A Study In Nonsense

by Professor Piggy

When You're With Me

Dear Princess Sparkle,

I bet you always wanted to get a letter that started that way, didn’t you? Yeah you did. You totally did. When you were little I bet you used to dream about it and stuff. That’s cool – it’s good to have dreams. I know you will probably never be a Princess or whatever because of the whole not being royal thing, but I think that’s okay. You’re an awesome pony and you’ve done lots of stuff nopony else could dream of, so remember that.

Now you’re thinking ‘why the heck is she being so sentimental?’ Don’t pretend you’re not. I know it. I was just going to put Dear Princess Sparkle but Shy thought that you might think I was making fun of you and that I should make it obvious I wasn’t, and since this is kind of her letter that’s what I did. So yeah. That’s why and stuff.

If you hadn’t noticed I’m not really good at this letter thing. But Shy wanted to do one and I said I’d help her cause she’s not so comfortable with the whole writing thing. She does it fine, but she gets all embarrassed so I’m going to be writing down what she says. I forget what that’s called, but you know what I mean.

But first, tell Pinkie she sucks. She’s ruined bakeries for me now. All the bakeries here are stupid and don’t make cupcakes right. I can’t believe I used to steal buy these as a kid. Her awesome cupcakes ruined them, and now she has to make me some. I got her a big bag so that she can compare. Fluttershy also says I have to tell her she doesn’t really suck, which she knew anyway.

Okay. Fluttershy now. I’m just going to copy this down word for word, so bear with me yeah?

Hello Twilight. How are you? Oh, um. You can’t answer that. I’m sorry. I really hope that you and the other girls are doing well. Please give them my love, and tell them that I miss them very much. Oh, um. Not that I don’t miss you very much as well, because I do. I’m terribly sorry if I hurt your feelings. Rainbow Dash, who is totally sexy and amazing and the best pony ever, says that I didn’t hurt your feelings and not to worry, so I’m going to try and believe her.

The honeymoon has been just wonderful. I miss home, but I’d almost forgotten just how lovely Cloudsdale can be, especially in the fall. I hope Angel Bunny is not giving you too much trouble. Um. Not that I doubt that you can handle him or anything. I just hope that he’s behaving well. Please tell him I bought him a gift, and that he can have it just as soon as we get back. (DO NOT DO THIS! You do not want that thing tearing your house up looking for his present. Trust me. - Dash)

Rainbow Dash has been very romantic. Um. Yes. You do have to write that. I’m sorry. No, I’m sure they won’t laugh. Are you still writing? I think you’re still writing. Um, I’m sorry. I should have told you sooner. She took me flying with the birds just yesterday, and it was one of the most wonderful experiences of my life. Afterwards she had all the birds sing me a special song. I’m still not certain how she managed that, but it was amazing. (Thanks, Twi. And thank Celestia, too. – Dash)

Afterwards she took me out to dinner, at the restaurant where we first met. Well, um. That’s not exactly right. It wasn’t a restaurant then, just a park . But it is a restaurant now. I think Rarity would like it, and I’m sure she’ll be terribly disappointed that she missed out on Dash trying to act like a proper gentlepony. She didn’t do a very good job, but that’s okay – she’s much, much nicer and more fun to be around than anypony else could ever be, and it was one of the best nights of my life.

Tomorrow it’s my turn to make her day special. I’m a little nervous, but I really do think that she’ll like what I have in mind. I’m sorry I can’t tell you what it is, but um. That would, you know. Spoil the surprise. Because Dash is the one writing all this down, and the surprise is for her. No, I won’t say even if you do promise not to read it. Sorry about that, but I promise that I’ll tell you all about it when we get back. Also, it will involve makeouts. Lots and lots of makeo –

——

Twilight blinked and looked up at the group of gathered ponies. “It trails off there. I think they might have been fighting over the pen?”

She shrugged, and continued reading.

——

Um. So anyways, I blush really cutely when I’m embarrassed. That wasn’t me, that was Rainbow. As if you didn’t already know that.

Okay, okay. Sorry. Shy again, now.

This isn’t really just a casual letter. You know that we were talking about maybe coming back to live in Cloudsdale, because we’re going to need a little more money and the orphanage asked me to work for them. We came to a decision on that, and I wanted to tell you. Rainbow wanted to surprise you when we got back, but I thought it was too important and she was nice enough to help me with it.

We’ve decided to stay in Ponyville. It’s our home, now. And I wanted to thank you for that, all of you – Ponyville is a lovely place, but it really is just a place. Our home, where we belong? That’s with you. All of you, really. We’re married now, and we have the rest of our lives together – but without all of you, it just wouldn’t be the same.

Dash and I. We, um. We kind of. We never really. You know. Had a home. Not before Ponyville. Not before you girls. This happened – us, I mean, Rainbow and I – because of you girls. Not entirely, of course, because the feelings were kind of already um well there. But you girls gave us something we never really had – and in doing that you helped me see what I’d been missing all along. I already had a home. With Rainbow Dash.

I can’t leave her behind. And even though it’s an entirely different thing, neither of us can leave you girls behind, either.

So really, thank you. I’m happy, now. Happier than I’ve ever been. Because of Rainbow, and because of you girls. I’ll never be able to tell you how much each and every one of you means to me – to both of us. We love you, girls. And we can’t wait to see you.

Fluttershy

PS – All that sappy stuff she said? Yeah, that. Goes for me too. Not too good at this whole shtick, but you all know you’re totally awesome. Or at least I hope you do. – Rainbow Dash, best pony ever.

Comments

[Professor Piggy]

The Prompt: The letter home.

[TheAlmightySage]

That was surprisingly in character.

[Convisku]

“It trails off there. I think they might have been fighting over the pen?”
Yes. That's exactly what was happening Twilight. Good catch.

[Otterbee]

I don't usually squee, but when I do, it's over flutterdash.

[ForSpite]

It's a good thing I'm reading these shorts as they update rather than all at once, or I suspect I'd have mood whiplash from their ability to invoke a variety of different emotions quite well.

[G S tol Kriaal]

I used to steal buy these

I think they might have been fighting over the pen?” dl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/emoticons/shrug_Twilight_Sparkle.png

Oh, Twilight, if you only knew dl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/Fluttershy_lolface.png dl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/Rainbow_Dash_lolface.png

[Donnys Boy]

Princess Sparkle. "Tell Pinkie she sucks." "Rainbow Dash, who is totally sexy and amazing and the best pony ever ..."

This is hilarious and wonderful, from start to finish. You've kinda made me go back to shipping FlutterDash, too.

[Toshar]

1338835 ....let me tell you... there is MASSIVE mood whiplash and i am enjoying every moment of it (although breaks are needed periodically)