Kind Lies
Fluttershy was a happy pony.
She had always been happy, as far back as she could remember – from her earliest memories of silently trailing behind her father as he worked his way carefully through the clouds, searching for songbirds, to the first few days she had spent on the ground, surrounded for the first time by all the wonders and beauty she would devote her life to, to right now.
Fluttershy was a happy pony.
She liked the feel of Daring's wing wrapped around her shoulders, and the warmth of the other mare's touch. She liked the way Daring's mouth was curled up in a content, untroubled smile as they lay on their backs staring at the sky and the way she whispered soft, loving words meant only for Fluttershy. It wasn't a side of her many ponies got to see – Daring Do, the Daring Do everyone knew, was loud and brash, always charging from one adventure to the next without a care in the world, unwilling to stop or slow for anypony. And sometimes, just sometimes, that was true of the Daring she knew, too.
She didn't mind it – that fire, that passion was what had drawn her to the adventure pony in the first place. That burning love of life that ignited everything around it, consuming all it could and paying it back with warmth and strength and laughter – it was beautiful. She was beautiful. And so was Daring Do.
Fluttershy was a happy pony.
She knew that, in her heart. She knew that she loved rising in the morning and watching the sun rise over the lake as a chorus of birds rose to greet it. She knew that very few things would ever compare to the sweet scent of wildflowers that tickled her nostrils if she allowed herself to wander off into the forest, just a very short way. She knew other things, too. That she always felt a surge of delight when she woke up to find herself wrapped in somepony's embrace. That, for only the second time in her life, she had found somepony who loved her and cared for her unconditionally. That if she rested her head on Daring's chest and closed her eyes, sometimes she could convince herself – just for a little while – that it was Rainbow Dash's heartbeat she could hear mingling with her own.
Fluttershy was a happy pony.
But she was not a good pony. She had known that for a long time, too. How could she be, when she was as selfish as she was? All her life ponies had gone out of their way to make her feel welcome, to help her be normal – her parents, her teachers, Rainbow Dash. They had all tried to push her – to help her overcome her fears so that she could be...normal. But she hadn't. They had patted her on the back and told her they were proud of her for trying and that they believed in her...but she hadn't really tried at all. She hadn't even wanted to. And she had resented them for it. It had been her fault – she knew that now – but back then she had thought such terrible things about them. The kinds of things she still sometimes found herself thinking about Daring.
Daring Do was a good pony, most of the time. She wasn't perfect – nopony was – but she tried her best. She always did, whether she was adventuring to find some lost relic, risking her life to life a curse from some poor village or trying as hard as she could to make Fluttershy breakfast in bed without somehow managing to set fire to the lettuce. And she was kind. She would sit with Fluttershy for hours, just watching the clouds or reading quietly to her or trying not to show how frightened she was by some of her girlfriend's larger, more temperamental friends. Just because it made the pony she loved happy. And Fluttershy was starting to believe that maybe, just maybe, it made Daring happy too.
And that was good - Daring deserved to be happy, ever so much more than she did. Daring was a good pony, a loving pony. A pony who didn't tell ponies she loved them only to realise months later that it was a lie. Unlike Fluttershy.
And Daring was happy. Truly, genuinely happy for what Fluttershy thought – judging from the stories she had heard about the other pony's life – might just be the first time. Because of her. Because of them. And Fluttershy was happy, too. It didn't matter that some nights she couldn't get to sleep because of that whisper in the back of her mind reminding her that she was a liar, that what she was doing couldn't possibly be right. It didn't matter if sometimes she felt like crying because she couldn't make herself to feel what Daring did. And it didn't matter if sometimes – just sometimes – she had to force the smile onto her face.
Daring was happy, and if a few kind lies were all it took for Daring to stay happy she was more than willing to tell them. It was better than hurting her. It had to be. And it wasn't like she didn't like her life. She was happy.
The wing wrapped around her shoulders pulled her closer, and a hoof traced its way gently through her mane. “Love you, 'Shy.”
“I love you, too.” She whispered quietly as she closed her eyes and buried her face in the other pony's chest. It was a lie, of course, and it hurt her to tell it – but she had learned long ago that sometimes, when you repeated a lie often enough, it could become true.
Fluttershy was a happy pony. And Daring Do deserved to be a happy pony, too.
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Welcome back, Professor. This was a delightful kick to the heart, with once again some of the best Fluttershy I've read in a long while. The sudden but inevitable downturn for the worse had me hook, line, and sinker, and I must say the payoff was fantastic. Thanks for some fantastic pony angst!
You're back! ASiN is back! The terrible, wrenching trio of Shy, Dash, and Daring is back! We hadn't seen Shy's view of it before, had we?
"risking her life to lift"
Ah, the Fluttershy perspective. I like the revelation she didn't originally intend for it to be a lie and only realized her mistake after she started going out with Daring, it makes her part feel more in character.
Being the Element of Kindness... How odd that it should be the geometric opposite to being the Element of Honesty? Of course, maybe Fluttershy just doesn't understand love properly. Love isn't just the passion and feeling of joy one feels around one's special somepony. At first, maybe, but real love is about putting the other first, where their happiness is so important to you that you cover over your own tears and insecurities for their benefit.
I think that Fluttershy would be surprised at how often Daring just hurts all over and just wants to sleep or is scared by Mr Bear and wants to hide but doesn't because she wants to make Fluttershy happy and that requires doing things that she would prefer not to.
That's true love.
2195756 Heh, thanks. I'm glad you liked it, and I appreciate the kind words.
2196303 Nah, this is our first look at Shy's side. People have been asking me how I justify 'Shy doing what she did to Daring, so I thought I'd try to get it across rather than explain it. Not sure how well it went.
And lift indeed.
2196462 Glad you think so.
2197012 I think a great many things would surprise 'Shy as she is here. But she'll learn, and she'll grow. Old wounds, and all that.
I think this is a really great portrait of a relationship that's almost great but not quite--and the agonizing and heartache that result from the "almost" part of the equation.