When David is mysteriously transported to the world of Canterlot High School, he does what he can to avoid any extended contact with the Humane Six or any of their family and close friends. The downside of this is that he's become homeless and alone. Now, with Christmas just a day away, he's prepared to hide in the shadows another night.
However, his plans are derailed once one of the girls catch sight of him...
(First-person story set about three months after the first Equestria girls movie that starts off sad, but ends up being a somewhat comedic tale. Also, my first hard crack at writing for a public audience. Constructive criticism is welcome, and any and all flames will be used to make delicious s'mores before being doused.)
Chapters (4)
So after being so dedicated to avoiding the mane six, to the point of becoming homeless, after one micro conversation with Pinkie, he immediately gives in, and joins them? You'd think he'd at least try to resist or something. It was kind of rushed, with the whole sharing his "backstory" with the girls, and getting a job and housing from them, you should consider drawing that out more, make it less instantaneous.
Other than that, it's a solid idea/start, I'll keep an eye open for updates.
i know the feeling of being bulled for being ginger.
my dad has Scottish decent and had carrot orange hair when he was younger and my mum has Irish decent and has a auburn hair colour
Ow man! Now I wish it was still Christmas.
Beautiful story btw!
RIP this story
Any update? No?
You respond to comments by moving your mouse over to the right hand side of the comment that you want to respond to and then clicking on the >> that appears. Also, why doesn't this story have a sad/comedy tag?
7202121 Sad due to the character's backstory, and comedy due to some of the situations he gets into, like with Rainbow Dash.
It lives!
Wow. Not a bad start!
Lol! Talk about awkward at the ending there!
Nice, emotional chapter! I enjoyed this! I look forward to some more updates to this. As for what'd I'd like to see, is perhaps a few longer chapters? Plus, when will David tell them the truth about himself? Did he tell Sunset? Oh, and will there also be a pairing?
7216535 I'll try to make Part Y about 4000 or so words, not in this story, no, and maybe. As to the future stories route, I'm debating on whether to set the next one during the Rainbow Rocks prequels or just jump to Rainbow Rocks (leaving a gap of about three months).
7219335 Alrighty then. Sounds good.
7219347 Mind if I PM you with a couple of ideas when I need it? Maybe in a couple days or so.
7219356 I'm all for it. I'll try my best to help ya out.
7219357 Thanks a bunch, milord.
7219360 Of course fellow Nobody... Lol.
Meh, it's kinda how I feel IRL. Feels like typing out fiction is more of a side thing than anything else. Plus, expect one or two 90s references to come.
Do you plan on doing more of this at some point or is it dead?