Chapter 49
The sky was filled with crystal pegasi. Gosling felt his flagging spirit lifted in very much the same way that his body would be lifted on an updraft. He soared. Over a thousand miles in under sixteen hours had a way of wearing a pony out. A guard with good conditioning was expected to be able to make this sort of flight, but Gosling had been in a battle earlier. He was sore, he was tired, his wings were full of cuts, and his lingering inner ear issues made flying a little difficult. Changes in elevation and pressure made his head hurt.
Five centuries of crystal pegasi, or a quinquagenaria fell into formation around them. Gosling could not help but feel pride at seeing both his brothers and sisters in arms. Under most circumstances, he was a telegraph operator, a member of the chair force, but because of recent events, he had played the part of a soldier.
He glanced over at Hush, who had Seville hanging from a sling beneath him. Hush didn’t even seem tired. It wasn’t fair. Hush wasn’t tired, he wasn’t breathing hard, and Gosling suspected that the draconic pegasus crossbreed could keep flying for days if he had to, not even needing sleep. Turning his head, he looked over at Captain Hotspur. The captain looked worn out, tired, and in desperate need of rest.
The Crystal Empire loomed large before them. Rest and relaxation would happen soon. Gosling wasn’t sure what he wanted to do first—sleeping or eating. Of course, given how things tended to turn out, he would probably end up in the infirmary before either of these things.
“By the grace of alicorns, it’s beautiful,” Seville said as he snapped a picture with his camera. “I’ve never been to the Crystal Empire. This is amazing. Wait… wait, Hush, I need some elevation… I sense a perfect shot coming on!”
Making no response, Hush flapped his bat-like wings, angled himself upwards, and gained some elevation at Seville’s request. The earth pony, who looked so very tired and bleary eyed, found renewed vigour at the chance to snap a perfect picture.
The perfect opportunity for a picture presented itself. A white alicorn stallion came tearing out of the clouds, moving along at a great rate of speed. Gosling did a double take, confused, he freaked out a bit before realising that he was seeing Shining Armor with a wing spell. It was one of the most amazing things that Gosling had ever seen. Shining Armor flew as if he had been born with wings.
As Princess Cadance approached, Private Gosling stood at attention, or did his best to do so. He was exhausted. It took real effort to stand at attention. Something about putting his hooves on the ground had made his fatigue settle in. His armor felt heavy, it pinched, and rubbed him in all of the wrong places. He was sweaty, dehydrated, and starving to death.
But he was also happy.
“This is unexpected,” Cadance said as she drew near. “Of all the various outcomes predicted, it was Princess Luna who proved correct.”
Gosling’s right eyebrow arched. “Correct?”
“We discussed the various outcomes of this operation. Princess Luna suggested that you would deliver your dispatches. She was the only one of us who foresaw this outcome. Personally, I thought you’d return to Canterlot.” Cadance came to a halt and drew herself up to her full height. “I was wrong, and so was Princess Celestia.”
“I am full of surprises.” Gosling allowed a bit of a smile to spread over his muzzle as he spoke. “I am also glad that I didn’t let Princess Luna down. She’s a tough nut to crack. I still don’t know how to win her over.”
Now smiling herself, Cadance nodded, took a step forwards, and looked Captain Hotspur in the eye. “You have done well, Captain Hotspur. Remaining with Private Gosling to personally look after his safety is commendable. Your record states that you are a formidable fighter. I for one would like to thank you for looking after him, as I was able to reassure Princess Celestia that all would be well. She is beside herself with worry right now.”
“I’s glad that I did not disappoint,” Hotspur replied as he bowed his head.
Hearing the clatter of hooves, Gosling turned and saw Shining Armor, now wingless. Shining Armor moved with slow dignity. His armor had a mirror finish and seeing the perfect, flawless armor made Gosling feel untidy and slovenly. His own armor was crusted over with blood and blood stop powder. He smelled smokey, sweaty, and he was no doubt stinky. He was ashamed to even be standing in front of Cadance and he felt a sudden, stabbing, panic inducing sense of self consciousness. Right now, he wasn’t pretty.
“I have sent word to Canterlot that promotions are in order, Captain Hotspur.” Shining Armor came to a halt before the weary captain. “I am pleased with how everything turned out. Everything went much better than expected. I understand that you’ve even made some very important captures.”
Captain Hotspur stood silent for a moment, his face grim, and when he spoke, his voice was low and gritty. “In all honesty, Sir, it was Private Gosling who kept our most important capture alive. Former Captain Tarbean… I was gonna has him beaten to death by Hush in front of the troops to leave a lasting impression on them so they know what we do with traitors and turncoats. A hooves on lesson.”
“I appreciate your honesty, Captain Hotspur. Come with me. We have much to discuss. I need to know everything that happened.” Shining Armor turned and looked at Hush. “Take Seville to the infirmary. Some of those bandages look soaked through with blood.”
Once more, Shining Armor moved, this time he looked at Gosling. “You too… you go with Hush. Let the doctors have a look at you. You look like you’re about to drop dead of exhaustion.” The white stallion gave a nod. “You are dismissed.”
It was almost over. It was time to get checked out and then maybe some rest. Gosling slumped and as he did so, his armor rattled. He gave Shining Armor a weary smile and watched as Shining Armor and Hotspur both walked away.
Alone, Gosling gobbled down everything that he could stuff into his mouth. There was no need for manners, no need to behave, he was far too hungry and far too exhausted to care. He had been checked over by the doctors and then shooed out of the infirmary. Seville and Hush both had been kept.
He guzzled down a whole bottle of Cadance~Cola, belched loud enough to make the plates on the table rattle, and then cracked open a bottle of Luna~Cola. The contents of the bottle vanished in just a few swallows, Gosling belched again, and then he tore into a cold vegetable and dip platter with gusto. He didn’t even much care for spinach dip, but he was hungry. He stuffed broccoli, carrots, celery, cauliflower, and bell pepper sticks into his mouth, crunched them a few times, and almost swallowed them whole.
Smacking his lips, the creamy spinach dip left him thirsty. He popped the top off of a Celestia~Cola, tipped it back, and allowed the ice cold soda to slide down his throat. The faint, somewhat bitter flavour of tamarind somehow made the citrusy soda taste even sweeter.
“Hiya, Mistah Goose!”
It was too late, Flurry Heart came at the worst possible moment. Gosling let fly with an enormous belch, his lips curling back from his teeth and his nostrils flaring. The little yearling filly laughed as he cut loose.
“Yucko!”
“‘Scuse me,” Gosling said to Flurry as he tried to show some sort of decorum. “What are you doing here?”
Flurry turned around, peered out of the door, looked left, then looked right, then turned back around to look at Gosling. “I got away from my nanny. She’s no fun. Booooring!”
“Heh.” Gosling let out a chuckle as Flurry approached the table. He helped her climb into a chair beside him and Gosling found that he was quite enamoured with the little filly. He looked forwards to being a father.
“I wanna be a guard,” Flurry said in a matter-of-fact voice.
“You need a helmet,” Gosling replied, “otherwise, your brains will get scrambled. Trust me, I know. I was just in a big fight, and hoo-wee, am I glad I had a helmet.”
Flurry’s brows furrowed and the little filly looked quite serious. She peered up at Gosling through narrowed eyes, looking a bit put out, and then folded her forelegs over her barrel as her lower lip began to protrude in a pout.
Tired, but in good humour, Gosling gave Flurry a nudge. “Hey, don’t be so sad lookin’. I can help you.”
“You can?”
“I think so.”
Gosling had an idea. Extending a foreleg, he grabbed a crystal melon. He grabbed a knife and gripped it in his fetlock. He stabbed it into the melon, made a few quick cuts, and then set it down upon the table. Now opened, he scooped out the insides with a spoon, and then began gobbling down the sweet, sticky, wet chunks of yellow-orange melon flesh.
As he worked, Flurry watched with great interest.
He cut several holes into the melon rind, two big holes, perfect for ears, one small hole, perfect for a horn, and then two more holes. He then cut two curved horns from a leftover piece of melon rind. He jammed the ends into the two holes, gave them a test wiggle, saw that they were secure, and then a weary, worn out look of satisfaction appeared upon his muzzle.
With a wet sounding plop, he put the melon helmet on Flurry Heart’s head. It was a pretty good fit and the two curved horns gave her a menacing air. Her stubby horn protruded out the front. She was ready for battle. He cracked the cap off of a Cadance~Cola and offered it to Flurry, who took the sugary drink with wide-eyed glee.
“We guards, we drink together.” As Gosling spoke, he opened another bottle of cola, this time, a Cadance~Cola. He raised the bottle of pink soda in salute to the tiny princess, then tipped it back, chugged it down, and then set the bottle on the table.
Flurry had a little trouble holding her bottle, but Gosling helped her, and she drank down about a fourth of it before she had to come up for air. She gasped, sucking in wind, almost choked as she giggled, and then the little filly exploded with laughter when Gosling let fly with another draconic belch. Not one to be left out, Flurry Heart let go with her own belch, which was quite impressive. Her bottle of cola rattled and sloshed.
“Say, that was pretty good,” Gosling said to the filly.
“Private Gosling… what are you doing?”
Gosling, who had an excellent sense for knowing when he was in danger or trouble, now felt that he was in mortal peril. He had just been in a major battle and he didn’t feel that he was in as much danger as he was now. His blood ran cold and poor little Flurry, she looked as though she knew that she was in trouble too.
“Uh oh…”
“Uh oh is right!” Cadance said as she loomed over the pair. “Private Gosling… I’d like to know what you were thinking! She just had a bath just this morning! Now… now she is all sticky… you made a helmet out of a melon rind! What were you thinking? And you gave her sugar! Do you know what sugar does to her? Ugh, why would you do this?”
“She wanted to join the guard so I made her a helmet… she looked all sad!”
“Looking sad is a ploy… she can look sad or happy on a whim… Gosling… you… you… why would you—”
“You sound upset,” Gosling said in a low voice as he tried to calm Cadance down.
“Oh, you had better believe I am upset!”
“It was just a bit of harmless fun—”
“Harmless fun? You’re not the one that has to bathe her! Do you know how difficult she is to wrangle?”
“Well, she did mention something about escaping from her nanny—”
“And you didn’t think of returning her to her nanny?”
“Well, no, because she said her nanny was boring—”
“Her nanny is boring because her nanny is responsible!” Cadance snapped. “She keeps Flurry behaved and under control!”
“Mommy cranky,” Flurry mumbled as she gave her mother a petulant, sullen glare.
Cadance’s expression softened. “Mommy is under a lot of stress right now. Her little ponies are in danger. Things are happening, Flurry, scary things.” She let out an exasperated sigh and shook her head as she turned to address Gosling. “She does look kinda cute in her helmet.”
Nodding, Gosling hoped that Cadance’s sudden mood swing had improved his chances of getting out of this intact. He took a deep breath and then his stomach rumbled. He was still hungry. Even though he was worried about the outcome of this situation, he dared to begin eating again.
“Flurry, darling, Mommy is also cranky for other reasons…” Cadance let out another huff and she took a step backwards. “Come on Flurry, Gosling needs to eat and recover. Let’s go and get you a bath.”
“No.”
“No?” Cadance, stunned, eyed her defiant foal.
“No. I guard now.”
There was yet another deep sigh from Cadance. “Is that so?”
“Yep.”
“Very well, young lady. Guard duty it is then. You are to watch over Private Gosling as he recovers. But no more soda!” Cadance made an effort to scowl, but something of a smile lurked upon the corners of her mouth. “And when Private Gosling takes a nap, you are going to get a bath and then it is naptime for you as well.”
“Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaw—”
“Don’t you dare complain, you’re getting off easy, young lady!” Cadance stomped her hoof and Flurry went silent. She turned her head and focused an intense, burning stare upon Gosling. “As for you… you’ll be punished soon enough. Just wait till you have some of your own. You’ll get what’s coming to you, just you wait!”
Stats
Page generated in 0.039 seconds
Total duration
997 users online
1,514,703 hits today, 2,073,628 yesterday
FIMFiction
My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
Designed and coded by knighty & Xaquseg - © 2011-2024
Follow & Support Us
Support us
SubStar
Chat!
Discord
Follow us
Twitter
MLP: Friendship is Magic® - © 2024 Hasbro Inc.®
Fimfiction is in no way affiliated with or endorsed by Hasbro Inc.®
None ever tell you ´bout this. ´Cause, if this was common sense NONE would have children. EVER !!!!!
AND YOU COME BACK HERE, YOUR CROSBREED BETWEEN A DEMON AND A SPEEDESTER....I HAVE TO DRY YOU UP...STOP WETTING THE FLOOR !!! DON´T JUMP ON MY BE...YOU´RE WATERING MY NEW SHEETS !!!! NO...NOT THE SOFA...ARRRRRRGH, WIFE, I NEED HELP !!!!
"....He glanced over at Hush, who had Seville hanging from a sling beneath him...."
Aww, it's so cuuuuute. Like a stork, only with fangs and batwings, delivering an adult
"...He smelled smokey, sweaty, and he was no doubt stinky...." Just mostly in the wingpits. (snerk)
Yup, Gosling is a dead pony - eventually. I'm sure Cadance is already planning her revenge. There will be espresso and puppies as far as the eyes can see in his future.
Yeah, this is just about right on :)
Seriously, thanks for all your hard work on this, kudzuhaiku. I'm really enjoying this one, rather quite a lot, belike.
No Twilight Soda? But grape is the best
Gosling is already acting like a proper uncle, all the fun, none of the cleanup.
7328757
Not to mention the world shrillest whistle, a vuvuzela and a drum set.
7328803
Oooohhh... now Celestia will probably kill him as well.
... Are you trying to promote Unicorn Master Race Kudz?
It will be as bad as Bucky with 2 wifes that each birth 3 foals at a time. Plus Gosling will live to have far more kids.
And is it just me or did he act a lot like an Uncle to Flurry right here. Cause im sure he did.
7328820
No... I am trying to show a capable, practical leader who takes advantage of every asset he has at his disposal.
7328844 and just unintentionally showed Unicorn Master Race. Got it!
Awesome chapter
.
7328903
Read other Weed Verse stories. Each flavour has been mentioned and explained.
Argh, too much to go through.
Never mind then, not important.
7328920
Celestia - Citrus and Tamarind.
Luna - Blueberry.
Cadance - Cotton candy and bubblegum flavour.
Twilight Sparkle - Lavender flavoured soda.
7328936 I knew Luna was best princess for a reason
7329014 Pffffff, citrus is the best flavour...´cause life is too sweet as it is.
Yes....IRONy.
7328936
I do wonder - when did this franchise come up? Did Celestia~Cola exist before Cady became a princess, or did they start that after having more princesses to name sodas after? Say, after Cady's coronation or Luna's return?
7329106
Celestia~Cola came first. Remember, all profits go to charity. Then came Cadance~Cola, because Cadance wanted in on the act. When Luna returned, Luna~Cola came about. Twilight~Cola is still in the testing phase with varying strengths of lavender flavour.
All soda sales generate considerable funds for charity. Luna also has a collection of snack cakes and snack items with her personal branding. She left a package of them for Tarnish, if you recall.
7328936
I remember we also discussed the hypothetical Bucky, Sombra, and Apple Bloom flavours that might appear in the Chase-verse.
Wasn't Bucky black liquorice flavoured?
Flurry heart is equestria ultiamte secret weapon.
She would reduce all who would threaten theri world into a doting fool, unable to withstand her supernatural cuteness.
7329168
7328844 Here is how i balance it out.
A wing spell is little more than imitation. They gain the power of flight but they are not pegasi, who are weather elementals technically. Imittion cannot compete with the real thing. Like off brand fruity pebbles, they are inferior, even if caste by the strongest of unicorns.
Example, a unicorn conjures mighty gust of wind. a pegasus could take control of the wind from the unicorn and use it against them.
Unicorns often can pool their magic together in ways other pony types cannot, however individual power fluctuates wildly and can at times be marred by special talents. For example, a unicorn who is skillful with fire magic as a talent, struggles with ice magic and also spells of stealth, because of fire's nature. They have less limitations yet more restrictions.
Earth ponies are physically enduring and mystically strong, often with some amount of supernatural senses. They are also rather inventive, both in what they can craft from materials and the lands, and how they use their inborn abilities. Their bodies arugably contain the highest amount of magical energy per individual of any pony type, energy that is constantly flowing between them and their environment in a energy circuit of sorts. This field of energy can also help them withstand attack, even powerful magical spells, albeit spells that would inconvenience rather than cause harm can slip past. It also means their bodies withstand greater harm and heal faster than most species.
Reason why we never see any of it in the show is because few ponies hone theri abilities like they used to in the past, short of unicorns at times. There are ponies out there that could match even ponies like starlight glimmer and twilight, least pre alicorn, in their own way. Would classify both maud and rainbow dash as such, if theri powers were honed.
7329157
And production creates fair workplaces. The concept of such products is cool.
I do wonder what Blueblood's soda would taste like if he had one. Something elegant, maybe, rose or violets. But that would destroy his public image, I suppose. Oh, wait, I got it! Mimosa is perfect!
Flurry Heart will get something berry and sweet, straw- or raspberry, I guess. Raspberry and pomegranate is a nicely balanced flavour.
7328936 Lavender is a flavor? I thought it was a color.
--------
That moment with everyponys favorite little princess was so cute. I just love it.
And I love then ending as well.
-BFBL
Lavender flavor is that kind of like grape flavor?
By the stars, Kudz! Do you even sleep?! I love your stories- all of them- but do you do anything else, you glorious bastard?
7329319
7329307
No. Lavender is a flower. It's pretty good in tea. The color lavender is named after the flower.
Well, that's it, then: Cadence laid a curse on him.
Oh, don't look like that, it's the same sort of curse that mothers put on their children all the time: "When you have children of your own, I hope they act exactly the way that you act!"
This curse works. Ask anyone.
7328936
Ah yes, I remember now.
The flavors are more "horsie"-oriented than was originally thought.
7329319 Like the plant lavender.
Member, ponies.
7328844 aka, they are all badasses in different wways and have weaknesses that they need each other to overcome.
kinda imagine it sorta like the Avatar world (last airbender). No one bender type is better tahn the other. They all have theri advantages, disadvantages, strengths, weaknesses, and variation.
why the avatar is so badass too in the show, he can adapt to the enemy along with having a lot of power. if one does not work, there is another.
you can kjinda guess how i see alicorns then.
Aww, so no Shining Alicorn. But hey, maybe he's just practicing for his inevitable bewinging. I Want To Believe.
Though in all seriousness, that "Shining Armor flew as if he had been born with wings" line feels very much on purpose.
Oh wow, the Gosling and Flurry Heart scene really was as cute as advertised.
I'd be pretty terrified of an intense, burning glare from an alicorn. Can they set you on fire just by looking at you? I don't know!
Lavender flavored soda? I usually go with Twi as my favorite alicorn, but I might have to lean Celestia or Luna in this instance.
What does sugar do? Does it corrupt the Crystal Heart or something? Sugar does not lead to hyperactivity; that myth is a result of the placebo effect. Also, those were rhetorical questions.
7329925
Sugar does in fact provide a boost of energy. But no, it doesn't make you hyperactive.
7329930 But I wouldn't expect for it to make a significant difference. omg, i was noti...
Adorable update.
Ohh lavender flavor!! A great flavor for gum and jam.
Of course you have to imagine the sisters conversations. "Sales are in and we.. er I, I am the best tasting princess!"
* insert taste joke here*
7328736
I read this entire thing in a stiff southern accent. It helps
7329941 Magic is fueled by complex carbohydrates.
All this chapter needs is Flurry and Gosling hoof bumping at the end!
7332181
Um... no. Gosling is not some weenie pansy.
7330084 absolutely. No contest. Warm, Gooey, Ginger molasses cookies are the best. I had them for the first time the day after i posted that comment.
I'm craving Jarritos now.
Hey Cadance, wanna punish Goosey, make him bathe Flurry!
7357168 you mean get gosling near WATER? And you think that's a punishment? XD may wanna reread
7686800 Not the water, this is the punishment I meant.
Especially if she tries to get away from the bathing.
orig08.deviantart.net/f8c5/f/2015/183/8/5/8519802fa10a03557e05340b7744512d-d8zobiu.png