It's Just Natural - Appleshy

by Gpizano

Crush

Crush. Ain't that a funny word? When Ah think 'bout it, something that means somethin's destruction cin also mean ya' have feelin's fer someone. Ah always wondered why a words was used fer somethin' bad n' good. Best answer Ah could come up with is like that. What ya' feel for someone cin' be so strong that yet crushed un'er the weight o' it, in a good way mind. N' if'n they dun' return yer' feelings well... then yer crushed in the bad way.

Shoot Ah'm ramblin' aren't Ah?

Ah guess what brought all this up, me thinkin' 'bout the word crush n' all, is on account Ah been thinkin' 'bout that day we met. It'd been 'bout a month since Ah came back to the farm from Manehattan, findin' mah destiny after Ah saw that sonic rainboom lightin' up the sky all o'er Equestria. The day was pretty ordinary, not much to remember outside a' me havin' to chase after some no good thievin' rabbits. So tunnel visioned that Ah galloped clear off the Sweet Apple Acres property n' into the trees nearby. Lost sight o' 'em but Ah was too stubborn ta' give up.

Lookin' back Ah was glad Ah didn't.

Cause that's when Ah saw you.

Sittin' by a pond, peaceful like n' happy amongst yer animal friends. Ah didn't know why Ah froze then, but lookin' back Ah realize Ah musta' thought ya' were the cutest filly Ah ever did see. N' like some kinda' fairy 'er somethin' the way ya' looked surrounded by all that nature.

Ya' almost ran off when ya' spotted me but Ah guess somehow me talkin' to ya' put you at some ease. You were such a shy thing back then, more'n now o' course. But as we talked, Ah managed to coax out the most beautiful smile from ya' that sent mah heart a skippin'. Ah remember how disappointed Ah felt when ya' had to go, but also happy when ya' told me when ya'd come back to this spot.

As we kept meetin' up, Ah started thinkin' 'bout things, imaginin' if you will. 'Bout you bein' in some trouble, pack o' timberwolves cornerin' you usually, n' how Ah'd swoop in n' fight 'em off. Or how a disaster o' some kind would come in, decimating everythin' n' everyone, leavin' me to come n' save ya'.

Ah'm kinda ashamed ta' admit that last one honestly. Cause s'such a childish thing, thinkin' e'eryone woulda' had ta' die for you ta' fall in love with me r' somethin'. Ah didn't have the highest self esteem 'bout mahself back then n' even up 'ntil mah adulthood. A farmin' earth pony with jes a basic education and a good work ethic. What could Ah possibly offer you? How could Ah possibly give such a pretty filly e'erything she deserved?

Course Ah didn't start realizin' mah issues 'til mah teens but still.

The bad part o' the crush kicked in, when 'bout a couple weeks later ya' said Cloudsdale was gettin' too far away n' ya' couldn't make trips back ta' that spot.

Ah was sad fer' a long time after our last goodbye.

But then, years later, ya' came back. Ah'd heard there was someone new comin' ta' town n' a Apple always greets their neighbors. Ah could feel mah heart soar when that cottage door opened n' Ah saw you again, feel it racin' like a rodeo pony when Ah saw that smile.

Ah wish Ah coulda' mared up n' told ya' then, but ya' know it was awhile before it all came out. Pushin' it off, not wantin' ta' risk sinkin' a friendship, then o' course Twilight came to town n' it seemed like e'ery other week we'd be busy with somethin'.

But yeah, Ah guess Ah been thinkin' 'bout the word crush n' how ya' were mah first. On account today's the anniversary ah when Ah finally confessed, n' almost e'ery memory Ah e'er had dimmed their light ta' let that moment shine the brightest, when ya' smiled n' took mah hand n' yers n' kissed me. Now that was magic, when ya' rewrote mah lifelong definition of beauty that night un'er the moon n' stars.

Ah think 'bout the time Ah woulda' destroyed the world jes so Ah could be with ya'. N' how Ah later thought Ah wasn't good 'nough for ya' or could give ya' e'erything ya' deserved. Ah did a lot a growin' up since then, N' Ah know what Ah cin' give ya' that Ah don't think no one else can.

Ah cin give ya' mah heart, a lifetime o' held breaths, a juggernaut o' thank yous, n' offerin' of Ah missed yous when e'er ya' go 'way n' come back, a lifetime o' memories Ah polish n' treasure as Ah keep 'em close to mah heart.

These 'r some a the ways Ah love you.

N' though ya' already know 'Shy, Ah gotta' say.

God damn, Ah had the biggest crush on you.

Author's Note:

If you've never heard Shane Koyczan, look him up people. His spoken word stuff is all on youtube and it's all AMAZING.

But yeah, his piece Crush was the inspiration for this.