MoonShine
Joined 17th Nov, 2011 ·
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what is this i don't ever.......i'm a twin my self....and i don't want to know why there is a sex tag.............
[edit] nvm mind about that....
747338
What he said. Maybe add an incest warning or something? A lot of people find that kind of thing really squicky.
747338>>747361
Well it isn't the worst fanfic out there you know. Decent paragraph lengths and spelling along with decent storytelling makes it at least readable.
But you really want to work on grammar and writing. It kinda felt like "she did this, and then this then this happened then this, this, and this."
A little (or moderate) work and you won't be criticized.....too much.
.....
Ticket?
Is that you!?!
What have you done...
747406 no my comemet was before i read it........i saw twins...and it had a sex tag.......you can take it from there
That pink OC needs to be condemned!
scranton.mylittlefacewhen.com/media/f/img/mlfw5320-ab-thisshitagain.png
Does anyone in this community know how to design a character?
h12.abload.de/img/0174_25758.gif
748081 apparently not
I feel bad for you, author.
It's hard not having a single like- so here, take one.
750171 Thanks, I can't believe how much ponies assume things, I don't like incest and yet they assume I was going to have that in my story, no it has a sex warning because there will be a lot of of sex in it but not with the twins. Damn them
I really can't believe it.
747406 I'm going to continue with this story and there's shit all you can do about it. Now please, I wasn't planning on incest and I never will.
Why does everypony hate this story?
I make a great piece like When Worlds Collide and then as soon as I make a non-war themed story, all hell breaks loose and ponies hate me.
Maybe I should just stick to what I do best, war.
771855 I thought the fic was decent now the best thing but decent enough for a like
801733 Thanks