A Study In Nonsense

by Professor Piggy

The Spark

The Prompt: Ship all the mane six in a single relationship, not as separate pairings.

-----

Love, she had decided long ago, was complicated.

Not in the way that cheap romance novels or plays had led her to believe, where obstacles emerged at every turn to tear the beloved couple apart and leave them pining for one another until the end where one of them inevitably died – although, in this particular case, that was in fact rather closer to the truth than she might have liked. They were, however, a special case; not every couple in the world had to contend with world ending disasters, and she quite suspected that almost none had been targeted by the Spirit of Chaos himself.

Couple was the wrong word, really. She knew that, but found that she didn’t especially care. As she gazed around the crowded ballroom a smile found its way onto her lips. From where she sat, high on the balcony gazing down over the assembled throngs – there for her, for them – she was happy. Away in the corner, chatting animatedly with the Wonderbolts, was Rainbow Dash. As always – always ­– was when she was excited the Pegasus was a blur of motion, gesturing wildly and striking pose after pose as she regaled them with some tale or another of her (suitably embellished) heroism.

And rightfully so. There were few ponies in Equestria or anywhere who could have done what Rainbow Dash had – bragging about it was, of course, extremely rude and unladylike. But Rarity found that she didn’t care about that, either. Her friend was in her element, and she was happy – add to this the gown Rarity herself had designed and she had rarely been more beautiful. Her heart skipped a beat as she remembered, just for a moment, the look on that face when Dash had first heard her proposal.

She had been the first, of course. That had been a necessity, given the circumstances – two of her friends had already been smitten with the Pegasus, after all, and in all honesty she had seemed the most likely to take to the idea. How wrong that assumption had been.

“F….Fluttershy….and Pinkie? No way! That’s….you’re crazy!”

“No, my dear – I’m simply not blind.”

“Oh, and I am huh? Is that what you’re saying?”

“Of course not, darling! You’re simply a little dense, that’s all.”

Looking back on it now she supposed she could perhaps have been a little more tactful. But Dash had absolutely overreacted – she’d spent an hour getting herself more and more upset, and then she’d refused to speak to Rarity for almost a fortnight. She’d left heartbroken, convinced that her master plan – her scheme, to see all of her friends as happy as they deserved to be – had failed.

And then, after two weeks of anguish Dash had had the nerve to saunter straight into her boutique with a wing around…

Fluttershy. There she was, hidden away in the back of the room, shifting uncomfortably on her hooves. She was doing her best not to draw attention, of course – but as was quite often the case she was failing miserably, and ponies were flocking to her left and right. It was no surprise – Fluttershy was always radiant, but tonight she was simply magnificent. Usually Rarity would have taken it upon herself to intervene, to draw the ponies away or to steal Fluttershy for herself – but that honour had been reserved in advance, this particular night.

“You really think Pinks likes me too? I mean, seriously? She’s always drooling over Fluttershy!”

“W….what? She…she is? No. N….no, you must be mistaken. She’s always talking about how amazing you are!”

“Of course she is – I am amazing. But that doesn’t mean she likes me like that. And haven’t you noticed how she’d dead set on being your guardian angel all the time?”

“If you’ll forgive me for saying so, I rather suspect that you’re both correct in the particular case.”

As she watched a pair of bright pink forelegs stretched out –somehow, impossibly – from beneath the table at least a meter from where Fluttershy stood, shaking, and then she was gone. An explosion of on the other side of the room, and out tumbled two ponies – Fluttershy herself, and the ever enigmatic Pinkamena Diane Pie. That was perhaps the encounter she remembered best, though it made her shiver just to think of.

“Pinkie Pie, come out already!”

“NO! You’re LYING!”

“Why the heck would we do that!? I never lie! And neither does Fluttershy!”

“Ahem.”

“Oh yeah! And I’m pretty sure Rarity does sometimes, but we’d kick her flanks if she tried it with this!”

Rainbow Dash, Rarity decided, would pay for that later.

“You’re all LIARS! I thought you were my friends and then you go and do THIS!?”

“P…Pinkie…please…”

“You said you loved me and I BELIEVED YOU! But you DON’T! You love HER! Well you really got one over on poor, stupid Pinkie Pie! HA HA HA!”

It had taken a long, long time. Days and days of screaming and crying and horrible, horrible words. And Pinkie had believed every one of them. But not one of them had moved, not one of them had walked away or abandoned her, and when that door had opened…well, it had been a start. Pinkie hadn’t been the last to join their little…whatever one would call it, but Rarity was quite sure she had been the last to really accept that her friends – all her friends – loved her.

Especially that one. Rarity’s heart still danced whenever she saw Twilight Sparkle, and as the two ponies tumbled out of nowhere and landed at her feet the other unicorn laughed – a beautiful, perfect sound that sent an exquisite chill through her and soon mingled with the quiet music of Fluttershys giggle and the bellowing, inelegant snorts that radiated from poor, beautiful Pinkie.

“Whatever do you mean ‘not possible?’”

“Exactly what I said! It’s not possible. She’s so…so….”

“Random?”

“Exciting! Exuberant! Full of life!”

“Insane?”

“Yes! But in a good way!”

“And why in the world would that mean her loving you back is ‘impossible’?”

“Well…look at me. I’m nothing special – I spend all my time with my nose in a book or babbling about magic. She doesn’t care about that stuff.”

“Perhaps not, dear, but she cares very deeply about you.”

Twilight had started rambling, then. Spouting off facts and figures in that adorable way she often did. And so Rarity had done what felt right – she had kissed her, and made it quite apparent that it was not, in fact, impossible to love a bookworm. She loved all her friends, of course – but Twilight had been the first. And the last…

“Rare?” There she was, sliding a foreleg around her and pulling her close. Rarity didn’t quite dare to look her in the eye. “What’re you doin’ up here all by yourself? Didn’t you want to mingle with all the fancy ponies or somethin’?”

She chuckled and, eyes still closed, planted a kiss on Applejack’s cheek. It might have been her idea, and it might have been her drive, but it had been Applejack who had bound them all together in the end. Who had brought them to this night. “I was just thinking, darling. It’s remarkable, isn’t it?”

“What is, Sugarcu – oh. That.” The earth pony chuckled softly. “I reckon it is. Can’t say I’m surprised, though – you set it up, after all, and there ain’t a pony alive more remarkable n’ you.”

She snorted – inelegant and unladylike, as only they were allowed to hear her be. “Don’t let Rainbow Dash hear you say that. Remember last time?”

“How could I forget?”

They laughed together, then, for a long time. And when it was over, the six of them stood together – just as they would forever.

“I daresay, girls, that this was the most wonderful wedding I’ve ever had the pleasure of attending.” She couldn’t help but notice that she sounded on the verge of tears.

“Of course it is!” Dash shot back, grinning her winning grin. “It’s our wedding. And we’re awesome.”

The others nodded their agreement, almost as one, and as Pinkie launched into yet another long speech Rarity smiled.

Love was complicated. But that didn’t mean it wasn’t the most beautiful thing in the world.

Comments

[ray10k]

ok, Shipping is done now.
We can all go home.

[Leafsw0rd]

I lost all the ships. Help me place this?

[Professor Piggy]

940712 It's omnishipping - the six of them together in the same relationship. I'm pretty sure that's what you're asking - if not, let me know. Happy to help.

If you mean the order it happened in, it's as follows: Rarity noticed that all her friends were secretly in love with one another, and decided that she'd get them together to make them happy. She started with Dash, because both Pinkie and Shy were in love with her, and Dash brought in Shy. The three of them brought in Pinkie, which is about when Rarity herself joined in. Next came Twilight, who Rarity was in love with, and Applejack who was in love with Rarity. Eventually they all fell in love with each other, too

Hope that helps.

[ForSpite]

Well, this is a rare thing to see because it's absurdly complicated, but you managed to write it well, largely because you paid decent attention to the fact it wouldn't all go down smoothly.

EDIT: And your characterization(like Pinkie's vulnerabilty to thinking her friends are all laughing at her) is quite good, but that's standard for your stuff.

[Professor Piggy]

944462 Thanks. :D I'm glad you liked it. And thanks for the kind words re: characterisation.

[Donnys Boy]

All of my love for this. Special props to Pinkie and Rarity characterizations, though they're all quite good, as ForSpite said.

[tilkau]

Couple was the wrong word, really.
True that. I'd like to say tuple is the right word, but it isn't exactly.

As always – always ­– was when she was excited the Pegasus was a blur of motion,
Is the first 'was' a copy+paste error or typo?

[Bookmark88]

more omnishiping pleese