A Study In Nonsense

by Professor Piggy

Blue Moon

“I simply cannot believe that you chose to save that…thing over saving me!”

Rarity’s voice cut through the silence that had been hanging between them, and Applejack had to bite back a sigh of relief. Rarity’s words weren’t exactly the ones she’d been hoping to hear, but the fact that the unicorn was talking to her at all had to be some kind of improvement. She hoped. It could also mean that things were about to get a whole lot messier.

“I told you, I did no such thing! I already knew you were safe, ‘cause Rainbow was already headed after you – right up ‘til then I was racin’ to catch you. But since you were safe I –”

“Oh yes! Because every girl wants nothing more than to be saved from certain doom by her ex while her girlfriend rushes to rescue her imperilled headwear! I must be the luckiest mare in Equestria. Truly.”

Applejack let out a snort somewhere between amusement and annoyance, only to immediately regret it as Rarity narrowed her beautiful, burning eyes and fixed her with a fierce glare.

“Certain doom nothing,” she tried with what she sincerely hoped was a charming smile, “It was just a little mud, hon. I’m sorry you fell in, but it ain’t like it hurt you any! You just need a bath is all.”

“I fell thirty feet!” The unicorn shouted indignantly, only to be interrupted by Apple Bloom speaking up confidently from behind them.

“Naw, it was more like five feet. Five feet to a soft landin’ ain’t nothin’ at all.”

As Rarity slowly turned a her glare towards her the tiny, mud-caked filly shrank back just a step before glaring sternly at Applejack, “But what were ya thinkin’, sis? You ought to have helped Rarity!”

Rarity didn’t turn her glare away, and now Applejack was glaring too. A moment later she hesitantly added, “I still think ya look real pretty, Rarity.”

Rarity’s glare did fade now, and slowly a smile replaced it. “Thank you, darling,” she spoke gently, “so do you.”

As they came to a stop outside the carousel boutique Apple Bloom smiled, and Applejack let out a soft chuckle – only to stop dead when Rarity’s glare came to rest on her again in full force. “What are you laughing at, hmm!?”

With a soft sigh and a shake of her head, Applejack took a step closer to the other mare and looked her in the eyes, “I just know you, is all.”

“Oh really? And what exactly is that you know?”

“I know you ain’t really mad at me about this, for one.” As Rarity tried to speak the earth pony held up a hoof to cut her off, and continued. “You’re upset because you’re worried I wouldn’t save you if you were in trouble. But you know I would. And I know I would. So there ain’t nothing to be afraid of, you hear?”

Rarity didn’t answer right away, and when she did her voice was frighteningly cheerful. “I am upset because I trudged out in the middle of the night to take darling Apple Bloom to the park after a rainstorm because I thought you would keep me from having to get too dirty. And then you pushed me in the mud!”

“I did no such thing!”

“It amounts to the same!” Rarity hissed the words, before turning her back on the pair and continuing calmly. “I am going to take a bath. You are going to go home. If, when I next see you, you are still wearing that ridiculous hat I am going to take it from you. I am going to burn it. And I am going to make you a new one. It will be pink. With sparkles. Do we understand one another?”

Applejack chuckled, “You can’t be serious, Rare.”

“I am completely serious, Applejack. This is your one and only warning. Goodnight. It was lovely to see you.”

Applejack was still chuckling with a smile on her face right up until the door to the Boutique closed with a slam – as soon as it did the smile was gone, and she spoke calmly. “She was serious, wasn’t she?”

“I reckon she was,” Apple Bloom answered simply.

Applejack gave a nod and, with a flip of her head, clenched the hat between her teeth and lowered it slowly onto her little sister’s head.

“She’s yours now, Apple Bloom. Keep her safe, and don’t let Sweetie Belle get a hold of her, ya hear?”

Apple Bloom stared up at her sister and nodded solemnly, expression grave. “I hear ya, big sis. You can count on me.”

Applejack smiled, and the two began the long walk home together.

Comments

[Professor Piggy]

The Prompt: It's Apple Bloom's hat now.

[G S tol Kriaal]

This made me smile

[TheAlmightySage]

Ha that was cute

[nemryn]

I told you, I did no such thing!

That doesn't really sound like Applejack. I guess Rarity's rubbing off on her a bit?

[Pinkerton]

It suits Applejack just fine.

[BenRG]

Hat or girlfriend; I agree that not even Applejack is that dumb.

Oh, and Applebloom? Traitors and turn-coats never prosper.