A Study In Nonsense

by Professor Piggy

True Friends

“Rainbow Dash, are you absolutely certain this is necessary?” Rarity asked for like the millionth time, giving the Pegasus that look that she was pretty sure by this point meant 'this is the part where you say 'nope, it's a dumb idea and you were totally right.'' Rainbow Dash knew exactly what she had to do – ignore it. She was totally right. She was always right. She just had to explain it in a way Rarity would get.

Or possibly lie through her teeth. Whichever worked. Either way, she shot her friend an annoyed glance and sighed. “For the billionth time, yes! We gotta do this! We both know Fluttershy's not gonna do it for herself, and I dunno about you but I'm pretty sure Pinkie Pie isn't gonna pick up on all this stuff herself. We gotta kick her flank now so she doesn't hurt Shy later! What's the big deal!?”

“The 'big deal' is that when dear Fluttershy told us about her relationship with Pinkie she did ask us quite clearly not to get involved – and not to reveal that she had done so. I'm quite happy to traipse around town after them erm...you know...”

“Yeah, spying. I know.”

“It is not spying! I do not spy! We were merely observing them from a distance so that we could help to smooth over any unfortunate incidents that occurred. Spying indeed – why, we were doing our duty as their friends!”

Dash shrugged, biting back a snicker at the indignant expression on Rarity's face. “Okay, so you were doing that and I was spying. Whatever. Get to the point.”

The Unicorn's blue eyes narrowed, and Dash felt her heart beat just a little bit faster – she couldn't help but shoot Rarity a grin, the teasing kind she pretended to hate so much, just to see that adorable little pout appear on her face. She'd pay for it later, of course – but it'd be worth it.

“The point,” Rarity said eventually, “Is that if we march in there and start throwing demands and questions at poor Pinkie Pie, she's going to catch on. She may be a little strange, but she's hardly unintelligent.”

“So? We'll ask her not to tell Shy we talked. She's not gonna snitch on us – it's not like we're gonna be mean to her or anything.”

It was Rarity's turn to sigh, and Dash felt a flicker of annoyance when she did. They were wasting time – time she could be using to make sure her two friends'd be happy instead of spending the whole time stupiding at each other and being miserable. Still, Rarity was her friend too, maybe more than that, and there was no arguing that she was better at the whole 'thinking things through' thing than Dash was. So she'd listen – even though she was totally right.

“Whether Pinkie tells Fluttershy is hardly the point, although I doubt that she'd even be capable of avoiding such – the poor dear has enough trouble not ruining her own surprise parties. What I am saying is that we'd be betraying Fluttershy! And not only that, we would be demonstrating that we don't trust her.”

“What? That's stupid! How do you figure that!?”

“The dear girl explicitly told us that she wanted to handle this herself. That her relationship with Pinkie is hers, and she wants to make it work on her own. She told us that because we're her friends, and she trusts us despite the fact that both of us have a – entirely undeserved, in my case – reputation for not being able to stay out of anypony else's business! Do you understand what I'm saying, Rainbow Dash?”

She had to admit, Rarity had a point. She didn't want to admit it, because that meant admitting she was wrong. Or at least not totally right. And it also meant not helping her friends when she could do it so easily. And both of those things – especially the second, but not by much – sucked. Almost as much as losing sucked – and losing sucked almost as much as losing to Rarity.

But losing to Rarity wasn't as bad as hurting Fluttershy, or Pinkie. Nothing was as bad as that. So reluctantly, she nodded her head. “Yeah. Yeah, I get it. You're right – we gotta butt out. At least for now. But if either of 'em hurt each other, I'm gonna kick both their flanks, and you're not stopping me!”

Rarity giggled that dumb, perfect giggle she always giggled when she won. Dash hated that giggle – it hardly annoyed her at all, and it kinda made her want to lose things sometimes. It wasn't fair. That giggle sucked. But the kiss Rarity leaned over and planted gently on her cheek a second later didn't, and neither did the whispered promise that followed it.

“Darling, if that day should ever come I shall be right there beside you. I doubt I'm quite as skilled at kicking things as you, but I am quite good at scoldings. Until then, however... thank you. I appreciate you listening to reason.”

Dash rolled her eyes, trying to keep herself from blushing and failing miserably. “Yeah yeah. I'm awesome. I know it. And um...” she coughed, quietly, “thanks. For talking me out of it.”

“Think nothing of it dear. You know that I thoroughly enjoy proving you wrong.”

The flat look Rainbow Dash shot the giggling Unicorn didn't seem to discourage her at all, so she decided to try something else instead. “So what are we gonna do tonight, then?”

“Why, exactly what we were going to do all along! We're going to go and visit dear Pinkie Pie! After all, there's always the chance that she has some secret she wants to tell us. And it would be just awful of us to leave her with that weighing on her.”

“...So we're gonna go visit Pinkie because you're hoping she'll tell you stuff without you asking?”

Rarity just smiled at her, and turned to wander away. A moment later, with a sigh and a shake of her head, Rainbow Dash followed.

Comments

[Professor Piggy]

The prompt: Rainbow Dash and Rarity interrogate Fluttershy’s new paramour, who is [your preferred pony to be paired with Fluttershy].

This is a special prompt Donny's Boy made as a challenge for me. I failed miserably, in that Dash and Rarity never actually got around to interrogating Pinkie - but I'm pretty sure what he really wanted was RariDash, so I'm okay with that.

[TheAlmightySage]

That was pitch perfect Rainbow and Rarity.

[Midnight herald]

Shyeusssss!! I loved their dynamic - totally believeable and sweet as sin. The way you hinted at the longevity of their little interactions was great, and Rainbow's not-quite-admitting-affection thoughts were really cute. Thanks for another adorable installment...

[ForSpite]

1714586 I liked the middle one best, too.

[ForSpite]

1714551
I think "Rainbow Dash and Rarity argue over how to interrogate Fluttershy's new paramour" is probably close enough. It's a lot more clearly related than some challenge responses I've seen. And it managed to be entertaining, which is the important part.

[Donnys Boy]

1714551
1716185
Yes, what I really wanted was entertaining RariDash, so I am completely okay with this.

My fave part is still the ending, where it turns out Rarity has been intending to do exactly what she's chastised Rainbow for trying to do ... just, y'know, a sneakier, more Rarity version.