Chapter 11
“Hurry up, Twilight~” Alan said in a sing song voice.
“Shut up, Alan~” Twilight responded in the same tune.
The human chuckled, buttoning his suit jacket. This was it, the Best Night Ever, where Twilight would speak with the Princess for hours on end, Applejack would make a fortune selling apple pastries, Pinkie would be a part of the biggest party of the year, Fluttershy would spend the night making friends with the animals, Rainbow Dash would be hanging with the Wonderbolts, and Rarity would meet the love of her life.
Oh, they had no idea.
“Come on, Twi, we’re all waiting on ya,” Applejack complained.
“Just finishing up.”
Rainbow Dash rolled her eyes, “Honestly, I thought Rarity would be the last one out,” She mumbled.
Alan gave a low chuckle.
“Alright!” Twilight said, coming down the stairs dressed in her star-strewn gown.
“What was taking you so long?!” Rainbow Dash asked.
“Nevermind, let’s go,” Twilight said, leading them all to the transfigured apple that had become their carriage. Spike sat on the bench waiting for them with two ponies ready to pull it away, courtesy of a wink from Rarity.
Alan quickly joined the dragon, leaving the mares to get inside the apple. “Alright, Spike. Let’s go and have some fun.”
“Awesome! I have an insider’s tour of Canterlot ready for them.”
Alan gave the dragon a look. “You are going to try to give a tour to six ponies who have been waiting for this event for the past four months?” Alan shook his head, “Spike, they are going to be so busy with the party that they are even going to care. You know that right?”
“Well, Twilight said that we’d all have a chance to spend some time with each other...”
Alan took a quick look around. Seeing that everypony was in the apple he gave the two ponies ahead of them the go ahead. Taking another look around, he whispered to Spike, “Spike, nothing about this night is going to go ‘as according to plan.’ Things are going to flop, massively.”
“Hey, don’t talk like that. Tonight will be awesome, you’ll see.”
Alan sighed.
Well, at least he tried.
<<<|Ω|>>>
The magical, Gala-Night-Only transportation portals got them to the castle within minutes. Pulling up to the Castle Gate, Spike and Alan both hopped down from their bench, and let the Mane Six out of their carriage.
As they stepped out, each dressed in the most marvelous dresses seen by pony kind, Alan took a step back as he usually did, and smiled as they began their song.
Oh they had no idea...
Celestia will be busy, Applejack won’t be able to compete with the free buffet, Pinkie will be too wild for a waltz, the animals would be afraid of Fluttershy, the Wonderbolts will be drawn away, and Blueblood would be the biggest jerk in Equestrian history.
Fireworks crashed in the sky, exploding in brilliant balls of colorful fire, promising the ponies the best night they ever had.
Just not the one they were expecting.
Alan had decided, of all of the episodes that he was going to change, he would leave this one perfectly alone. Well, almost perfectly alone. He would only really affect the end of the episode. Other than that, the girls would have no interruption from him.
As they hit their final note, they entered the castle, their faces filled with awe and excitement. Spike quickly jumped in, “Yeah, this is going to be the best night ever, and do you know why? Because we’re going to spend it—”
The girls instantly split, paying the baby dragon no mind as they rushed off to do what they wanted to do.
“To...geth...er...”
Alan sighed, “Better find something to keep you busy, Spike. That’s what I’m going to do.”
Spike hung his head “What are you going to do?” he asked, wondering if he could at least spend time with his male friend.
“I’m going to try to see the other Princess.”
“Oh,” Spike said. “Ok.”
Alan gave him a soft smile. “Hey, I’ll see ya at Donut Joe’s ok?”
“Sure,” Spike said, before getting up and walking away.
Poor kid.
“Well,” Alan thought cynically, “One disappointed character, six to go.” Alan shook the thought from his head, no need to get that depressing. Standing, Alan then headed after Twilight, who was heading straight for the Princess.
Coming to the foyer, Alan quickly spotted the giant celestial royal, and walking up the steps, greeted her and her student. “Princess Celestia, always a pleasure.”
“Sir Alan, indeed it always is, even when you call me to the frontier for peace talks,” she said with a smile, raising her hoof for a shake.
Alan gave a smirk before one-upping everyone in line by kneeling and kissing the golden shoe.
Celestia giggled, “It has been a long time since anyone has greeted me like that.”
Alan smiled, “All the more reason to do so.” He paused for a second before asking, “Princess Celestia, I cannot help but notice that your sister is not here.”
The Princess’ smile faded. “She refused my invitation,” she said. “It is nothing serious, she just said that she was not looking for sociability.”
Alan frowned at that. “That does not seem fair.”
“No, but it is her wish.”
“Perhaps...” Alan began, only to stop.
“Yes?”
“Oh, nothing, simply a thought.”
“You were thinking that perhaps you would go and convince her otherwise?”
Alan blinked, “Well, yes.”
“You were also thinking that you would simply trick me into letting you disappear and spend the night with my sister?”
“I—”
She raised a hoof to silence him, “I am far older than you know, Sir Alan, and I work in politics besides. It will take more than some well-placed flattery to pull the wool over my eyes.” She grinned. “However you did very well, I must say.” Turning to a nearby guard, she said, “Lieutenant, please escort Sir Alan to Luna’s room, I’m sure she would enjoy his company tonight.”
“Yes, Your Majesty.” The familiar guard answered.
Alan smiled, “You can’t blame a guy for trying, right? Have a nice night, both of you.”
“Thank you, Sir Alan, and may you have the same.”
As the human and guard walked away, the Lieutenant nudged him, “If it makes you feel better I didn’t see it coming.”
Alan chuckled, “Well, It was a long shot,” he said. “So how are things going, Silver?”
“Alright. I’ve heard that granola bars are going to be passed for morning rations.”
“Nice,” Alan replied. “Anything else exciting happen?”
“Well, the day you called for the Princess, she...well, she didn’t tell us that she was going anywhere.”
“Oh yeah?” Alan snickered.
“Yeah, that morning was hectic. Fun, but hectic.”
As the two walked up into the deeper places of the castle, a pair of ponies watched them.
“Mr. Alan seems to have been busy,” the brown earth pony said, dressed in a tweed jacket and red bow tie.
“Alright,” The wall-eyed grey pegasus next to him wearing a brown dress, that were you to squint, looked exactly like a muffin, turned to him, “explain what exactly he’s doing here.”
“Alan is using his previous knowledge to alter the timeline in a favorable manner.”
“Isn’t that dangerous though?” Derpy asked. “Isn’t that why you’ve told me unsupervised time travel is one of the most dangerous things?”
“Under normal circumstances, yes, it is very dangerous. However, in those cases, it's always when the traveler comes in under his own actions. You see, Miss Do, if a traveler faces an event, the one he wants to change, we’ll call it point A, the traveler then faces the consequences of that action, point B, and then gets a time machine, and goes back in time, point C. At point C, he returns to the past and changes point A. However, point B must happen for point C to happen, and point C must happen for point A to change.”
Derpy lost him for a second, and quickly activated her nod whenever he stops for breath protocol.
“The Past is perfectly hardwired to never change, regardless of how much a traveler wants it to. However, if a traveler has been pulled by an outside force from his timeline to a different time, then he can in fact change it, because point C will happen regardless. Therefore, instead of trapping himself in non-time, Alan can charge whatever he wants with no other consequences than the ones that will fall on him.” The Doctor smiled. “It’s funny, really, those who do not seek to change the past, change it the most.”
“Doctor—”
“Time Turner, Miss Do,” He corrected. “We are in public.”
“Yes, Turner, that’s what I said. I think that I would very much like to enjoy this party before it is all used up in talk of time travel.”
The Doctor smiled, “Well then, allons-y, Mademoiselle Derpy.”
<<<|Ω|>>>
Silver gave the two Nightguard a nod, which was returned, before the Lieutenant gave the door a good, solid knock.
“I’m not coming down!” a voice said behind the door. “And nothing you can say will make me come down!”
Alan spoke through the door, “What? Never! I wouldn’t invite you to the disaster that’s going to happen.”
The door opened, and Luna, her mane now seeming like the night sky itself, flowing in an intangible wind, spoke, “Oh, Sir Alan, forgive us, we thought thou was’t our sister.”
“No, just me,” Alan said, leading to a sudden awkward silence.
The silence was almost palpable, and it stretched on for a few uncomfortable seconds before Luna spoke again, “So thou are not here to convince us to join thee in the revelry below?”
“No, not at all. The Gala is going to end in a massive disaster, so big that I’m not even going to try to fix it.”
“Then for what reason are thee here?”
“I would actually like to spend the night with you, if you would wish it, Princess,” Alan said, giving a bow.
She paused for a second before backing out of the door, giving him entrance, “We have been wishing to talk with thee, and this time would be excellent to do so.”
Alan nodded, before giving his escort a thumbs up and a smile.
Pauldrons chuckled before heading back to the solar sister, wishing the human luck.
As Alan closed the door behind him, he turned and asked, “Princess Luna, may I ask you something?”
“Of course, Sir Alan. However, please, call us Luna.”
“Well,” Alan said. “Honestly, I would love to. However, I feel the need to be formal when you call me ‘sir’ or thee.”
Luna blinked, “Have I been calling you ‘thee’?”
Alan nodded, “You’ve been using the royal we, too.”
Luna sighed. “The Royal Canterlot Voice is a tedious habit to break, one that we...I, rather, have been having some trouble with,” she continued, correcting herself as she spoke. “We are sure...I am sure thou, you, noticed when we first met.”
“You were speaking a little loud.”
Luna nodded, closing her eyes “I cannot help it. Whenever I see a pony, or human in your case, I simply slip into the Royal Canterlot Voice. The only times it seems I can speak without it are when I am alone, or when I speak with Tia.”
She opened her eyes again, “So we, I, apologize to you.”
Alan nodded, “Oh don’t worry too much, Luna,” he said, calling her by name, “after all, habits are habits.”
She shook her head, “Thou saith, er, you say that, but I am fairly certain it will be the death of me.”
Alan smiled before taking a look at her room. It was themed with blues, blacks and trimmed with white. Her domed ceiling was decorated with white dots. Each a star in a constellation. Each constellation carefully outlined with a light blue against the midnight background. One in particular stood out to Alan, a mirror of Orion, a human figure, with a drawn sword that looked eerily familiar.
Luna followed his gaze. “Ah, yes, Orion, a favorite of mine. It is an ancient Equestrian word for Half-Dragon, Tia wanted to call it Arthur, but I preferred the ancient tongue...”
Alan blinked, “We have a constellation that looks exactly like that.”
“Really? What a coincidence, what is it named?”
“Orion.”
That one really got her attention. “The same name? It’s not Arthur is it?”
“No, it’s a man, a hunter, by the name of Orion.”
Luna brought a hoof to her chin. “Interesting, a multi-dimensional constellation,” Her eyes flickered over to him. “Any more you recognize?”
Alan nodded, “Ursa Major and Ursa Minor, Polaris, even though that’s just a star, Cassiopia, Aquarius, Pisces, Aries, Taurus, Gemini, Cancer, Leo, Virgo, Libra, Scorpio, Sagittarius, Capricorn, Canis Major, Canis Minor, and a few more I can’t remember the names of...”
Luna eyed him.
“What?” he asked.
“Did you study before coming here?”
“What?”
“Did you study my sky before coming to meet me? Are you trying to impress me?”
“What? No! Aquarius through Capricorn are the constellations that people believe are entwined with their destiny, the others are just favorites of mine.”
Luna looked at him for a long time. “Thou art serious, aren’t thou?”
Alan decided not to correct her this time around, “Yes, dead serious. Why?”
Luna straightened, looking up at her ceiling, “Most of our subjects do not even know half of the constellations thou have mentioned, and only a few have even grasped their names. How then, does thou know of them?”
“Because they are in our sky, and man has always been caught up with the sky. Astrology has roots far back, at least three thousand years, and Astronomy has even more so.”
Luna blinked, “You...humans...they always loved...” A single tear formed in her eye as a smile grew on her face. “Tell me, Alan, do you know how many planets circle your sun?”
Alan nodded, “Nine, and I mean nine, Pluto’s still a planet as far as I’m concerned.”
Luna’s smile grew bigger. “Follow me, I have something to show you.”
Leading him to a side of the room, Luna took Alan up a spiral staircase, her wings twitching in anticipation. Following the lunar sister high up a tower, Alan suddenly found himself staring at a large door, almost twice as tall as he was. It was a marble and jet door adorned with a crescent moon in silver with tiny silver dots surrounding, marking stars. “This room has not been seen by, well, ‘mortal’ eyes since it was built, and inside lies the secrets to the skies that no pony yet comprehends.” She gave him a hard look. “You must promise to never speak of what you are about to see.”
"Why did you say 'mortal' like that?"
"We will explain later. Promise first."
Alan blinked before swearing, “May my lips never open again if I do.”
“You swear on thine honor?”
“And that of all my descendents.”
Luna eyed him for another second before opening the door.
Utter blackness met them.
Luna stepped straight in, fearing neither the darkness, nor the cold that it seemed to give off.
Alan took a hesitant step forward into the darkness. Once he did the door slammed shut behind him.
For a second, Alan could see nothing. Then all of a sudden, bright yellow balls of fire erupted around the room. Thousands of tiny pinpricks of light began to glow around the walls of the room as a grid of blue lights began to form. Massive spheres, held in place by large rings of light began to spin and rotate. A spiral galaxy formed along one wall. The planets and stars, for surely they couldn’t be anything else, took their places. All directed by Luna’s magic as she stood poised on the center platform, her horn glowing softly. “Care to join me?” she asked, smiling.
Alan couldn't help but feel that she was smiling at the stupid look on his face. Nonetheless, Alan climbed the stairs and stood next to Luna. “What do you wish to see?” she asked.
Alan looked up as dozens of solar systems hovered around the room. “Well...show me Equestria.”
The entire room spun, and suddenly, Alan found himself staring at a system that hovered a foot in front of his face. There were four planets in the system, as well as a bright ball of light. Three of the planets were covered in dull browns and greys while the fourth, a brilliant sea blue, hovered in the center of the system. The ball of light, which Alan guessed to be the sun, hovered just beyond the ring of planets, a fiery ball of anger and fury.
“Do not touch,” Luna warned, watching as Alan lifted a hand towards it. “This room is magically connected to the universe. A move here means a move there. A simple wayward breath could extinguish the life of an entire planet.”
Alan decided not to touch the floating sphere.
“It’s beautiful,” he said.
Luna smiled, “Indeed it is.”
“What about that?” Alan said, pointing to one of the other solar systems. Luna simply gave a thought, and the room spun again, bringing the red-sunned system into view.
“That one actually has eight planets,” Luna said, “two of them, however, are so close together that they form a super planet.”
Another system, another quick lecture. “The second planet, there, is composed entirely of diamond.”
System after system, planet after planet, star after star, Luna led Alan through the galaxy, crossing lightyears in seconds. Finally they returned to Equestria and Celestia’s star, and watched as the sun began to slowly rotate. “This is really amazing, Luna.”
“Yes,” she said. “It is nice to share with someone.”
Alan cocked his head at that.
She sighed before she explained “We...Celestia and I...we decided that we should not give ponies knowledge.”
“Why not?”
“It is a dangerous thing, the mind.” Luna’s tone turned melancholy as the moon passed in front of the earth. “The right knowledge in the wrong hooves can rip the world asunder. The wrong knowledge in the right hooves can lead stallions to their deaths. No knowledge leaves the world dark, but omniscience brings madness. We do not tell them anything for fear of telling them everything,” she sighed. “Not even of the sky...”
Alan didn’t say anything, letting Luna gaze into the darkness.
After a while she sighed again, “Enough talk of sad times and unhappy duties. Tell me, Alan, how have thee, you been here? Have you been enjoying Equestria?”
Alan nodded, “Oh yes, Luna, greatly,” Alan said. “There are no bills to pay, no debt to worry about, no job, no distractions, life is simple enough to function comfortably, and exciting enough to get to learn about things like swordplay and dragon slaying.” The smile faded. “It’s something everyone from my world could want...”
“Yet something troubles you?”
Alan sighed. “I-I don’t mean to sound ungrateful, Equestria is an amazing place, and I know many a human back home that would give up both arms and a leg to be in my shoes...but...”
Luna raised an eyebrow, “But?”
“But there’s a part of me that says I don’t belong,” Alan answered, staring at the miniature moon. “There’s a part that says that I am a human, a creature that has no place being here. I may be surrounded by friends, but whenever I see my face in the mirror I am reminded that I am the only human here. I am surrounded by ponies, and yet...I am utterly alone...”
Luna frowned. “We...I, understand what it is like to be alone. I felt even more so on the moon. I could not even hold a conversation with myself, my voice falling to silence the second it touched the open.”
“It sounds terrible.”
“It was.” Luna replied, before facing the human, “Yet, now I am glad it happened. If only so that I could tell you that regardless of what you feel, I, Tia, and your friends are always there for you.”
Alan smiled, “Thank you, Luna, it is appreciated.” Alan checked his watch. “Well, I’d say now would be a good time to head to Donut Joe’s.”
“What?” Luna asked.
“Celestia will be meeting with my friends there. Care to join us?”
Luna raised a hoof, “Oh, I shouldn’t pry on the affairs of our subjects.”
“It isn’t prying, Luna, it’s just going out to have a little fun. Besides, you owe them a little of your time at least.”
Luna hesitated, “Well...” she paused, weighing her options.
“We would enjoy your company.”
“Oh, very well,” she said. “Lead the way to this ‘Donut Joe’s.’”
<<<|Ω|>>>
“Oh Twilight,” Princess Celestia explained to her student, “the Grand Galloping Gala is always awful.”
“It is?” Twilight asked, surprised.
“That is why I was thrilled you were all attending, I was hoping you could liven things up a bit. While the evening may not have turned out as you had planned, I’m sure you could all agree it didn’t turn out so bad for this group of friends.”
Any possible response was interrupted by a flash of light as two figures teleported into the room. “We’re not late are we?” Alan asked, stepping from the light, followed by Luna.
“Sir Alan,” Celestia said. “I trust you enjoyed your night?”
“I did, Luna and I had a few good talks about the stars and nonsense like that, and I’m sure your night was alright. What with the Wonderbolts being busy, the guests too stuffy to dance, almost no apple sales, the skittish animals, the long line of well-wishers for the Princess and then Blueblood confusing the terms chivalry and foalishness.”
Twilight gaped at him. “How did you—”
“How did I know about any of that?” Alan interrupted, finishing her question, “Elementary, My Dear Twilight! It is actually the reason why I joined you six tonight. This is my confession.” Alan sniffed the air, “Which I will give as soon as I get myself one of those cream-filled chocolate beauties right there.”
Twilight rolled her eyes.
Paying for his doughnut, Alan sat down and said, “Well, Fillies and GentleSpike, you may remember I once said that said that this reality is a show in my world.”
“What?” Spike asked. “You never said that.”
Alan looked at him, blinking. “Oh! Right, you weren’t there when I said that. Well essentially Ponyville, Canterlot, and all of Equestria really is the setting of a story with the protagonist as Twilight Sparkle. However, my confession tonight is, I read this chapter.”
“What?” Dash asked.
“I knew that the Gala would be bad, just like I knew that Rarity’s offer to make your dresses would end up in those—”
“Don’t you dare mention those!” Rarity demanded, holding herself over the table as she glared at him.
“Right,” Alan said, his face going grim before continuing. “I knew that Bloomberg would be tree-napped, I knew that Fluttershy would be too afraid to climb the mountain, I knew that the Parasprites would eat Ponyville, and I knew that Rainbow Dash would win the Young Flyers competition. I knew because I saw it all before.”
“Hang on,” Applejack said. “You knew these things would happen, and you let them happen anyway?”
“Well, yes and no,” Alan said. “Some things I couldn’t change. Other things I could but it would have made things worse. Others I could have changed and let the world go on, but I’m not sure what that would have done.” Alan looked up at the farmpony. “For example, I knew that Rarity would fall in love with the wings Twilight conjured for her, and I could have stopped her, and take the wings myself, but I wasn’t sure what would happen after that. If I had taken the wings, then I’m not sure if Rainbow Dash could have done the Sonic Rainboom. I mean, obviously she did it, but I wasn’t sure if she need the push of having someponies life on the line.”
“So you didn’t actually trust me?” Dash asked, quietly.
“No!" Alan said, shaking his head "I knew you could do a Sonic Rainboom, I knew you would do a Sonic Rainboom, what I didn’t know was when,” Alan sighed, explaining. “I didn’t know if you’d pull one in front of the judges, or years down the road, I knew you could do one, but I also wanted you to win.”
Rainbow Dash blinked, before going quiet.
“Applejack, I knew Bloomberg was going to be tree-napped, but I also knew that if he hadn’t been then we would have probably met the buffalo on hostile terms. We probably wouldn’t have been able to work something out like we did, and who knows what kind of problems Appleloosa would have now?”
“So you let Bloomberg get caught?” Applejack asked, the hint of a bite in her tone.
“That’s why I went with him. To make sure, no matter what, that he wouldn’t be hurt.”
Applejack didn’t say anything.
“Rarity, I knew that everypony was going to ask you to make...”
She glared.
“...those...things, and I could have told them not to, and Hoity Toity would have been impressed. You wouldn’t have had any problems, but I know for a fact, from all the time I’ve spent with them, that they wouldn’t have been satisfied. They would look at your work, and think, ‘it’s not exactly what I wanted.’ Now they know that what they wanted would not have looked as good as what they are wearing now, and I’m sure that they love their dresses more because of it.”
Alan looked around the table, a mix of angry and confused looks stared back at him. He sighed, “I have been manipulating all of you,” he said. “I have been manipulating you for the good of yourselves and everypony else. But I want you all to know, it stops here.” Alan said, setting his half-eaten doughnut on the table. “I cannot physically do any more. From here on out every surprise will be a surprise. I have not seen any more episodes, and I haven’t read any spoilers. From now on, I will know nothing.”
“So you’ve been manipulating us?” Twilight asked.
Alan nodded, a frown forming on his face. “Yes, I have. I wish there was a better word for it, but yeah.”
“No you haven’t!” Pinkie practically yelled across the table, catching everyone’s attention. “You haven’t been manipulating us, you’ve been helping us! You knew Dashie could do the Sonic Rainboom, so you let the world give her the little push she needed. You knew Fluttershy wouldn’t be able to climb the mountain, so you carried her. You knew AJ’s tree would get stolen, so you risked yourself to protect him. You knew we’d bug Rarity, so you made sure that the fashion show was a success. That doesn’t sound like manipulating anypony! Manipulating is what meanies do, and you’re no meany!”
“She’s right,” Fluttershy mumbled. “You’ve helped us alot, Alan.”
Rarity nodded, “Yes, dear, so far everything you've said has only made sense, I’m not so sure I would have acted any different if I was in your position.”
Celestia smiled.
Twilight thought for a second, Rarity had made a good point.
“But ya risked Bloomberg’s life.”
“And you lied to me!” Dash growled.
“No he didn’t!” Pinkie said. “He said so himself. He went to make sure Bloomberg would be safe, and safe he was, wasn’t he?”
“Well, yeah but...” Applejack started, growing quieter.
“And Rainbow Dash, he still did jump off of the Cloudoseum. He trusted you with his life.”
Dash didn’t respond to that.
Alan sighed. “Look girls I’m sorry alright? I’m sorry for keeping you in the dark, but I wasn’t so sure that letting you know wouldn’t have made things worse. I...I simply had to watch...”
Rarity hugged him, “It’s quite alright, Darling, you just wanted the best for us.”
Pinkie joined in the hug, “Yeah, you’re still one of my bestest friends, Al.”
“Um, Thank you, Alan, for everything.”
Applejack let out a sigh, “Yeah, you did alright keeping him safe, Al. Thanks.”
“Oh, just join the hug,” Rarity said.
AJ smiled before joining in.
Dash joined in shortly afterward, “I’ll forgive you this time, but next time I'll beat the snot out of you.”
Twilight joined in last, “It was best thing to do, given the situation.”
Alan’s frown faded, being replaced by a smile. Stretching his arms out as wide as he could, he grabbed all of his friends and held them in a tight embrace.
Releasing them, he looked over to Spike, “Hey Spike, didn’t you say you had the Insider's Tour of Canterlot planned?”
“Yeah,” The baby dragon answered. “Yeah, I did.”
“Well the night is still young, and I say it’s time to celebrate the end of Season 1! Let’s go.”
With the girls agreeing, the eight figures left, leaving only the two Princesses.
Luna spoke first, “He is like us in so many ways.”
“And yet different in so many more,” Celestia finished, before smiling. “Arthur would be proud.” Floating Alan’s doughnut up to her face, she bit into it.
“Ew, Tia,” Luna said, shaking her head in disgust. “That was in his mouth.”
Celestia simply bit into it again, “A Human’s mouth is cleaner than a pony’s, Lulu.”
“I don’t know where you heard that, but it’s obviously a lie.”
Celestia chuckled, “Well, regardless, he had good taste. Excuse me, Mr. Joe? Two more of these creme filled ones please.”
“Make it four.” Luna said, yelling.
“Volume Lulu.”
“Oh. Sorry.”
100 faves.
“PARTY!”
100 faves?
“PARTY!”
100 faves!
“Just party already, sheesh!”
Wait...what? 98?
...
Did two people just super rapidly un-fav my story?
"...Miner...are you..."
The Author's eyes shrink to pinpoints as he begins to furiously pet Pinkie's mane.
I'm fine, Pinkie. Thank you for asking...
"Ow! Miner, you're petting a little hard there..."
People like me...they have to like me...It's not my fault...I'm not a bad writer...
"Oh no. Somepony, please! We need two faves stat! It's-I've only seen him like this once before. It's not fun! Save me! Hurry!"
The title looks like a play on words involving the story "A Connecticut Yankee in King Arthurs Court"
I'm just gonna assume this is awesome... so I'm giving it a read. Details at eleven.
1091898
That's kinda what I was going for...
Alan Williams is my Dad's name
Insta-fave, just for that. Will read soon, methinks.
I'm sorry - I don't like pony-related stories with humans, so I will probably skip this one. However I was drawn here by title - does your story include some advanced elements/analysis about swordsmanship? It is my personal passion and I'm curious if you share it, or is it just coincidental title. Nevertheless I wish success with you first fanfic - I'm still to lazy/stupid to write something myself.
827740 I, on the other hoof, am flawless. I used to be very conceited. But that has all changed now that I am perfect.
Hm. I love the premise. It does have a sort of charm. Unfortunately, sometimes the writing feels uninspired.
STILL, I'll favorite this story. Because it has heart.
Also, I trust that your writing will improve, as you progress.
PS-
What happened to Party For One?
*stares blankly*
...Man, no one ever uses future knowledge to fuck with the changeling queen's head while she's still disguised as Cadence...
Sorry, when Alan mentioned not having seen more than season 1, it made me think of that.
Wonder what'll happen when Discord comes out. Surely he knows the basics who Discord is, because of the internet/memes, right? He just doesn't know how to stop him or any spoilers and such.
o.o Discorded Alan...
Here, have a fave. A good story deserves à happy a author
1092268
Not really...sorry...it includes a made up sword style that is only vaguely mentioned (mostly because I'm no expert.)
But, yes, I realize that HiE stories are notoriously bad, which is kinda why I'm trying to reinvent the genre. All I ask is you try it.
1092629 Using the knowledge of the show to change the future...BRILLIANT!
I'm kind of surprised Party of One wasn't done. Or Feeling Pinkie-Keen. Oh well, still a great story. Minor errors with spelling that look more like accidental typing error than knowingly typed in, so I can ignore that.
And honestly, I don't think HiE is ALL that bad myself. The issue with Bronies in Equestria is what makes a lot of them bad, because, like you've said before, most go right to the acceptance stage.
That being said, it's the reason I skip most HiE that involve the human having prior knowledge of the world before coming there. The ones involving a world where the human knew nothing of the show, or possibly a world where such a show was never even in existence, are usually the good ones.
In short, I feel you're very successful in tunring the stereotypical HiE story on it's head.
P.S. You just earned a fav. Any fic that can make me read it in one sitting deserves that.
Dang dude! I was thinking you might have done the gala episode and that if you did I was really hoping you'd go after luna and then I was like OMG You did!!!! WOOOOO!!!! And thank you for that awesome cosmos room. that was gorgeous! Now it truly is the best night ever.
So I suppose now, things are gunna start picking up a little more now that Alan is no longer in control. That and we have an evil god of chaos about to show up. Even if things don't get all drastic, I'm sure that the next few chapters are gunna be really awesome! Lookin forward to it!!
NOT DISCORD NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! poor alen
Save Pinkie!
1092558 This is what I'm dreading. If only he had seen at least the first episode, he'd have a clear idea of what he's dealing with. Alan will be faced with the most powerful, potentially devastatingly deadly enemy in the entire show... and flying virtually blind. If he's as vulnerable to Discord's mental manipulation as the rest of the ponies... 'great shitstorm of the century' doesn't even come close!
*imagines Discord whispering into Alan's ear* How long has it been since you enjoyed a tender, mouthwatering hamburger. *spirals begin to form in Alan's eyes*
NUUUUU!!! Stay good, Alan!
The only hope is the Doctor. He's the wildcard. A Time Lord has strong psychic and telepathic powers, as well as the experience the Doctor has gained fighting numerous god-like evil entities. He may be forced to intervene this time!
As for Chrysalis, if Alan can withstand an encounter with Discord, an arrogant, selfish shape-shifter will be small potatoes!
At any rate, I am loving this story! How does it have so few favorites?! I've read stories that are filled with flaws of every sort and get more attention! THIS MUST NOT BE ALLOWED!!!
1092201 *punches you in the side!* Don't be so modest! It was TOTALLY ORIGINAL!! You're just THAT awesome! *leans in and whispers* You'll never succeed unless you steal credit for everything! Remember, Al Gore invented the Internet! Sooo... YOU thought up the idea for Equestria! Heck, you ACTUALLY CREATED EQUESTRIA FOR REALZ!! Because you have powers! And everypony must give you money or you'll make all the ponies suffer and die in the next chapter! (read "Blackmail and You: How to Milk People Dry", by lawyers Dewey, Cheetem, and Howe)
So far, so good. I always enjoy it when an HiE fic improves Luna's relationship with the modern world
I'm sure Al has had to at least heard of Discord. He might not know anything about him, but he should have heard of the guy.
Going to be fun to see if he compares him to Q.
I guess I will risk giving this unfinished story an irreversible Like...
BUT DON'T RUIN IT!
1095296
I've given you eleven chapters of awesomeness, and you think I'm just going to ruin it?
I'm hurt.
In all seriousness, though, Things are going to get much better, you will hate for what I am going to do, but you'll love me for it.
Awesome story, just finished reading it all. Very very good.
Ohh yes! Doctor! It's been far to long! I have a feeling he'll show up in the future again. Are you going to go with the Discord Whooves route by any chance? Speaking of, how knowledgeable is he about Doctor Who? 1095323 Don't worry mate! No matter what, as long as it's well written, I couldn't possibly hate you for it! This story is far to awesome for that. I faved, thumbed-up, and tracked this after the first chapter. Onwards! ~With regards, the Current Student of the Second True Magic
1095459
He is reasonably knowledgeable, which is impressive considering that I'm not...
1095468 Forgive the choppiness of the current posts, I'm using a Ps3 at the moment and well. . . not the best precision if you get my drift. I see, so its a case of character knowing more than author hmm? Have you decided how much he knows? And of which Doctors? If you don't mind me asking that is. . . Anyways, Season Two! Not only is it the unknown factor, Alan will cause it to be different! Can't wait to see his reaction to Shining Armor, and how different the opening episodes will be! I'm excited! Forwards, into the unknown! For science!
1095526
He's seen the show a few times, mostly the last two Doctors, he blames his High School friends for that. He understands the Doctor's character, his motivation, and most importantly, to not ask him any questions unless you want long, drawn out, and confusing answers.
1095549 Ahh, I see. Least he got to see David Tennent. Tenth Doctor is my favorite, though I haven't seen the Eleventh yet. I assume this Doctor is the Tenth? Or did I miss something painfuly obvious. Again.
1095572
He is the fourteenth, as explained many chapters ago when the reason for Alan's arrival is revealed.(Accidental summoning, thanks to Turner).
I am very enthusiastic about this story. I can't wait for more! More! MORE! MOAR!
1097283
To answer your first question, Rabbit is delicious, and if he happened to spot one, he'd probably kill it. Since he's not bringing a gun, he needed something else, the knives.
Secondly, I own a sword, a nice one-handed weapon, Stainless steel, wire-wrapped handle. It is a replica of Colada, wielded by El Cid from Spain.
tienda-medieval.com/en/1286-2903-large/cid-campeador-colada-sword.jpg
The blade is about two-and-a-half feet long.
Why am I telling you this?
Because I have never received formal training, I have really only swung the thing once or twice, but I could do the stuff Alan is doing, and you're right, it is a little flashy, but just flashy. In reality, a move like that in a fight would kill him. He did it for looks.
Also, you're right in pointing out that a light blade is not necessarily good. You do want something with weight on it so that you can do some good damage. However, you must take into account the original wielder of Judgement.
Arthur is the Equestrian Commander-in-Chief, second only to the Princesses. He had every available resource available to him. With that in mind, whose to say that the sword is enchanted with a variable weight? Something that feels incredibly light while actually weighing a good five pounds (Again, Colada)? These are things that should be taken into account, but thank you for your questions, and your concern.
1098568
Simplistic, yes. It would take far too much time to explain in detail, so I kept it short. One sided, maybe. I have really haven't heard much about what the English were doing at the time, other than the fact that they were milking us for our resources while all of the other European countries did the same, the English just stepped over a line or two. Insulting...well...did you read the first draft of the Star-Spangled Banner? There were a few verses that were so insulting that they were later removed because the U.S. thought that maybe in the future we'd have to establish an alliance, and having three or so verses dedicated to bad-mouthing England wouldn't really go over well...So, yes, maybe a little insulting, but the U.S.A. had been deeply insulted first, and quiet frankly, there aren't enough Americans with Spine enough to say, yes, The U.S.A. is the best country in the world, and nothing anyone does can change that. (Living most of my childhood in Europe, I tend to agree.) So no, not Anglophobic, just Ameriphilic.
1097526
Ah, right - that clears that up.
As for the sword - My estimate was based on 12th century Norman one-handed weapons, which generally seem to be used for the Arthurian legend, with the exception of when he is interpreted to be more Roman. Two and a half feet _is_ about average for a one handed sword, but even so, it still weighs 1-1.3 kg. Since you later specified the weapon to be a hand-and-a-half sword, that would put the blade to be at about four foot...
Then again, the description evokes in me the image of a person performing relatively advanced feats of swordsmanship - that you seem to think what he has done is fairly simply would indicate we have a slight difference of ideas as to what he actually did.
Finally - the "It's magic!" card. I admit, I had not considered that before originally posting, and it would clear up pretty much any issue right away. However, now that you bring up the idea of magic swords, a thought occurs; In the writings, Arthur refers to a sword 'fighting' the wielder. I cannot help but wonder if this meant in a "semi-sentient sword" or more metaphorical "you can't swing the sword correctly" kind of way...
1100157
Maybe both?
1100275
Where! I MUST fix this at once!
1100308 In "Over the Barrel"
“Yes.” the Chief’s daughter replied, “Chief Thunderhooves,”
“You’re dad.”
“...yes...my dad...and the Half-Dragon were negotiating a possible peace, when the Elder,-”
I never knew that Littlestrongheart is a dad
---- Side Note ----
Awesome story, subscribed, favorited, and what not.
1100604
Thank you! My reputation as a writer is saved!
1100673 lol, no problem Keep up the good work
awesome story!!! I thoroughly enjoyed reading this fic although there were a few spelling errors and what not, but the story was great all the same. The swordplay idea for this is interesting I really do not know much about swords except from knowledge from video games, but I really enjoyed the parts of the story that would talk about Arthur and his sword training. Overall i favorited it well done on the story so far and I can't wait to see what lies down the road for Al.
You lack two favs? Here you go take mine.
Seriously, I read the whole story at one go and I think it's quite good for a HiE.
Yeah, it was fun, I'll track your story from now on.
Okay, I'm liking the direction of that little conflict.
It also seemed quite like Pinkie to take Alan's side like that, so nicely done there.
Looking forward to reading future updates.
Honestly, this is a pretty sound fic.
But please, please, be cautious if you go into shipping territory. Many a 'good' HiE fic has gone down the drain due to a generic humanxpony romance.
Though I'd actually imagine that if you tried it, the shipping might seem somewhat like 'Hands'.
1112470
Don't worry, the shipping won't happen for a while, and I've got a special plan for it.
"He does! You see after the" SPOILERSPOILERSPOILER "Alan" SPOILERSPOILERSPOILER "And Twilight," SPOILERSPOILERSPOILER!
1112644
Le gasp!
Pinkie mentioned 'Alan' 'and Twilight'! That means Alan's getting shipped with Twilight and definitely nopony else!
...What to do, what to do...
Quick everyone, panic and run in circles!
i42.tinypic.com/jjmcuc.gif
NO MORE FUTURE KNOWLEDGE?! That's some gibbledygop... how shall the story proceed? I'm guessing romance and training and Alan... and uninteresting things.
Luna has an universal observatory hidden in Canterlot Palace...........I WANT ONE
Yay LUNA!!!!!!!!
1112644
Dammit i hoped that he would tell off Blueblood.
1097526
I own a vast variety of blades myself, 49 blades total. Two of them swords in a "twin" set , and have grown rather proficient with them (via training myself in the woods), and do notice that you choose to make his attacks with more flair. I also do this when demonstrating my swords and knifes. Flashy is good for a story or show, but not combat.
Alan nodded, “Nine, and I mean nine, Pluto’s still a planet as far as I’m concerned.” FUCK YEAH
I saw that pic before I read the fic...
webmemes.org(fyeah)