30-A Canterlot Wedding: Suspicions
Chapter 30
Alan read the tome again for the hundredth time.
Ever since he had gotten back, Alan had been looking through the words of the Arthur. Three times now he had accessed the Third Stage, but he could not call upon it at will.
It was closely tied to emotions, Alan had learned, and the control of one was tied to the control of the other. Of course, this made the Pendragon’s words more poignant; “A man who controls his emotions, controls his blade. One who cannot control his emotions, is not a man at all.”
Now, to be perfectly fair, Alan could normally stop himself from becoming angry with little difficulty. His issue was becoming angry at nothing.
It wasn’t just anger, though, it was anger, righteous fury, and cold calculating calmness all mixed together.
And that was just the start.
Alan sighed.
“Something wrong, Alan?” Twilight asked, as she rested her head on his withers.
Alan sighed. “No...not really, I just...I just have a feeling like I should be ready for something.”
Twilight glanced over at him as he looked down at the tome.
“Do you want to spar?” she asked.
Alan blinked before looking at her. “What?”
“We haven’t sparred in a while,” Twilight answered, “we should spar.”
Alan blinked.
“Come on, let’s spar,” she said, before she began to drag him to the middle of the library floor, clearing it of the large table.
Alan blinked again, before Twilight summoned a hard mana short sword.
Alan gave an exasperated sigh before smirking.
It had been a while since they had sparred.
<<<|Ω|>>>
Spike was more than a little miffed.
There he was, at the Carousel Boutique...enjoying...Rarity’s company, and all of a sudden he gets a mouthful of scroll.
And Rarity also got half a mouthful of scroll.
She was also a little miffed at the Princess’ sense of timing, but she had opted to try and get the taste of parchment and ink out of her mouth rather than ranting, leaving Spike to go find the lavender unicorn who raised him.
Who else would be getting a letter via emerald dragon fire?
So Spike walked, on all four legs, towards the library. It had taken him a while to get used to walking on all fours, but it was a necessity if he didn’t want to bump his head on every door frame he went through.
Before long, he came up to the Library door and swung it open.
He blinked.
In the center of the library floor were two unicorns. Above them, two hard mana swords were locked in combat; the unicorns themselves, however, seemed to be fencing with their tongues.
Spike cleared his throat.
The two broke their kiss, and looked over at Spike.
Spike stared back.
“Can I help you?” Alan asked.
Spike raised an eyebrow. “Letter for one Twilight Sparkle,” he said, holding the scroll up.
The letter was ripped from Spike’s claw with the sound of magic.
Twilight seemed to disappear entirely from Alan's embrace as she read the letter. “Princess Celestia cordially invites you to...” she mumbled as she skimmed.
She gasped.
“What? What is it?” Alan asked.
“This is Shining and Cadence’s wedding invitation!” she squealed.
Alan’s magic hands took the scroll from her and he read it himself. “Princess Mi Amore Cadenza? She’s Italian?”
“Bitalian is the word you’re looking for, Alan,” Twilight corrected, before taking back the scroll. “And if that’s the case, then I can understand why she went by Cadence all her life. Mi Amore Cadenza is a mouthful.”
Alan nodded. “Looks like those Italian lessons I took are finally going to pay off.”
“What now?” Twilight said, as she watched Alan head towards the stairs.
“There was a video game,” Alan explained, as he walked into his room “and the setting was like 17th Century Italy. For some odd reason, I decided I would play the whole game in Italian with English subtitles, and as a result, I decided to learn some Italian. Ah! Here it is!” he said before emerging from his room. Spike and Twilight watched in fascination as he descended the stairs, an unfamiliar sword and scabbard in his magical grasp.
“What’s that?” Spike asked.
“Shining’s wedding gift,” Alan said, before drawing the sword.
The pattern-welded metal gleamed in the sunlight that filtered through the library’s windows. The bright silver swirls and whorls in the blade resembled wood grain against the darker metal of the blade. The bright, silver handle burned gold in the morning sun, and the large, perfectly round ruby at the center of the cross hilt flickered as though it were flame.
“A sword?” Spike asked.
“Yes!” Alan said with a pleased smile before sheathing the blade. “There are numerous wedding ceremonies and such on Earth, and one of them is the presentation of the sword. It’s a big ‘protector of the household’ deal, and I think that it would do alright for Shining to have a sword. He does alright with shields and all, but it can’t hurt.”
"When did you get it?" Spike asked as he held out a claw, silently asking to hold it.
"About a month ago," Alan answered as he handed the sword over. "Twi told me about Shining getting hitched, and thought I might as well."
Spike drew the blade slightly, checking the temper of the new sword. "Nice, how'd you get the sword to look like this?"
"Well, I had the armorers back in Canterlot do it for me. It's a lot like Damascus Steel, but that probably means nothing to you. I just kinda explained it to them and they put it together."
Twilight rolled her eyes and shook her head at the two of them as they looked the blade over. “Boys and their swords,” she muttered, before suddenly realizing that her sentence had more meanings than she wanted.
Both males looked at her.
“Y-You know what I mean!” she said, trying to hide the blush on her cheeks.
<<<|Ω|>>>
Eleven ponies stepped onto the deck of the Victory. The Princess had requested the presence of Twilight’s friends for their unique services, and they were rather eager to go. The other five ponies were Alan, Thunderlane, Big Mac, Silver Pauldrons, and Soarin.
“Why are we coming again?” Soarin asked.
“Because I don’t care how many times Shining says no; he’s having some groomsmen,” Alan explained.
“He didn’t want groomsmen?” Spike asked as he followed the stallions on board.
“No. He said something about wanting it to be a small wedding,” Alan said, “and then I pointed out he’s getting married in front of all of Canterlot. Then he sort of spaced out for a second,” Alan continued, “but anyway, I told him he was going to have some groomsmen, and I wasn’t taking no for an answer.”
“So why are we coming again?” Soarin asked.
“Because the Pendragon is the Commander in Chief of the Equestrian Armed Forces,” Silver deadpanned, almost reciting the words, “and we all are technically soldiers.”
“Eeyup!” Alan said with a smile. “Besides, you’re the only stallions I really know.”
Thunderlane voice dripped with sarcasm. “I feel so honored.”
“Yeah, yeah, yeah, shut it,” Alan answered as he took the helm.
Big Mac watched them silently.
“So, Al,” Spike called, as the engines hummed to life, “how’s that shouting thing of yours coming?”
“Better,” the unicorn answered. “I can actually get a word out without destroying my vocal chords, now. It’s a nice improvement, but I’m not risking two words for a while.”
Conversation was light during the trip. The males kept to themselves, passing a word or two to each other, while the ladies were bustling about attending to this, that, and the other. There was just so much for them to talk about—weddings, dress designs, the songbird choir, the food...so much to cover in so little time.
“So, did the harvest go well?” Soarin asked the draft pony.
“Eeyup.”
“Good. Pinkie’s counting on that shipment of apples to come through.”
And that was about the extent of the stallions’ discussion.
As Alan took his ship up, heading straight for the castle, Silver watched as the ladies began to babble like the stream near the farm.
“Mares,” he mumbled under his breath.
<<<|Ω|>>>
“That’s odd,” Alan said as his stared at Canterlot.
The Horn of Canterlot, considered by many to be the very center of the world, stood tall and proud before them. The snow-capped, jagged peak stabbed at the sky like a giant, serrated knife.
All in all, its bare rock face glared down at the world like an imposing giant.
An imposing giant with a large, purple pimple.
Canterlot Castle was encased in a perfect, violet sphere, the color of which matched Shining’s magick perfectly.
“That’s not a good sign, is what that is,” Twilight noted.
Alan nodded. “Silver,” he called.
“Yes, sir?”
“Get below deck. I have a small weapons stash down there.”
“Sir, yes, sir!” he said before disappearing below deck.
“Thunderlane, Soarin, are you familiar with spears?” Alan asked.
“Familiar enough,” Soarin answered. “What’s happening?”
“Hopefully nothing,” the Pendragon answered. “Spike?”
The dragon answered by hefting himself to his hind legs and brandishing his claws.
“Big Mac?”
“Eeyup,” came the simple reply as the draft pony rolled his neck.
Silver came back up on deck with a handful of weapons on his back. The pegasus stallions quickly grabbed the two spears, while Silver took a mace.
Rarity, taking a cue, took up a saber, followed by Pinkie snagging a sword of her own. Applejack and Rainbow Dash didn’t take anything, but merely tensed, deciding to follow Big Mac’s lead. Twilight, meanwhile, formed a short sword of lavender mana.
As they approached, the shield suddenly rippled, and a hole just large enough for the airship opened.
The Victory passed through without a scratch, and a gold-clad pegasus flew up to the railing. “Sir! Permission to come aboard, sir!” he called.
“Granted,” Alan said. “What’s going on here, solider?”
“Sir!” the pegasus said as he landed on the deck. “Princess Celestia received news of a threat against Canterlot. As of right now, we have no news of who is behind the attack, but she is not taking any chances. Captain Shining Armor is currently holding the shield now.”
“Shining? Why’s he holding the shield? He’s got the wedding to think about.”
“Sir! He says he’s the only one who can hold it, sir!”
Alan groaned, before thumping his head into the helm. “Of course he does.” He sighed before turning to the pegasus. “Lead us to a cleared dock, please.”
“Sir! Yes, sir!” the pegasus answered before taking off.
Alan grumbled as he followed the guard, piloting his flying yacht to the docks, and landing with little difficulty.
“Go ahead and take the weapons, boys. Something tells me we might need them.”
“Yes sir,” Thunderlane replied, before holding the spear up in the typical guard stance.
“I wouldn’t worry about it too much,” said a voice from the starboard side.
Alan peeked over the edge. “Shining! There you are!”
The Captain of the Guard stood on the dock, looking up at the yacht.
As the gangplank was lowered, Alan was the first off the boat, shouting congratulations as he embraced his friend. “There’s the lucky dog!” he cried.
“Hey, Alan. Hey, Twily. Everypony. Hope you didn’t have any problems getting through.”
“The hole was just the right size, Shiny,” Twilight said, coming up to hug her brother.
“Glad to hear, it was a little hard to judge the size from here,” he explained.
“Hey, Shining, you okay? You look a little beat,” Alan noted.
It was true, now that Twilight thought about it. He had bags under his eyes, and his mane was just slightly messier than usual. Actually, even his eyes looked dull, and she could swear he looked thinner.
“Yeah,” her brother answered. “Yeah, I’m fine. It’s just, between the wedding planning and the shield up there, I’m just feeling a little drained.”
Alan nodded before a smile crept on his lips. “Well, I think I may have a solution to that problem. Let me introduce to you, your groomsmen.”
The stallions came forward, holding their weapons behind them so they would be as out of the way as possible.
Shining scowled. “I said no groomsmen,” he seethed.
“And, I’m saying ‘Pendragon’s Orders’ captain,” Alan answered. “Besides, they’ll be a massive relief to you. From now on, they are also going to act as your wedding committee, so you can focus on that,” he said, point to the purple shield.
Shining face turned into a pained smile. “But...but I...” He sighed. “Fine. You win this one, sir,” he said before wincing. “Ow.”
“You okay?” Alan asked.
“Yeah,” Shining said, bringing a hoof to his head, “just headaches. From that, you know?”
Alan shook his head. “That settles it, the guys are taking over your decisions. You are going to relax up until the wedding.”
“But I—”
“No buts,” Twilight agreed, as she began leading Shining away. “You need to get as much off your mind as possible.”
“Girls,” Alan said, as he began to lead the captain away, “lead the guys to the castle, and get to work. We’ll take care of this guy.”
“Very well; come on, Darlings, this way!” Rarity said as she stepped forward.
As the party split, Alan and Twilight led Shining up to a nearby plaza.
“Where is the lucky lady, Shining?”
The groom-to-be brightened a touch at the mention of his beloved. “Oh, she’s around here somewhere. Probably telling somepony about what she wants; you know how mares can be.”
“Ahem,” Twilight cleared her throat.
“He said it, not me,” Alan pointed out quickly.
“Right, well anyway, I’m very glad you guys could make it. I have special plans for you two.”
“Yeah?”
“Oh, you better believe it,” Shining said with a smirk. “Ever heard of the Lead Stallion?”
“No, can’t say I have,” Alan admitted.
“Well, I’ll spare you the history lesson; I’m sure Twily will fill you in later. But essentially, as we leave the chapel, you get to bless us on the way out. It’s a little outdated, but I figure you’re the best stallion for the job.”
“So it’s kind of like best man?” Alan asked.
Shining and Twilight blinked, before sharing a look.
“What?” Alan asked.
“The guy gets that part?” Twilight asked.
Alan blinked.
“It’s the best mare in Equestria, Al,” Shining said, trying to hold back a laugh. “And speaking of best mare...” he said before turning to his sister.
Twilight looked at him.
Blinked.
And gave a face-splitting smile that Pinkie would be proud of. “No!” she said, amazement in her voice. “No, you don’t mean me, do you?”
Shining smirked. “Who else?”
Twilight squealed, and began to bounce around, again very Pinkie-esque.
“Oh!” Shining said, his head turned to the side. “There she is now.”
Before them stood, much to Alan’s surprise, an alicorn. The mare had bright pink fur and purple tipped wings, and large, deep amethyst eyes. On top of a purple, pink, and pale yellow mane sat an almost comical tiara, decorated with deep purple gems. Around her neck hung an unadorned, harness-like necklace. Her hooves were clad in golden shoes, which came up her fetlocks in a swooping design. A crystalline heart sat on her flanks, as befitted the Princess of Love.
The scowl on her face, however, did not.
“Cadence!” Twilight cried, shooting forward, before reciting the strangest playground rhyme Alan had ever seen, complete with motions. “Sunshine, Sunshine! Ladybugs awake! Clap your hooves and do a little shake!” Twilight sang, sticking her rump into the air as she finished the last line.
Silence.
“What are you doing?” Cadence asked.
Twilight blinked, before righting herself. “Cadence,” she said, sounding a little hurt, “it’s me, Twilight!”
“Uh huh,” she responded, sounding not at all happy.
“Principessa Mi Amore!” Alan said with a bow. “Mio nome è Alan Goldenhoof, Pendragon di Equestria. L’onore è mio.”
Cadence blinked. “Well...thank you...but...please, just use Equestrian. When in Gryphus, do as the griffons do, after all.”
Alan smiled. “Bene. Come si desidera.”
“Right,” she said, smiling an overly-wide smile.
“I, uh, hope you don’t mind, Princess,” Alan said, “however, I’ve had Shining’s groomsmen take over for any of his decisions, for the wedding. I’d figure it’d be best considering he’s keeping us safe right now.”
“Groomsmen?” Cadence asked before her eyes fell on her fiance. “I thought we agreed not to have groomsmen?”
Shining winced as another headache hit him.
“It’s not his choice, anymore, Princess,” Alan said.
Her eyes snapped towards the Pendragon.
“As of right now, we are under a national threat. The groomsmen are going to be doubling as a security detail until further notice. My orders. Speaking of, why didn’t you tell me about this threat, Shining?”
“Didn’t you get the letter?” he asked, rubbing his temples. “I thought I sent that. Didn’t I?”
“It’s on your desk, dear,” Cadence said.
“It is? Sorry. It’s just these headaches...”
Alan sighed. “Alright, just, try to keep it together, Shining.”
“Yes, sir,” he said, saluting.
“Go ahead, and get some rest. Don’t worry about anything else, except keeping the shield up. We’ll take care of the rest.”
“Thank you, sir,” he said, before the two ponies walked away, leaving Alan and Twilight alone.
“Did...” Twilight began.
“What?”
“Did Cadence seem...off to you?”
“No. Why?”
Twilight’s eyes narrowed. “No reason.”
<<<|Ω|>>>
Thunderlane spun his spear yet again. He didn't really have much to do, in all honesty. It was either this, or stand around with the others and discuss whether or not Shining would have wanted the blue or the purple tablecloths. None of the others seemed as bored as he had been, and in the biggest eyebrow-raising situation, Big Macintosh had even pointed out that the blue went better for both Shining and Cadence, as it complimented the colors well.
This had brought on stares from the other stallions, before the draft pony shrugged it off.
And so, eager to stay out of another situation like the last, Thunderlane had quickly found Rainbow Dash and was sticking to her like glue.
"Why are you here and not helping the other stallions?" she asked.
"I am helping," Thunderlane answered. "I'm being your bodyguard."
Dash sent him a smirk. "Are you saying I can't handle myself?"
Thunderlane blinked as he looked at her, warning bells going off in his head. "Uh...no?"
"Smooth, Thunderlane. Smooth."
The pegasus mumbled under his breath.
"What was that?" she asked.
Deciding that repeating what he actually said would be detrimental to his health, Thunderlane asked "So what was with Twilight earlier? What did she want to talk to you about?"
"Oh, she's just a little tense," Dash replied. "When is the egghead not, right?"
Thunderlane raised an eyebrow. "You sure?"
"Yeah. It's cool. She just thinks that the Princess is being rude, and you know, she may be. But it's her wedding. She's probably more tense than Twi is. I mean, she's been practically in charge of the whole wedding until you guys started helping, she's probably feeling it more than anypony."
"So you're sure then?"
"Yeah, Twi's just worrying to much, it happens."
<<<|Ω|>>>
Twilight wasn’t entirely in the know.
She would gladly admit that. But she was a scientist, and scientists were allowed to make hypotheses. Her current hypothesis was that there was something terribly, terribly wrong with Cadence.
Firstly, in her previous correspondence, she had appeared warm and appealing. She even signed off with their little childhood rhyme. However, upon meeting her, she acted as though they had never even met.
Secondly, she knew for a fact that Shining could keep a shield like that up for days at a time without rest, so unless this shield had been up for weeks, something had been tiring her brother.
Finally, the letter from Cadence made her seem as kind and jovial as she remembered, but the way she acted now seemed to contradict that entirely. First, she tossed Applejack’s fritters, which she had been working on for the past four hours. Then she practically insulted Rarity’s dresses, all four of them. Thirdly, she called Pinkie’s reception a six-year-old’s birthday party.
Of course the board game didn’t really help...
Nonetheless it was just plain rude of her! And the Cadence she knew would never have acted like that.
Her friends called it nerves, but Twilight wasn’t convinced. Something was up.
There had to be.
Alan had been called away by the Princess, and was having the guards go through some basic exercises at the moment, and so Twilight was left to her own devices.
And what devices she had.
Her suspicion was thoroughly aroused, and as a scientist, she would get to the bottom of it, or die trying.
Well...hopefully not die trying...
It had taken a while, but she had found a navy blue hoodie and some navy blue sweatpants—not necessarily the best stealth equipment, but the best she could do as of right now.
Her quarry was down on the street, slowly making her way towards what Twilight could only guess were her apartments.
The unicorn moved with grace, jumping from rooftop to rooftop as she tried to follow the suspicious alicorn.
Now that she thought about it, she really needed a stealth suit. This hoodie provided too much drag, and rustled as she moved.
Cadence disappeared into the building, and Twilight quickly pulled out a set of binoculars. There they were, her brother and that...thing...together in the same room.
He seemed to be adjusting something on his formal attire, his face focused as his horn glowed softly.
Cadence walked in, and began to say something.
Shining argued for a second before he brought a hoof to his head, and fell to the floor.
Cadence smiled.
A flash of green.
Shining went wall-eyed as a beam of acidic green magick encased his head.
Twilight looked up from her binoculars, eyes wide.
She knew it.
<<<|Ω|>>>
“I telling you, Alan, I know what I saw!” Twilight yelled.
“I’m not saying you didn’t, but calm down Twi,” Alan said.
They both stood in his Canterlot office, the one with the large horseshoe-shaped table.
“This proves it!” she all but shouted. “She’s evil! And something needs to be done!”
“Twilight, hang on!”
“You need to arrest her now!”
“I’m not going to!” Alan yelled.
Twilight looked at him. “Excuse me?”
Alan sighed. “You gave me one eye witness report about one situation that might have been taken out of context. In fact, there’s a good chance of that happening, what with the world running on comedy and all...anyway, Twi. I’m not going to do anything because you don’t have any proof right now.”
“So you don’t believe me?” she asked, anger rising in her voice.
“I never said that,” Alan defended. “I just need proof before I potentially ruin my life arresting a Princess!”
“Oh, I see how it is!” Twilight growled. “A war starts and everypony can trust you. I see a crime in progress and I’m a nutjob!”
“What crime!?” Alan said, standing behind his desk. “If living with you has taught me anything, it’s that magic does all kinds of things all kinds of ways! What if it’s nothing more than magical aspirin!? That’ll look good, won’t it! ‘Sorry Princess, but relieving headaches is against the law now!’”
“I can’t believe you’re on her side!”
“I wasn’t aware there were sides!”
“You stubborn little...Argh!” Twilight yelled, before stepping outside and slamming the door shut behind her.
Alan stood, staring at the door, before sighing.
“What a wonderful first argument...”
<<<|Ω|>>>
The wedding’s rehearsal was about to begin.
At the center of the stage stood Celestia, ready to perform the ceremony. To her left stood Alan, dressed in a tuxedo with Judgement on his back in a decorative scabbard, waiting to give the blessing.
Shining stood just across from Alan, standing in his red formal uniform, and the two unicorns shared a wink.
To Shining’s right stood the other stallions, dressed as nicely as they could be. Most of their attire had to be double checked and re-designed for fitting. Thanks to Rarity, really.
Speaking of the seamstress, Alan was surprised to see her standing on the bride’s side, along with Fluttershy, Rainbow Dash, Pinkie Pie, and Applejack, all to Cadence’s left.
“What are the girls doing over there, Shining?”
“Oh, Cadence wanted to keep—” He winced. “She wanted to reward them for their good work.”
Cadence smirked.
Alan nodded.
“Alright, are we ready to begin?” Celestia said.
Shining was halfway through nodding, when Alan said “Where’s Twilight?”
Shining blinked, suddenly noticing the empty spot next to him. “How did I miss that?” he mumbled under his breath, before another migraine hit him.
The doors suddenly slammed open, and all eyes fell on the lavender unicorn as she entered.
“I’m right here!” she yelled triumphantly.
Alan sighed. “Oh, no.”
<<<|Ω|>>>
It was going so well.
She had exposed the thing that called herself Cadence as a fraud. She had showed them all how evil she was. She had recounted the malicious spells she cast on her husband-to-be, and ran her out of the chapel in tears.
Victory of the sweetest kind.
She had done it all, she had stopped the threat, helped her friends and saved her brother.
And then he yelled at her.
He tore into her heroics, revealing all of her ‘evil’ as nothing more than mild healing spell for his headaches.
He angrily denounced her actions of valor. He demeaned her actions to selfish desire.
He told her not to come back.
And then he left.
Her friends quickly followed, not saying a word, followed by the stallions.
And then Celestia.
Celestia, her teacher, always kind, always understanding. A second mother to her. So
gentle, so merciful.
“You have a lot to think about.”
Those words slapped her.
And then...and then Alan came.
She could hear it now.
“I told you Twi. I told you to calm down, but you went and did it anyway.”
Alan looked down at her.
He would be angry with her.
Of course he would be.
He had tried to warn her, and she had thrown it back in his face.
He looked down at her.
And held her.
“I can talk to Shining if you want,” he said.
Twilight sniffed, trying to hold back tears. “You’re not mad?”
Alan gave her a soft smile. “Twilight, that’s what ‘I love you’ means. It means I’m going to stick with you, even when you mess up.”
Tears began to flow from her eyes as she looked up at him. “What did I do to deserve you?”
Alan smiled. “Something really, really awful.”
The joke got a laugh out of the mare, who sat in Alan’s forelegs, sniffing her tears away.
She finally wiped the last tear from her eyes, and Alan helped her up to her hooves. “Feeling better?”
“Yeah...” Twilight said. “I should probably go apologize to Cadence...”
“Well...” a voice said from the podium. “Now’s your chance.”
Both unicorns turned to see the pink Princess standing where Celestia had been only a few minutes ago.
The smirk on her face didn’t sit well with Alan.
“Both of you have been a thorn in my side for too long,” she said, before the ground around them burst into green fire.
The fire formed a ring around them, and they slowly began to sink into the ground.
As they fell, the last thing they heard was “I’ll see you both in Hell.”
<<<|Ω|>>>
Darkness.
Inky, pitch black darkness.
“Wish I had brought my flashlight,” Alan said, his voice echoing in the void.
With the twinkle of magic, Twilight’s horn blazed to life, and a ball of light appeared, revealing the large, crystal walls surrounding them.
Massive gems sat, buried in the ground, each one making a many-faceted room, an irregular polygon with hundreds of mirror-like walls.
“Well...” Alan said finally. “The plus side to ‘I love you’ is that there’s always the off chance you’re right.”
Twilight ignored the comment. “Where are we?”
“Deep beneath Canterlot,” a familiar voice said. Both unicorns turned to see the face of Princess Cadence in the facet of one of the crystals. “This was a prison once, reserved for only the worst of your kind. No one remembers it now, not even the Princesses, I’d imagine.” The face of the alicorn gave a twisted, evil smile. “An excellent tomb for you two.”
Twilight growled, before firing a bolt at the crystal.
The beam of magic ricocheted off the mirror wall, and in a second, the room became a death trap. Twilight’s beam flew through the air, bouncing off the walls and coming dangerously close to hitting them.
“Ah!” Alan yelled, as the beam passed him before hitting the ground. His hoof came up to his shoulder.
“Alan!” Twilight cried. “Are you okay?”
Aln hissed out a breath. “Good grief, Twi. That one could’ve killed,” he said as he checked the wound. A small chunk of flesh had been scraped of his shoulder, leaving a cauterized scratch that smoked and smelled of burnt fur.
“Are you—”
“It’s just a scratch, I’ll be fine.”
“Fine for how long?” the alicorn’s face taunted. “A few days, a week maybe? How long before you need to eat, hm?”
“You’ll be eating steel when I get out of here!” Alan yelled.
Cadence chuckled darkly. The laugh echoing against the walls in the shadows beyond Twilight’s light. “If you get out,” she said with a smirk, before her face faded from view, leaving the unicorns alone.
“Great...” Alan mumbled before drawing his sword. “Now all we need to do is get out of here...”
“Easier said than done,” Twilight said. “You noticed how my magic reacted upon contact?”
“Yes,” Alan deadpanned. “I got hit.”
Twilight didn’t notice his statement. “Well, that’s a sign of warding, and considering crystals have a natural mana attunement, storage, and magnification properties, I don’t think it’s even possible to teleport out of here.”
“So, to review. We here, stuck in a labyrinth of crystal, which doubles as a maze of mirrors, to which we aren’t sure there is an actual exit, while the Princess is trying to take over or something similar.”
“Sounds about right.”
“Awesome, let’s start walking,” Alan grumbled before he began to trot to one end of the room, when he suddenly realized they were caught in a dome.
Twilight voiced both of their thoughts. “Walk where?”
Alan merely stared at the wall of gem in front of him.
“Alan?”
“...Buck...”
Alan sheathed his blade. “This has made things difficult...”
Dink, dink, dink.
“Do you hear that?” Alan asked as his ears twitched.
Twilight stopped to listen.
Dink, dink, dink.
“What is that?” Twilight asked.
“Search for the source.”
Dink, dink, dink.
The two quickly began searching the walls, pressing their ears against the crystalline walls for the source.
Dink, dink, dink.
“Here!” Twilight cried.
Alan quickly crossed the room to see Twilight in front of a single gem. Her ear was pressed against it, and Alan thought he could see a faint form on the other side.
Dink, dink, dink.
Alan gave the gem a once over, a smaller piece in the patchwork walls and ceiling. This single stone looked like it was separated from the others. In fact, it could be loose.
To test his theory, he threw his weight into gem.
It shuddered.
“Twi, a little help?” he asked.
WIth both unicorns throwing their weight into the stone, it began to give much faster. In three strong pushes, the stone fell flat.
What awaited them on the other side, however, was not what they were expecting.
There, before them, sat Cadence, but not as they remembered. The dress she wore was dirty and ripped, her crown and shoes looked scuffed and dented. Her mane was messy, and ruffled in ways that a lesser Princess would die from.
But most important were her eyes.
In her amethyst eyes was a light of hope, and relief.
Which was almost instantly squashed as Twilight picked her up in a magical grip.
“What did you do with Shining!?” she asked, before the princess was suddenly pinned to another wall.
“Twilight! It’s me, Cadence!” the Princess cried.
“What did you do to him!?”
“Sunshine, sunshine. Ladybugs awake,” Cadence recited weakly.
Twilight paused.
“Clap your hooves and do a little shake,” the Princess finished.
Twilight hesitated a second longer.
“It’s me, Twilight, it’s really me...”
“Are you implying that the Cadence that sent us down here isn’t really Cadence?” Alan asked, drawing Judgement again.
“She’s a changeling,” Cadence said. “I don’t know what exactly she wants. She just took my form and threw me down here, it’s been days since I last ate, please, Twilight, it’s me.”
Alan looked over at the lavender unicorn. “Do you believe her?”
Twilight hesitated. “I think so...”
Alan’s eyes shifted between the two. “Principessa Mi Amore, uno momento, per favore.”
Cadence blinked. “Parli Bitaliano?”
“Sì. Beh, io conos...co un poco. Che non è importante, tutta...via. Ciò che è importante, è che si parli bitaliano. Non credo che ah...impostor tuo fa.”
“Ah...I see. And it's impostore."
Twilight blinked as she looked between them. “Okay...”
“She’s at least legitimate enough to know more Bitalian than I do,” Alan said.
Twilight blinked, before turning to the alicorn. “What did you call love in that letter you wrote to me?”
Cadence gave a weak smile. “A choice.”
Twilight slowly let the alicorn down.
Once free, the alicorn smiled, before giving Twilight a hug. “It’s good to see you again, Twilight.”
“It’s good to see you too, Cadence.”
As soon as they broke the embrace, Alan stepped forward, and took a golden shod hoof. “Principessa,” Alan said. “Mio nome è Alan Goldenhoof, Pendragon di Equestria. L’onore è mio.”
“Ed è il mio piacere,” she answered.
Cadence smiled, before she stopped. She looked over at Twilight. “Is this the stallion you wrote to me about?”
Twilight’s eyes suddenly took interest in the floor as she twiddled her hoof. “Yes...” she answered.
Cadence smiled. “Well, I can see why you took an interest.”
Twilight blushed.
“As for you,” she said, turning to Alan, “I would say something along the lines of you break her heart, I’ll break your face, but something tells me you wouldn’t dream of it.”
Alan smiled. “I’m glad you think so, otherwise I’d have to say something along the lines of get in line.”
“Oh really?” Cadence said, smiling.
“Yeah, remind me to tell you the story some time, right now though, we have a wedding to crash.”
--------------------------------
And Chapter.
Next time, Part 2! Complete with Changeling butt kicking!
“That’s it? You aren’t going to make the D&D joke about changelings?”
What? You mean the one where Alan says he feels like he’s stuck in a D&D campaign?
“Yeah! I liked that joke.”
You liked that one? And boo-ed with the Amazon shipping joke?
“Well somepony has to keep your ego in check.”
That’s why I have the other Main Six around. Say ‘Hi’ everypony!
And that’s enough of that.
“...What did I just see?”
It’s okay, Pinkie, their just mental constructs of my imagination. They don’t have feelings.
Well...unless I give them feelings...
But I think we should go before we get into a very interesting debate.
“Sounds iffy to me, but okay! Bye everypony!”
Bye, and see you next time.
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Dat pic
I've been waiting for this >:3 Let's see what Alan would do to the Changelings...
Set them free once you're done with this, OK? ;)
Oh boy! I can't wait for the next chapter! as much as I'd hate to ask, if I have already done so, Can I make a request of my OC making an appearance?
2677900
I don't normally do that kind of thing.
It's not because I'm some sort of jerk or anything, I just don't like messing with other people's vision.
2677919 I can understand that, but, Mine's mostly simple. I can explain via PM if you wish.
ok. so now it be time for said shit to hit said fan.
Celestia: accidental cockblocker or is she?
I can't wait for the next chapter, I wanna see ol' big red wreck some changelings
...and Thunderlane and Dash destroying them with kung-fu and Alan and Twilight ripping them apart and... well everything to do with kicking some poor unknowing changeling flank. Do you think the guard could, ya know, actually be competent?
Good God the pacing in this chapter was like a hungry roid-raging cheetah with rocket boosters.
weknowmemes.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/02/italian-speaking-mode-on-meme.jpg
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I feel like the cleverness of your writing progresses further with each chapter.
Hahaha. Alan and Spike have dirty minds.
The whole chapter... MAGNIFICENT!
...so it appears Twilight is a bit more prepard for the Invasion in this realm!
What will be different this time, I wonder....?
And in the meantime, the lens on the surface are in danger, just like in the Alan-less realm.
Awaiting further releases.
I almost feel sorry for the changlings.... almost
They have no idea who there about to piss off.
2678580 Like this?
tfwiki.net/mediawiki/images2/4/48/TM2Cheetorfly.jpg
2679423
That's a little more robotic than roid-raging.
I had no idea it actually existed. But yes, something like that.
2678580 So is that a good thing?
2679627
In this case, no.
Fast pacing works better for battles or when you need to summarize backstory. In this case (and with the way things appear so far), it would have been better to take a few chapters for build up and really get into each characters' head during each of the events. Which you've done before so it took me by shock when everything was suddenly being glanced over so fast
But perhaps you have a plan and a good reason for it? I trust you but with a start like this, it could go either way.
2679646
Well...the thing here is that part 2 kinda has a plot twist that I kinda want to get to. I also didn't want to go over 6k words, again. So...yeah...besides, the main players in this one are only Al and Twi. Combine that with the fact that I wrote this fic on the assumption that everyone reading already knows what's going on and it all kind of fills in itself.
Now, yes, it is bad form to write on the assumption that your audience has seen the material you're referencing, but this is a fanfic, and in fanfics it is perfectly logical to make that assumption. Any other story that I would write wouldn't follow that logic though.
Needs more Season 2 episodes before this one, I believe...
2679985
They never happened. *insert timeline and other time travel jargon*
2679915
Indeed it is a logical decision and it's not an incorrect assumption either. However, a lot of different authors interpret everyone's inner thoughts differently. In your shoes and while making most of the same decisions, I would have made this chapter between ten and twelve thousand words. The pacing would have still been fast but the build up would be better and it wouldn't be a terribly noticeable difference to the audience. Especially considering that you've had a couple chapters of approximately that length.
Just something to consider in the future.
Get that next chapter out quick.
Ah, at last. Back to the episode style of things... personally I think you've done your best stuff in this form. You do well with slice of life stuff.
Alright, well good job with the overall chapter and now for me to pick out what I feel needs a little tweaking.
The first thing that comes to mind is... wait when did Alan get the sword? This very well could just be me forgetting some earlier stuff that happened but I don't remember if Shining Armor talked to Alan about getting married or not anytime soon, or when Alan got the sword. I think a gentle reminder in the form of some dialogue wouldn't be amiss.
You had Alan arming his men and then Shining Armor said,
but then make no reference to what's going on with the weapons after that point. I'm not sure if Alan's going in with weapons or if they're left in the stash.
I guess the next thing I want to point out is Alan's use of Italian... now I'm fine with Alan knowing some basic stuff. Especially since you've established that Alan loved Assassin's Creed 2 which sparked his interested in Italian. However, what I do think is rather off is how it seems/feels like Alan is fluent in Italian all of a sudden. For example this:
Not sure how basic this is or how difficult it would be, but it reads fluently... which kinda feels like an issue/prob to me.
Up until this point we've had no hints that Alan loves to study different languages or really anything else to suggest that he'd be fluent in any language beside English... err Equestrian. I'm guessing you weren't thinking "he's completely fluent in Italian!" but that's just how it reads when speaks it. To make it less so... I guess try and think how would a non-fluent person speak? Ummm... actually that's a good question...
Right, well thinking about this right now and speaking Spanish I'd say when I speak it much slower than a fluent person, I likely screw up on pronunciation a bit, I stumble, and I have to stop and think about what I'm saying...
Este soy yo escribir y hablar con fluidez en español. Ver lo bien que fluye, y cómo se lee como verdadero español?
This is me writing and speaking fluetently in spanish. See how smoothly it flows, and how it reads like real spanish?
Now if I wanted to write it out like I'd actually say it I'd want to write it something more like this:
Ummm... este soy you escribir y hablo? ...hablar con... uhmm... con flie-fluidez en español. ¿Ver bein... Ver lo bein que... que flieyie... que fluye, y cómo se... uh... se lee como verdad-ero español?
Or something like that. But, I also think something that would be key/helpful would be descriptions of Alan speaking the Italian. How does he speak it? That could be a big help in tuning it down from "speak fluently" to "sorta knows some stuff."
The next thing I want to ask is... when did Alan bring Judgment with him? I just know that one moment he and Twilight were facing the real Cadance and the next thing I know is that in their "questioning" of Cadance Alan suddenly had Judgement out... also I felt it was a bit much for Alan to have Judgment out and being bared on Cadance. I didn't feel like there was enough of an emotional reason/response from Alan that warranted him doing that. I know that those emotions are there, but we're not really seeing too many of them.
Oh, and the pacing is just... well shot outa a cannon. xD Just something to think about for future chapters!
Right, I think those cover the ones that stick out to me. Nice work... oh and I'm SOOO glad that the humor is back in this. I laughed again when reading this story, and it was nice to have that back xD
~Treil
2681089
Hm...I think I may be able to fix a couple of problems here. As The BBofC pointed out, this chapter was a little fast-paced...and really...I think I can fix one of your issues as well as his with another paragraph or two wedged in there...
As for the Italian, excellent point, didn't really occur to me to add the pauses and whatnot.
The rest seem to be minor details I forgot to mention. Oops.
2681123 Hey they happen. And well that's why you've got me here!'
Though another way to help you with making Alan sound less then fluent is by trying to keep sentences simple. Though that would probably be more of use to people who know some Italian.
>>>It wasn’t just anger, though, it was anger, righteous fury, and cold calculating calmness all mixed together. >>
I've been doing that for years!
I AM TEH ULTIMATE WARRIOR!!
Next chapter:
U GUNNA GET FOCKED OP MATE!!!
I'm seriously loving this story so much.
*climbs to the top of the tallest object I can find*
*puts on stilts*
*clears throat*
*breathes in*
I BUCKING LOVE THIS STORY!
two days......two solid days of reading this story......i didnt go out side, i barely ate, i didnt call my girl friend (shes out camping with family anyway) i didnt go to work (vacation), i didnt get on my damn xbox or anything......all i did was read this story..and you know what...
I SAID DO YOU KNOW WHAT MOTHER BUCKER
So worth it
Thinking about songbirds on an airship...
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i shall admit... this is one of the best bucking HiE stories i have ever read
i only found this story a few days ago 
...
i have no life
Why didn't Alan speak gibberish to Cadence or call her bad name to test her knowledge of Bitalian before the recital?
Be sure to have Luna doing something funny.
Celestia, blocking romance one day at a time. With Scrolls!
The fact that you've included a song I'm quite fond of (Namely "Drunken Sailor") and this is something I'd actually pay to have a hard copy of (da feel of them books
) only makes me want even more of this epicness.
...NEED MOAR!!!!!
2714487
Yeah, sorry about that. You're not the first to go, and nor do I think you'll be the last. All I can ask is that you give it a try, though.
2715430
Does that make me an admiral?
I did it! IT only took about a week, but I did it! I read from Ch.1 to here!
2724291 Yes, at least someone who now what he is doing :P
2724271
I get so weary of going over that issue.
REASONS POPULATION GROWTH IS NOT A REAL PROBLEM:
1) Overpopulation is a theory repeatedly falsified by observation.... it is a scarecrow, and the so-called scholarly experts who prop up the scare have been doing so since the ancient greeks, and they have been hilariously wrong in ever prediction they have ever made. Before I call a problem a problem, I'd like to hear from an expert on the problem who hasn't been WRONG every single time he's opened his gob.
2)... And the implemented solution is a disaster. Population control is, always, inescapably, a tyrannical act, a monstrous act of coercion and a violation of human rights. And it inescapably has 'unintended consequences.' Look at China; the government mandated one-child-per-couple law has resulted in a desperate dearth of females... as Chinese women by the millions chose to abort baby girls and keep baby boys. The Chinese came within a hair of "zero popping" themselves out of existence. Zero pop policy means, inescapably, choosing who gets to procreate and who gets to die out. The word for this is eugenics, and it's just as disgusting today as when a spittle-flecked German with a funny mustache decided to make it all the rage in his homeland.
3)There is no correlation between poverty and starvation, and population. Japan has the densest population of any nation on earth, yet is a net exporter of food, while countries with the most fertile farmland in the world and less people per square mile than Kansas suffer famine all the time. Bangledesh and Fremont, California have the same number of people per square mile. Is the problem really that Bangladesh is too crowded? There have been famines caused by calamity, crisis and war, by government meddling and corruption, by tyranny and by flat out incompetence. There has never been a famine caused by population.
4)As prosperity increases, birthrates drop. This has been observed in every first world country. The first listed reason is people putting off having children till later in life, and choosing to have only one or two children. In fact it has reached crisis levels in America and much of Europe, as the birth rate has dropped below the population replacement level.
5)An immortal-- or perpetually youthful-- population would have eliminated the single largest burden on its survival capacity: senescence. How much of our GDP, of our resources financial and otherwise, are spent just on the struggle of the upkeep of our aging, sickening bodies and accommodating our calcified minds?
6)Any civilization capable of developing perpetual youth will have the capability to meet and surpass the needs of its growing population for housing, sustenance, energy, and even space. A population of seven billion could live in a cozy suburb the size of texas and arizona combined-- or a city like Manhattan Island (with all the amenities including a few hundred thousand Central Parks) in Oregon. As to food, even with our wars, tyrannical despots, and government bureaucrats who think they know more about farming than actual farmers, we still, as a species, produce more than enough food to feed our world's population twice over (getting said food to said people past said despots and bureaucrats is another matter, but that's another topic.)
We have seen what men can accomplish in a mere eighty years. Imagine what they could accomplish in eight hundred. Imagine Newton, Einstein, Buckminster Fuller, Dyson, Goddard, unburdened by age and with millennia of learning and growth behind them and untold centuries yet to come. A civilization of people with centuries of knowledge under every belt and youthful, strong healthy bodies and youthful sharp minds could have farming colonies on mars and cities on the moon.
2726065 2724271
...I don't think I made myself perfectly clear...
First off, there is nothing wrong with immortality in and of itself. Some could argue that death is better because afterlife and all that, but considering that the afterlife is mostly just immortality in a better place, then there is not much of a difference. (Although I could argue against that considering my own beliefs, but we're not here to talk religion).
The issue arises when you are the only one with immortality. Immortality alone brings up an existence completely devoid of any social activity. Let's say you are immortal, and marry, have kids, and watch both your spouse, and children grow old and die. Meanwhile, you're still here. Your family, as time goes on, will naturally get more and more distant from you just because they will naturally become less and less related to you with the dilution of the blood, eventually, everyone you know is dead, and any excersice in love would become masochistic, because you'd have to go through the pain of losing everyone again.
Secondly, and perhaps the reason why the afterlife would be superior is, say you are immortal, but get into a normally would-be fatal accident. The pain you would have to go through on a daily basis would make you want to kill yourself. Immortality does not negate pain. Say you had your throat slit, you would not be able to breath, and would bleed out. After a while, you would be unable to move (no oxygen to the muscles), and you would slowly become a retard, (no oxygen to the brain).
Celestia and Luna appreciate their coming death because they will be able to rejoin their long-lost friends in the afterlife, as well as the promise of a carefree existence.
I wouldn't mind being immortal, as long as I can take someone through eternity with me.
2720331
took me two days...I need sleep now...
Random Zero is Random...
2733923
noted and fixed.
it just took me all day to read chapter one to chapter 30
Did i mention those afterthoughts really make my day? If not, then: I freaking adore Pinkie Pie. Nuff said.
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Chrysalis doesn't know Bitalian, does she?
Seems the ending pic on this chapter doesn't load.
5608513 Shame, it was funny. It might come back it's derpiborru
5608890 It say content not found... I think it was deleted