A Study In Nonsense

by Professor Piggy

The Gift Of Laughter

Prompt: Two pony parents discuss what to name their foal.

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“No.” The word came out much more sharply than he had intended, and he immediately regretted it – the way his wife’s face fell so suddenly, the small little smile he had fallen in love with melting away into a devastated frown as she turned her shining blue eyes away from him. “We’re not calling our little girl…that. She’d be a laughing stock, Annabelle!”

Annabelle didn’t respond for a moment – she nuzzled little Amy, who lay sleeping in her arms. The newborn filly cooed gently and snuggled deeper into her grey fur, and he felt his breath catch a little in his throat. She was so beautiful. They all were. Amy. Lina. And her. The last little one, sleeping peacefully in the cot with her little sister and every so often letting out what sounded like a giggle.

“I thought it was a pretty name. I know it doesn’t fit with your families tradition, but I just thought… I don’t know. Forget I said anything.” She sounded so low. She often did – Annabelle had always been prone to depression, and it was difficult to make her smile. He tried his best, of course. He always tried his best.

“It’s not that.” He insisted, firmly – and it wasn’t. He smiled at his wife, hoping to reignite some small spark of the smile she had had on her face a moment before. None was forthcoming.

“Then what is it, Deep? Do you just insist on naming them all yourself? I let you name Amy and Lina, but you can’t let me have this one thing?”

He took a step back, bile rising in his throat. That hurt. Not because she meant it to hurt him, but because she believed it – even if his wife had been the type to try and hurt people, and she wasn’t, he could see it in her eyes. Annabelle really believed he was just doing it out of…what, spite? A desire to be in charge? It wasn’t that. It couldn’t be that.

“She’ll be a laughingstock.” His voice was shaking. He hadn’t intended that – he wanted to convince her, not beg her. “They’ll make fun of her – call her names, tell her she’s wrong. They’ll hate her!”

Her blue eyes narrowed, and he took a step back. Wordlessly, she kissed Amy on the top of her little purple head and placed her down gently next to her sisters. The nameless filly immediately threw her forelegs around Amy and squealed in delight. Annabelle’s smile reappeared, just briefly, and then she had her arms around him.

“You stupid, stupid stallion.” The words were harsh, but the tone was warm. “That’s what all this has been about all this time?”

He wanted to take offense. Wanted to say it wasn’t stupid. Because it wasn’t, and he knew it – it was his job, to protect that beautiful little bundle of laughter. To protect all of them. He wasn’t going to let them suffer the same way he had. But he knew she wasn’t trying to hurt him.

“It’s not stupid, Belle. You don’t know what it’s like to –“

“To have a name everyone makes fun of? Of course not.” She actually snickered a little, then, “Because Annabelle Sylvia Pie –“ Here she paused, and struck a regal pose. He felt a smile tugging at the corner of his mouth; Annabelle rarely made jokes, but when she did she tended to put her all into them. “- is just such a common name. My friends Pudding Pop and Twinkle Wish never stopped making fun of me.”

He frowned. “I think it’s a beautiful –“

“A beautiful name. I know you do. And you know what? Even though their teasing hurt me, I think it’s a beautiful name too. And I also like yours.” She stared into his eyes, expression flat, daring him to challenge her.

“But – “ He couldn’t help it; she had to be lying.

“Deep Schist!” She cut him off, an edge creeping into her voice “If you try and tell me I’m not allowed to like your name, I am going to throw away your hat and you will not be able to stop me. You know this as well as I do!”

It was true. He really couldn’t argue with it – when his wife wanted something a certain way, it had a way of just…happening. It had always puzzled him, a little bit – she seemed to be able to unlock any lock, find whatever she was looking for in moments – and when she wanted things to disappear, they went. Instead he just nodded, wondering just how forlorn he had to look.

She smiled at him, and stepped closer to plant a kiss on the end of his muzzle. “Good. Now, explain to me again why you think naming her after my mother would be such a horrible idea?”

He couldn’t. He knew it, and she knew it. And really…it was a beautiful name. And it fit her so perfectly. Like it was made for her. Giving his wife a small smile, Schist wandered over to the cot and stared down at his three daughters. Amethyst and Tourmalina were sleeping peacefully, a pink foreleg wrapped around each.

But she stared back at him, grinning as though she were born to. Quietly, slowly, he leaned down and kissed her soundly on the head. If they wanted to make fun of her, ridicule her, he would just have to be there to stop it.

“I love you, Pinkamina Diane Pie.” His voice was a whisper. The giggle of delight which erupted from the filly a moment later was not.

It was, he decided, the most beautiful sound in the world.

Comments

[Akemimi]

Eeeee~

[Donnys Boy]

I love this glimpse into the Pie parents. I think this is my head canon for them now--two ponies who mean well and who love their daughters desperately but don't really know how to deal with the black sheep (pink pony) of the family.

My fave part was this: “Deep Schist!” She cut him off, an edge creeping into her voice “If you try and tell me I’m not allowed to like your name, I am going to throw away your hat and you will not be able to stop me. You know this as well as I do!” Even without the following paragraph, this bit just feels very much like an echo of Pinkie. Like mother, like daughter.

[Professor Piggy]

807895 Yeah, that was pretty much my headcanon for them - that and that her mother gets less and less able to cope with her depression as time goes on, and things get less happy. But I've no doubt they love their daughter. And I'm glad you said that, because honestly? I thought so too - I almost left out the next bit, but I was worried people wouldn't pick up on it so I decided to leave it in.

Glad you enjoyed it, DB. ^^

[TheVulpineHero1]

Hmm...Very interesting, very interesting indeed. I'll come clean: I've never found Pinkie's mother and father to be especially interesting, and honestly still don't, since they seemed to me to be a take on the puritanism of American settlers, a subject which (being British) I have no interest in. What interests me, as with practically every story that mentions it, is the depression. Being someone who suffers from clinical depression myself, I can't see the word in a story without engaging, even if it's just a casual reference, completely undeveloped or refers to the mood rather than the condition. As you can imagine, I constructed myself an interesting little case study on Pinkie Pie's mom. Probably not what you intended with the story, and me telling you this doesn't really count as constructive criticism in any sense of the word, but the way I figure it, it always helps to know what people's reactions are to what you write, even if those reactions are somewhat tangential or unexpected.

[Diamond Sparkle]

[Smirkythread]

Is it bad that I laughed at his name? Because I kinda feel bad right now.

[Titanium Dragon]

Deep Schist is an amazing(ly terrible) name.

But I can't get past the idea that her sisters are named Inkie and Blinkie, and her dad is named Clyde, because that is just too funny.

Still, an amusing little story.