I'm Lefty Flip. I write darker stories... Mainly.
This story is a sequel to From Filly To Mare: A Scootaloo Story
The story starts with a rainstorm. Rarity spots some old box outside, and investigates. She finds a crying filly inside, named Sweetiebelle. She raises Sweetie from sad, lonely filly, To an adult, and strong mare. What will become of Rarity and Sweetiebelle? Only this story will tell...
Page generated in 0.043 seconds
Total duration
748 users online
949,481 hits today, 2,073,628 yesterday
My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
Designed and coded by knighty & Xaquseg - © 2011-2024
Support us
SubStar
Chat!
Discord
Follow us
Twitter
MLP: Friendship is Magic® - © 2024 Hasbro Inc.®
Fimfiction is in no way affiliated with or endorsed by Hasbro Inc.®
Why are your chapters so short?
Sweetie Belle. Smaller numbers should be written as words, not numerals. Also, I'd recommend brushing up on your dialogue grammar, as there are some issues there.
Those few grammar issues aside, the writing was overall decent. Unfortunately, the snippets are short, and we can't really see how they've shaped Sweetie Belle. If she died at seventy, you've got about twenty words per year of her life... The story needs to be more. Longer chapters, and more of them, so that we get a better sense of who Sweetie Belle is and who she is becoming, and how the events of the past have shaped her.
It's Sweetie Belle with a space like Apple Bloom