32-Of Plans and Potions
Chapter 32
Alan stared at the stairs before him.
Something about them was just so...fascinating...
He wasn’t sure what it was either. They just sort of went up, and then down. Or did they go down and then up? Maybe it went both directions at the same time, but that seemed something of a paradox...
“Alan, are you staring at the stairs again?” Twilight called.
His ears splayed flat against his head, and he guiltily answered, “No...?”
“Alan!”
“I’m sorry! I can’t help it!” Alan answered. “Stupid Dark Magic side effects...” he muttered.
Twilight sighed, walking out of the kitchen, carrying a bag that held two sack lunches. “Come on, lets get you out of the house.”
Despite Alan’s hesitance to tell Twilight about his experience, she had backed him into a corner with the simple question of “So what did Celestia want?”
Alan had looked at her for a long second before answering as well as he could, skimming over his...transformation, and focusing on the Dark Magic itself.
Twilight took it surprisingly well.
Of course, Alan did get a bit of a scare that night. What with waking up in the basement covered in wires and electrodes, and being strapped down to a table.
She swore she would make it up to him, but Alan remained unconvinced.
The fall sun shone with a lazy brilliance as the orange leaves fell from the bare branches of the trees.
The two took a turn down towards Sweet Apple Acres, walking side by side as they moved through the cool air.
"So what did you pack us?" Alan asked as they headed for their picnic spot.
"Radish, lettuce and tomato sandwiches, of course."
"Of course," Alan deadpanned.
"And just what do you mean by that?"
"Nothing, Twi."
"No. What did you mean by that?"
"Look, I know they're your favorite. I'd just like some variety is all."
"Excuse you!"
"Look, are we really going to get in an argument about sandwiches?"
She paused for a second before pulling out a list. "Well, we're due for one..."
Alan blinked. "What?"
"Well, I've found a pattern to our arguments. It's based on the Fibonacci sequence that stared with the first year of you being here as the base number, then we had an argument. Remember when we had the fight about you going to war?"
"Uh...alright?"
"Right! Then we had one a year later during the war where I told you that getting the tanks into the Ira was going to take much too long, and we would be losing time in the long run."
"That was more you advising me."
"And after that, we had a fight half a year later once the war was over. It was when I was telling you to get a cape rather than getting a new duster."
"That wasn't so much of an argument as—"
"Then we had the thing with the changelings that took place four months after the duster one."
"I remember that one."
"So after that we had the one about the superiority of potatoes over tomatoes two point four months after wedding."
"Now it sounds like you're grasping at straws."
"So, it's been two and a quarter months since then, so it's about time we had an argument."
Alan blinked. "You do know that according to that theory, we'll eventually get to the point where we argue all the time?"
Twilight blinked. "You do have a point there."
Alan smiled before kissing the unicorn just at the base of her horn. "You're something, Twilight. Something I just can't live without."
She smiled before nuzzling him.
They continued to walk, their sides pressing against each other as they continued towards their picnic.
Alan suddenly turned to her. "Do you seriously have notes from over three years ago?"
<<<|Ω|>>>
Winter had passed since then, and the two had mostly filled the time with studying Alan's magics as well as a few rather successful dates. However with Springtime rolling in, Rainbow Dash had a weather assignment that she needed help with.
So she called in her favorite egghead for help.
Well...second favorite egghead now, technically. Who knew that the great Rainbow Danger Dash would get into the Daring Do series?
Alan still remembered the day that Thunderlane walked into the library, a smile on his face as he asked for both the first and second book in the series. “She’ll love ‘em, I know she will,” he had said.
Alan still couldn’t believe it, personally. Of course, he also wouldn’t have believed you if you had told him he’d take up a fascination with a particular piece of architecture.
“So where’s she set up?” Alan asked as he followed Twilight out.
“There’s a field not far from the schoolhouse that she’s picked,” Twilight said, picking up her anemometer as she exited the door.
“I think I know the one you are talking about,” Alan said, before eyeing the sack lunches. “Did you pack a snack?”
Twilight sent a glare his way. “You don’t need another donut.”
“Oh, come on. You make it sound like I just ate one.”
“You just had some yesterday!”
“Yeah, yesterday,” Alan answered.
“No,” Twilight said, “you are not going to get another donut.”
“I’ll get you the triple chocolate fudge cube,” Alan said.
Twilight looked at him.
Darn it!
Alan gave her his best smile, “Last one this week, I promise.”
“Fine,” she growled.
Alan smiled wider. “Awesome, meet you there, alright?”
“Yes, yes...” Twilight muttered as Alan slipped away, heading for the now familiar territory of Sugarcube Corner.
In actuality, Alan didn’t really care for another donut. Nor an eclair, not even a cinnamon bun. No, he was going there for something far more important.
As the door open, a bell sounded, and Mr. Cake’s face quickly popped up from behind the counter. “Well hey, there! What can I get for you, Al?”
“Hey, Mr. Cake, a donut and three triple chocolate fudge cubes. An answer to a question would be good too.”
“What question?” Mr. Cake said as he ducked back underneath the counter.
“A marriage question.”
Mr. Cake glanced up for a second. “Sorry, but I’m spoken for.”
“Funny,” Alan smirked. “But seriously here, I’ve been wondering something.”
“What?”
“Well, how do ponies say they’re married?”
Mr. Cake blinked. “What do you mean by that?”
“Well, like on Earth, the most common outward sign of marriage was a ring worn on a specific finger, and while I did see Shining and Cadence exchange rings on their wedding day, I haven’t actually seen him wear it since.”
Mr. Cake blinked again. “Oh!” he exclaimed, suddenly getting it. “Right, right. Well, normally most ponies go with initials carved into the sole of the hoof, it’s a little painful, but it lasts. Unicorns normally have a single piece of jewelry between the two of them, but I’ve seen pegasi exchange a pinion feather.”
“Really? Feathers?”
“Well, the way Cuppy’s great aunt's second cousin twice removed describes it, the feather is supposed to an irreplaceable part of who you are. It’s a pretty big deal for pegasi.”
Alan nodded.
“Alright...well...how about proposals?”
<<<|Ω|>>>
Alan slowly approached the track that was acting as the testing grounds for the pegasi work force. Rainbow Dash was standing as proud as ever, wearing a baseball cap and blowing a whistle at anypony who seemed to be sitting still for too long.
Alan quickly scanned the field, and almost immediately spotted the lavender unicorn he cared for sitting in the middle, checking her instruments and notes almost obsessively. He felt a mild shock seeing Spike present, using his wings to perform pushups as three more pegasi sat on his back. However, he was more surprised to see Big Macintosh sitting on the sideline.
Alan quietly walked up beside the large stallion and sat next to him.
Big Mac nodded in greeting.
Alan nodded back, before following the earth pony’s gaze.
It landed on a certain yellow pegasus.
Alan...wasn’t actually all that surprised now that he thought about it.
He was also a little pleased with it.
One does not simply forget their favorite ship, after all.
Fluttershy, on the other hand, shook under every gaze, and yelped at every sound. This, Alan was familiar with, it seemed standard Fluttershy behavior when asked to perform before a crowd. But there was something else. Her eyes frantically darted about herself, as if terrifying phantoms that only she could see leaped at her from every angle.
“She seems nervous,” Alan noted.
“Eeyup,” came the reply.
There was silence for a second as they both retreated into their thoughts.
“I think I may know a way to help her,” Alan commented.
Big Mac looked at him.
Alan smiled. “I’ll need some help though, interested?”
The large stallion nodded.
<<<|Ω|>>>
“Fluttershy! Fluttershy! Fluttershy can hardly fly!”
She could still hear them, she could still feel them staring down at her, their voices and glares all wrapped up into a terrifying nightmare of ridicule.
Fluttershy felt her stomach tie itself into knots as she spun her head this way and that, searching for her unseen accusers.
Oh, no! Now her wings were cramping! She’d never be able to fly with a cramping wing!
And now her hooves were sore.
And there goes her heart rate!
Yup, she was definitely in no condition to fly. She better just go home now and stay there, maybe lock a few doors while she was at it.
Of course, her monologue did nothing to stop the starting line from getting closer as she was pushed forward by her friend.
“Come on, Fluttershy, you’ll be fine!” Rainbow Dash said as she pushed the yellow pegasus forward. “You just need to make a wingpower of seven, Spike said he’ll cover the rest for you!”
Fluttershy was slowly digging a trench in the ground as she was pushed forward.
“Come on!” Rainbow Dash said, giving her the final push until she was at the white mark on the ground that spelled out her doom.
“Fluttershy! Fluttershy! Fluttershy can hardly fly!”
“Now, come on, Flutters, let’s see what you can do!” Rainbow Dash said.
Fluttershy shook, and gulped before hesitantly taking the starting position.
“Fluttershy! Fluttershy!”
She nervously spread her shaking wings.
“Fluttershy can hardly—”
“Medic!” A voice cried from across the track, cutting off the the taunt.
Her pupils dilated, and she hung at the starting line for an instant.
And then she was off.
The world around her morphed into the war-torn battlements of Canterlot as she flew forward with all of her haste, her fear totally forgotten.
Griffons and ponies raged war around her as she searched for—
There!
She shoved the pony that had called her out of the way, diving on her patient as she began to run through a list of possible injuries.
“No major bleeding from arteries. No exposed organs. No puncture wounds. No blunt...force...” and just like that, she found herself staring straight into the face of a surprised stallion.
Big Mac blinked.
Fluttershy blushed.
The farmer blushed back.
“Uh...” he started.
“Twelve point three wingpower!” Twilight suddenly cried, breaking Fluttershy from her stupor.
She flew off of him faster than she thought her wings were capable of doing, and sat down in the grass, trying to hide her blushing face with her mane.
Big Mac slowly got up himself, before taking quick interest in the clouds.
Alan smiled as he sat next to Twilight.
“What did you just do?” she asked.
“Once you ship FlutterMac, you never go back.”
<<<|Ω|>>>
Alan continued to read, going over the basics of swordsmanship styles, trying to find ways to make them more efficient for his pony body.
So far, he had translated the Ochs and the Pflug guards, but he was having trouble with both the vom Tag, and the Alber guards.
He was interrupted from his thoughts as a very lovely unicorn rested her head on his withers. “Hey,” she whispered into his ear.
“Hey,” Alan said as he twisted to meet her.
She smiled as she looked at the unicorn, and they shared a quick kiss between them.
Alan smiled as they broke. “My favorite superhero.”
Twilight rolled her eyes. “I don’t know why you liked Mare-do-Well that much.”
Alan smiled. “Why wouldn’t I? A Darkwing Duck reference is a Darkwing Duck reference.” He smiled wider. “Besides, she had the cutest alter ego.”
Twilight grinned, “So that’s how you feel about Pinkie, is it?”
Alan raised an eyebrow, before giving suddenly pouncing on her in a vicious hug. “Well if that’s how I feel about Pinkie, just imagine how I feel about you.”
Alan pulled her to the floor, kissing her neck fervently.
He nuzzled her, held her, kissed her. They laughed as they rolled on the floor.
And then he quickly sat up, his eyes dancing around one corner of the room.
Twilight looked up at him. “What? What is it?”
Alan shook his head. “Nothing, just thought I saw—”
Something fluttered in the corner.
And then Alan did something Twilight never expected.
He screamed.
An honest to goodness scream.
It was the girliest thing she had heard since Fluttershy’s own screams.
This was followed by a hard-mana hammer slamming into the floor repeatedly.
“Alan!” she cried.
Alan looked at her, and then back to the corner, and then back at her.
“Ah...” he said, the hammer dissipating and a blush form on his cheeks.
“What was that about?” she asked.
“Well...I...um...ah...” Alan said, his eyes moving across the ceiling. “Any chance you’d believe nothing at all?”
Twilight gave him a look. “No,” she deadpanned.
Alan gave a nervous laugh. “No, no you wouldn’t,” he admitted, kicking at a non-existent pebble. “Well...it’s..ah...not something I have really told anybody before...”
Twilight waited.
“I uh...suffer from mottephobia...”
Twilight blinked.
“You know, mottephobia, the fear of moths...” he said, barely whispering the last word.
“I know what mottephobia is,” Twilight said, “I just wouldn’t have guessed...”
“Yeah, it’s not something I’m proud of, exactly...” Alan said. “I was six and I had this nightmare where this giant blood red moth was trying to eat me, and I couldn’t move, and ever since then I’ve been scared of them.”
“What?” Twilight asked.
“I mean, it so stupid! It’s a stupid, annoying, and totally harmless bug, but if I see more than one, I freeze up. It’s just so stupid!” he ranted.
Twilight sighed. She really did have an interesting taste in stallions.
“Just give me a second to collect myself,” he said, breathing in. “So how was your day today?”
Twilight sighed, pushing herself up against him as she spoke. “It was alright. I met the Crusaders coming home.”
“Yeah? What did they want?”
“Oh they just wanted a recipe for a love potion.”
“Ah,” Alan said, doing his best to relax. “Wait...you didn’t give them one did you?”
Twilight blinked, looking at him.
Alan blinked, staring back.
“Oh, buck!” the said in unison.
<<<|Ω|>>>
“Well...” Pipsqueak said. “We’re in trouble.”
It was a terrifying ultimatum.
Sure, the Crusaders had gotten into trouble before, but this was bad.
They had poisoned their teacher, and Big Mac.
Well, it wasn’t that bad. It only doomed Cheerilee and Big Mac to stare into each other’s eyes until the wasted away.
...Yeah, they were in trouble.
The five crusaders were in their clubhouse, each thinking of the best way to undo their latest blunder.
Silver Spoon had her nose buried in the book, flipping through the pages like a mad mare. She was in charge of Research and Development, and if she had actually taken a moment to read through the whole thing, she would have noticed the side effects. If ponies found out it was her fault...
She shuddered at the thought before re-re-reading the passage.
“Ok, it says here that all we need to do is keep them from looking into each other’s eyes for a full hour, and then we’re good,” Spoon said, reading aloud.
“Is that all?” Applebloom asked, hopefully.
“Well, yeah, but we only have until...” she quickly counted, “noon before the effects become permanent.”
“Alright then!” Pipsqueak said, standing. “Then all we need to do is—”
And that was a far as he got before the clubhouse door slammed open.
“What did you do!?” Alan screamed as he entered.
The book that Silver Spoon was holding began to glow purple as it suddenly shot out of her hooves and right in front of the lavender unicorn behind him.
“Cure, cure, cure...” she mumbled flipping through the pages.
Pipsqueak was admittedly quick to answer. “We wanted Miss Cheerilee to have a special somepony, and Big Mac was the only good one we found.”
“Cure!” Twilight exclaimed. “We have to keep them from looking into each other’s eyes for an hour!”
“Alright,” Alan said, “Hopefully that won’t be so bad. Wait, did you say Cheerilee and Big Mac?”
“Uh-huh.”
“Ooh,” Alan winced, “I hope Fluttershy doesn’t find out, she’d be heartbroken.”
Sweetie Belle looked up at the Pendragon guiltily. “Miss Fluttershy?”
“Alright, Twi, we need to move out. You take care of Cheerilee, I’ll get Macintosh.”
“We’re coming with you!” Applebloom cired.
“Yeah!” Pipsqueak followed. “We started this mess, we should help fix it!”
Twilight opened her mouth to say something, but Alan quickly beat her to the punch. “No time to argue! Let’s go, girls, go with Twi, Pip, with me!”
<<<|Ω|>>>
Fluttershy hummed to herself as she walked into Sugarcube corner.
Today was a good day for her. The local field mouse had finally recovered enough from his broken leg to go home to his family, Mr. and Mrs. Weasel hadn’t eaten any of her smaller friends, Barry the Bear had dropped by for tea, and she and Rarity had a little mare time down at the spa.
It had just been such a wonderful day.
The bell sang a cheery note as Fluttershy opened the door, her wings fluttering as she made a graceful leap towards the counter. “Hello, Mrs. Cake,” she said, in her doubtlessly-trademarked whisper-speech.
“Oh! Hello there, dearie! what can I get you today?”
“Oh, well, I was just having such a wonderful day. It’s been so great, and I was just thinking that I could ah...maybe I could just make it the tiniest bit better by having a milkshake.”
Mrs. Cake smiled. “Of course, dearie, no problem at all!” Mrs. Cake said. “I just hope our other customers won’t bother you.”
“Other customers?” Fluttershy asked, before her eyes started scanning the room.
And then she saw them.
There he was, the strong, the silent, the helpful Big Macintosh. He looked as...handsome as ever, with his yoke around his neck.
Before him was a mare.
Fluttershy hardly realized that it was Cheerilee, but it didn’t matter.
“Shmoopy-doopy sweetie-weetie pony pie,” he muttered dreamily, staring into her eyes as though they were the gateways to heaven themselves.
“Cutie-patootie lovie-dovie honey-bunny,” she answered, returning the pleased, thousand-mile stare.
Tears sprung to the pegasus’ eyes.
The both sipped at a shared milkshake, giving it just enough attention to slowly eat it away.
Fluttershy staggered.
“Big Mac?” she whispered.
The stallion paid her no mind, as though she didn’t even exist.
Her tears began to run down her face. “No...” she whispered.
The stallion didn’t hear her. All he did was stare deep into the eyes of the mare across from him.
“M-Macintosh...?” she called.
The stallion didn’t answer.
“Well lookie here!” a voice in her mind taunted. “Somepony decided they were too shy, and the stallion she wants just passes her by.”
Fluttershy could only stare at the scene before her.
“Looks like your little crush isn’t interested in doormats, idiot!”
Fluttershy flinched at the mental jab, tears running down her face.
“Now look at him! Look at him! See how happy he is!? Do you see that? That could have been you! But no! Little Miss Spineless could say anything, could she?”
Fluttershy didn’t answer.
“Well it’s too late now.”
Fluttershy sobbed, her body shaking as she watched Big Macintosh stare into the eyes of another mare.
She just couldn’t take it.
Her vision nearly blinded by the tears, she ran out, pushing her way through the door, and past the seven ponies at the door.
Alan, Twilight, and the crusaders watched her go.
Alan sighed. “Great...”
<<<|Ω|>>>
Alan had four, massive mana-arms grabbed onto the stallion.
Four arms, and not a single one had slowed him down.
Chains of mana, a shape that he had not yet mastered, anchored to stones, did nothing but rearrange the scenery.
Pipsqueak had managed to get a rope around his neck, but that only really succeeded in moving a house.
“Darn it, Big Mac. I order you to stop!” Alan yelled.
Big Mac did not stop. He was too busy thinking about his dear “Shmoopy-doo” to care about orders.
Pipsqueak was trying to hold onto the rope with his teeth, but just wound up dangling between the house and the draft pony.
Alan hoped Twilight was doing better.
<<<|Ω|>>>
Twilight hoped Alan was doing better.
“My Snuggy-wuggy Honey-wunny Wafflebaby needs me!” Cheerilee cried.
Wafflebaby?
Twilight was silently thankful that she and Alan never got that bad.
At least publicly.
Cheerilee was currently being held back by three mana walls, a leash of cloth disguised as a wedding veil, and four fillies.
And still she was moving.
Sweet Celestia, that mare was desperate.
<<<|Ω|>>>
Pipsqueak dropped to the floor, avoiding the house that was dragging behind him, by a few hooves closer than he would have liked.
This was not good.
Mr. Alan wasn’t stopping Big Macintosh at all.
Not even a little bit.
The colt’s eyes scanned the area, trying to find somepony that could help.
He did find a couple that could help. Both pegasi, colts from his class, one grey, the other beige with a camera.
“Rumble! Featherweight! Help!”
The two colts seemed shocked that they had been called in to help.
“Hurry! We don’t have much time!”
Rumble suddenly shot forward, as if the words had finally reached his ears. The grey colt was fast, running up to the large earth pony, and getting in between his legs.
Whump-whump, whump-whump.
Rumble made four quick strikes at the larger stallion’s hooves, throwing off his bounce-like gait.
Big Mac stumbled, falling flat on his face.
“Way to go, kid!” Alan yelled, before the mana arms quickly secured the legs, pinning them to the ground.
“Honey-Bunch!” a voice called, and Alan looked up to see a purple mare dragging four fillies and a mare behind her.
“Oh, not good!” Alan yelled.
“Shmoopy-doo!” Big Mac yelled, pushing himself up, forcing himself against the restraints.
“Keep him down!” Alan yelled, as a few more arms appeared, pushing down on the stallion.
Unfortunately it was an arm too many.
The draft pony gave a powerful push upwards, and shattered one of the arms.
The magical backlash was as bad as ever.
Going down, Alan watched in horror as Big Mac leapt up, and began running for Cheerilee.
“Don’t let him look her in the eyes!” Alan yelled.
Rumble moved quickly, slamming into the stallion’s larger legs as he tried to move again.
Pipsqueak ran up, whipping the bandana from around his neck into his teeth, and jumped onto the stallion’s neck. He expertly wrapped the bandana around Big Mac’s eyes, effectively blindfolding him.
Featherweight finally moved.
Big Mac regained his footing, almost casually throwing Pipsqueak and the bandana from his head. And then he began jumping again.
Cheerilee strained against her captors.
Big Mac made yet another leap, still dragging the house.
And then there was a bright flash of light.
“Smile!” Featherweight yelled, as the flash of his camera subsided.
Big Mac blinked widely, trying to see through the spots in his vision.
Rumble moved again, slamming into Big Mac’s hooves, using everything his brother taught him to get them out of sync just so, flying out from underneath the falling stallion every time he was successful.
Pipsqueak ran up to Big Mac again, and threw his bandana around his eyes. “Flash Miss Cheerilee too!” he yelled at the beige colt.
Featherweight nodded, zipping over to the purple earth pony mare. “Time for your wedding pictures!” he yelled, snapping the flash.
Cheerilee screamed. “Muffy-duff!” she cried.
“Wumpykins!” Big Mac yelled.
“Pin her, girls!” Twilight yelled.
“Just one more minute!” Alan called.
Rumble was flying between Big Mac’s legs, sweeping them out from under him as he tried to get them under him.
Pipsqueak held onto the bandana, trying to keep it around the stallion’s eyes as he tried to dislodge the thing around his face.
A filly to a leg, the Crusaders were weighing down their teacher with all the strength they had.
Featherweight was zooming around his teacher’s head, having gone full-paparazzi mode. “Beautiful, Miss Cheerilee! The camera loves you!”
His poor teacher had been utterly blinded. “Kissy-poo!”
Twilight gagged.
Alan recovered just in time to force a set of arms down on Big Mac’s legs. “Almost there!”
Big Mac pushed himself up again.
“Stay down, soldier!” Alan yelled, hoping that some training was still stuck in the farmer’s mind.
The stallion pushed himself up.
And then the clock struck noon.
<<<|Ω|>>>
Twilight sighed. “Okay, that could have been much worse,” she admitted.
“Yup,” Applebloom said, doing her best to inch away.
She was stopped by Big Mac’s glare.
The Crusaders all sat in the middle of a four-way disappointed glare. Big Mac opposite Cheerilee, and Alan opposite Twilight.
“That does not excuse this behavior,” Alan said.
“Nope,” Big Mac agreed.
Rumble and Featherweight stood to one side, watching the grilling, and silently thanking Celestia they hadn’t been involved in the problem.
“I told you that I wasn’t interested in finding a special somepony. Do you know what forcing somepony to do something they don’t want to do is called?”
“Tyranny?” Sweetie Belle said.
“Among other things,” Twilight agreed.
The foals all dropped their heads. “We’re sorry...” they said in unison.
Cheerilee looked up to Alan, Alan looked over at Twilight, and Twilight looked over at Big Mac.
They all nodded.
“Alright then,” Cheerilee said. “If you are so sorry then you won’t mind helping Big Mac out with his chores today.”
There were some stifled groans, followed by “Yes, Miss Cheerilee.”
Cheerilee nodded, as both Big Mac and her lead the Crusaders away.
As they passed by, Sweetie Belle quickly broke away from the group, and headed over to Featherweight. “Thank you for helping us, Featherweight.”
He smiled. “It was no problem, really.”
“Sweetie Belle...” Cheerilee called.
“I have to go, sorry. And thanks again!”
As the foals all went their separate ways, Twilight and Alan were left in the middle of the street.
The lavender unicorn sighed. “I better go talk to Fluttershy. She’s probably taking this real hard.”
Alan nodded. “I’ll go ahead and head home, run the library while you’re away.”
She nodded. “Thanks, Alan.”
Alan smiled, before kissing the tip of her nose. “For you? It’s a labor of love, no thanks necessary.”
She smiled and shook her head. “You’re incorrigible.”
“Did you expect anything else?” Alan asked.
She laughed, before heading to the forest to comfort the heartbroken pegasus.
Alan watched her go, before heading back to the library.
As he approached the old oak, he was surprised to see a very familiar pegasus mare delivering the mail. “Derpy? Is that you?”
The mare looked up at him with golden eyes. “Oh! Hi, there Mr. Alan!”
“When did you get back?” Alan asked.
“Oh, we haven’t!” she answered.
Alan blinked.
“We don’t actually get back for another...” she trailed off as she checked the date, “two years.”
Alan cocked his head. “Then what are you doing here?”
Derpy smiled. “Well it turns out that our daughters have been seen around Ponyville before I and the Doctor got married, so we’re just trying to patch up some timelines.”
Alan blinked. “Well...con...gratulations?”
“Thank you!” she said, before she handed him a letter. “By the way, I’d suggest you read this.”
Alan took the letter.
“Have fun!” Derpy said, before flying off.
Alan watched her go, before looking down at the letter.
From Blueblood.
Alan looked back up to the retreating pegasus.
Should one question the wisdom and knowledge of a time traveler?
Probably not.
Alan opened the letter.
“Dear Pendragon Alan Goldenhooves,
I realize that you are a very busy stallion. It makes perfect sense that you may have forgotten to get back to me this time last year concerning...”
Alan read on.
And then he smiled.
Have fun indeed.
<<<|Ω|>>>
The Mane Six sat in Twilight’s library, each having been called by Alan. They listened intently, sipping drinks as Alan explained his little scheme.
He had the biggest grin on his face.
“Prince Blueblood obviously does not know who I am,” he said.
“What do you mean by that?” Rarity asked.
“Simply, he thinks I’m important. Somepony who needs to be impressed.”
“And?” Twilight asked.
“And he means to impress me at the Grand Galloping Gala this year.”
The mares gave each other a look. “You’re not going are you?” Dash asked.
“I mean, the Gala was so boring...”
“I know,” Alan said. “I plan to change that.”
Now he had their attention.
“Imagine, if you will, this Prince. He feels the need to impress a stallion, and this stallion feels the need to completely quote-unquote ‘wreck’ the Gala. Imagine everything he wishes the Gala was going to be, being torn apart in front of him. Imagine him having to give that stallion the Gala the stallion wants, rather than what the Prince wants.”
Rarity began to smile.
“Imagine the Gala you wanted, Pinkie, imagine the party that you were expecting. Imagine the Prince having to give it to you.”
Rarity smiled wider.
“Imagine all those prim and proper ponies being forced to eat ‘simple’ apple pies. Imagine all those ponies had to loosen up a bit.”
“Well, Darling, you have certainly convinced me,” Rarity said.
“I’m glad,” Alan said. “My little ponies, allow me to teach you the secret human technique of ‘Stop, Drop, and Troll.’”
<<<|Ω|>>>
“Yoohoo! Spike!” Rarity called to the dragon as he walked through Ponyville’s main square.
Spike looked over to her, and stopped to let the fashionista catch up to him.
As the mare approached, Spike noted the mischievous gleam in her eyes. This...could be bad for him...
“Hello, Milady,” Spike greeted, giving her a short bow. “What can I do for you?”
“Always such the gentledrake,” Rarity commented, as she walked up next to him. “Well, Spike, Alan received a letter of invitation to the Grand Galloping Gala.”
“Oh?”
“Yes. However, considering the smashing success the last one was, he plans to make a few...changes to the schedule.”
“Sounds fun,” Spike said.
“Which is exactly why I’m going, too,” she said with a smirk. “And I would be honored if you were to escort me.”
Spike blinked. “Really?”
“Of course, dear. First off, it will appear far less suspicious if we all went in pairs, and secondly, I do believe it’s my turn to pick the date.”
Spike smiled. “Hey, now. That’s cheating.”
“Actually, dear, you’ll find it’s not. You failed to mention anything concerning how we pick our sorties.”
Spike gave a playfully indignant snort, sending a few puffs of smoke into the air, before nuzzling the unicorn. “If you say so.”
Rarity smiled. “I do say so. Now I’m probably going to need your help at the boutique, I do believe the other girls are going to require my services in a few days.”
<<<|Ω|>>>
Another day at Sugarcube Corner, another day filled with the most amazing baker in his life.
“Got any twos?” Soarin asked, looking down at his cards.
“Go Fish!” Pinkie replied.
Soarin reached into the pile, and picked up a four.
The prize sat between them, a massive jar filled with gumdrops, jawbreakers, lollipops, and even a couple of candied orchids.
Of course, if she was as good at Go Fish as she was Blackjack, Poker, Darts, Tic Tac Toe, and Pin the Tail on the Pony, then he probably wasn’t getting any sweets anyway.
Pinkie smiled. “Have any fours?”
Soarin frowned, before handing over two cards.
Another four of a kind.
Soarin mentally cursed.
“Let’s make this more interesting...” Pinkie said.
“Why would I up the stakes now, I’m—” Soarin began.
“If I win, you can have the candy,” Pinkie said.
Soarin blinked.
“But, you’ll also have to take me to the Grand Galloping Gala,” she finished, smiling.
Soaring blinked again. “Oh, look at how clumsy I am!” he said, dropping the cards face up on the table.
Pinkie laughed.
<<<|Ω|>>>
Thunderlane yawned.
Man, there was nothing to do today.
Sunny skies were scheduled for the next week and a half, and Rainbow Dash had fallen out on him for their weekly sparring session.
What had gotten into her all of a sudden? She was never one to just drop things like that. Heck, he had known that before he had gotten to know her personally.
Well...something important must’ve happened...
The mohawked pegasus sighed.
So bored.
A knock sounded on his front door.
Who could that be?
As he got up, he found himself hoping it was the pegasus that had occupied his mind recently. If it was, then maybe they could still get their spar in today.
He opened the door to his cloud home, and his jaw dropped so low it hit the ground far below.
“Let’s just say, I lost a bet.” Rainbow Dash said with a smile as Thunderlane stared at her.
Her...her mane...
It had been...well...styled...
Her multi-colored locks had been straightened, before being pulled into a ponytail. Thunderlane had never seen her mane so nice.
And that was just to start.
Around her neck hung a string of pearls, and she wore a form fitting, black dress with a slit along her leg.
He also swore she was wearing makeup.
“Now, the other part of this, is I’ve got to ask you something.”
Thunderlane nodded.
“I’m going to the Grand Galloping Gala. Want to come?”
Thunderlane nodded again.
“Good. See ya around,” she said before taking off.
Thunderlane stood at his door, staring at where the mare had been standing.
“Hi...” he finally managed to say.
<<<|Ω|>>>
Just ask him. Ask him, don’t make a big deal of it, and get it over with. It's been three days, just ask him.
Say it with me, now. “Do ya want to go to the Grand Galloping Gala with me?”
Applejack stared into her mirror, and rehearsed the line again.
She had tried three times to ask him, now, but all that had gotten her was a sputtering phrase of gibberish.
“Do ya want to go to the Grand Galloping Gala with me?” she asked the mirror again.
Come on, AJ, tain’t that hard. Heck, Rainbow Dash’s already got her date, and she way more of tomcolt than you.
“Do ya want to go the the Gala with me?”
Why was she even asking?
She didn’t need anypony to take her to the Gala. She’d be just fine on her own. Nopony would care if she came alone. Nopony would even notice.
She sighed.
“Do ya want to go to the Gala with me?”
“What?” a voice asked.
Applejack nearly jumped a foot in the air as Silver spoke to her.
“Wha? Da! Dabada!”
Silver blinked. “What?”
“Ah, uh...Ah...” Applejack muttered, trying to regain control over her tongue.
Silver smirked. “Were you going to ask me something, Applejack?”
“Eeyup,” was her simple reply as she blushed.
“Interesting...” The stallion said. “Would it happen to relate to your friends looking for some dates to a specific event?”
“...Eeyup...”
“I see. Have you found a date yet, AJ?”
“Nope.”
“Are you looking for one?”
She hesitated for a second. “Eeyup,” she answered. Why was he teasing her like this?
Silver smiled. “Well...I’m sure that Pokey Pierce is free that night.”
Applejack frowned before punching him in the shoulder.
Silver laughed. “Sure, I’ll go with you, AJ.”
“Well now Ah ain’t sure I want you to,” Applejack said.
Silver laughed again.
<<<|Ω|>>>
Fluttershy was nearly hyperventilating.
She had spent four days in her cottage, trying to prepare herself for this event.
You have to do this. You have to do this now. You can’t risk some other two-bit floozy—
“It wasn’t her fault,” her conscience quickly cut in.
You can’t risk some other kind, generous mare of good standing getting her hooves on him. You have to do this now.
She walked to her front door.
And then hid behind the couch.
“What if he says no? What if he hates me for asking? What if I mess up?”
No! You have to do this now! If you wait you could lose him forever!
“But, but it’s just so fast...”
If you don’t move fast, the world will.
“Y-you’re right...I have to do this, and it has to be now.”
Fluttershy sat, taking a deep breath.
This was it.
She stood.
This was the time.
She took five determined steps toward her door.
Now or never.
She opened her door.
And instantly froze.
A large red stallion stood at her door, hoof raised to knock.
They blinked.
“Uh...” the stallion spoke first, suddenly realizing his hoof was in the air. He put his hoof down, maybe a little too quickly before speaking again. “Howdy, Miss Fluttershy.”
“Ah...um...hi,” she squeaked.
Big Mac nodded.
Fluttershy tried to disappear into her mane.
You could cut the silence between them with a dull butter knife.
“Well...?”
They broke the silence in unison.
“Big Mac.”
“Miss Fluttershy.”
“You go first,” they said to each other.
“No, you.”
Fluttershy sighed.
“Go ahead, Miss Fluttershy,” Big Mac said, taking advantage of her breath so he wouldn’t have to speak first.
“Be brave Fluttershy...”
“B-Big Mac.”
“Yes?”
“W-would you like to go to the Grand Galloping Gala with me?”
Big Macintosh let loose a breath he didn’t know he was holding. “Eeyup.”
<<<|Ω|>>>
Alan checked the time.
Three minutes late.
He really hoped Twilight wouldn't notice he was gone.
Or his ship.
The waiter for the Canterlot Cafe came by again. "Are you sure you don't need anything sir?"
"I'm fine," Alan said.
The waiter nodded and left.
Alan checked the time again.
Four minutes.
He bit his lower lip.
Oh, this was nerve-racking.
"Alan?" someone spoke, and the Pendragon looked up to see the two unicorns he was waiting for.
Alan smiled. "Mr. and Mrs. Light, I'm glad you came."
Night Light nodded. "Good to see you again, Alan."
"What did you want to talk about, dear?"
Alan took a deep breath. "Well..."
<<<|Ω|>>>
Three weeks passed and the night of the Gala arrived, and the eleven ponies, and single dragon were gathered on the deck of the Victory.
“Everyone ready for tonight?” Alan asked.
“You know it!” Thunderlane answered.
“Alright then, Fillies and Gentlecolts,” Alan said with a manic grin as the sky yacht began to rise. “Prepare yourselves, for the real Best Night Ever!”
--------------------------------
"MUFFY-DUFF!"
...Alright, guys. A bit of an early update as I try to get Kilokk ready to take over for Squiddy as he goes on a trip. And now it’s now time for Alan’s human talents to truly shine.
“But...he’s a pony...”
“Now here is a Riddle to guess if you can
Sing the Bells of Coltre Dame.
Who is the pony and who is the man?
Sing the Bells, Bells, Bells, Bells,
Bells, Bells, Bells, Bells,
Bells of Coltre Dame!”
Thank you, Pinkie. As a reward, you’re going to have a lot of fun
“Finally! The party I’ve always dreamed of!”
And much, much more.
Next time, Chapter 33, The Real Best Night Ever!
“Be sure to leave us the usual, and see you next time.”
Bye!
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Fun stuff. I love how you're incorporating the episodes in.
Oh my god... I always love it when Blueblood gets pissed off.
This is going to be fcking awesome.
This is gonna be a scream.
Bluebloods, to be exact.
Nice chapter, but the timeskips--or what looked like timeskips to me, anyway--were a bit confusing. What all was going on in there, and when?
Sorry about anything I missed guys! Life's been a bit hectic for me, and I wanted to make sure it got done today, otherwise it would have been almost a week for me to get it back to Miner.
Just blame him. He hits me when I go to slow >.<
I have bruises...
Big Mac, the immovable object when he wants to be, and the unstoppable force once he gets moving.
it's surprising to me that, out of everything that happened in this chapter, that was the part that I felt the urge to comment on.
Oh this is going to be so much fun. You my good sir have perfectically shipped everyone of the characters, (again)
2763747
Thank you,
2763715
Trying to make the smaller skips more...comprehensible.
Three things... one :
It sounds like he just hit the blunt...
Two:
and this...
........... If not for the fact that you don't write either, I would assume that was clop or something akin to that infamous pastry story with our favorite baker mare in it...
Three:
because I couldn't find this anywhere... i made this pic at 1 Am pbs.twimg.com/media/BNa1TVICUAAlL2G.jpg:large
lulz?
-TKM
The Hunchback of Canterlot.
2763836
Hm...now I need a punny name for Notre Dame...
HOLY FUCK THIS IS GOING TO BE GREAT!
I see that you plan on having the girls get revenge on all of those... Stuck up nobles and such who ruined their time at the Gala. I really... REALLY, look forward to the next chapter. It seems to be a blast.
AT LAST!
...You has made me happy.
2763875 Hmmm how about Coltre Mane?
Gah! The stairs thing! It's always the stairs! They were supposed to be a trap/stalling tactic!
Got a couple major critiques for you, if you're at all interested:
I don't know how much you know; but in my experience, trying to use someone's Post Traumatic Stress Disorder to motivate them rarely ends well. On top of that, it looks like Fluttershy's got it pretty bad.
Slow down in your chapters. Don't be afraid to break them up. Perhaps you have a plan. But part of what made the story so much fun to read before the Discord arc was seeing how Alan could weave himself into the episodes while practicing to become Pendragon. You didn't skip out on a whole lot of details. Lately, we've been blowing through season two episodes with huge gaps of time missing. A chapter dedicated to Hurricane Fluttershy and another dedicated to Hearts and Hooves Day the same way you did with Sonic Rainboom and Best Night Ever would have been great. That way, we could have seen the build up and events between the group breaking up and Alan's attempts to stop Big Macintosh instead of skipping right to it. That's just one example of a couple other similar things that could have been done with this chapter had it been paced better.
Perhaps this might be reading too much into it but it looked like Alan knew what was going to happen when he heard about the Cutie Mark Crusaders getting a hold of the love poison. If that's the case, I thought his foreknowledge ended at Best Night Ever. Or is it just a simple "after giving it a moment to sink in it hits them" type of thing?
I'm so glad someone finally thought to trap Big Mac's legs and blindfold him. Every time I see this story revisited in Human In Equestria, nobody ever thinks to do that and it always seemed so obvious to me.
We could definitely have seen Twilight's comforting Fluttershy.
Second-degree rape?
That works too.
I did enjoy the way you showed each of the characters setting up their dates.
*Conscience
Conscious is a state of being awake.
And as long as we're quoting Disney songs - allow me to share my thoughts at the end of the chapter:
I look once more
Just around the riverbend
Beyond the shore
Where the gulls fly free
Get that chapter out soon and let's see what you've got!
2763836 Notre Dam?
1)Side effects of what?
2)Several inside jokes/references that have no precedence.
2764262
Oh please, Alan and Twilight are unicorns. Just freaking levitate them so they have no leverage and it doesn't matter HOW strong they are!
2764298
I probably forgot about that fact because that's never been the case before either.
You're right
There must be fire, and potatoes, and chocolate... potatoes. Maybe a few umbrellas, made of tea.
2764420 Yeah, everyone just forgets all about TK when they are planning combat scenes. Used properly TK is way OP.
Twist a door knob=Twist a wing.
Pick an apple=Pull out an eyeball.
hodor
Still as intriguing as ever!
It appears that this will go not so well for a certain snobbish stallion.
Will that ruin their diplomatic relationship?
Awaiting further releases.
LOOK AT HOW CLUMSY I AM!!!
Lol Soarin', you smooth operator.
Recently, I keep worrying that Dungeonminer is going to run out of ideas and stagnate the story. But I'm liking the direction things seem to be going.
I'm ready for the Festival of Fools!
When I read the thing about Blueblood's letter to Alan, I imagined Pendragon's reaction like this:
And when I got to the part where he was sharing his plans for the Gala, I was like this:
I believe you meant managed?
2764262
The stairs thing was a joke, one I liked, alright. It doesn't need to be "canon" here.
2764298
I thought the thing that caused the side effects was pretty clear considering the context.
And what inside jokes are you talking about?
And for both of you: Alan can't use telekinesis. It's too...refined for him. He uses mana hands to pick everything up.
2764298 Well, DM it seems we have a winner!
So you turn him into a pony.....
DOWN VOTED I'M OUT.....
2765238
Um, there WAS no context... that was kind of my point.
Yeah, it's the same thing. They are both methods of picking someone/something up and suspending them in the air where they have no leverage/traction.
2765535 That's a shame... It is still quite good after the change. Well to each their own I suppose.
Hunchback theme? Woohoo!
Hellfire, dark fire; now prince it is your turn. Choose fun or thy pyre; reform or you will burn!
Comedy roast, anyone?
>>>Twilight said, picking up her anemometer as she exited the door. >>>
It is a little known fact that anemometers' original purpose was to gauge the power levels of anemones. However, this proved to be a rather useless function and so they were adapted instead to measure wind speed.
cdn.memegenerator.net/instances/400x/25090299.jpg
>>>“I told you that I wasn’t interested in finding a special somepony. Do you know what forcing somepony to do something they don’t want to do is called?”>>>
Obamacare?
As the Troll King, I seriously couldn't pass that up!
Congratulations! You were the first one ever to make me crack up this fast xD
A decent chapter. It was a quick interlude but necessary nonetheless. Look forward to Alan trolling Blueblood!
Something tells this pony this is going to be as epic as... -Fishes for suitable analogy- As.... -keeps fishing for a moment- I got nothing...
Can't wait for the next chapter though! 
2765515
How is it now?
I will agree that the first three chapters are nothing special. They are rather boring as well as dry, but I was trying to build a backdrop for the next chapters. The beginning was more a means to an end.
Sir, how did you get so damn good at this?
2783693
Practice, practice, practice, reading through a grammar book, reading through a dictionary, reading a few good novels, an overactive imagination, and the rule of "Show, don't tell."
...
But mostly practice.
2784108
Hey thanks man.
Right, busy week ended... time to do some catching up.
_____________
And now I've gone through the chapter I can start giving some feedback:
Firstly this little bit felt so... forced. More like you wanted to add in something to give Alan "a character flaw" to try and keep cries of "Marty Stu!" at bay. However, that moment just felt so... weird to me. The moment didn’t flow naturally.
Err... also... really? Alan’s thinking about marriage? ...it just... it just felt out of place. I just don’t feel like they’re in far enough of a relationship to start thinking about this. Now, since they’re teenagers, true teenager that have done some crazy stuff but still teenagers, I can see them thinking that they’re so “In wove” that they (or I guess Alan really I’m sorta lumping Twi in this as well... sorry Twi!) just have to get married because they’re in wooove with each other. Sure, that works because that’s something that teenagers do... a lot. However, I was waiting for you to have someone older and with more experience (especially about relationships) to sit Alan down and talk to him about rushing things, being young blah blah blah, and everything else. I was just waiting for someone to do it... *cough* maybe a certain baker that Alan went to for advice *cough* ...and no one did. :/
Then there’s the two episodes. Well... the Hurricane Fluttershy was quick and seemed more to serve as a reminder that Fluttershy and Big Mac are kinda a thing so it could fit into the next bit with the CMC. As a set up mechanic it works, especially since it’s taking Fluttershy and keeping some of the growth that she’d have taken during the war.
That was a really good idea... however the Hearts and Hooves Day... well...
personally I wasn’t a fan of Alan butting in on this. I felt like he needed to get out of the CMCs episodes. Sure, Alan’s a big part of the story but he doesn’t need to be around for everything. Whenever there’s a problem Alan always seems to get involved, and he always seems to be involved with the final solution too... it really... is boring me. Especially when this episode really didn’t change much from the original. It just adds in Alan, which... in my opinion really took away from it.
Since your chapter/episode was pretty much the same as FiM’s with Alan added in my mind immediately began comparing yours to theirs... see what made past episodes work for me was that when you wrote them there would be a distinct difference between the show and your work which helped create distance between the two and let your work not get the “show comparison eyeball.” Since you really only had Alan’s participation as the difference in the story this chapter feel victim to the “show comparison.” At least with me it did.
Also the reason I haven’t mentioned the Fluttershy bit in the episode is because... well I didn’t feel like it really impacted the story in any significant way. You could have taken it out of the Hearts and Hooves bit and I don’t think the story would have changed at all. Which is kinda disappointing because after you had the intro with Hurricane Fluttershy and the note that, “Hey Big Mac and Fluttershy are a couple” I was hoping to see something become of that... but really all that gets pushed to the side after Fluttershy 1st sees “the new happy couple.”
...also wouldn’t Applebloom have known that Big Mac was interested in Fluttershy? I mean it’s not exactly a secret that the two of them have been seeing each other and since the CMC spent a while hunting for single stallions I feel like Appleboom would have known, or at least suspected. I think this is something that could have used some clarification as to why red flags didn’t go off in her brain about, “wait... he’s taken.”
Also, I’m not sure you need to have the mane 6 asking out their dates. We know who they’re going with and I don’t think we need to see that. It just felt like filler and I ended up skimming most of it. Though, I did pause to read the Pinkie part and it did make me smile so points there.
I guess a word of advice I would have would be asking yourself: “Do I need this scene? What does it add to my story and what would happen if I took it out?”
Oh, also... you have me wondering... just where is this story taking us and when does it end? You've past several points where I felt, "ah! We're ending here. Maybe another story after this, but this one itself is done." Personally I feel like you're on "Book 3" at this point.
Right... well this is my... thing... take... whatever... on this latest update. Slightly over 800 words... if only I could put this kinda commitment to my own writing. /sigh
2786189
Concerning Alan and Twi's relationship, they been living in the same house for four years. (...they're also like 20 something...)
Concerning the Hearts and Hooves Day episode, it's actually the fear of losing him that gets Flutters the courage to go ask Big Mac.
2786606 ...wait... wut...
...how on earth do you figure that? There's been major time change? I haven't felt like there's been a major jump anywhere. It feels like a year or so has passed, at most.
Also, going from roommates to dating, to maybe married is still a HUGE jump/change in relationships... one I'm not sure Alan would be properly set for and still think an adult would sit him down and just make sure he's actually thinking about things.
Plus... why has he lived for Twilight for 4 years and never even bothered thinking about getting his own place? I get why he wouldn't necessarily NOW, but honestly after a couple of months I'd expect him to try and get his own place so he doesn't impose on Twilight's or Spike's hospitality. That actually is one reason why I never suspected that 4 years have past. Time passing? Sure, a year maybe. But... not actually 4 years.
...Also why don't the CMC have their Cutie Marks yet? 4 years and they still don't know what their special talent is? And why hasn't their classroom setting changed at all? And why do they still act like kids if they're either young teenagers or pre-teenagers?
I just... don't believe your statement that 4 years have past when I look at what you've written...
2786723
Year 1: Alan arriving-Gala
Year 2: Gala-Mid War
Year 3: Mid War-Wedding
Year 4: Wedding-Gala
2786743 You might have it in your head that that's the timeline, but I really haven't read anything in the story that supports your claim.
2786839
It's mostly been the passing of seasons. Since I don't have an actual date as to when Alan arrived.
There was "The Winter before the Wrap Up" for winter, then the Winter for the war. (it was the vacation time.)
The third winter was glossed over, focusing on the third summer instead (The wedding).
And just in this chapter I said:
It's been four years. Admittedly, you may have had to be paying attention to catch it, but yeah, four years.
2786872 That's... pretty subtle. Also besides those lines there's nothing really to suggest that as much time has passed as you've suggested. Your characters have changed and experienced things, but there's been nothing to suggest their growth and experiences are far greater than we've seen.
Also Alan, Twilight, the CMC, and every other character haven't grown... and I mean that physically. Physically they've remained the same... but after 4 years they'd have changed. The CMC and Spike especially since they'd be going through the biggest growth spurts, though everyone else would still have undergone changes.
For 4 years your characters have, essentially, remained locked in time and unchanged beyond what we have seen. But if 4 years have passed there's a TON of stuff that we won't have seen. Arguments, making up, disagreements, jokes, stories, storms, sunny days that are so hot you can't do anything but lay around and hope to Celestia that you don't have to go to work, parties, going out with friends, reading books... you know... life. This stuff, these experiences change people. Especially when you're younger and these experiences are a greater percentage of their life (if you're 16 4 years is 1/4 of your life.) These things change people, especially when you realize what you want to do with your life or discover what you're good at. With the characters so stagnant I end up ignoring the single sentences that say, "X amount of time has passed" because there's nothing backing it up and it feels more like an editing error rather then a correct fact.
2788150
If it's too be believed that every season equates one year, then the CMC have essentially stayed the same for three years.
Not much growth happens in a cartoon.
However, this will be taken into account for later chapters.
2788438
Except we really can't say that each season has been 3 years in the actual world. The only thing to really suggest that 3 years have past is that it's been 3 years in real time, but that's all the evidence in support. 3 years passing might be a head cannon of yours and many other people, however I know that there are many people that don't have that as head cannon.
And even if in the show it actually has been 3 years and the characters haven't changed... then that's just lazy writing. Plain and simple. I love DHX and our writers but they've made mistakes and if 3 years really have past then that's a mistake to not show the passage of time more fluently. Pointing to the cartoon and saying, "well this is how it is there" isn't a carte blanche.