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the tentacles have seen enough velvet to know where this is going
Does Celestia know about this? Would she approve? Maybe a story where Twi 'inducts' her mentor???
Hmm. I've only seen a couple hints here and there, and I'm not entirely certain that this is true, but does anybody else have a feeling that Twilight Velvet has a thing for tentacles?
In Twilight Velvet's world, Tentacles for everyone!!!
7649821 I don't know.. I mean I can see where you're coming from with it, but I just don't think there's enough proof that Twilight Velvet has a thing for tentacles. I mean it is possible that's a thing in this story, but I would need more concrete evidence
You are fantastic.
A few things bother me about this story, most of which have been brought up in other comments. Twilight not being able to save herself from a simple fall; the level of trust violation from her friends and family that properly will need many chapters to work through; the various plot-contrivances such as being let through a security checkpoint without an escort and penetrating deep into the depths of the building just by keeping her head down.
To be clear, I love this story; I especially appreciate the internal conflict of Twilight's suspicions vs. her desires. But there is one thing that really brings me out of it; something that absolutely shatters my suspension of disbelief: ‘Doctor Horse’. It is a horrendously stupid name. It's as bad as naming a character ‘That Guy‘ or ‘Hey Bro’. I get that it's the fandom name for that character, but that just means the character hasn't received enough attention for someone to come up with something better. It's literally painful to read.
Other than that, looking forward to the next chapter!
(Also, I'm going to put it out there that Love Song may be a pseudonym for Cadance. I could be totally wrong, but I wouldn't discount the idea.)
7650750
WAIT, DOCTOR HORSE IS TIME TURNER?
HOLY SHIT, I THOUGHT IT WAS AN OC!
Seriously though, Time Turner has been known for a while. He's had an official name. Dr. Time Turner, affectionately known as Doc by Derpy.
7650783
No, the two are completely unrelated. Doctor Horse showed up as a Unicorn doctor in Read It and Weep.
7650801
Oh, whoops.
Methinks Twilight Velvet has tentacle vines on the brain... wait until she sees the new breed...
7650750 Always good to cast a little doubt on the actual ability of a known character and maybe find out why the author saw it fit for that to happen.
Now this is just personally what I think and is in no way me saying that my words are the end all be all of the story. Nor are yours, I imagine.
Anyways, as far as Twilight not being able to survive that fall. I think that Twi is mid-air and is already in a horribly panicked state. Having forgotten her saddle bags were in and they binding her wings in place, running for fear of being caught and getting in serious trouble, plus the fear that the entire Clocktower is under some evil spell. Next thing she knows she's running and jumps, starts to fall and tries to get off a teleportation spell, but then she realizes that she has zero knowledge of the layout of this place and may very well accidentally teleport herself right into the middle of a wall or something in her panic. Plus for all we know she was plummeting straight down towards water which of course at high impact and possibly head first may snap the neck. Good old worse case scenario. Luckily that all turned out alright.
As far as the, to quote your own words,
well... that in my eyes is just pure story crafting. Can't really explain it.
7651378
Contrived scenarios are best avoided in story crafting; it should make sense within the rules set up for the story.
And the trust violation thing isn't exactly a problem; it depends on how the author handles it going forward. Worst-case scenario would be brushing it off and treating it as inconsequential down the line.
Canonically, teleportation is Twilight's thing. Only one other character (Sunset Shimmer) has been shown to even know the spell, but by the third season, it's as intuitive to her as walking. She is shown using it in various scenarios where she is unfamiliar with the terrain and has no line-of-sight to her destination.
So yes, it could work that Twilight really was incapable of getting out of that situation; but it would require a lot of work to make it believable; more than was given.
Edit: Even back in season 1, Ticket Master, Twilight is shown to teleport instinctively when panicking, launching herself (and Spike) halfway across town without even thinking about it.
7649769
Best. Comment. EVER
7651430 Manifest talked about that a LOT already in the comments, about the trust issue. And it comes to, basically, "would you tell your friend you're into kinky shit without the slightest idea if said friend is even into sexual relations? Even then, KINKY SHIT." That was actually a previous chapter, the last story one if I'm not mistaken. It makes some sense. Said friend could feel left out... but then again, kinky shit. Can you be SURE it wouldn't create a wedge in the relationship? Or at least some VERY uncomfortable situations? "So, hey... yeah, we can't come to the sleepover next Friday, we'll be getting our brains screwed out while locked on pillories.". Yeah... kinda complicated.
That is, of course, about her friends telling her as their friend. The other princesses not telling her as a head of state, well... that's another matter all together. That resumes to, in my opinion, "WHAT THE FLYING APPLEFEATHER IS WRONG WITH YOU THREE?!?". They goofed BAD.
On the teleport thing, I honestly believe it has more to do with her being horny out of her mind. The whole thing is so surreal, outlandish and her deepest guilty desire that she's simply not thinking straight. Even her instincts are screaming "go get plowed!!" so hard anything else gets a backseat. My opinion only, though.
Finally, on the "getting by security and by everything by keeping her head down", again the last story chapter. She WAS supposed to be there that night. Her guides screwed up. That is also a members-only club. If you are inside and don't cause a ruckus, how is anyone going to imagine you should not be there? We are talking about thousands upon thousands. Not looking like you're out of place is actually one of the if not the most useful thing to go unnoticed.
Oh, and most important than that, it's the entire point of the story to show how much of a screw up it can be introduce someone to the hobby in a bad & uncontrolled way. Manifest said that so many times in the comments that he got tired of it, with how much we say it. Considering those things, it is rather believable, actually.
7652062
I'm not talking about what has already happened in the story; I'm fine with that. The potential problem comes in if the last story chapter is the only one where Twilight is dealing with the fallout, and she somehow forgives them all immediately in the next installment.
That could work, if there were more textual clues to that effect during that scene.
The point isn't that the guide screwed up, it's that the place itself screwed up. If someone is coming into an exclusive club on a visitor's pass, why on Earth would the guard let them in without their escort? Yeah, it was Rarity and Doctor's fault that they weren't there, but it was also very much the fault of the security checkpoint for not doing what you would usually expect a security checkpoint to do in this situation.
The contrivance here is that nobody noticed her odd behavior caused by not knowing what was going on. The worst offender is the part in the collar shop, where Twilight is a voyeur to the threesome in the private room. She's sitting there spying on them with an advanced magic technique, and nobody notices?
The skill of a writer is how well they can get their point across while making the story feel natural. ‘Bad and uncontrolled’ can be shown without horrible security and epic coincidence helping out.
7652128 about fast forgiveness, I'm willing to give the benefit of the doubt and put it on the "way too overwhelmed to think about it properly" box. Either that or way too quick rationalization. Purple horse is a pony of reason, after all.
Lack of security is kinda complicated. It is a facility with magical protection heavy twilight herself couldn't spy into it without raising magical alarms. Not only that, the guard presence is heavy. Buy the extreme traffic and assumed knowledge and consent, not to mention millenar story of the institution all conspire towards this negligence.
No one gets into the society with a pass without being invited to it, and being invited means either knowing about the activities or at the very least having present guides. It ha been so for centuries upon centuries. If someone has a pass and it's acting as they know what they're doing, even if a little nervous? Why would they interfere?
I think the problem is, we are considering the guards as there to keep people out instead of to keep everyone safe. Their job is not to harass every prospecting member of the society for their curiosity - hell, the soldier that did that would most likely be severely reprimanded. They'd only have reason to interfere if someone was blatantly violating rules or if other members/visitants called for them. Else, why would they? This is not a bank or high profile government building, it's a worldwide network of people dedicated to love, dedication and pleasure, expressed in ways whose main pillar is trust. Intrusive guards go kinda against that.
Basically, even though it was a lax behavior, I'd say it's understandable. You don't get to guard gangbanging if you but in making questions every time someone new gets into the action.
7653262
Exactly. It is supposedly not out of the ordinary at all for new members to get a visitor's pass and be shown around my a designated escort. So it should be part of regular routine to be sure the visitor is with the escort; it's dangerous for new people on their own, and the society is all about safety. Checking that a visitor is with an escort is a reasonable safety precaution that any sensible system would include.
And guards stationed in different areas carry out that duty in prescribed manners. The guards at an entrance keep people safe by making sure only those who know what they are doing are allowed in; this includes visitors only being let in with their guides, because it has been established as dangerous to wander around on their own before they know how the place works.
Checking visitors at the door isn't intrusive; it's expected. A regular pony who comes up with a visitor's pass would be grateful to the guard that helped them find the pony who's going to show them around.
7653300 valid points, indeed. But then that would be a perfect organization that never made mistakes... What would make then unrealistic and boring. Sure, the mistakes could be elsewhere, but then we would not see it and therefore it would have to be perfect to the readers. "Guards being lazy" is way more believable than those procedures but happening in the first place. Maybe they're used to the visitants to ask them for instructions, or for them to actually wait for who invited then to come get them...
You know, like normal, well balanced people. Something purple horse is NOT. She did not act like an usual newcomer, she just got in and started acting like she was a regular, albeit a somewhat skittish one. If the same guards that saw her inside where in the interior to see that, maybe they'd pay attention to that. But considering the sheer size, capacity and pony inflow? Keeping such control is rather impossible. Against someone with a minimum of infiltration knowledge, smart enough? They'd lose them at first opportunity, and no one would be none the wiser.
All in all, in the end it comes to this: perfect worlds make for boring stories. SOMETHING had to go wrong for this story to happen, and considering one of its main objectives is showing how bad it can go for someone to drop unprepared in such world, it had to do with access in some level. And it had to be a humane mistake, like guards failing somewhat at their jobs.
Important to mention that site director was involved. Doctor Horse is the Dom leader in this tower. It was by the 'big boss' words that they left sparkle alone. Maybe they'd be more attentive not for that. Actually, that could well come up in the next chapter, since the last sorry one ended with another director calling him up on it and blatantly saying there was a security failure, and it was good fault. When the story itself takes mistakes into consideration calls up on them, at least something is being done right.
Interesting to know, academically. Further, yay! Pets~ Also, do subs have an indicator of what guild type things they're in? Because I would love to be a scientist for the Clocktower Research Laboratories, but totally prefer to sub. Aaaand, I'm sorry for my endless questions. Its just that this is an awesome series, and I am really curious, and love world building for stuff. And I may or may not have suggested using the Clocktower society as a situation for rps with a couple of my "Friends".
7652062
It's not so much the admittance of the fetish that is the problem, but the fact that when Twilight announced her plan to investigate the tower, they didn't tell her what was up with it.
T: "I'm going to investigate the clocktower!"
R:"Oh that? It's no mystery darling. It's a sex club"
T:"What?"
R:"A sex club. Ponies of various fetishes, primarily those liking BDSM and the like, go their to have 'fun', and meet ponies who share similar interests."
T:"How do you know about it?"
R:"I asked *Shrug*"
T:"Why haven't I heard about it before now?"
R:"Ponies keep their sex lives private Darling. Look if you're curious, it won't be too hard to get ahold of some guest passes. You can explore to your heart's content, and I'll be with you every step of the way, so you don't need to worry about feeling awkward or having to reject an unwanted advance."
Or something like that. Boom, no panic, no worries about admitting your fetish, and most importantly, very few lies.
7664103 but then that'd be a completely rational and lacking in both white drama and lavender craziness. What kind sick world has them act like that!?!
In all seriousness though, people make mistakes. And mistakes lead to good stories, for without hiccups that trip you did last summer becomes a nice but bland and forgotten memory.
The one you spent five hours waiting for your cousin come back with a new tire, lost your reservations thus having to stay in a minus three star motel and then had it rain a week straight... Only for the last day to have the most beautiful vistas you've ever seen? That's the one you will tell your grandchildren about.
Basically, if people where perfect there wouldn't be stories. And I'll take human mistakes and behavior over plot shenanigans any day of the week.
I have to say I love the world you've built here. Knowing the intimate (pun intended) details of a secret society gives me a feeling of being part of a secret society myself; especially during the story chapters that follow the relevant manuals where the reader can look down on Twilight and think "ah, but those of us in the know could tell you..."
Since everyone else is trying their best to poke holes in the setting, especially regarding how Twi got in and what portion of the population is involved, I thought I'd have a go myself. If one of the society's members is (as mentioned in the comments but not the story) Princess Luna, why would she struggle in Luna Eclipsed to understand ponies enjoying fear? She would certainly be familiar with submissives getting pleasure from "negative" emotions, fear included. Aside: I'm hoping that Manifest Harmony is taking it as a compliment that readers care enough to even ask these questions.
In lighter news, why do the masks need to code for orientation? Surely this can be determined by location: if you weren't interested in mare subs, you wouldn't be in Clocktower East, you'd be in West. Unless it's coding for the gender of another dom they'd like to share a sub with, which I very much doubt ever happens without a lot of prior discussion and/or a close relationship with the other dom. (And the code for tentaclesexuals, of course, but, as Twilight Velvet said, who isn't?)
There seams to be a lot of reference to Tentacles in both the chapter and comments.
Tentacles
i0.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/original/000/298/686/584.gif
MYBODYISREADY
7431990 Then where the fuck is Spike? I ctrl F'd each chapter and only found his name in the comments.
7432168 Fuck that. According to the character tags, Rarity plays a huge part in this secret kink society, and you're wasting your fucks on Twilight's feelings? I only scanned this stupid thing to see if Rarity had Spike on a leash or tied to a bedpost somewhere.
7650265 And everyone for tentacles.
7682863 Spike is a child. Children cannot consent. Therefore, no Spike.
Really hope we get to visit the Pet Park at some point.
Someone likes tentacles
8309335
Was about to say. You beat me to the punch.
I'll go make more. Do we have any bananas left?
It is a shame that the guild I'm most interested in (tentacle keepers) has hardly anything on it here.