?” Lula turned to her. “Trixie, I think it’s your egotistical attitude towards me, and everyone else, that needs to change!”

Trixie gasped, shocked to hear her say this after thanking her. “H-How dare you! Trixie is far from having such a big ego.”

“You say your name in almost every sentence!”

Trixie held her nose up. “Trixie does not!”

Lula couldn’t even respond to that without glaring at her. “Trixie, have you ever thought about changing the way you talk?”

Trixie raised an eye. “What do you mean? Trixie talks just fine.”

Knowing proper english, even if she was born roughly a week ago, Lula flew in front of her and thought of a way to help. “L-Look, try saying ‘I’. Can you do that.”

Trixie tilted her head. “Uh, what?”

Lula flew closer. “You know, ‘I’. As in, yourself. Is that possible for you?”

Trixie had a hard time understanding the question, but tried her best. “Okay...ahem. ‘Trixie’.” She said with a smile. “There, did she do it?”

Lula’s face went deadpan. “No, you need to say ‘I’.”

“Eye?”

“No ‘I’!”

“Aye?”

“Say ‘I am Trixie!”

“Trixie is herself.”

Lula’s eye twitched. “Okay then, say ‘Me, Myself, and I!”

“Trixie, herself, and her.” Trixie’s face stayed blank, knowing she said it right.

Lula groaned and facehoofed. “Ya know what, forget it, let’s just find that shop already. It’s cold out here.” Lula then flew off, Trixie trotting close behind.

They went past many alleys and corners around town, Trixie was becoming more sceptical the longer they went. “You remember where it is, right?”

Lula pointed ahead. “It should be this way, that’s what he told me.”

“Who told you?”

Lula shrugged. “I dunno, the guy had a coat on and covered his face with a bandana, and he kept calling me stranger, asking what I was buyin’ or sellin’. He was a really weird pony, weirder than you.”

Trixie ignored the last comment and asked, “Is that who we’re meeting?”

Lula shook her head. “Nope, we’re going to meet Uncle.”

“You have an uncle?”

Lula turned toward Trixie, now flying backwards. “No; Uncle Curio. He has a shop that sells a bunch of weird things, he’s place should be right-”

*SMACK*

Trixie managed to stop running before hitting the door leading to the shop. She looked up at it while Lula slowly slid to the ground, her back in pain after hitting it at full speed. “Ow…”

“Good, we found it, nice work, Breezie-me.” Trixie swung open the door and walked over Lula, who managed to fly in before the door closed.

Both pony and breezie looked around the room, seeing many different trinkets and knickknacks. “May I help you, Travelers?” Both turned ahead to see a pony walking in from the shadows behind the counter. “Seems something has drawn you into my shop?”

Lula flew up to him while Trixie looked around. “You’re Uncle, right? Uncle Curio?”

The shopkeeper held his head high. “Indeed, and curios are what I specialize in. I take it you’re here for something...powerful?” Lula was about to answer, but Trixie held her hoof up, smacking the breezie out of the way, and pointed at the one object she had been searching for. Curio noticed and smiled. “Ah, the Alicorn Amulet, you have an eye for things. It’s quite the charm.”

Trixie smiled while Lula seemed concerned. “Um...Trixie, are you sure about-”

The mare ran up to the counter, her eyes glued to the prize. “Trixie shall take it!”

Curio shook his head. “Sorry, mare, but the alicorn amulet is one of the most mysterious and powerful of all known magical charms...it is far too dangerous for me to just hoof it over.”

Trixie narrowed her eyes. “Oh really?” She grabbed Lula and pulled her up to her mouth, whispering softly.

Lula’s expressions went from Confused, to intrigued, until finally flying back and glaring at her. “Oh no, not that! We are not doing that, no one liked it on stage, and I doubt he would either!”

Trixie didn’t listen as she walked up to the counter, putting on a pleading face. “You wouldn’t mind giving it to us out of pity, do you?”

Curio laughed. “You look far from pitiable, mare.”

Trixie raised an eye. “I see...” Trixie took hold of the overcoat and took it off, Lula doing the same, regrettably. Both pony and breezie stood on their hind legs, now wearing a white shirt and blue coat combo with black pants, as well as a bandana on their heads. “Then let Trixie break it down for you, cuz.” She lit up her horn and brought out a disc player with a stereo from under her coat She then nodded to Lula, who sighed and flew up to the play button, hitting it with both her front hooves.

A strange rhythm started playing, Trixie craned her ear to it. “Wait, take the base out, Breezie-me.” Lula glared at her. “No? You don’t have to…”

Curio raised an eye at this. “Um...what are you-”

“Just roll with it.” Lula said, clearing her throat and taking in a deep breath, ready to sing the same song they had done on stage multiple times.

“It’s a tragic life for us

It’s a tragic life, for us.

Instead of treated,

We got tricked!

Instead of kisses

We got kicked!

It’s a tragic life.”

Before Curio could question any of this, Trixie took a stance and sung.

“Trixie has no road,

Only a waggon holdin’ her

Tia only knows

Got my breezie-me

And no wheels

See how it goes."

"Magic’s all she can do

You ask Trixie her name?

T to the Rezzo

I to the eXzzo

I to Ezzo

She’s a crazy mother @#%!&

You all knew that!

Sparkle caught her in the first act

It’s all horrible

What’s up with that?

So Trixie shall start a travesty

With the amulet

And her breezie-me

Gimmie that power

All the way

Smoke n’ mirrors EZ.

Magic cards, mother %@&$@#."

Curio’s jaw was dropped through all of this, it wasn’t every day he saw a pony and breezie dance and rap in his store, he tried to speak up again, but Trixie continued.

“Trixie needs a move

After Twi made her shoo

Feelin’ bad,

No better crew

But Trixie won’t lose

We’ll make her sad

Then we’ll *$#k #@%t on the F#@$%

Go for the A@! in her P$%^#

Blast her S%&@

That’s it

Fo Shizzle ma nizzle b#$%@#$%!”

Lula hit the stop button, flying up to Trixie as they crossed their front legs and went back to back, smiling at him. “So, now that you know how far we’ve gone, how about that amulet?” Trixie smiled.

Unfortunately, Curio’s face stayed blank, his mind trying to comprehend what just happened in front of him. “Uh...sorry, mares, but it takes much more than a song and dance routine for me to just hoof over a relic such as this.”

Lula and Trixie looked at each other. “Told you it still wouldn’t work.” Lula said, poking Trixie’s nose.

Trixie sighed. “Very well then.” She reached into her coat and pulled out a bag, dropping it on the counter. Curio’s eyes widened once all the bits spilt onto the countertop, he looked up at Trixie and Lula, a smirk on their faces. With a smile spread across his face, he took hold of the dark object, asking one final question.

“Would you like it gift wrapped?”

Comments

[e520]

The image of trixie and breezy trixie doing a rap duet is adorable

[tsaukpaetra]

What if Trixie was actually cursed and doesn't realize it?
Keep going! ;)

[MrAquino]