A Study In Nonsense

by Professor Piggy

Movie Night 2: In The Dark

The thing that used to be a pony lurched out of the darkness, hissing like a spooked rattlesnake, and loomed over the cornered colt. He tried to scramble away, to escape, but there was nowhere for him to run to – the windows were too far up and the door’d been blocked when the ceiling caved in. Slowly, the thing gained on him – and then it began to change, wings sprouting from its back as its neck grew longer. It was time for the -

“That’s not scientifically possible! Science can’t do that! It doesn’t make sense!”

It was time for the monster to feed. The screen cut to one last shot of the sobbing colt, and then as the creature struck it faded to black. The screaming didn’t stop, though – that went on for quite a bit longer.

“How is he still screaming when it ate him head first? Vocal cords don’t work that way! Or are they going to claim that was ‘magical radiation’ too!?”

Applejack sighed, and turned to shoot a flat look at her friend. “Twi, that ain’t the point – it doesn’t matter if it makes sense or not, it’s just supposed to be scary. It’s like a ghost story: we know ghosts ain’t real, but the stories are still fun!”

Twilight turned to glare back at her, still stroking the scaly purple head that was buried in her chest, sobbing loudly, “That’s not the same thing! There’s no scientific evidence that ghosts don’t exist – they don’t make sense, but they haven’t been disproven. We know magic can’t transform ponies by mistake – at least not into monsters like this! This isn’t just wrong, it’s…it’s….”

The Unicorn’s voice dropped to a whisper and her scowl deepened. “It’s misleading! These ponies are going to go away thinking this is how science works! Do you have any idea how terrible that is!?”

The Earth Pony shook her head, trying hard not to laugh at her friend’s overreaction. “No, I can’t say I do – you’re worrying too much, hon. Nopony takes these movies seriously, and I can almost guarantee you that nopony came here to learn more about science -”

“That’s why I’m here!” Twilight objected sharply, and for a moment Applejack just stared at her. Then, very quietly, she began to chuckle. She tried to stop, but she couldn’t – and soon she was laughing loudly as her friend sat glaring at her. Somehow, that just made it funnier – unlike the looks she was getting from the ponies around her who were actually trying to watch the movie.

When she finally regained control of herself, she forced her smile down and looked as seriously she could at Twilight. “Sorry, Sugarcube – I don’t mean to laugh at you. It’s just that I ain’t never met a pony who’d come to a movie to do more work before. You’re supposed to be having fun – can’t you relax a little?”

“Fun?” Twilight’s eye twitched, just a little, “Fun!? How do you expect me to have fun when these ponies couldn’t be bothered to get their facts right? Do you know what would be fun? If the movie knew what it was talking about!”

“Uh…Twi?”

“I mean it’s not even that hard – an intentionally cast spell could easily have caused this! There are certain potions that could do something close! But no! They couldn’t be bothered to do their research and now the entire movie makes no sense! These ponies came here to learn, Applejack!”

Applejack opened her mouth to answer, only to be cut off by somepony clearing their throat behind her. She turned slowly, and found herself face to face with a scowling usher.

As the three of them were escorted from the theater, Applejack couldn’t help but scowl. This was all Rainbow’s fault – if she hadn’t suggested that the six of them split up, she’d have been enjoying her evening in peace. But no. Instead she’d been dragged to The Sciencening by Professor Science herself, and now she was being thrown out into the street.

Rainbow Dash was going to pay.

Comments

[TheAlmightySage]

Of course the mad scientist mare takes offense!

[ForSpite]

... Rainbow Dash is experimenting with theme pranking isn't she. Somehow that makes this one even funnier.

[BenRG]

“No, I can’t say I do – you’re worrying too much, hon. Nopony takes these movies seriously, and I can almost guarantee you that nopony came here to learn more about science -”
“That’s why I’m here!” Twilight objected sharply, and for a moment Applejack just stared at her.

Only you, Twilight Sparkle, only you.

[Professor Piggy]

1705643 Naturally. Poor, poor AJ.

1708019 This is, I think, my favourite of the three - I'm glad you enjoyed it.

1712502 Hehe. I couldn't resist that - something about the idea that there are some things Twilight is still just fairly ignorant about that are normal to everyone else, due to her sheltered upbringing, amuses me tremendously.

[JetstreamGW]

Seriously. dash penned these films didn't she?