• Published 17th Apr 2016
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The Perilous Romance of Swans - kudzuhaiku



And lo, there was much honking and rejoicing in Canterlot when Princess Celestia announced that she had a suitor...

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Chapter 32

When Gosling awoke, he realised that Celestia was asleep. He could feel her slow, regular breathing, the steady rise and fall of her barrel against his back. In that moment, he knew, he knew that this was how he wanted to spend the rest of his life waking up. Perhaps Cadance was right—perhaps ponies should sleep together before marriage.

Just without the boning.

Yawning, he squirmed in the bed a little bit and his ears popped. He made himself yawn again and the pressure in his ears caused them to pop once more. He felt a little better and a little less queasy. He lifted his head and looked around. A cup of water was so close—his dry mouth begged for a drink, but he was pinned under Celestia’s foreleg and she weighed a ton. He didn’t know why alicorns were so heavy, but he wasn’t stupid enough to ask why so he could find out. He squirmed a little, stretching out his neck, hoping that he could just reach the straw somehow. The cup was sitting on the little table that sat beside the bed. Gosling, now duck-lipped, couldn’t quite reach the straw. It was so close, but so far away.

The cup was surrounded in a warm golden glow; it lifted and then was floated over to him. He felt Celestia give him a squeeze as the straw slipped between his lips. He drank, but with slow caution, knowing that if he drank too fast, he’d choke. His throat was still raw and swallowing was difficult.

As he finished off his water, another more pressing, far more urgent need overtook him. He swallowed a few times, moving his lower jaw, and he felt his ears pop again. Sleeping with his head elevated had helped, just as the doctor had said it would.

“I need to summon a nurse,” Gosling said in a low, scratchy whisper.

“I can help you,” Celestia offered.

Gosling shook his head. “That doesn't feel right. You’re a princess and—”

“I am going to be your wife and you are going to be my husband.” Celestia’s voice sounded a bit miffed and she waggled her ears as she tried to banish her drowsiness. “Let me carry you.”

“No…” Gosling felt Celestia’s foreleg around his barrel tighten. “No, I don’t want to be carried, let me see if I can walk. Just don’t let me fall over.” He felt the foreleg around his middle loosen and he heaved a sigh of relief. Being prideful wasn’t going to do him any good, he realised. He was going to have to pick and choose his battles with a bit more care and caution in the future.

Without warning, Gosling felt himself lifted in the warm embrace of magic, he rolled in the air, and his hooves were pointed down to the floor. He was given a moment to get his bearings and then he was lowered. His stomach still hurt and cramped from all of the horrible dry heaving. When his hooves clicked down upon the tile, he made a few little hoofy kicks, trying to find his balance.

The room around him swam and he felt the pressure in his ears increase as vertigo gripped him. He yawned—as a pegasus, this was a natural reflexive measure to release pressure when dealing with rapid altitude changes. The dizziness subsided a bit, but not much. He gave himself a quiet reminder that things were bad right now, but might get better later, he had to be patient and let time pass.

The very first thing that Gosling figured out was, he wasn’t going to be able to move fast. He took a very slow and deliberate step, lifting his hoof high, and then allowing some of his body weight to shift forwards before he followed through with the other steps that brought all of his hooves forwards. This wasn’t so bad. He did it again, moving with slow, careful, deliberate placement of his hooves.

“Gosling, darling, if I might make an honest observation…”

“Yes?” Gosling turned his head and tried to read Celestia’s eyes.

“The way you are walking is very regal. A little stiff and formal, but regal.” Celestia blinked, grunted, and slid out of bed. As she became situated upon her own hooves, she yawned. After smacking her lips a few times, she lowered her head down to Gosling’s eye level. “Look for every advantage and be bold, Gosling.”

Nodding, believing her words, believing in her sincerity, Gosling looked down at his own front hooves, yawned, felt his ears pop, and then continued towards the door with slow, steady steps. Looking a little sleepy and regal wasn’t such a bad thing, and would be better than looking drunk. He felt Celestia come up beside him.

“Formal march, soldier. High step and flex those knees.” Celestia’s voice was gentle, but commanding, a benevolent, loving tyrant. “Keep your head higher. Better posture will probably help.”

Lifting his head, Gosling yawned again and felt a huge, painful pop. His ears rang, he could hear a chiming sound and there was a strange pressure just behind his eyes. The pressure subsided and the ringing in his ears quieted down. Something bitter drained down the back of this throat, no doubt his ears were draining. He wondered if this is what ear wax tasted like. The doctor had mentioned something about this. He took another slow, uncertain step and found it a little easier. The big painful pop had cleared his head a bit. He grimaced at the taste on the back of his tongue and watched as Celestia opened the door. He could still feel her magic around him and he took comfort in the fact that he could not stumble and fall.

The hallway awaited and Gosling felt confident about showing off his new walk.


“Comfy?” Celestia asked as Gosling settled down in the bed. There was an assortment of drinks on his bedside table and a few soft, bland foods in plastic cups for him to eat. “Would you like it if I wore a nurse’s uniform?” Celestia delighted in the blush that appeared upon Gosling’s face. She liked seeing him flustered.

She sat down beside the bed upon a large, plush cushion and lifted up one of the plastic cups. Narrowing her eyes, she read the label. “Strained carrots, bananas, and rice. Sounds delish.”

“Oh, you eat some,” Gosling croaked in reply as his eyes glittered with mischief. “What’s mine is yours, Heart’s Dearest.”

“Hmm.” Celestia peeled back the foil cover on the plastic cup and sniffed. She jerked her head back, squeezed her eyes shut, and shuddered from the smell. “I can’t believe they feed this to foals… yuck!” Opening her eyes, she blinked and held the plastic cup away from her, suspended in her magic. “Oh, this is bad. No salt added.”

“I’m not hungry,” Gosling said in a wet, raspy whisper.

“Gosling, you’re going to eat. Don’t make me go and get your mother and a high chair adjusted for your size. I’m positive that it would make your mother very, very happy.”

“You wouldn’t dare,” Gosling said, his words a strained gasp.

“Oh? Think so? Try me.” Celestia indulged her own maternal side and armed herself with a plastic spoon. “We can do this the easy way or the hard way.”

Letting out a whimper, Gosling closed his eyes and shook his head. “Carrots and bananas sound awful.”

“It does,” Celestia replied, agreeing. She lifted up another cup and read the label. “We also have strained peas and pumpkin—”

“Gross!”

“I must agree, it sounds revolting.” Celestia lifted up the third cup. “For dessert, we have puréed sweet potatoes and cauliflower.”

Unable to help himself, Gosling gagged as his stomach tried to reach up from from the depths of his bowels, circle around his windpipe, and strangle him. He coughed, gagged again, and then in a very weak voice he said, “Food like that, you pray to the alicorns after you eat it.” After a long pause, a weak, “Oy vey” escaped his lips and Gosling went still.

Feeling bad for doing so, Celestia found herself tittering at Gosling words. Oh, she knew that she shouldn’t be laughing, but Gosling was funny. She wasn’t laughing at him, but with him, even though he wasn’t laughing at the moment. Okay, so she was laughing for the both of them.

“If I eat, can I get a kiss?” Gosling asked, figuring it couldn’t hurt to bargain.

“After eating this stuff?” Celestia blinked in shock at Gosling’s boldness. “I think not!” She scooped out a spoonful of bananas, carrots, and rice, then held it up to her snoot so she could examine it. It was orange yellow goo and it was pretty horrifying, as far as foods went. “You know, Luna seeks to punish herself for her past. I’m tempted to make Luna the official taste tester for our nation’s pre-prepared foal food industry. This would be the sort of punishment that would make her feel validated. At least ponies could trust food endorsed by a princess.”

Opening his eyes, Gosling shuddered. “No…” He gave Celestia his most pleading stare. “Get away from me with that spoon.”

“Be brave, Gosling!” A wide, maniacal grin appeared on Celestia’s muzzle. She was enjoying this dinner date so far.

The door opened and somepony entered without knocking. Celestia craned her head around to see who it was. She saw pink. She saw lots of pink and she was very, very surprised. “Cadance, I did not expect you so soon.”

“Auntie!” Flurry Heart’s shrill cry filled the room and then the exuberant foal cringed. Looking apologetic, she glanced around the room. “Sowwy.”

Celestia eyed the yearling and wondered if little Flurry would even eat this goop. She set down the cups and slipped the spoon to rest in the bananas, carrots, and rice. Celestia was happy to see her niece.

Cadance strode forwards past Celestia and dumped Flurry upon the bed with Gosling. “I have wings and the ability to travel at supersonic speeds. Why wait on the train?” Cadance looked down at Gosling and her eyes narrowed. “You poor dear… we need to get you sorted out. As soon as I shoo my Auntie from the room, you and I are going to have a long, long talk about a great many things.”

“But I don’t want to go,” Celestia protested, shaking her head. “We slept together and then watched each other pee.” Celestia paused. “Well, he closed his eyes, but I know I kept watching.” Celestia grinned. “Our time together has been marvelous. I was about to feed him… I had him up and walking—”

“Tut-tut, Auntie… get gone.” Cadance pointed at the door.

Celestia looked down at Flurry Heart, who showed surprising gentleness as she hugged Gosling’s neck. Little Flurry, a rambunctious force of nature, had a shocking amount of care in her actions. Celestia couldn’t help but be amazed.

“Hewwo Mistah Goose!” Flurry held her head up and looked proud. “I’m Mommy’s helpah.”

With a sigh, Celestia realised that she would be leaving this room alone, with nopony to keep her company. It seemed that little Flurry was here on official business as well. She looked over at Cadance, who was tapping one hoof while she waited for Celestia to leave.

“Cadance, darling, see that he eats. He needs to eat. Watch out, he has sad eyes and he has no shame in using them.” Satisfied that Cadance would get the job done, Celestia departed and shut the door behind her.


“You look happy.” Turning, Celestia was surprised to hear Blueblood’s voice. He looked disheveled and out of sorts, as well as a bit irritated. Celestia wondered what was going on. It took a lot to ruffle Blueblood.

“It is good to see you happy,” Blueblood said in a low, tired sounding voice.

“What troubles you, Nephew?” Celestia asked.

“A lack of sleep, a heavy heart, and a growing sense of worry,” Blueblood replied as he looked up at Celestia. “Look, I know things are really messed up right now, but I need to know. Are you going to allow Gosling to pardon Skyfire?” Blueblood blinked and gave Celestia a pleading look. “Look, I need something, some kind of ray of hope that there will be something left for her to live for when all of this is said and done. I feel like I’m lying to her when I say that things can still be worked out. They have her on sedatives under a suicide watch. She’s tied to a bed so she can’t hurt herself.”

Hearing Blueblood’s words, Celestia’s heart sank as she realised that this was, in fact, tearing Blueblood apart. She stood, staring down at him, not knowing what to say, not sure how to respond.

“Let me punish those most responsible… the press… let me wring their necks. I’ll make the reporter that did this wish they had never been born and I’ll dismantle the media outlet they work for, seeing as how they supplied the bits to sway Skyfire’s mind… let me get some real justice… please!” Blueblood’s ears drooped and his face fell. For a moment, Blueblood looked far, far older than he really was.

This wasn’t an act. This wasn’t Blueblood hamming it up to provoke a response.

“This is a farce!” Blueblood hissed in anger. “If you try to prosecute that poor, stupid filly, I will abdicate my position and throw away my crown!” Blueblood’s voice wavered with emotion as he begged his aunt for leniency. “We must show that we can be reasonable… in this instance, mercy is our best option. Let us choose forgiveness!”

Hanging her head, Celestia gave Blueblood a weak nod. “Seek justice, Blueblood. I will allow Gosling to pardon Skyfire Flash and I know that Luna will agree. But I want the full weight of the Crown to come to rest upon those most responsible for this travesty. I want the aftermath of all of this to be so terrible that nopony will ever wish to do this again for fear of what the Crown might do. Am I clear?”

Blueblood gave his aunt a frantic nod. “Yes, yes, Your Majesty, you are clear, and I will make them rue the day they plotted against us. Thank you, Your Royal Highness.”

“Oh, and Blueblood…”

“Yes?”

“Go and give that poor filly something to live for. Don’t tell her about the pardon just yet, just let her know that we are considering leniency.” Celestia’s lips pursed together for a moment and she felt a heaviness in her heart. “Tell her that she has my forgiveness and that I will be coming to speak to her…”

Author's Note:

Soon... Gosling and Skyfire will be face to face. The past must be confronted.

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