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My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
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Christ, is Twilight's whole family in on it, and no one's told her? Man, I gotta echo another commenter's sentiments: ponies that supposedly love and care about Twilight are treating her like a little child. I find myself both dreading and anticipating the drama and fallout from this. Also I like how this couple's dialogue is all video-gamey. Nice.
7431990 Yeah... like, everyone knows about this place but her. When it finally outs I can imagine her feeling rather... hurt? Okay, that's kind of understating it; this is Twilight here.
7432168
Meanwhile, on the opposite side of the spectrum:
Warning, NSFW Pinkie Pie activities!
Honest to god gaming parents. . .
I came ;)
7432308 Mash that face with BibleThump (TwilyThump?) and you'll have her reaction C:
Oh boy, I'm sensing a mind break in Twilight's near future. Bad enough she's about to learn dirty secrets about her friends, but her mother as well?
It seems like her friends and family have been doing this for years, but apparently decided to just leave her out of everything. That's some serious rejection by a lot of ponies whom she believed cared for her. It's no wonder she thinks they're all under a spell. Poor Twilight, that's pretty fucking rough.
As promised. From an abstract/kinky position this is a wonderful look at the side we're not seeing to the Clocktower-based society in character with Twilight, especially including Violet's use of the break-out, an excellent out-scene reaction showing the continuation of love (and pushiness) that has nothing to do with the D/s output... I applaud!
As a side note, I think you may end up wanting to separate the sidestories into an anthology if the mods permit, later; I would have suggested the same for the IC-writing pieces like I did for Diversion Excursions and whenever I work up the courage to include Twilight's essay on where 'Bitch' and 'Sissy' come from in a reformed/reforming matriarchal society, except for one solid point: the IC-writing pieces help illuminate what Twilight is seeing and contrast her internal perceptions with the external reality. Having a lot of side trips like the MILF, excuse me, milk mares can be illuminating too; it's definitely providing a contrast with what we saw in the claiming negotiation scene last story chapter. If you can keep that tightness up, you won't need to (my own answer to lump or split has been 'some' so far), but I hope that the tightness of your connections between main-story and side-story elements are indicative of a plan to keep it that way. Honestly, even if not, hey, great instincts and keep it up!
Now, that being said, I've noticed people going back and forth about the likelihood of the number of Mane and main/side castmembers participating. Some of it seems like the POV of people who don't understand kink and the scene, and how it impacts psychology. Someone as shy as Fluttershy could be kinky as all get-go, and her Stare, or even her pilot-persona actions of decisiveness and kindness could actually be a sign of being a dom or a switch who goes with the smother-you-with-love, alternate-with-stern momma mistress RP persona.
I speak from personal experience on shyness and kink; I'm very shy RL and I'm very much a dom, though not a Flutterstyle. I certainly wasn't the only one, and there are valid psychosocial reasons for that split. For subs, it's even more so. One of the elements of BDSM, especially with things like the masks for doms/switches and the numbers for subs, is the freeing of one's inner desires in a scene; to let go and either indulge behind the mask, or let someone else take over responsibility for indulgence.
However, I think one of the reasons that you're getting a large number of reactions isn't based off of that, or the percentage of named characters; it's the percentage of viewpoint characters. Remember, a lot of named characters aren't even named out loud or have speaking parts. Some aren't even named in the show at all, but in subsidiary merchandise. So you're running into a suspension of disbelief debt. Characters that are either primary, like the Six, important-canon or important-fanon like Velvet and Love Tap respectively, are great draws for a story, but you're having them all participate in something that's supposed to be a secret. Think of them as being symbols of demographics rather than individual ponies and you'll see where that SoD debt is coming from.
That being said, it sounds like you have excellent reasons IC to have it that way, such as wanting to be close to the tower. Just because teleportation is a possibility doesn't mean it's always going to be the best option-- another thing this chapter makes clear in a nicely subtle way, btw, kudos!-- and there's something to be said for wanting your home to be near where a good chunk of your heart resides (and your loins, but the metaphor's getting stretched like the happy ending to a date between Troubleshoes and a Breezy there). If I'm reading some of the earlier chapters correct, this is pretty close to the cave of Warming, too, so regardless of whether it's a religious leaning or cultural, having people migrate or stay who aren't a part of the government makes logical sense.
That said, much like the SoD debt on "they love Twilight but haven't brought her in socially" angle, you're going to need to pay it off. I highly encourage you to pay it off like you have so far-- relatively subtle hints and the occasional diversion. I know you're getting pinged with it a lot now, but one of the things that burnt out my update schedule for a while that still hasn't recovered is that I was talking up Twi as a super-dommy switch in Hunting Season, and realized that because she was only interacting with the Sisters and Hopper, she was pretty much only exploring her sub-side. So I wrote Twilight's Thrones, which I'm proud of, but it was the start of me getting really distracted from my main thrust of the storyline and ended up tying me into literary knots.
So even though this IS something to deal with, I'd keep it slow and spread out; maybe a flashback chapter for Dashie or Flutters when they're talking to Twilight-- hell, even telling them her their story/stories would make for a good framing device!-- since they didn't just stay in town the way Rarity or AJ would have, they moved. Then having a throwaway line or two for the others, and save their full-on stories for when you either complete your main arc or just feel like you need a change to write a side story. Incidentally, since the kink is connected to Hearth's Warming and a literal spark of friendship, perhaps a contradiction of what 7428089 pointed out, that their association is nigh-random save for the Elements could be a useful story metaphor: the cultic side is correct, and elements of the kink play and kinky behaviors of consent and exchange are invisible ties that either assist or are a part of Harmony.
Mmm, plot and worldbuildy. I would also recommend copying the question that gets repeated a lot-- and your answer, which is pretty well thought out-- and pasting it into a blog that you tag to here, with the answer behind a page_break and possibly spoiler tags, too. You could refer to that by link, either below the fold in your description, or in response to people bringing it up again.
On TwiFam/Friends, you're still going to have partial SoD-debt even with "it's hard to talk about your kids to" because that's for us. For an organization that's over a thousand years old-- substantially, since the founding was pre-Discord, let alone pre-NMM-- it's probably something that could be worked out. You're going to have a tough needle to thread, especially since shy-inexperienced Twi has become a large cliche. I'd lean on her monomania and idealism, which we do see as being maintained even as S6 princess. Much like with her adventuring life, entering into the Clocktower society could honestly even reinforce the latter, since hey, good ponies here too-- lots of good ponies!
Having Cadance say that one of the reasons they had to wait was an assessment that she and Celestia made after a few attempts failed-- and possibly flashing back to those-- could also be useful tools to make Twilight feel more whoops, ooohhhhhhh rather than conspired against, as long as it doesn't feel like Cadance is berating her for missing those moments. I recommend much snuggles, but I suspect that's on the menu anyway. :)
Can I just say I LOVE Love Tap and High Score's interaction here?
Seriously, if I ever get married, it will be to a girl I can have geeky banter with.
Christ on a bike. Gamers do not like talk like this.
7448756 ....... I am a gamer, and I admit to talking like that.
Don't judge me.....
7448756 i am a gamer and i talk like that lol..
Filthy casual
LOVE sniffled
While I am most certainly enjoying this story and the world it's built, I've been ignoring the errors that have come up here and there. But after that disclaimer in the beginning, no more.
Love how Button's dad is even more of a gamer than him. Really cute, especially the way Love Tap doesn't role her eyes or show any signs of annoyance. This is who he is and she adores him for it.
Twilight Velvet isn't white...
remove
Not that I'm not enjoying these naughty chapters, but will you be bringing us back to Twilight soon? I'm eager to see what she's gotten herself into.
Awww, sweet loving play is the very best kind!